Physical Violence?

[JRMILLER]

During any of your outings dressed in a skirt or other non-traditional western culturally defined "male-garb", have you ever been a victim of a violent act, or felt threatened?

Please tell us your experiences.

[MtnBiker]

During any of your outings dressed in a skirt or other non-traditional western culturally defined "male-garb", have you ever been a victim of a violent act, or felt threatened?

Please tell us your experiences.

Gosh NO! Only the opposite!

[Bob]

I was once called a word commonly used to express homophobic violence in the USA, also used to refer to a particular tobacco product in the UK.

Anyway... all I was wearing "out of the socially expected" was a blue headband to keep my hair out of my eyes. I was walking my dog. This guy had other issues: basically, he didn't like the fact that I was requesting that he keep his dog away from me and my dog. He ended up assaulting me. I decided I won't press charges, as long as he never does a repeat job. Leftover hippie...

But my experience in general is overwhelmingly the opposite. Adults either ignore a skirt or inquire nicely about it or give a complement. Kids sometimes ask rude questions or stare because they don't know any better. At least they're honest questions. I answer their questions nicely, and they very quickly get used to the idea.

But some kids have ill-mannered parents. This isn't quite related to skirts, but: once I caught some girls peeping through the keyhole in the boy's/men's dressing room at the ballet studio. I told them not to do it, right in front of their parents, as I went in the room. I was astounded that their parents did nothing --- no scolding, no telling them to have better manners --- nothing.

[Since1982]

Bob, just because some people have the physical ability to create children definitely does not automatically make them smart. IN FACT, in my opinion, the intelligence quota seems to decrease in giant leaps depending on how MANY children they have. Case in point, in Africa, India, Pakistan and other so called 3rd world countries, where the United Way and other charitible groups give lots of money and food and other helpful things to people that have upwards of 12 children each family, an entire cottage industry has been created that could be defined as the "Baby Factory" business. Personally, I'd like to see most of the "baby makers" have their children taken from them because most of the children die as soon as their parents are paid. I think their parents should be imprisoned for murder when the children die just as if the parents had shot them. Dead is dead.

Because I donate to various charities, I get hustles all the time to pay so much a month to support this child or that child. I WOULD GLADLY PAY to charity. However, what I want, is for the "Baby makers" to have whatever operations that are neccessary to stop them from ever having more children. For THAT, I'll gladly donate to charity.

[iain]

For the record, we sponsor a beautiful little boy in Africa who lives in a very poor village; I believe he has one sister. I don't think large families are the norm in third world countries. His village now has a water pump thanks to charitable donations. I hope my kids can meet him one day. I've travelled through India and there are indeed families there whose occupation is to be beggars. But the alternative is to starve. It's not a case of being too lazy to get off the sofa. They live and sleep under the giant advertising hoardings.

I see in the UK and America, mothers as young as 15 and 16 are squeezing the system to get welfare, and not much thought is given to the welfare of the children. I saw quite a few families on the housing estates in Wembley where I used to live operating in this way. Another baby meant another x much per week.

In the west, if we're going to flaunt our wealth and launch space probes at a cost of billions and billions of dollars, to satisfy our curiosity, or launch wars at a cost of hundreds of billions of dollars to protect our oil, while two thirds of the planet does not have adequate fresh water, I think we can expect some people to try and play the system. We can also expect a lot of simmering anger from parents of children who die of malnutrition. I don't think it's unfair to ask people in the west to help as far as possible in sponsorship.

But in my experience, most people in the 3rd world are honest, and are simply suffering because we care more about our missiles and mansions and our magnificent SUVs than we do about them. Millions have been made homeless in the Sudan and the west has done exactly nothing about it. We're hoping nobody will pull the mask of pretence off our face and expose us for what we really are.

Let's not be too hard on the third world. Let's face it, if they got no oil, we're really not interested.

[JRMILLER]

Guys,
I really would like your thoughts on this topic.

If nothing untoward has happened, then that's great -- please tell us about your good experiences.

My wife is very concerned about the reception I will get "out there" and I would like to give her a good view of things ahead of time.

[iain]

My experiences have been great! Honestly, those days have stood out as being really different. You'll be nervous of course, because of all the extra thinking that goes on in your head beforehand. But people are usually curious and you can tell they've thought about the same thing. Can there be any guy, anywhere, who hasn't at one time wondered what it would be like to wear a skirt for one reason or another?

Women are very intrigued and they are not shy about saying so. It will really present the world in a whole new way, one that you're not used to! Considering that out of any group, some will be against any topic or viewpoint under the sun, the wearing of a skirt, and especially a kilt, is almost universally approved of by other people.

Being naturally shy I still find that some days I don't want to be the centre of attention, but that is nothing to do with other people. Try it and give us your experiences!

[crfriend]

If nothing untoward has happened, then that's great -- please tell us about your good experiences.

Well, virtually all of my experiences have either been positive or neutral. But, to dovetail with the original poster's worry, I'll hit my most negative experiences first.

Once in a while one will run into somebody who decides that he doesn't like you (or what you're wearing), but that speaks vastly more to the individual making the advance than it does you. This has happened to me precisely once, at a local filling (petrol) station, and the potential situation (if there really was one) was quickly neutralised by non-threatening, friendly even, comments from both the attendant and myself to the (seemingly a bit inebriated) chap in question. I suspect that unless you live in a really "tough" neck of the woods physical violence just isn't in the cards; the authorities tend to frown on it, and generally speaking if two or more males get involved in a brawl it's likely trips to hospital for all involved and this tends to keep adult bullies somewhat in line. Usually what one will receive is just a blast of wind, occasionally laced with expletive. This, too, speaks more to the issuer than the target of his spleen. I've gotten a couple of snide remarks made about my mode of attire, usually by young men in a group, and the best course I've found is to either ignore them or hint that the perpetrator of the wise-cracks is jealous because he's "not allowed to wear such things and he'd like to"; the second requires a good deal of confidence, bravado even, to pull off, but the results are usually hilarious - for everybody involved if there's more than a smattering of intelligence on the part of the antagonist's crowd.

Now, on to the positive. Of all the comments I've picked up over the past few years when skirted, virtually all of them have been positive. They tend to either focus on how confident and comfortable I look, or that the look itself is good. In these cases, skirt-wearing can really be an ice-breaker and can get one into conversations that would otherwise never happen -- and I view that as a good thing. When I wore a skirt for Halloween at work, I had several of the women managers come 'round to take a look (mainly because they'd been told that they "had to"), and, just about to a one, once getting over the initial shock, mentioned that it actually looked pretty good. I've picked up more comments at my local pub than I can shake a stick at, and the overwhelming majority of those have been positive. My public image at my computer-history concern in Providence has been skirted for about two years now, and the only comments that have happened have all been positive (or inquisitive) as well, my favourite being from a young woman who commented that, "You are one snazzy dresser!"

My friends were, for the most part, a bit of a "tough sell", but once they realised that they were not going to get a rise out of me from the guff they had on offer, things quieted down quite quickly and now there's acceptance all 'round.

Finally, I have to finish this missive off with the caveat that, "Your mileage may vary." I likely travel in different circles than most here; at 6-foot-plus, I present an imposing target; and I have a lively command of the language which I don't hesitate to use where ridicule is required. These facets may somewhat immunise me from the worst of the potential abuse, but I have never really felt "put upon". In short, the demons have been in my head all along!

[Bri]

On the idea of professionalism and anti violence (which I'm a big fan of). Has anyone ever talked to any police about what their ideas, or how they would deal with a guy in a skirt?

As in you get pulled over for a simple moving/traffic violation and they just happen to notice that you're wearing some kind of skirt (mini, knee length, or long).

[AMM]

Has anyone ever talked to any police about what their ideas, or how they would deal with a guy in a skirt?

As in you get pulled over for a simple moving/traffic violation and they just happen to notice that you're wearing some kind of skirt (mini, knee length, or long).

This comes up a lot on Crossdressers.com, where it's more than just a "man in a skirt." According to the folks there, the police have seen it all and don't bat an eye. Same goes for medical personnel, and most anyone who deals with the general public on a regular basis.

Orthodox Crossdressers have the additional issue of looking like they are not who the driver's license is issued to. , but the police seem to be able to deal with it if the crossdresser is open and honest (and not defensive) about what is going on.

Bottom line: don't make your skirt a problem for the cop, and the cop won't make it one for you.

[Bri]

I was kind of thinking that same thing like most of skirting, if you make it known that you're not comfortable, or uneasy or unsure. It will come across to others as that, but if you get pulled over and they talk to you, maybe mention the skirt, and you say well I felt like wearing it. They'll probably not care. I'm imagining as you said that they probably see all types of people, personalities, and clothing and as long as you're being respectful and nice to them, it's just another person to deal with.

Police (from what websites I've read in just learning what it takes to become one) have to go through several parts of training to determine if they're psychologically able to handle different situations and difficult situations under stress.

[Raakone]

Never violence, although one time I may have come close. I was walking to a bar in a sarong. Near the front door was a beggar, who asked for change. I denied his request. Then his buddy (there were two of them) said "hey, you're wearin' a skirt." I wasn't sure what to say, but they seemed inebriated. So I just walked away from them. Didn't want to see if they'd attack or not.
~Ra'akone

[Milfmog]

Over the two or three years I've been wearing skirts and kilts I have worn them pretty much everywhere I go, only work has stayed off limits (I'm pressing the dress code at present), though even there I've worn kilts when working out of hours (sort of "my time, my dress code").

In that time I've only ever experienced two slightly negative reactions. One was from a kid who shouted at me, she turned out to be the same kid who'd taken a verbal potshot at my son over my dress choices (full tale here and one from a colleague who reacted with a "what are you wearing?" and clearly was not comfortable at first but got over it after a half hour or so. In fact he took a picture on his mobile and sent it to his wife; her reply was "invite him for dinner"

Positive reactions such as this one are far more common; look through this forum and you'll find lots of people have published similar tales.

Have fun,


Ian.

[Peter v]

Guys,
I really would like your thoughts on this topic.

If nothing untoward has happened, then that's great -- please tell us about your good experiences.

My wife is very concerned about the reception I will get "out there" and I would like to give her a good view of things ahead of time.

My experiences over here in the Netherlands are all positive up to now. Of course, if you venture into certain neighbourhoods, yes, even here in "ideal land" over here, there may be a warm reception that you do not want. But in general there is only amazement at what the people see, and I very often get great positive comments, which are often followed up by constructive discussioins.

I must laugh inside very often when young children say to their parents, mostly their mothers, "mumma that man is wearing a skirt / women's shoes "( as I wear pumps all the time lately.) Fortunately the answer to that is often "he likes that " or some other "normal" answer, at least in my vicinity, making no issue of it, which of course there is no reason for, and by doing so, ensuring that those children don't unnessecarily grow up thinking it wrong or sick or whatever.

By the way, thinking that if we don't wear skirts, we can live a perfect life is a fantasy. Wearing a skirt does get some attention whereas otherwise you would not be noticed, but it is nice to be noticed once in a while...

Peter v.

[Bri]

I agree it's nice to be noticed. When I go walking through a mall here, I get some recognition as being a person in their store, but when I walk in with my dog, just about all the girls in the store almost flock to me like I'm a big thing of their fav. food. It's nice, but I almost want to say, what if I didn't have a dog? what would you do then?

But that kind of response might make them think this is some kind of experiment, which of course it's really not, well not like I'm actively trying to get attention by bringing in a dog. He just doesn't get out that much and taking him around a clean, warm building to get some running and walking in is always a good thing.

Also had an idea of wearing a skirt into a shop or something with the dog and waiting for someone to look at me oddly, and ask why I'm in a skirt. Then I'll happily tell them that this dog is my best friend so far, unconditionally cares about me and doesn't judge based on my appearance but what I'm like.