How do you become skirt wearing

[NH Dan]

As mentioned in my introduction, I am new here, trying to figure out the lay-of-the-land so to speak or, how to navigate this site. Another thing about me is that I am an observer (voyeur) of life and always trying to figure out why one does what they do. I am that person that will sit in a park or mall (clothed) and try to figure people out. When I am driving to an out of the way nudist gathering I imagine that mostly everyone on the road with me is going to the same place but that is never the case.
Okay, I am taking too long getting to the point. Again as I mentioned in my introduction, I have been doing a lot of sole searching recently and this site is tying it all together-what took me soo long. I couldn't figure out if I was a CD or bisexual or just to feminine because I like to wear skirts. Well, I just like to wear skirts and I still enjoy the beauty of women and can now admire or desire their skirts even more. So how did everybody else come to realize that they just liked to wear skirts ?
I can go on and on how during my life I have been accused of being gay or feminite and now I am starting to understand why people would think this. Many stories but I will try to stick to the question for today.

[crfriend]

I have been doing a lot of sole searching recently and this site is tying it all together-what took me soo long. I couldn't figure out if I was a CD or bisexual or just to feminine because I like to wear skirts. Well, I just like to wear skirts and I still enjoy the beauty of women and can now admire or desire their skirts even more. So how did everybody else come to realize that they just liked to wear skirts ?

"Sole-searching"? Did you step in something, or has a flatfish gone missing? (Sorry about that. I have a thing for plays on words.)

I'm about as comfortable in my own skin as is possible, have always identified as thoroughly male, but have been curious about skirts and other "nice" things roughly since my active memory begins. I enjoyed the usual "boy things" as a child, then the usual "young male" things as an adolescent, and generally have enjoyed the way my career and life have evolved as an adult man (which, according to Sapphire, took me about 45 years to reach). During that time, however, the notion of alternative attire for guys lurked in the wings, always begging for an explanation, and an explanation beyond, "It's 'convention'" never surfaced.

Eventually, I said, "The heck with convention" and made my first skirt -- which opened an entire new way to express myself. I'm the same bloke, just one now with a wider range of personal expression. Sapphire spent the obligatory 15 seconds worrying whether I was going to "change over" and dismissed it quickly. What she got out of it was a guy who actually began to care what he looked like, and that was a big "win" for her. The "win" for me is an expanded palette and the knowledge that it is possible to buck "convention" and still be a relevant force in the world.

[Taj]

Welcome to SC. Finding oneself is a lifelong journey. Society wants to shove us in convenient pigeonholes. This doesn't take a great deal of mental energy. To some it feels like a safer option than the risk of getting involved enough to know someone. Our self identity normally fits between extremes, not definable in black and white terms. Carl Jung observed that people possess both gender qualities. Some are better aware of their qualities, thus are more comfortable with them. Wearing skirts doesn't define your gender preferences, but our social training helps us feel the same way we are taught to see roles. Skirts are deemed feminine so we may feel feminine wearing one due to conditioning. That's all a bit deep but I hope to have shared some light.

I started wearing kilts as a comfortable alternative while hiking. Mountain Hardwear has made a good one for that. I'll wear Utilikilts around the neighborhood, to the hardware store, and on other errands in the summer. They are far more comfortable than jeans. I can't get used to suburbia so they will have to get used to me.

[dillon]

I more or less gave up trying to understand what compels me to exeriment with my wardrobe. I have always had atypical tastes, and a real interest in women and their ways. I suppose my fashion sense could be simply misdirected sexual attraction, but it would likely take years of expensive analysis to nail down the root of my fascination. It really doesn't matter why. I love my life and my explorations. All that could make it better would be if my wife and kids could treat it a bit more casually, and understand that my life priorities are not changing just because my wardrobe may be.

[partlyscot]

I used to identify as a crossdresser. I even told my soon to be GF that I was. Since then, I've come to realise that I don't think of myself that way any more. I had been interested in trying to go out dressed as a woman, because that was the only way I could visualise myself putting such clothing on in public.

Now, while I might try to "dress up" for Halloween or similar, just for a giggle, I have very little interest in it from the point of view of doing so to wear what I want, which is skirts and stockings. I've found that skirts fit me, in all ways. The way they hang from my hips, without needing to use a tight belt the way pants do, the way that they don't constrict my hip region, the way they show off my legs. I like the sensation of the fabric against my legs, so much a gentler sensation than even the most lightweight pants. Stockings, or to be more specific, thigh highs, (because I haven't yet got hold of a good garter belt that looks like I want, and promises to be comfortable) they offer extra warmth, when needed, I like the way they feel snug around my legs, but again, without that constriction around the crotch. I also like the way they improve the look of my legs, helping to enhance the definition in muscle, and hide skin blemishes. I am constantly on the look out for good quality opaque legwear, but it's damned hard to find in my sizes. I have spent a fair bit of late experimenting with colours, fit, and styles, it's been quite a liberating time. I feel like I've been given permission to see how I can change my look, and the way I feel about that look. Nonsense of course, I always had that freedom, but I had been constrained by social conditioning to think that it wasn't available...to a man.

When I told my soon to be GF about my supposed CD nature, she didn't blink an eye, just accepted it and got on with our previous conversation. Since then, wearing what I want around her, and surprisingly few, (but very enlightening) conversations later, she is still just as cool about what I'm wearing now. (Skirt with male sweater) I wear whatever legwear I want, though she has been critical of some of my colour combinations.

Part of these clothing choices is a statement about what it means to be a man, or woman, what defines masculinity or femininity. I've always been a little out of step with "typical" male behaviour and attitudes, and like others here, have questioned my male status. No longer, I'm just as male as any macho a**hole, and probably more of a man than most of them.

[couyalair]

I suppose it is because I had been wearing Scottish kilts for years that when I started wearing skirts I never felt it as womanly or cross dressing or whatever you may wish to call it. I felt self-conscious, yes, but not deviant, or any of the other words people (inc members of the forum) use in connexion with skirts worn by men. If there were any questions on my mind, it was rather Will people laugh at me, refuse to talk to me, etc, but not Do I look like a woman, or gay, or just plain stupid?
Now these questions no longer bother me, so I go out and about quite happily, not worrying about who I am or what I am or anything else.
Martin

[melsav]

I never really thought about wearing skirts until a couple of months ago. I was looking through web site about hiking and read a couple articals about guys wearing kilts to hike in and found them interesting. Then i started looking at buying a kilt and came across skirtcafe, read all the postes about wearing skirts and that got me thinking I should wear skirts, first I used a norrow gym towel wraped arround me and last weekend I went and bought my first denim mini skirt, the more I wear it the more comfortable I am wearing it and am now confinced that all men should wear skirts.

[skirtingtoday]

With me it was a very gradual awakening process over decades, so I hope I don’t bore you all.

Being a teenager in the late 60’s and early 70’s, at the height (so to speak) of the Mary Quant’s mini and micro-skirt revolution, the girls at school (including my sister), always seemed to wear the shortest ones they could find which I liked a lot! I did even occasionally try wearing a few of them in secret at home when no-one else was in, but never had a thought about wearing them outside. (My sister and I were both very similar in size). I must admit I did like wearing them even with my hairy legs.

Roll on many, many years later; when I was around 50 years old, I had an opportunity to go to a ceilidh so I hired a kilt for the evening. That was my first time outside the house in any form of skirted garment. I stopped at an ATM for some cash and a lady (who stepped up behind me in line) completely out of the blue, said I looked marvellous and asked what the tartan was and where I was going. That gave me a real lift as I (even for a Scot) was rather self-conscious about the skirted garment I was wearing.

For the following year, I had bought my own kilt and that too went down well at the that and subsequent ceilidh’s and I also started wearing it at Xmas time for the office “lunches” and for the traditional family gatherings at Xmas and also for a couple of weddings. All of these went down well but even then, I did not think about myself and “real” skirts in the same breath.

Our son was at University and they have “themed” bops to go to one of which is an LGBT night that lasts through till the morning. At one of these (he showed us afterwards) he wore a leopard print top and a black, very short, faux-leather miniskirt! He also had on makeup which was applied by some of the girls in the same block as him. On a later similar night, he bought himself an equally short pink, black and white miniskirt covered in sequins and also wore pink glittery tights.

I think it was then I thought about possibly getting an actual skirt for myself and testing out the water (albeit not at any themed party or fancy dress or Halloween night). My first purchase was a denim miniskirt about 14” long which was through e-bay. I looked on the internet, and found a few sites that had many other kindred spirits, many of whom who had already started wearing skirts in public. I did not wish to be a transvestite and “go the whole hog” to try to pass as a woman (still don’t) so I looked in on but skipped those sites as it wasn’t me. I eventually joined one such forum after lurking in the background there for a while.

To be honest, that was not a pleasant experience – I don’t wish to discuss that further – and I was barred from the site! I didn’t let it deter me from skirt wearing though and I bought a few more skirts (generally from e-bay as it was anonymous). I did comment back to some of the sellers that their skirt was now worn by a man and everyone who replied was thumbs up and made comments like “Good for you” which all helped restore a bit of confidence. I have since bought a few skirts in High St (M&S and ASDA) stores but not yet tried them out in the store before buying – something to do in the future.

I also lurked around on this site but didn’t join it for a further couple of years (I joined up in 2011) until a chance comment of a completely unrelated site (on cycling) regarding one of the cyclists there had asked if anyone had spotted a guy wearing a denim miniskirt that morning (I knew it was me so I joined that site to acknowledge the fact). The conversation there went well with positive comments and a member from this site also chipped in and said I should join up here.

Unfortunately, my wife is not happy about my skirt-wearing so we have an agreement that we don’t talk about it so any time I do wear a skirt in public, it is on my own. I am not even allowed to wear one at home after an argument where she didn’t even wish to stay in the same room as me. She is OK with my kilt and I have been out with her at family gatherings and at Oxford University on several occasions. However, she doesn’t want the kilt to be worn on more casual occasions as I have had comments such as “What are the wearing THAT for?” when I decided to wear it one Hogmanay evening in the house with just the two of us waiting for the bells.

I am one of those people who think that there is nothing wrong in men wearing skirts, just different from the societal norm that we men are “trapped” in. And I am certainly not gay nor consider myself to be a cross-dresser or a transvestite. I enjoy the comfort and feeedom whilst wearing a skirt especially the shorter mini-skirt lengths and am still a "bloke"

[Jack Williams]

You said it all melsav. "...the more I wear it the more comfotable I am wearing it and am now convinced that all men should wear skirts."
Well said man. I couldn't have put it better. Very soon one forgets there is anything else to compliment the bod. Certainly the best look on the human form, male or female.
Thinks.. when did I start wearing skirts?
I guess in these parts lava-lavas are a pretty "safe" sort of male wrap-around skirt, and I had been wearing those around the property for quite some time so gravitating to "proper" skirts to wear further afield was an easy step. Yep, denim is certainly the most easily accepted skirt on a bloke and I got a couple of them, one waist high, and another brand more down on the hips. That's the best male style to my eyes, but I passed the waist-high one on to another male friend who took a liking to the idea of skirt wearing. I just then started getting more skirts, mainly from mail order catalogues. The marvellous thing about skirts is the great variety there is in them. A lot of blokes on this site are certainly a lot more adventurous than I am in that regard!

[NH Dan]

Thank-you all for your comments. So far my skirts consists of 4 that were my wifes and 3 that I have purchased for myself. My wife did get me one for a Christmas present but it was too big. I am finding that LL Bean, an outdoors retailer has nice styles that fit well and their outlet has tremendous bargains. One consequence is that my wife and I are pretty close to the same size and one skirt that I bought for myself was claimed by her.

[skirtedbrit]

With me it was groin surgery some 7/8 years ago with extreme post op pain lasting 2 months. No matter how I sat the constriction of trousers made the constant pain worse so I got a skirt and dress off eBay. Although this did not stop the pain, especially when I peed, the lack of pressure did help enormously and as I became used to skirt and dress I decided to not to wear trousers unless necessary. My wonderful wife agrees with me and is very supportive. Women can wear what they want why cant men? A skirt makes sense as trousers come to a sharp apex in the most sensitive part of the male anatomy. Its a piece of fabric, so what!
At first I was very self concious and would only wear skirts away from the windows, not tell anyone and generally be frightened of my own shadow. Gradually I gained confidence and now neighbours, friends and family know and either approve or don't care. The rational and intelligent arguments on Skirtcafe have been a great help and I want to thank you all.
But, it goes deeper. I had a troubled childhood with all sorts of bad things happening including severe health problems. To say I was frightened of my own shadow would be a great understatement and lead to a pathological shyness, extreme lack of self confidence and low self esteem. Even at the age of 65 I feel the echoes of childhood and reflect on my life long battle to overcome or at least come to terms with my demons. I think I have been largely successful and can put this down to 3 things.
Firstly, my love of the outdoors. This was a push/pull effect, I had a strong innate love of the natural world and a strong desire to explore, this was also an escape from my problems. I went on to walk and climb mountains all over Britain, Ireland, the Alps and especially Scandinavia. I spent 18 years in a volunteer mountain rescue team and all of these activities boosted my self confidence and helped my health.
Secondly, going to University in my forties was as great a boost as mountaineering. I found I could hold my own both with bright young things and the staff some of which were experts in their field. During the later stages of my degree and post degree research and I became accepted and sought out for for my inputs of intellect and ability to lead students. I found the whole experience mindblowing, especially as most people in my childhood told me how stupid and worthless I was. I even was chucked out of school at 15 for being stupid.
Thirdly, wearing a skirt has boosted my self confidence enormously. I dont care what people think, if they have a problem with a man in a skirt then it is their problem because I am truly happy and don't have a problem. Weather permitting I do what I want in skirt and have never had a problem. Problems are for the narrow minded and wetnecks (same as rednecks but we get a lot of rain in Britain!).
Thank you all on Skirtcafe for your rational and intelligent inputs, they have been of great help to my happiness.

[jolt_34500]

Been a long time since I've posted anything on this forum, but I started wearing a skirt sometime around the age of 12 if I can rermember. For me it started off trying on one and finding those to be more comfortable then anything I had. My problem at the time til just a few years ago was having to hide it as boy in skirt cannot be caught. Yes I did the usual stuff boys would do, hunt, fish, etc. Today, I have a few different skirts that I wear while working around the house. A couple of longer heavier ones for winter as it does get pretty cold in NH. For me now is if my wife can have the option of pants or shorts, then why can't I have the option of a skirt?

[crfriend]

For me now is if my wife can have the option of pants or shorts, then why can't I have the option of a skirt?

You do have the option of a skirt, you just need to assert it.

I'll not be so naïve as to say you won't pick up some grief for it, but formulate a cogent argument in favour of your garment of choice and stick to it. Yes, it takes guts -- especially the first time you venture out into the world outside, but the sky won't fall down and most folks won't really care; they have more pressing matters to worry about.

Go for it.

[jolt_34500]

Thanks, no that is what I mean is I do have that option. Though last summer is when I finally went out and about, but I chose a kilt. At first my wife asked if I was going to wear it or change into some shorts and I said no, I'll wear the kilt then went to the market, no reaction. So that broke the ice for me.

[NH Dan]

Well Jolt, since we live in the same state and a bygone at that, we should have a joint outing some day, if only to give myself a little incouragement. I need to put together a proper outfit first.