AMM wrote:I've given myself a day or two to calm down, and have a few after-thoughts:
1. This is about what bothers me. Sapphire, and anybody else, can presumably speak for themselves.
2. I see stuff here and elsewhere that comes across to me as sexist all the time, and I never stop noticing it. I've been noticing all my life the way people treat whole segments of the human race as less than human, either because they've always done so and never thought about it, or because they just want to and know they can get away with it, but it's still like a little electric shock each time. And it alienates me a little each time.
It's like when I was growing up, and I'd hear the "n" word (the epithet used in the USA for black people.) Every time someone says it in a crowd, it jumps out at you, no matter what the context. You hear mumble mumble mumble mumble N----R mumble mumble. And I can't help thinking in a certain way about the person who says it, and the people who are listening and smiling and don't say anything, and the place that they hang out and feel comfortable enough to say it.
3. I've vowed a number of times to speak up when I see it, but it's hard -- you have to be willing to be seen as a professional pain in the you-know-what and to be willing to actually look at how much it bugs you, which is not fun. And it takes a lot of time and energy and focus to respond coherently, and most of the time, I don't have it.
"3. I've vowed a number of times to speak up when I see it, but it's hard -- you have to be willing to be seen as a professional pain in the you-know-what and to be willing to actually look at how much it bugs you, which is not fun. And it takes a lot of time and energy and focus to respond coherently, and most of the time, I don't have it."
This expresses the problem faced by many, and most don't dare take it up.
It is a heavy choice to make, to be "the pain in the ..." Or "the unpopular person" ( Popular with the people who don't tell anyone for fear of also being frouwned upon ) only because you are prepared to be just that by bringing up such things as anti social behaviour etc.
I know from first hand, because I brought up a anti social behaviour at work, and was literally hated, by some, because of it. So be it. I made the sacrifice. Better that than be silenced by the "wrong" do-ers. One good thing about it is that once you are the black sheep, you don't get blacker, any other issues can also be brought to attention, without any change in your situation. If you are already disliked by some, the culprits, for speaking your mind, rightjously, that just stays the same.
It is the fear of becomming a black sheep that may prevent you from doing / sayng what you feel is right. It is just the price you have to pay. And don't forget, to many people you are the hero, being one of the very few who dare take that step, while many others think the same as you do but keep wisely silent.
That is in some way like wearing a skirt in public. There may be some out there who frown on you, only some, but who cares? To give in to fear of the few who may not follow your way of thinking is really no real option.
PS only when there is a real threat, get the he.. out of there.... no skirt is worth that, nothing is worth that.
In the off chance that even collegues may not accept you in a skirt, it is their loss, you will find other real friends, even though they may do their daarndest to try to make you look the fool, or whatever, they are then the real fools, and it is your victory. You would in practice be a fool or whatever if you did not wear your skirt, as that is what you want to do.
Peter v.
A man is the same man in a pair of pants or a skirt. It is only the way people look at him that makes the difference.
) neither women nor men are aware of it. Well, some women are aware of it, but then the previous paragraph applies.
