Does anyone assume you are transgender?

[timemeddler]

Every now and then somebody brings up pronouns or some variant of gender thingy. I usually laugh and say I don't bother with any of that. Sometimes I might tell them my adjectives are terrific and awesome.

[Faldaguy]

The only times I believe have been purely an incidence of inadequate vision from a distance if they only catch a glimpse of my skirt--& nada above as there is a bald head; a full beard, with a gait that would never pass for a sashay and nothing but perhaps a purse to suggest otherwise--hence my answer is "No". I am solely a MIS. The feminine honorifics have never been repeated once the party saw more than their first flash of unbifurcated cloth.

IF you are seeking to "pass" as a women; or have indeed embarked on the trans train; or wear a dress, jewelry, wig, makeup, painted nails, have boobs, are small in stature, or walk with loose hips -- perhaps there is reasonable doubt and calling out Mame is then perhaps a good bet, or even a compliment -- but for most of us MIS, there are too many clues to be misgendered. And I doubt it is cast as a pick-up line or insult.

Many of us 'Quakers' align with Seb and cultures that don't discriminate, and we eschew honorifics. Given I don't find folks who are female, GLBQT+ or of a different hue or stature any less worthy, I see no reason to let it disturb me.

[JeffB1959]

In my collective memory, no one's ever asked me if I were transgender, though, like JohnH, I've had people call me "Miss" or "Ma'am". I've always found that amusing.

[Ganesaunine]

I get mis-gendered all the time... drives my wife crazy. I don't think it ever bothered me, and I'm used to just responding to the speaker without bothering to correct their erroneous assessment of my biological gender. There was a guy in a local Walmart who came up to me and said "excuse me ma'am, do you work here", then stopped, looked really hard at me, and I swear his expression changed to that of a person who had discovered a glitch in the matrix and no longer trusted his senses. He wandered off looking very confused before I could answer him.

Funny thing is that I've not once (never ever) been misgendered while wearing a skirt! I'm always recognized as being a male as long as I have a skirt on. Go figure!

[STEVIE]

A random thought has occurred to me.
My soon to be ex-wife does.
Steve.

[crfriend]

A random thought has occurred to me.
My soon to be ex-wife does.

If anybody attempts to inform me that I'm trans-anything (other than transgressing societal norms) I will correct them, in strong language if need be -- because I'm not and regard it as a throw-back to the bad old days of the school-yard and the "faggot" slur.

Your soon-to-be-ex- viewing you so, and commenting that way on it is precisely that school-yard behaviour that we need to move beyond. It's called basic civility, and should be practised in public. It is seldom useful to be gratuitously uncivil. In simpler times, the answer to incivility was usually a quick punch in the nose -- and, as a result, we were usually polite. Now it's all P.C. BS and the basics have been tossed aside.

[Faldaguy]

A random thought has occurred to me.
My soon to be ex-wife does.

If anybody attempts to inform me that I'm trans-anything (other than transgressing societal norms) I will correct them, in strong language if need be -- because I'm not and regard it as a throw-back to the bad old days of the school-yard and the "faggot" slur.

Your soon-to-be-ex- viewing you so, and commenting that way on it is precisely that school-yard behaviour that we need to move beyond. It's called basic civility, and should be practised in public. It is seldom useful to be gratuitously uncivil. In simpler times, the answer to incivility was usually a quick punch in the nose -- and, as a result, we were usually polite. Now it's all P.C. BS and the basics have been tossed aside.

And fundamentally wrong. Yes, it is schoolyard lingo, but for adults to employ it is not only childish, but demonstrating pure ignorance. For a woman who has lived directly with a MIS for years, it may also speak to other fears and insecurities for surely she knows the difference. Regardless, it is unacceptable and such people need an education in a whole lot more than manners.

[STEVIE]

For a woman who has lived directly with a MIS for years, it may also speak to other fears and insecurities for surely she knows the difference.

That is precisely why she is soon to be my ex-wife.
NB, she is perfectly aware of the difference, but, "there are none so blind as those who will not see".
Steve.

[Coder]

The only people who consistently "misgender" me are the clerks at the Whole Foods Amazon return desk. I was just there the other day and the person helping me kept m'am-ing me. The situation was a bit awkward (people all around, very busy) so I didn't want to raise a fuss but in the past have corrected them. If I was a bearded fellow maybe - maybe - she wouldn't have addressed me like that. I'm not really insulted, but it is a reminder that our motivations and thoughts differ greatly from the rest of the population.

[SeanSkirt]

There seems to be a definite line drawn between "casual" skirts and dresses compared to wearing kilts. I get curious looks and whispered comments when I go out with a kilt (with even nude stockings). But a normal dress draws a lot of attention and even deliberately loud enough comments referring to me as a woman or a girl. So kilts out and normal skirts at home with thicker stockings on in winter.

[sellek]

The link between skirts and gender does seem very embedded in our culture, there has recently been some discussion about allowing boys to wear skirts at school. Much of the discussion seems to assume that any boy wearing a skirt is trying to be a girl. Bridget Phillipson our UK education minister was quoted as saying 'Boys should be allowed to wear skirts at school to let them explore gender, says Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson''. In this recent discussion there seems to have been no thought that boys might want to wear a skirt because they enjoy wearing skirts and no thought that boys should be allowed to wear skirts to be equal with girls who are generally allowed to choose whether to wear skirts or trousers. The assumption seems to be that the only reason a boy might want to wear a skirt is to challenge their gender identity.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/38329040/ ... hillipson/

[JeffB1959]

I suppose the curiosity over whether or not we're perceived as being transgender is just something that comes with the territory.

[STEVIE]

I suppose the curiosity over whether or not we're perceived as being transgender is just something that comes with the territory.

Absolutely Jeff, and most times we won't even be aware that it's happening.
I have really learnt ration out my concerns over others views of me.
That privilege is only awarded to a very select few these days.
Steve.

[jamie001]

The only people who consistently "misgender" me are the clerks at the Whole Foods Amazon return desk. I was just there the other day and the person helping me kept m'am-ing me. The situation was a bit awkward (people all around, very busy) so I didn't want to raise a fuss but in the past have corrected them. If I was a bearded fellow maybe - maybe - she wouldn't have addressed me like that. I'm not really insulted, but it is a reminder that our motivations and thoughts differ greatly from the rest of the population.

There is nothing wrong with being addressed as Maam. It is perfectly fine with me.

[Barleymower]

I just had a day in Norwich and a pleasant day it was. There were a lot of diverse people of all shapes and sizes. I went to a lgbt fair with my daughter and saw lots of other diverse people out shopping. The most refreshing thing was how accepted they were. There were trans women, the most hated group. Two were chatting and one looked like he/she needed a friend.
A man in a skirt would have been right at home. Was I in a skirt? No not this time, the was a biting wind and I was expecting to be walking around for 4 hours+.