Why one style, but not another?

[Disaffected.citizen]

As a "community" we have a commonality amongst us to put both legs down one hole; however, that is about the only trait we all seem to share. When it comes to the actual styles, we each have our own preferences and dislikes and, to some extent, consider certain styles to be "too femme" for our liking. The oddity here being that a style considered "too femme" for one member may be a staple item for another members' wardrobe, and vice versa.

I have often asked myself why it is that one prefers a particular length or cut to a skirt. My preference in garment is generally (but not exclusively) towards above the knee / mini skirt length and for "straighter" fits - I've not encountered any "stride restriction" problems with my choices, but YMMV. I tend to steer clear of most skirts (but not all) that go below my knees. Similarly, very few of my skirts are "A" line and fewer still (if any) that might be considered "flowing" or "flippy". The question being, "why"?

It finally dawned upon me why my general preference is such, and it seemingly has, simultaneously, both everything and nothing to do with perceived femininity. I now realise that I avoid the longer and looser skirts because, subconsciously, I associate them with my older female relatives (when they were alive or in years gone by) and also with my ex - mother-in-law. Strong associations. I also think my preferences are partly guided by what was/is within my radar as stylish for my generation, coupled with a further subconscious association, that shorter skirts have a certain "gladiatorial" edge to them.

There is no right/wrong in any of the above with either my likes or dislikes, or my perceptions of other's presentations; it's just an arbitrary observation of my own psychology. So, with the above said, I wonder whether or not similar psychology applies to all here? Not that we all should like similar items, but that certain styles resonate with particular associations. Hopefully the above is clearer than mud.

Thoughts gentlemen, please.

[oldsalt1]

As a "community" we have a commonality amongst us to put both legs down one hole; however, that is about the only trait we all seem to share. When it comes to the actual styles, we each have our own preferences and dislikes

I have often asked myself why it is that one prefers a particular length or cut to a skirt. My preference in garment is generally (but not exclusively) towards above the knee / mini skirt length and for "straighter" fits - I've not encountered any "stride restriction" problems with my choices, but YMMV. I tend to steer clear of most skirts (but not all) that go below my knees. Similarly, very few of my skirts are "A" line and fewer still (if any) that might be considered "flowing" or "flippy". The question being, "why"?

Hopefully the above is clearer than mud.

This is very clear to me. I think you have managed to pin point my feelings and preferences . All of my skirts are above the knee. I have a couple of flared out skater skirts but I don't wear them often.

Your reasons for your choice resonate very closely to mine. and you are right the fashions that I choose were in style when I was younger Much younger II have posted quite a few outfits some good and some shall we say not good..aside from that I bet there isn't one skirt that wouldn't fit you style

So you are right we are all the same yet we are all different yet some of us are the same. . If that doesn't make too much sense its because its 2 am and I can't sleep

[Sinned]

My skirts are almost exclusively above the knee. In a few cases where the skirt, bought from a charity shop, has been calf length I have shortened it. I do have three ankle biters that I like but MOH doesn't so I have only worn them when she is not around. I grew up in the sixties when flower power and miniskirts were popular and I liked the look, who didn't. MOH says that I have nice legs so it makes sense not to hide them. To me, calf length signifies old ladies and looks dowdy. I have tried calf length and to my perspective they just look wrong on me. They look fine on Moon but I just wouldn't have the confidence wearing them. I like A line and not pencil because I associate pencil with restrictions in stride although several members have said that is not the case. I evade patterns only because I rarely see a patterned skirt that I would feel confident wearing although short ditsy styles are appealing; I would wear them but they are considered feminine. I have some skirts that are either much too short or definitely feminine which I only wear around the house. Why feminine, well, they are broderie anglaise style and they fit my perception of feminine, which is changing all the time so maybe in the future they will become unfeminine to me. MOH and I were in Primark and I saw a short, black skirt with large bold flowers on it. I picked one off the rail to look at it and said that I liked it but MOH said that she didn't. So I put it back. Some materials I associate with femininity such as chiffonn or floaty nylons/rayons. Denim and corduroy I associate as masculine and have no problem wearing skirts made from them.

I suppose that what I am saying is that I have an internal perception of myself skirted and I choose the skirt that I like the look of, would be confident wearing and fits that image. I suppose that our perceptions as much defy logic as much as some of the fashions and views of our other halves.

[crfriend]

Here's another perspective to further muddy the waters.

I have skirts ranging from just a tad longer than miniskirt length, but well above the knee, skirts that tend to sweep dust off the floor, and other skirts in between. I tend to prefer the longer, calf- to ankle- length looks because I think they best suit my frame and look good on me. I also tend to go for a slightly anachronistic look, which dovetails with my personality.

Of note is that I have no real resonances with female relatives, mainly because I came from a very small family, but also because I grew up in a largely post-skirt era; by the time I came 'round, skirts had largely gone obsolete and any sort of "open garment" was largely reserved for ceremonial or formal functions/situations which didn't arise very often. So, skirts/dresses were somewhat rare on anybody during my so-called "formative years". This is one of the reasons I tend to laugh so hard when I see young women -- who may never have worn an open garment before -- fight so much with them when they dress up for proms and the like; it's like watching me try to master the rig save that the gals are supposed to know how and I'm not.

But that's pretty much it; I gravitate to styles that I am comfortable with, and in, and which I feel look good on me.

[Kirbstone]

I'm firmly in Dennis's camp. I would have put that flowery Primark skirt back on the rack, too.
Anything remotely feminine to my mind is reserved for home grounds frolics. Anything unbifurcated is regarded my MOH as feminine and off limits, so any outings for my skirtsuits, for instance have to be not in her company.

Speaking of which, I'm expecting delivery of my latest such outfit this week. It'll be in dark blue-green plaid, zip-front top with lapels, knee-length A-line skirt with some box pleats and slash pockets. Should be fun.....

Tom

[denimini]

We tend to have certain preferences about things for many complex reasons, some we probably are not aware of ourselves. I found myself liking a particular skirt and then trying to think up some rationale for choosing it. Now I have enough skirts to wear a different one every day for 3 months, many bought in the process of experimentation. Now I tend to be more pragmatic and ask (myself) "when and where would I wear this" and if the answer is "I don't know" or "probably never in reality but in my dreams", I usually resist the temptation.
I like mini skirts, tried other styles and have given up on skirts in winter after a bit of experimentation, although 8 months of 95% skirt wearing each year is pretty good going.
My skirts fall into 3 categories:
1. What I will wear anywhere, shopping etc.
2. What I will wear at home and happy to welcome visitors in.
3. The really cool and comfortable, enjoying my privacy.
Most are 13" to 15" and straight, some are 11" or 12" and some skater - flippy. There are 5 or 6 skirts I would wear a lot in a season.
I see other members liking skirts very different to what I would wear and can empathise with their enthusiasm knowing that is their choice, as my choice is mine.

If we say that a skirt is too femme, is it what we really believe or is it what we think the interpretation of others may be. I suppose what I am asking is; are we choosing to ignore fashion at one level and behold to it at another.

Why one style, and not another? Because we are human.

[pelmut]

..this is one of the reasons I tend to laugh so hard when I see young women -- who may never have worn an open garment before -- fight so much with them when they dress up for proms and the like; it's like watching me try to master the rig save that the gals are supposed to know how and I'm not.

A few years ago I watched a play set in the 1900s. One of the younger actresses was wearing a long skirt but was stomping around the stage as though she had only ever worn jeans -- she probably only had.

[Disaffected.citizen]

Anything remotely feminine to my mind is reserved for home grounds frolics......

Which is the thrust of my original point; we each and all have differing perceptions as to what constitutes "feminine" and the varying degrees of femininity, too.

Flowery "dresses" in the Sixties and early Seventies were worn by hippy women and men. Were they feminine? Or, again, was it just a social construct. Is a flowery shirt (technically, I guess, a blouse - shirts having tails) "feminine"?

Now, I believe there to be some correlation to our own perceptions and the "list" of issues I posted about here; particularly point 1, but also points 9, 6 and 2. What I am leading to is that we sometimes seem to perpetuate the "male" stereotype; if we each consider something to be feminine we challenge it as detrimental to our "cause" when, in actual fact, it is just another example of a member taking back freedom.

I've said before that styles favoured by Carl, Kilted John and Moonshadow wouldn't work on me - I don't think I have the frame and wouldn't feel comfortable - but each of them "own" their style and there's no mistaking that they are men. By the same token, I doubt that styles favoured by Dave (PDX) or Kilty would work on the aforementioned trio - they probably wouldn't feel comfortable either - yet, again, they are men. My personal aesthetic is likely closer to JeffB, but I have little doubt there would be detractors saying I look too feminine with some of my preferences.

So, back on topic, why do we choose the styles we choose?

I found myself liking a particular skirt and then trying to think up some rationale for choosing it. Now I have enough skirts to wear a different one every day for 3 months, many bought in the process of experimentation. Now I tend to be more pragmatic and ask (myself) "when and where would I wear this" and if the answer is "I don't know" or "probably never in reality but in my dreams", I usually resist the temptation......

I can certainly empathise there and, sometimes, resistance is futile!

..... If we say that a skirt is too femme, is it what we really believe or is it what we think the interpretation of others may be. I suppose what I am asking is; are we choosing to ignore fashion at one level and behold to it at another.

Why one style, and not another? Because we are human.

I believe you are asking the same question as me; and reaching the same conclusion.

D.C.

(p.s. I hope some of that makes sense - mind wandering lonely as a cloud at the time of writing.)

[moonshadow]

Excellent discussion!

I think a lot of it has to do with personal preferences, why do some people like certain colors, certain styles of cars, certain foods, certain animals, etc? Perhaps it just comes down to how each our our lives have varied over the years.

I think part of the reason I like the skirts I like is just as Dennis said, it comes down to how I see myself wearing such things. Though I didn't live through the 60's movements, I see many images from that period, and the looks that stand out to me are the ones of the young women in the long flowing "flower power" skirts, full of vibrant colors.

People like that still exist today, it's a pretty popular style in New Age groups, the tree hugging, granola type people, of which I consider myself a part of to some extent. Though I admit, I don't eat a lot of granola, favoring Captain Crunch. Yes, I am that generation between the 60's hippies and the millennials.

I honestly don't know what I like the styles I like. I guess it's because they just make me feel free inside.

As you all very well know, feminine doesn't phase me at all... As it's my personal belief that what defines "feminine" and "masculine" as far as clothing go is completely arbitrary anyway, and I'm quite happy and yes, even an little proud to incorporate "feminine" into my style!

<--- I'm glad that emoticon is there! I think I'm the only one that uses it!

Maybe it's because virtually ever job I've ever had, has kept me in a VERY strict gender role, meanwhile I get to watch women wear whatever the hell they want any time, any place, and when I'm off I feel like I have to "even the score" a little and wear something extra flamboyant. OCD maybe? I don't know.

Maybe it's because I was teased pretty harshly as a child by those in my family for wearing ANYTHING that was remotely different.

I'm sure it has a lot to do with all of that combined. I'm sure I'd be a good case for a psychologist or two...! But I'll be damned if I'll let him charge me for the pleasure of figuring out what exactly goes on in the Moon Shadow head!

But regardless of all that.... I recall the saying "Remember, you're unique, just like everyone else!"

I'm proud to be the real deal, unlike everyone else!

If you're not getting butteries in your stomach being "you" in public, then you're not being you!

[GothScot]

Gotta be ankle-length. Liked how they look on females I've fancied so maybe there's something psychological there. Just like how the hemline feels grazing the ankles/back of the knees if there's a walking vent. Actually, waist to ankles, the full effect just washes over me.

Tried going with a mini once and it just felt like I had to keep tugging at the hem for fear I was showing the full English breakfast to the world. Feel like I have tree trunks for legs, too, even though the ex said I had nice ones.

[Uncle Al]

For me, it's knee length or a bit longer. When I sit down, I want
to have enough material to protect my 'back-side' from hot/cold
seats. The material is the insulator.

My wife prefers below the knee on me. She thinks any higher is
to short on me. Since I can't bend at the knee(if I did, I couldn't
get back up), I bend at the waist to pick something up. She doesn't
want me showing anything to the world, color or no color

My rotundness is growing so lower hemlines are best to cover
the expanding globe.

Uncle Al

[Fred in Skirts]

Since I can't bend at the knee(if I did, I couldn't get back up), I bend at the waist to pick something up. My rotundness is growing so lower hemlines are best to cover the expanding globe. Uncle Al

With the arthritis In my knees and lower back it is very hard to bend over and like you I must bend at the waist. Most all of my skirts are knee length or lower to keep showing off the unders.

If I am forced to get down on my knees I need the help of a very strong man (or two) to lift the tonnage back to the upright position.

[Kilty]

Pencil skirts have always looked good on women... and on me! JeffB's first skirted outings, listed here somewhere made me venture out in denim pencil skirts, after years of corporate women's skirts / skirt suits. The snug fit that helps you keep knees together or cross your legs, the slit at the back (years ago I had a gorgeous black pencil skirt with pink lining which could be seen as the vent moved as you walk, thought it was a nice contrast) but I found kilts expensive, hard to manage with pleats, and realised denim skirts looked so similar to men's denim shorts there was nothing to fear on early walks

Anything floral, flippy, frilled I obviously avoid, but I guess men's clothes are generally hard wearing, I think straight skirts have that boxy, masculine look to them which I like

[Big and Bashful]

Oh Ey? I posted a reply here hours ago, but it has got lost somewhere.
The gist was: For use in public I like knee length to ankle or floor length, with pockets and belt loops. No slits, no patterns, a preference for denim or khaki fabrics. Basically a one legged equivalent to a pair of jeans. I mostly do ankle length, again, one legged jeans equivalent. I have never been a fan of shorts, same goes for short skirts, apart from the difficulty of finding knee length skirts without slits. I tend to prefer skirts without much flair, just enough to allow normal movement.
For use out of public view, anything goes fabric wise, but still don't feel comfortable with anything much above the knee.

[john62]

For me either knee length or ankle, I dislike mid calf length and I prefer solid colour and no patterns, why?, no idea.

John