This is a true story and at a time when many of us are in uncharted territory
maybe we need to just give ourselves a break. I think you will find it worth
the few minutes it takes to read it.
Danielle Wunker, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor
November 16, 2020
RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.
When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed
some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.
I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to
‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about
right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what
issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.
So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them
the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the
dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it.
What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out
there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes? But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:
“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”
I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your
dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?!
Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.
That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher
and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down.
A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the **** they fit.
There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom
to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher
properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.
But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly
important lesson: THERE ARE NO RULES.
This is, IMHO, a fine example of how Skirt Cafe' members feel or have felt.
When it comes to M.I.S., OUR OWN FEAR holds us back.
Each of us has 'given ourselves rules'. We're brought up with 'rules'.Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.
When reaching adulthood, some of the 'rules' need to be re-thought(broken).
Just my $.02 worth