Story about Ironton, OH where crossdressing is illegal

[JRMILLER]

I posted the following story on Atrium in response to an article about silly laws. Ironton, OH has a law against crossdressing, so I wrote this little fictional account based on a collection of some of my previous experiences. I hope you enjoy it!

Ironton, OH, "The Gateway to Southern Ohio" is very southern but backward in nature. On Spring break from school (KSU) in 1975, I was driving along the US 52 which borders the Ohio river. I was on my own just taking a week away from school, touring in my old '69 Pontiac Catalina. I had clothing in the trunk and my plants in the back seat (it was the only way I could keep the plants watered since everyone at school had cleared out for the break too).

So, picture this, long hair, hippy-like college kid cruising the highways through Southern Ohio dressed in a pair of coveralls and plaid shirt. Tall plants sticking up over the seat in the back (none were illegal). The only thing odd about the my attire were the coveralls, I had worn them so much that the legs ripped right up the seams. Instead of sewing them back as coveralls, I decided to sew them together like a skirt or what is called a "skirtall" today.

It was late and I needed a place to crash for the night, so I stopped a motel called "The Dreamland Motel", it sounded like a good possibility. It was a typical "strip" style motel with the office in the center, all one story, doors leading to the parking lot. Not too much unlike the Bates motel, except the color was pink in this case.

I parked just outside the office and walked in, it was pretty late and dark. There was about a 400 lb guy sitting behind the counter on the inside, he didn't get up initially (who could blame him). Anyway, when I told him I wanted a room, he finally got up and told me with a pretty deep Appalachian drawl, the cost ($30) and pushed the register at me. Then I could see him looking me up and down and checking me out. He took my money and told me to wait here and went into a little room in the back. I proceeded to fill out the register. He came back after a few minutes and proceeded to lecture me on what a fine, Christian town Ironton was and how they didn't want any "undesirables" here. During his rant, a deputy car pulled up and a fat cop got out of the car, his name was Tommy Rush (I will never forget his name!). He was the typical red-necked looking cop, short reddish hair, about 100 lbs overweight, his stomach budging against the inside of a too small shirt, wide brimmed Smokey hat pulled down over a sweaty forehead!

He comes into the office and demands to see my driver's license (I wasn't driving at the time!). Then he says something like "what's that yer wearing, boy?". I told him and he says trans-vesty (his emphasis was on the second syllable) is illegal in these parts. I asked him what was trans-vesty? He then asked me if I was trying to be smart. I said no, I didn't know. Then he told me I was violating the city ordinance by wearing a dress and that my hair was too long for a man! Egad! Who were these people!

So we argued for another 5 mins or so and he finally said I could either leave the city now (late, I am tired), or come into his office where we would "discuss it further". I didn't know what his game was, so I chose to leave town. He and a couple other cops escorted me to my car, then out of town. I didn't get my $30 bucks back and my name is probably still on some register back in that town. They told me if they ever saw me in town again, I would be arrested and charged with trans-vesty if I ever returned.

So, beware of Southern Ohio if you are dressed! You know, the Mothman is in nearby Point Pleasant -- what is it with these yokels?

©Copyright 2008, John R. Miller

[Sarongman]

I've got a feeling that the late Alfred Hitchcock, or the not so late Stephen King, could do something with that creepy town! Albeit, a fictional experience but, from factual encounters, this was well written. Have you ever thought of writing the horror genre as a hobby? It could get a sinister twist without much tweaking

[JRMILLER]

Thanks, I do in fact write for fun. After I posted this I thought of another ending, the one where I go to the sheriff's office instead of leaving town. Visions of the movie "Deliverance" went through my mind. I have to believe this has actually happened -- somewhere! This particular town really does have this ordinance and from my real travels in Southern Ohio, it's not much of a departure from reality!