Aspie Roll Call

[Peter v]

I believe I'm married to a light aspie. His verbal skills and intelligence keep us laughing and the social stuff comes along by rote well enough. So, any speculation where the skirt stuff comes in? I see it as part collection mania and also because aspies are used to doing their own thing. Social convention will never be as important as logic when deciding men can wear skirts. Wish everybody could be that reasonable! At the same time I think the Asperger's traits make it more difficult for him to wear skirts in public since he wants to fit in but has great difficulty reading body language so wouldn't easily gauge how others react to him in a skirt.

Don't forget thee is no one type of "Aspie" person, but people who have varying indications as to that type of behaviour.

It is easy to wear skirts in public, as long as YOU are content with the way you go out on the street.
Reading body language can be learnt to a certain degree. As long as "you" the wearer "behaves" in a correct manner, as is expected of all persons, then it is only of real importance to read danger. All other reactions will happen whether you can read them or not. I would expect that he can see the difference between amazement, first sight evaluation and agressiveness, possibly hatred.

When we go out skirted, WE should be the inconspicuous "THE MAN" self confident unperturbed by what is going on around us, just as we would do if we were just one of the crowd in pants.

But that is easy talking. I can't place myself in anybody elses situation.

[Departed Member]

Put bluntly, folk with Asperger's expect everyone else to fit in with them. Violent behaviour, especially verbal (or written!) is a dominant trait. Their viewpoint is the only viewpoint they accept. In an argument (which can get very fierce), an Asperger's person will often ask a dozen or so other folk, until one agrees with them, and then set out to berate the rest with this apparent 'self justification'. If 'bested' in a debate, they'll often brood for a day or so, before finding some way of making a 'retaliatory' attack, usually by 'twisting', or deliberately mis-quoting, something either said or written - hoping that other folk will have forgotten the original debate, and turn against the other person or persons. A thirst for 'revenge' can, however, take a more sinister turn, and lead to serious consequences.

[Skirt Chaser]

Merlin, I remember you have been through awful stuff with your family member who has Asperger's. What you have written now though is not a description of traits typically ascribed to Asperger's. For one I don't expect Bob to suddenly act like you have described.

For the benefit of people wondering what Asperger Syndrome is the site Wrong Planet authored by aspies themselves gives a good summary. http://www.wrongplanet.net/article112.html

[crfriend]

I worked for a while for an individual who's behaviour traits were precisely as Merlin lists, and I can say without hesitation that it was a living hell. Fortunately the company got wise to the destructive effect this individual was having on the professional and, in some cases personal, lives of everyone he interacted with and gently "put the squeeze" on him so he'd "seek opportunities elsewhere".

Most of the clinical signs were there -- in broad view for everybody to see (and suffer from) -- although most of us wrote it off to his being an immature and undeveloped a******. It's interesting to note that many of the traits and behaviours mimic those of "feral children" (children bereft of structured and disciplined upbringing). I sometimes wonder if there's a connection....

[Richard III]

Although no doctor has clinically diagnosed me as having Asperger's or any similar condition, the symptoms are a fairly good fit for my personality: I have difficulty coping with uncooperative people. I like tasks which engage the brain but not the emotions (e.g. mathematical problems). In a debate, I will readily concede if someone proves me wrong. It offends me when people are deceitful, e.g. if they misrepresent others or give fallacious arguments.

folk with Asperger's expect everyone else to fit in with them. Violent behaviour, especially verbal (or written!) is a dominant trait. Their viewpoint is the only viewpoint they accept. In an argument (which can get very fierce), an Asperger's person will often ask a dozen or so other folk, until one agrees with them, and then set out to berate the rest with this apparent 'self justification'. If 'bested' in a debate, they'll often brood for a day or so, before finding some way of making a 'retaliatory' attack, usually by 'twisting', or deliberately mis-quoting, something either said or written - hoping that other folk will have forgotten the original debate, and turn against the other person or persons.

I should add that I am not at all like the person described by merlin.

When it comes to my wearing a skirt, I have no difficulty gauging people's reaction: the louts shout it out for all around to hear.

[Departed Member]

Merlin, I remember you have been through awful stuff with your family member who has Asperger's. What you have written now though is not a description of traits typically ascribed to Asperger's. For one I don't expect Bob to suddenly act like you have described.

I'm sorry, perhaps I should have covered all aspects of Aspergers, rather than precis-ing those which were (probably) the most destructive. However, it is sometimes difficult to differentiate aspects of behaviour which overlap with OCD (or OCB, if you prefer) and ME. I've had a lot of recent dialogue on the topic (sparked by an initial interest whilst on Management courses over a decade ago) with both health care professionals, some of whom have since come into contact with said nephew (thanks for remembering, by the way!), and members of the legal fraternity. I've even had to turn down (hopefully temporarily) a lucrative position on health grounds, advising on these very conditions to County Court. The sad fact is that a fair number of folk are being sent down, rather than being referred for medical treatment on conviction, purely because solicitors (and judges, too!) are unaware of the effects of Asperger's in particular. The irony is (to stay within topic) that wearing a skirt, I could probably manage to attend Court on a limited basis, rather than in tr*users which continue to exacerbate my medical condition. Sod's Law, as we say in the UK!