Themed Birthday party ideas

[boca]

The acceptence or lack thereof you get from other's is simply their opinion, and not necessarily something that is a direct reflection of who you are. However it is definitally true that their opinions obviously have a strong influence on yourself and your self-confidence, and this obviously has effected you.

First and formost, I would recommend you take some time and reaffirm how you honestly feel yourself about wearing unbifurcated garments, outside of the opinions of your wife, family, etc. Their opinions are important, but your feelings are incredibly sacred as well, especially since it is YOU who are making the decision about what kind of clothing you put on yourself. Remember: YOU are the one who dresses yourself in the morning, and you aren't a doll for your family to dress up as they please.

I would also highly suggest you talk directly with your wife honestly and openly about this issue. In doing so, ask her what specific concerns are point by point, and then talk to her about your honest feeling. You want to make sure you present your view firmly, but also gently and honestly. This may be hard if she has a strong opinion, but it needs to be done so that you can make your case and to let her know that you have a right to your expression of clothing. In making your case though, make sure to include that you do understand her concerns but her concerns need to be balanced with your own personal feelings and views.

One possible option you might try for evening wear is sleep shirts. They are quite comfortable from my experience and are unbifucated, so they won't be nearly as uncomfortable as jeans. They are sold in many male clothing catalogs/department stores, so any "feminine" arguement wouldn't hold water with them.

[Overtahill]

In july I will be turning 38, no big deal I know.

Anyway, she wants to have a themed dress up party. Come dressed as something that has the same first letter as your name. My name starts with C, some have already mentioned I could go as a cross dresser, I think not, It's not me, I actually dislike that description.

What do you think?

Hi Cams,
If I was you, I would go as a Celtic, and wear a Kilt. Go and rent one, and enjoy yourself!

Cheers,
Rick

[Cams]

Thanks for your comments.

Boca, We have spoken in depth about what you said, this happened last week. Was a pretty bad week with a few side issues. I know I want to wear skirts etc. A while ago I did more (experimenting I guess) found it wasn't me. I now find myself very happy wearing skirts, male for the rest. My wife is happy with me wearing what I like at home, but not out. Over time she has continually denied being with me out in a skirt, happened a few times though. Now I think it won't happen, she is happy for the party, being dress up anyway.

Maybe I am being stubborn, it is a good chance to show some of her family what I wear, just need to build up some confidence, but if anyone thinks I am there as a cross dresser then that will hurt.

Have been thinking cheerleader, which is obvious (carrying pom poms) and can be acheived with a pleated mini and male sports like top. It is winter in Aus, nightshirt would be cold.

Now where is that confidence.

Overtahill, I have thought of that, but for some reason I really don't like kilts, especially traditional ones. Celti would be easy too, I am 1/4 Irish (have I got my regions right)

Colin

[gshubert]

Cams, I'm sorry to hear of your distress. It worked well and was worth it for me to wear a kilt at first. It's a recognizably male garment, so avoids some gender issues. I got used to wearing it; my wife and I were both relieved that there were no adverse reactions from others. From there it was a short step to modern kilts (like Utilikilt), then denim and khaki knee-length skirts.

I agree with boca -- you're the one who knows your feelings and the one who has to live with them. Confidence can go both ways. When I feel good about myself and what I'm wearing, people can sense my confidence. When someone's reactions are negative (especially someone important to me), it's much harder to feel that good.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[binx]

Maybe I am being stubborn, it is a good chance to show some of her family what I wear, just need to build up some confidence, but if anyone thinks I am there as a cross dresser then that will hurt.
Colin

Here is what you would be, according to the Urban Dictionary:

freestyle, freestyler

A liberated way of dressing, as a guy, somewhat akin to the term "metrosexual"; many women have adopted a similar style, and have in fact been doing it for more than half a century, e.g. "mixing and matching", combining women's clothing and menswear into a "whole" look or fashion statement. NOT akin to crossdressing, where the goal is to "present" as a woman, but rather to wear whatever the guy's personal style is, regardless of the original gender intention of the manufacturer. Also, a guy into dressing "freestyle".

binx

[crfriend]

Here is what you would be, according to the Urban Dictionary:

That is an absolutely perfect definition of the term -- and the first time I've seen it put so elegantly.

I, too, am sorry for your distress. Cams -- It's needless and pointless. One day the time will come when men, as well as women, will be able to chck on whatever they wish, and as long as it covers all of the "naughty bits" (subject to regional definition) everything will be OK.

The comments about transvestites ("cross-dressers") must've been in a parallel thread, but there's precisely nothing I do that might even hint at "trying to pass"; it just can't be done. I suspect you're probably in the same boat; why it's worrying to your family needs some serious discussion with them. I'm fortunate enough to have a very understanding wife who looks at what I'm wearing from a coordination point of view, not a "believeability" (as in, "can he pass") view. If I botch the way that the ensemble goes together, I'll get some gentle advice; else, everything's OK.

We just got back from running errands and grabbing lunch; I'm wearing my black tiered skirt, a predominently black Hawaiian short with flowers and cars on it, and my normal black mens' loafers. I looked about as "fem" as an NFL linebacker. In short, I'm comfortable in this attire -- it does not change who I am, nor my sexuality, one whit. I am who I am, completely; one of me is quite enough, thank-you-very-much; I don't need another persona to look after!

[Cams]

Such a shame Freestyler doesn't start with a C. Think I might sit the wife down to have a read of your comments, makes me feel better Perhaps it will her.

[gshubert]

Your name starts with a "C". Can you go as yourself?

[boca]

Here's a couple of "C" adjective ideas:

How about going "Carte Blanche"?

yes its French, but it litterally means "blank check", and the definition is:

"Unrestricted power to act at one's own discretion; unconditional authority"

you could say that you basically wrote youself a blank check for what to wear


Or going Candid?. Definition: "Free from prejudice; impartial. Characterized by openness and sincerity of expression; unreservedly straightforward. Not posed or rehearsed."

[binx]

Confident and Comfortable also come to mind...:ninjajig:

binx

[Cams]

The decision has been made, and the costume arranged.


Cheerleader......

I'll see if I can get some pics and post them.

[Since1982]

Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr OUT!!!!! A Cheerleader outfit will definitely not get forgotten any time soon.

[binx]

Ditto, congrats on going for it....:cheer: !!!!!!!

binx

[Cams]

Well the party was last night and I went as a :cheer: leader. Mind you, I nearly didn't. My confidence has been lacking somewhat lately, which I conveyed to my wife, it may have actually helped. Will see how that goes.

No negative comments, and no "crossdesser" comments. I managed to chat with my bro-in-law without any issue, his 2 girls 4 and 6, said "why are you wearing a skirt? Boys don't wear skirts, only girls do" To them I replied it was because for the night I was a cheerleader, they did enjoy my pom poms. I don't consider that negative as well. They are young after all.

Cams

[Since1982]

As we all know, most children of both sexes are brainwashed from birth to believe that skirts/pants are for girls and ONLY pants/trousers are for boys. When the parents of the western nations start their children off with a "Anyone can wear anything" mindset, things will definitely change for the better.