Stones

[Barleymower]

Some of the problems in life you carry wherever you go - they are like stones, if you let them they will weigh you down.
For a long time i never went near any skirts or tights. I watched as the women said things like "what are you going to wear?" to each other. It was made clear to me that wearing the same clothes as women was wrong. They didnt need to tell me, there was enough talk around to know the do's and dont's . So i carried it around like a stone weighing me down.

I dont carry it anymore because i brought skirts into my life in a sudden very open fashion. Instead of carrying it everywhere, i stand on it, making me feel a bit taller. There are other stones i have to carry, I'm trying to incorporate them into my life.
1. I'm often ackward/clumsy in social situations
2. I'm nearly bald
3. I have a small girl who lives with me too and she's a bit too demanding for my liking.
4. I not as good at sport as i would have liked.

What stones does the rest of the group carry and how do you deal with them?

[STEVIE]

Hi BM,
Stones, nice term for all the baggage that every human acquires as they just live their lives.
Nice thought about using them as a platform too.
I've spouted enough elsewhere around here so no going over old history.
However, on Saturday I will have a skirted moment that will drop a cabin trunk of my own personal baggage.
We are going out to lunch at a local "spooky" pub type place, theme "ghost" instead of Irish or sports etc.
Not the pub but the building it occupies was my Sunday school when I was a wee laddie.
Two things hold very particular memories, the girls had their Sunday frocks, the boys, some wore kilts.
Bad enough for an envious 6 year old without a nasty piece of female work who had us in her charge.
I haven't been inside that place for an awfully long time and never in a skirt.
Saturday will be "Ya Boo, Sucks to You", nose thumbed, tongue out and middle finger in salute position.
I will have come of age.
Photos will be a definite!
Steve.

[Faldaguy]

Hopefully they've dropped a few stones too, and come of age as well.

[Barleymower]

Stevie,
It would be good if the old matriarch was there and you could have toast with her but alas she has probably passed.

Everything in the opposite wardrobe was made for men.

[STEVIE]

Toast BM, the Matriarch was a dragon in a tweed skirt.
She could have turned bread to a cinder with a sigh.
Steve.

[skirtyscot]

Stevie, you have the stones to wear what you like at work or at play. What other stones do any of us want?

[STEVIE]

Stevie, you have the stones to wear what you like at work or at play. What other stones do any of us want?

Thanks, and good to hear from you.
Yesterday marked a very special event in my life, not just in skirts, but for the whole Steve.
That tale is for a different place and as many folks realise, I am a story telling ape.
Steve.

[Mouse]

Interesting take on the baggage theme BM, which we are all supposed to carry. As I read your list, I started forming my own list, but I ran into a problem of differentiating stones and long held likes and lusts. And whether a longing to wear a certain thing, against social norms was a stone?

So, I gave up and just did a list of thing I loved as a small boy, relating to clothes and things I could not have, which most lasted till a few years ago:-

1. Long Hair.
2. Boots and heels.
3. Lycra leotards and catsuits.
4. Skirts, especially long with hoops or petticoats.
5. Earrings and other piercings.
6. Makeup and nail polish.

So, how am I getting along with these stones?
1. I managed to get going with this early days, by kicking up a fuss when ever haircuts were on the cards. I never got to any length, but my hair has always been on the long side of normal male grooming. My major problem was in my genes, leading to hair loss on top, leading to my hat! I would still love long hair, but it is not going to happen.
2 - 5 All of these stones are now in a big pile. They still get rearranged, from time to time, but generally all good, or well in progress. Number 5 I feel needs a special mention, where I love my gauges of 10mm and my split tongue. I am amazed at what the human body can be made to accept and they make me very proud of my body.
6. I have sorted the nail polish half stone and decided that the make up is probably best left to others with better skin than I possess. Again genes and age playing their part.

Overall, I am having a blast at where I have rocked up on my pile of stones. Not in a million years would I have thought, that I would be working and playing in a range of clothes that I love to wear and feel great in. Of course there are odd pebbles along the way, but my life since Covid, when I threw caution to the winds and started working in a skirt, has been amazing.

Thank you for the idea BM and sorry if I have taken the head off course.

[Myopic Bookworm]

1. Long Hair.
2. Boots and heels.
3. Lycra leotards and catsuits.
4. Skirts, especially long with hoops or petticoats.
5. Earrings and other piercings.
6. Makeup and nail polish.

I relate to your list.
1. Lockdown was, for me as for many, an opportuity to say goodbye to the barber. I would happily vary my hair length, except that the intermediate stages while growing it out were so hideous that I quail at the idea.
2. Yay. I do have a pair of ex-army boots (probably Bulgarian) that I bought years ago, but I have now branched out. No more than a couple of inches of block heel, though, and I would not get a good reaction from stilettos, either from my wife or my ankles.
3. Got my first leotard.
4. I now have a wardrobe full of skirts, plus a few dresses. But I don't have either hoops or petticoats, and feel I wouldn't get away with them except as fantasy cosplay.
5. I'd wear clip earrings, but I don't like the idea of making holes in myself.
6. Yeah, I got into nail polish before skirts, actually. Experiments with makeup suggest that I'm not going to get it to work at my age: I wish I'd had the nerve years ago, when bands like Japan were in the public eye.

[Myopic Bookworm]

Some of the problems in life you carry wherever you go - they are like stones, if you let them they will weigh you down.
...
What stones does the rest of the group carry and how do you deal with them?

A few years ago I struggled with a constant feeling of unease, irritation, dissatisfaction with the universe: to the point that my wife asked me why I was grumpy all of the time. I realized that a lot of it was to do with seeing younger friends (or children of friends) coming out as gay, or bi, or nonbinary, or trans, and then just getting on with their lives, rather than repressing aspects of themselves to fit in to the expectations of the previous generation.

So I admitted to my wife that I was "not entirely straight", which she took without fuss (being a diversity-friendly person in a general way). I finally threw away my subconscious worries about parental approval (about bloody time, in my 50s) and grew my hair. Then I painted my nails, and the sky didn't fall. And I added to my collection of kilts by starting to acquire and wear skirts.

I guess I'm still carrying some "stones" in the form of worries about other people's opinions, though frankly my wife is the only person whose opinion really matters to me. I feel physically comfortable in a dress, but psychologically uncomfortable with "cross-dressing". I went to Tesco's in a dress and heeled boots yesterday and felt simultaneously great about how I felt and apprehensive about people thinking that I was pretending to be a woman. (I love Jeff's tag about wanting to dress like a woman, but not look like a woman). I'm currently about to have my nails done in support of a local initiative to get men talking about masculinity, but the more I engage with the issues of masculinity and gender norms, and find myself distant from the "norm", the more I flirt with the notion of the "non-binary" gender label.

[Barleymower]

I ran into a problem of differentiating stones and long held likes and lusts. And whether a longing to wear a certain thing, against social norms was a stone?

Mouse I think that anything that we long for and is denied to us feels like a weight we must carry. The worst thing is we often choose to stay where we were put and carry the weight of our longings.

So, I gave up and just did a list of thing I loved as a small boy, relating to clothes and things I could not have, which most lasted till a few years ago:-

1. Long Hair.
2. Boots and heels.
3. Lycra leotards and catsuits.
4. Skirts, especially long with hoops or petticoats.
5. Earrings and other piercings.
6. Makeup and nail polish.
.......

It's a great feeling to be finally liberated isn't it? It is also a real shame that most men never experience the joys of clothes that we now know and even better we get to go out in them.

Someone said to me "you seem different". I thought i know why, I'm not longing anymore (or not as much) and I'm happier.

[Barleymower]

A few years ago I struggled with a constant feeling of unease, irritation, dissatisfaction with the universe: to the point that my wife asked me why I was grumpy all of the time. I realized that a lot of it was to do with seeing younger friends (or children of friends) coming out as gay, or bi, or nonbinary, or trans, and then just getting on with their lives, rather than repressing aspects of themselves to fit in to the expectations of the previous generation.

Hi MB you are not alone and I'm sure what you say strikes a cord with many here. I admit to being uneducated, I did a degree in Civil Engineering at a polytechnic but I don't consider myself to be educated. At least not in the workings of the mind or art for example. I think my phone must be observing me because when posted my musings on the burden of my longings; suddenly a video talking about Carl Yung pops up. Rather than stones or longings he talks about a 'shadow' in our lives. That is, the shadow is everything we repress to fit into the expectations of the previous generation or society. He said that unless we deal with the things we repress, our shadow ends up ruling and ruining our lives.

I'm so glad I went out and bought my first skirt which has now expanded to about 40 in differing lengths and styles. I still have my shadow as Yung puts it and I still have work to do but dressing in the clothes I want to wear and made a huge difference.

I guess I'm still carrying some "stones" in the form of worries about other people's opinions, though frankly my wife is the only person whose opinion really matters to me. I feel physically comfortable in a dress, but psychologically uncomfortable with "cross-dressing". I went to Tesco's in a dress and heeled boots yesterday and felt simultaneously great about how I felt and apprehensive about people thinking that I was pretending to be a woman. (I love Jeff's tag about wanting to dress like a woman, but not look like a woman). I'm currently about to have my nails done in support of a local initiative to get men talking about masculinity, but the more I engage with the issues of masculinity and gender norms, and find myself distant from the "norm", the more I flirt with the notion of the "non-binary" gender label.

Same here. As much as I shun the idea of caring what others think, it still niggles me. Then when I think about it, I sometimes say to myself "who exactly?". I do not hold with the idea that I am cross dressing. I look like a man, I have all the bits so that is what I am. Anyway I would need a wig, I've tried one of those and it was very uncomfortable. No thanks. My gender is another matter, I don't know myself it keeps shifting. I can't say I'm NB, Trans or anything - mostly though I am man so I'll go with that.

In an ideal world I would dress mostly like this:

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