thank you Sasq. I am not offended. If I were, I would say so either openly, with respect, or in a pm.
"Sorry if I offended, but IMO we are more than our clothing."
( also everybody has the right to "accept"or not to accept the way we dress. It gets interesting when they dont accept it for personal reasons, but are employers, and are bound by law on many issues, and should not disrespect or discriminate by clothing alone.
Yes, we are who we are "inside". But we do express ourselves with, and feel good in the clothing that we, WE have chosen to wear.
It SEEMS, we think that, the suggestion is there that not all bosses take kindly to men in anything other than men's clothing. On that basis is the further discussion based.
Unfortunately there are ( It seems that ) people out there that do their darndest best to want to dominate others, to put them down in any way possible, thus also when people express themselves with clothing, showing some of their internal "colour", the othere people before named, will do anything to deny you the right to do so.
We all know where they can go to....
( a hot place, and I don't mean a desert.
But unfortunately they sometimes have things you want, ie jobs, facilitys. Then they feel they have something to say about you, and want to make your life difficult only because they don't respect you. The excuse "but my clients.... is rubbish, a meagre excuse, giving others the blame for how they act themselves. For they too can stand for their meaning, if they would respect skirt wearing men too, just as we do, or should.
What I am going through is difficult to explain, being pulled between reason and just wanting to be me. What the hell is "reason" any way, it is then mostly meaning " what others want of you,"
which you for not wanting to fight it, conform to. That is the point where I hold the mirror up towards THEM, and would ask THEM to "conform".
I have had all my life a personal fight with people who hated me, making normal life virtually impossible, without """Conforming to THEIR ways""" being people who smoked,(in GENERAL smokers) where I was or wished to go, and If I asked to respect me, they very friendly - NOT
and the answer was "if you don't like it Fu-k off", very nice isn't it?
Well holding a mirror up to them didn't help anyway, because their brains were damaged bejond repair by the effects of the smoke.
Although in my case, smokers have made normal ( social) life impossible for me and billions of non smokers, I do not want to go into that here, and am NOT critisising them as such here. It is what I personnaly went through. Everybody knows if he respects others or not, including smokers.
In particular I am talking about the persons that I was directly involved / confronted with. And in no way about people unknown to me who may smoke. ( this is an example, not an ongoing complaint against smokers.) This was for me an example of the mountain of disrespect that I had to "many may have to" climb before we are ourselves at the top, finally "above them" and the others are willing to concede that we earn the same respect as everybody else. In the same immovable way I suspect there are many people who will do their best not to think a moment about what may be new to them, ie men in skirts, and treat me, us without the respect and dignity that any other person would / should get. That may be too much asked of some.
Back to jobs, I really do think that as long as you do what is expected of you for the job, then what does it matter if men dress as women or women dress as men? Are we still at a time when people want products made specifically by men or women, or don't accept their bank statements or whatever being done by either a man or woman, what the case may be?
The biggest problem as I see it is the PERSONAL, thus discriminitive thinking, hatred, disbelief, unwanting to treat you as any other person. That shouldn't be so anno 2008, but it SEEMS to be, the suggestion is that it is, the case. I have not tried an actual job application as yet, dressed as I do, but I do intend to go as I am.
It is the FEELING that if I would conform to the other's way of thinking, so to be "accepted" by others, that I would be losing everything that I have fought for all my life.
It was non accepted that I complain about the way I was treated as a piece of s... by the smokers I had the pleasure of being in contact with, and even worse, all others that sided with them, and a forced "acceptance" had made my life a living hell.
I must say that many smokers were quite nice people, except when they smoked, and that was very often for most, then all others didn't exist.
( I had a job and couldn't just leave it, being willfully jobless and thus recieving no unemployment bennifit)
So I am very careful in what I am doing when it is about an job application.
I tghink you can understand that I am not in the mood for any long conforming in the vain hope that it would change in a short time.
A man is the same man in a pair of pants or a skirt. It is only the way people look at him that makes the difference.
