Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men, formerly known as men in skirts. We do this in the context of men's fashion freedom --- an expansion of choices beyond those commonly available for men to include kilts, skirts and other garments. We recognize a diversity of styles our members feel comfortable wearing, and do not exclude any potential choices. Continuing dialog on gender is encouraged in the context of fashion freedom for men. See here for more details.
Wadar wrote: ↑Sun Dec 08, 2024 4:23 pm
I find the biggest hurdle to wearing skirts in public is the one in my head.
You will find that the biggest problem is in your own brain as you say. Once you realise that, you find things get so much easier. And as you say, wearing skirts often makes things easier.
Since covid, I have worn skirts everyday at work and play. I now just live in skirts and think nothing of it, but just enjoy the freedom of choice.
This "fear" in our heads is probably the most repeated 'excuse' most of us have had. In addition to just getting up the courage to go ahead and wear them; I think adapting an attitude of "owning" it -- going with as much confidence as you can muster, and not acting any differently than you would in pants is an important key. If you give off a sense of 'lurking", it registers -- but if you proceed with confidence "real or feigned" that will help ease the transition -- soon you'll will have absorbed confidence from the positive experience, seeing that folks just don't care what you wear.
Faldaguy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 09, 2024 4:59 am
"owning" it -- going with as much confidence as you can muster, and not acting any differently than you would in pants is an important key.
Faldaguy you are so right. I also love the phrase "going with as much confidence as you can muster" I have felt that so many times and pushed through. This is normally when I have pushed the boat out just that bit further.
My other comment is that nobody cares what you wear. I am amazed and some times disappointed when I meet someone new and what I am wearing never comes up in conversation.
Wadar wrote: ↑Sun Dec 08, 2024 4:23 pm
I find the biggest hurdle to wearing skirts in public is the one in my head. I have recently built up the courage and confidence to start wearing skirts out and about, but it takes a bit of mental gymnastics. I like the analogy of jumping out of a plane mentioned previously. I just have to say “Let’s do this thing” to myself and take the first step. I have kept this side of myself hidden and closeted for the better part of 40 years. So it’s taking a little bit of deprogramming to get comfortable in my skirt.
Welcome to the skirt world. There is so much conditioning to deprogram... and it can keep things interesting
I'm 40... been skirting for the last 6 years. Aside from enjoying wearing a towel wrap around the pool as a young kid, I'm not sure if I can call myself closeted between ages 7-34, because in that time my conditioning never really let me consider wearing skirts. So maybe I had it easy (something something... ignorance is bliss).
Wadar wrote: ↑Sun Dec 08, 2024 4:23 pm
I find the biggest hurdle to wearing skirts in public is the one in my head. I have recently built up the courage and confidence to start wearing skirts out and about, but it takes a bit of mental gymnastics. I like the analogy of jumping out of a plane mentioned previously. I just have to say “Let’s do this thing” to myself and take the first step.
Glad you liked my analogy. When I mentioned it was like jumping out a plane when I nearly had a panic attack before entering the world in a skirt I literally meant it as I was kind of getting a falling feeling when I ran out the door. Coming home that very day without any issues wearing a skirt in public was a brilliant liberating feeling and it made me really happy and has helped with my confidence issues in life.
So far I have had no issues being out in public in a skirt and tights and nobody bats an eyelid that is until this week when I had a couple of bigot narrow minded guys make silly comments about me while I was out shopping. A couple of guys walked past me and I overheard them saying “look half man half woman” then the following day I had a guy walk past me saying “you’re a man”. This is the first time I’ve had issues in the 7 months I’ve been wearing skirts and tights in public. Fortunately, there was no reaction from me as I just laughed it off and to be honest it didn’t really bother me and it didn’t put me off. Apart from those idiots I have had no problems from the public with wearing a skirt and it’s been great.
Noted a few times in this thread, the biggest hurdle is in the head. Fair point, will admit I suffered that in the initial stages until reality and experience cleared that.
I have a bald head. Do not hide my male name. If putting a skirt on makes me Gay or Trans in others eyes, one I will not change that perception, two they are not worth knowing if they have that conception of the true meaning.
This week I have been to social events, parties, out and about with no comment, or noticeable negativity. Today meet 48 stranges on a coach to do a tour of a historic house. Will get adhoc compliments but today many gave compliments on first sight to a point I had to say I get compliments but this is the biggest quantity in one session. In my early years I recall the odd reference to Gay, Trans, but not for a long long while and that was online, the single minded warriors hiding behind a keyboard. Of 6 direct challenges in the real world over 13 years, none said gay, trans, the worst was be a man.
People will have there perceptions in all walks of life, not just men in skirts. Be yourself, be confident, wear it and act sensibly and 99.9% are fine. I found the biggest contribution to dispel my fear was via my volunteering roles, meeting strangers face to face. All people will always have a minority who question in all walks of life.
Stu wrote: ↑Sun Dec 08, 2024 7:53 pm
My fear was never of being perceived as being gay or trans. My concern was being thought to be seriously weird.
Hey! See that guy is wearing ... a skirt!
Oh God yeah! What a weirdo. Stay away from him!
Be careful being concerned of being thought of being weird. I encountered rebuff, even being sensitive to object to being considered weird in a recent thread on this forum.
Wear skirt or a or a dress and some will think you are gay or trans. It can't be helped.
I think though most people see a man in a skirt and think nothing of it. Another poster here said wearing a skirt is fine, dressing up and going full fem, wig, makeup is whole different thing.
So wear what you want its fine, nobody minds. If one or two are idiots,.that's their problem.
Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Jan 09, 2025 9:43 pm
Wear skirt or a or a dress and some will think you are gay or trans. It can't be helped.
Heh, I started a list a little while back...
A man in a skirt MUST be gay, trans, opportunistic, fetishistic, weak, emasculated, weird, or insane—or maybe he's crossdressing, rebelling, or doing a lark
It definitely doesn't mean he simply likes skirts. Nope.
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