Why Women Wear Trousers

[AMM]

One topic that keeps coming up at SkirtCafe is why most women wear trousers instead of skirts. The usual explanations that the men here come up with are (a) peer pressure and (b) the Evil Feminist Conspiracy.

I've actually tried to listen to what women say on the issue, and I don't think either really explains it. Instead, I hear:

1. If you wear trousers, you don't have to worry about "showing your knickers." I've had several women say this pretty explicitly. In trousers, they can sit any way they like without having to worry about what people can see. (My nieces, for instance, like to sit in armchairs with their legs over one arm of the chair.) Given the amount of condemnation I have read here of, for example, Brittany Spears, or of people even inadvertently showing what's under the kilt/skirt, I think we have to take this seriously.

2. You're less conspicuous in trousers (esp. jeans) than in a skirt, at least these days. Women report feeling looked at in ways that make them uncomfortable, whether judged (by other women or men) or in ways that make them feel vulnerable (usually by men.) If you can imagine being a young, good-looking man in a gay bar (especially if you are straight), maybe that will give you an idea what is meant by "vulnerable." And I'm sure they get looked at more if they wear a skirt or dress, even more if they wear an attractive skirt or dress. If you don't have the energy to deal with this, better to go around "in drab." I know myself that I feel more conspicuous in a skirt, even in a denim skirt, and I see how people notice me in a way that they don't if I'm wearing trousers, even if they don't say anything. (Cf. the short story "The Women Men Don't See" by James Tiptree, Jr.)

3. I haven't heard women say this one in so many words, but I think that another issue is that skirts (on women) emphasize women's femaleness. Women report being frequently worried about (or tired of) being seen as a sexual target or an empty-headed Barbie doll (talked down to by the auto mechanic, ogled by the guys on the corner, wolf-whistled at by truck drivers, hit on by guys who won't take "no" for an answer, etc.) For women who are bothered by this, it makes sense not to dress in ways that emphasize their femaleness.

To bring this back to "men in skirts": the first two concerns apply just as much to men in skirts as to women. How many men want to run the risk of running into a "kilt-lifter", or having an unexpected wind blow up their skirt, or slipping and falling, and showing their skivvies to the world? And if you've ever had the experience of being made fun of for weeks because your mom bought the wrong color socks, you're not going to want to wear something that makes you conspicuous.

(I'm sure there's something SkirtCafe-relevant to be said about the third, but I can't think of it right now.)

-- AMM

[SkirtDude]

deleted

[WSmac]

I agree with much of what's been said.

I have also heard from women that they are too cold wearing a skirt, sometimes and not all women like wearing panty hose!

Another issue is comfort from not having all that material to 'do something with' when sitting, closing the car door, etc.

Another reason I suspect women like wearing pants is that they are as comfortable to them as they are uncomfortable to us because of anatomy.

[AMM]

I think it depends a lot on the type / length of the skirt and the context it is being worn in.

Item 1 doesn't apply on ankle length skirts unless you intend to do handstands or cartwheels.

Longer skirts make it less likely that you will show what you don't want to, but they don't eliminate it entirely. And they present other issues: tripping over the hem or dragging it in the dirt, especially going up or down steps or getting in or out of a car.

And all skirts require "management" when sitting down, though exactly what you have to do depends upon the length and fullness.

I can't see a woman getting "hit on" (item 3) for wearing a "hippie skirt" either but then I don't hang out at many organic juice bars.

My understanding from women is that almost any woman can get hit on most anywhere. The sort of guys who won't take no for an answer are probably not looking carefully for signals as to whether the lady in question is looking to get hit on. As for "hippy skirts", in my youth, "hippy" was associated with "free love." Some guys get turned on by nuns. Etc. Wearing trousers won't stop them either, but it might make it harder for them to get to "first base" without some degree of cooperation or conspicuous coercion.

Likewise I suggested to a then close female friend that it may not be a great idea to constantly cut across a neighborhood park full of homeless people while wearing a tight thigh length skirt and black tights.

"Homeless people" are a pretty mixed lot. For one thing, clothing that turns one on might turn another off, or intimidate, or remind one to be on his best behavior. For another, many are pretty decent people -- your female friend might find that some of them will want to protect her. You just don't know.

I have noticed here in DC that the Hispanic women are much more likely to be wearing skirts and dresses than Anglos. There also seems to be a generational divide with older women being more likely to wear a skirt or dress.

My own impression is that the the Hispanic women who are part of a more traditional culture will wear skirts and dresses, but those who aren't dress in trousers just like the Anglos. For instance, the ones in my apartment complex, for instance, are no different from folks in Madison Wisconsin as far as skirt-wearing. And, yes, they moslty speak Spanish (some speak no English.)

As for the generation dvide, it also seems to depend upon how conservative or traditional the woman is.

-- AMM

[SkirtDude]

deleted

[Sasquatch]

It also means they can go longer periods (like all winter) without shaving/waxing their legs. Some women aren't comfortable with the shape of their legs, also - thick ankles, chubby knees, vein issues, etc. Trousers are a useful cover-up. I don't fault women for wearing trousers -just looking forward to the day men earn their liberation from them!
Sasq

[isobar]

One topic that keeps coming up at SkirtCafe is why most women wear trousers instead of skirts.

4. They don't...

[binx]

How about having to shave legs all the time? Pantyhose, then the right shoes with the skirt...And worry about not being "tan" enough in the summer for a skirt? Basically, many offices and cubicles are too cold for skirts on a regular basis. Many that I know have sweaters handy as well. I see that capris are quite popular. We can just throw on a skirt, t-shirt, and socks/shoes, then out the door.

binx

[crfriend]

How about having to shave legs all the time?

I shave mine, on average, three times a a week using a standard electric lawn-mo^W shaver. It works well enough, and I suspect I'm a bit hairer than most of the women-folk. Yes, it's a nuisance, but it looks better than spotty fur.

Pantyhose, then the right shoes with the skirt...And worry about not being "tan" enough in the summer for a skirt?

That's self-imposed. Pantyhose/tights can be a pain in the backside, but can also solve the "not tan enough" problem. I suspect that it comes down to "what can get me out the door the fastest" (pretty much the same as what drives us guys), and looks don't matter. After all, it's all "business casual" (aka "grunge") these days in the US.

Basically, many offices and cubicles are too cold for skirts on a regular basis. Many that I know have sweaters handy as well.

That can certainly be true in many parts of the country. Industrial strength air "conditioning" is a real problem in some places; hopefully some sensibilities about "carbon footprints" and whatnot will begin to challenge the notion that 65 degrees is a "normal" temperature in summer.

I see that capris are quite popular. We can just throw on a skirt, t-shirt, and socks/shoes, then out the door.

On the first sentence in that one, all I can say is, "blech!"

On the second, I feel the need to caution that as "spokesmen" (as it were) for blokes wearing skirted garments we need to be fairly vigilant in our appearance; if we appear slovenly, or that we just don't care, we're doing everybody a disservice. Let's try to get it to look good.

[Emerald Witch]

[quote

1. If you wear trousers, you don't have to worry about "showing your knickers."

3. Women report ... being seen as a sexual target ...talked down to ...

(I'm sure there's something SkirtCafe-relevant to be said about the third, but I can't think of it right now.)

-- AMM[/quote]

I eliminated #2 because in my mind it is actually the same as #3. The feeling of uncomfortable conspicuousness I sometimes have felt was a feeling of imagining others' opinions of me. The only other reason I can imagine that you haven't mentioned is the times when I have been obviously over-dressed for an occasion. (i.e. show up in a church dress for a backyard barbeque when everyone else in in jeans. NO FUN.)

I wonder if there isn't something VERY relevant to discuss about the third point, though. I'm surprised it seemed to go by without much of a glance... Maybe you haven't experienced it much yet.

Dang, I hate being in this position. I imagine it's how a male teacher must feel when finds he must tell a room full of young girls about what evil men might someday do to them. He knows HE'S not evil, but still feels lumped in...

And then he starts to doubt himself if ever he thought a girl was cute...

<sigh>

I think skirts emphasize sexuality. Not necessarily FEMALE sexuality, just sexuality. The aspect of access is obviously there.

While this turns me on no end, I like to think I am civilized enough not to bring it up in ordinary conversation with any skirt-wearing man I might meet at the grocery store. Unless it's obvious he's unattatched and we're flirting VERY heavily.

Maybe this aspect is forgotten when it comes to women, because women are pre-approved to wear skirts, and are also stereotyped into being sex objects anyway. But when men emphasize their sexuality this way, it jumps into the forefront of many people's imagination in an undeniable way. Or, maybe it jumps into the forefront of their subconscious and just makes them feel all squeamish and they don't understand why.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just thought it should be mentioned. Sometimes I get ideas...and I don't know where they belong. Sorry if this one is off-topic.

[Emerald Witch]

Let's try to get it to look good.

I absolutely agree! I think men who are well-dressed speak well for themselves, for their profession, for their families, and for men in general.

Whatever they're wearing, men who pay attention to clothing details always garner respect from all the women in the room before they even open their mouths.

[AMM]

... I think skirts emphasize sexuality. Not necessarily FEMALE sexuality, just sexuality.

The aspect of access is obviously there.[emphasis mine--AMM]
....
Sorry if this one is off-topic.

I think this is very on-topic.

I don't think that anyone can look at anyone else in a skirt or kilt without wondering (consciously or unconsciously) what they're wearing under the skirt and what you could see if you lift it up. Consider that if you wear a kilt out, almost the first question you will be asked is about what you wear under your kilt. (And, though people don't usually say it, it's pretty clear that they're kind of hoping that the answer will be "nothing!")

When I was growing up, there were still many places where girls were expected/required to wear skirts. The interest in what you could see under someone's skirt was always there (remember "I see London, I see France...."?), but we boys were soon educated to not talk about or act upon it. (Or at least to not get caught at it.)

But even though we've learned not to talk about it, the flirtatious aspect of skirts -- the unspoken "I wonder what I could see", or even "I wonder what I could do" -- is still part of the fun, and always has been. For instance, why have fancy underthings under your skirt, if not for the possibility (if only in your imagination) that someone might see them? And there's a whole (lost?) art to moving in skirts and dresses so that, if you choose, you can show people a certain amount of what's under the skirt without seeming to intend it.

This sort of sexuality is one that we men are not used to. In the places I'm familiar with, at least, there's still the idea men are supposed to take the initiative and do the looking and lusting, and the women are just supposed to look pretty and be available. But when I wear a skirt (or kilt), I feel exposed and am constantly thinking about whether people are looking at me and how much of me they can see. And wondering whether they like what they see. It's a real turn-around.

This is something I don't see discussed here. Even though I was one of the ones who was not happy with the sudden appearance of explicit what's-under-the-skirt photos, I think we could use a little more honest talk about what it really feels like to wear something that exposes (in some sense) the lower part of our bodies. I hear people talking about "freedom" and "comfort", but I can't believe it's as cut-and-dried as that for most of us.

-- AMM

[Emerald Witch]

I think this is very on-topic. ... This is something I don't see discussed here. I think we could use a little more honest talk about what it really feels like to wear something that exposes (in some sense) the lower part of our bodies. I hear people talking about "freedom" and "comfort", but I can't believe it's as cut-and-dried as that for most of us.

-- AMM

Thank you so much. I feel very validated that you backed me up, here. I was nervous bringing it up at all.

It's a touchy subject, and one which needs to be handled with care. People's feelings can be pretty raw concerning matters so close to the heart. Sexuality is one of the toughest life-issues to confront.

I would be willing to talk openly and honestly about it, but I really want everyone to feel safe. Is there a separate forum we should set up for privacy or something? Or is it normal to just jump right in and start blathering away?

Me, I'm totally open. I'm ashamed of nothing, and completely comfortable with my own sexuality and choices. But then, I've spent a lifetime figuring it out. And yes, there were costs I had to face.

If I'm talking too much, or seem overly cautious, it's just because I'd rather err on the side of caution than to hurt anyone. I've found it's generally easier to be thought a nerd than to repair broken trust. Doncherknow.

[Skirt Chaser]

Here's a new idea that just popped into my head as I contemplated why Quiet Man looks better in a skirt than I do. The styles themselves can be part of the issue. A hoop skirt with a bustle looked okay on every woman's figure when that was proper attire. The same can not be said of every skirt style these days.

Another thought along the lines of AMM's reason 1, I know I am not alone in never developing the habit of keeping my legs together. That pretty much rules out shorter skirts outside the house because wearing them is just work and rules out my favorite positions of cross legged on the floor or seated with one ankle resting on the other knee.

Count me as one that busts the idea that "I don't think that anyone can look at anyone else in a skirt or kilt without wondering (consciously or unconsciously) what they're wearing under the skirt and what you could see if you lift it up." I like to look at wild sneakers too but never consider the feet inside.

Quiet Mouse

[AMM]

Count me as one that busts the idea that "I don't think that anyone can look at anyone else in a skirt or kilt without wondering (consciously or unconsciously) what they're wearing under the skirt and what you could see if you lift it up."

With the exception of Quiet Man, I presume.

Though in that case, I'd guess the word "wondering" is not quite the right word.

-- AMM