Dust wrote: ↑Tue Feb 14, 2023 11:30 pmcrfriend wrote: ↑Tue Feb 14, 2023 1:05 amI am hoping to be gone by then.
Please don't say that.
Why? Once we are born, each and every one of us will die. So far, there is no way to escape that destiny, and I am quite fine with that,.
Part of the issue is that I completely, absolutely, and indelibly detest what our modern culture has become. Long gone is the hope for a more vibrant and verdant world ahead of us, and all that is off the bow is nothing but despair, bankruptcy, and poverty for us. More damned wars over idiotic matters, more damned hardships for the common man, and nothing positive even remotely visible on the horizon.
Why should I soldier on in that sort of world when it contrasts so badly to the one I grew up in? Will my modern presence even be noted, other than the fact that once in a while I am more than happy to raise high the middle finger and speak truth to power -- and power absolutely
hates that. I am a dinosaur, and have no place in the modern world. What's the Hell is the point?
Now, before anybody draws the wrong conclusion, I am not about to "check out early" [1]. However, if something happens and takes me out I'm OK with that.
[1] Back in 2013, I was driven deeply suicidal by crimes committed against me. I did my best to hide that from my late ex- (although I highly suspect she was aware of the fact). In a revealing conversation with a (sadly passed) friend who was a clinical counsellor, I mentioned that quite possibly the only reason I survived was that I had trivial access to firearms and ammunition. The guy was astonished, but the explanation of why spoke volumes --
it relieved me of the worry about method and allowed me to focus on the larger picture. It took several minutes for him to actually process that, but in the end a comment came back to the effect of, "I can see that." Such is the way my mind works.