New boy on the block

[Skaterboy]

Greetings skirters! I have to say how refreshing the rules are for this site. I've been following a couple of pages on FB (Men in Skirts and Men for Skirts), and really disappointed how infected both of them are by transvestitism - I'm not trans-anything. Don't mind if you are - we're either tolerant or we're sending people to the gas chambers. Looking for some tolerance myself (I also like socks with sandals), so whatever floats your boat is fine by me (and my sexuality is none of your goddam business). But those many shades of trans-ness easily crowd out awareness for those of us seeking skirt-wearing as a distinctively male aesthetic. And I want to wear a skirt because I like the aesthetic. And besides, the skirt is the last bastion of inequality in gender politics, and every reason for men not wearing skirts seem a good reason for why they ought to.

About me, and my style points: Male, 6ft, 165 lbs, 60+, athletic. I epilate my legs, using cycling as an excuse, but again, I just like the aesthetic.
I like combat/cargo/denim skirts, below mid-thigh to knee-length - bare legs in summer, heavyweight or athletic tights in winter (some nice print styles out there), usually accessorized with thick socks and chunky boots as an overtly male flourish (accessories make the ensemble, right?) I've just ordered a slightly longer, asymmetric hem skirt as an experiment; and I've seen images of guys rocking slightly more flared styles I'd like to try. As a 'half-way house' I currently often wear shorts (same length as the skirts) with tights - I see people double-take sometimes, but they only wish they looked that good too

Looking for more style pointers from others on this site +1

[denimini]

Welcome Skaterboy, I am sure you will fit in here very well.
I am probably not one qualified for style pointers (to prove it: I think socks and sandals are OK), however there are plenty of members here who are.

[Faldaguy]

Welcome aboard, the more the merrier they say -- sometimes it works here on SC, sometimes we manage a few choice words but mostly you can pick and choose; glean quite a bit of useful stuff, and raise pretty much any topic and expect fairly calm and reasoned replies.

I, too, an "new" on the site and have found it more engaging than I expected in that the discussions usually are pretty tempered despite a wide range of views.

I'm afraid like Denimini I'm not a fashionista, socks and sandals are dictated by temperature and perhaps bugs for some walks! As I merely substituted skirts for pants a few years back, and my range of skirts cover pretty much everything, my wife still cringes at times with my failure to match shirt or occasion to the skirt -- but hey, isn't stepping out a bit just vogue for fashion?

You did not mention your location which more often than might be expected comes to bear in conversations or solicitation of advise that may be slanted by geography; so for what it is worth, you've now been greeted from Downunder (AU) and our version of 'outback'--Costa Rica. As we say here, Pura Vida,

[Rokje]

Welcome Skaterboy

I started out as a man in skirt but soon I knew that there was something more going on between my ears.

[Skaterboy]

Thank you for the welcomes @denimini, @Faldaguy and @Rokje

I'm based in Scotland - and you immediately think 'Great! You can wear a kilt!' But while the kilt is ok as a garment for some times, I have issues with it as the default, go-to, solution. Being pleated it's better for standing and dancing than it is for sitting - and I spend a lot of time sitting at a desk. Even in casual styles it's quite a formal garment. it's also pretty limiting about style, length, accessories, etc. Often you want something that's more relaxing - plain cotton/denim is ideal for that, or shorter, or just a different style. Besides all of which, the kilt is definitively a 'male' garment, so wearing one does absolutely nothing to advance the cause of general male-skirt-wearing acceptance.

I have to take the same issue with @Rokje. Your subscript makes it clear that you adopt a definitely 'feminine' style - even down to a traditionally feminine name. While I absolutely recognise that as a valid expression of identity, I think it's the complete opposite of trying to normalise the skirt as an expression of male identity. It may even be counter-productive as it tends to confirm the general perception that men who wear skirts have some kind of problem with their male gender identity. As my own confidence with skirt-wearing grows I find my initial doubts about gender identity actually decreasing and I'm more and more comfortable to wear a skirt without having to sacrifice any maleness/masculinity. I don't see myself adopting a female alter-persona any time soon!

[Faldaguy]

by Skaterboy » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:38 am

I'm based in Scotland - and you immediately think 'Great! You can wear a kilt!' But while the kilt is ok as a garment for some times, I have issues with it as the default, go-to, solution.... Besides all of which, the kilt is definitively a 'male' garment, so wearing one does absolutely nothing to advance the cause of general male-skirt-wearing acceptance.

I have to take the same issue with @Rokje. Your subscript makes it clear that you adopt a definitely 'feminine' style - even down to a traditionally feminine name. While I absolutely recognise that as a valid expression of identity, I think it's the complete opposite of trying to normalise the skirt as an expression of male identity. It may even be counter-productive as it tends to confirm the general perception that men who wear skirts have some kind of problem with their male gender identity. As my own confidence with skirt-wearing grows I find my initial doubts about gender identity actually decreasing and I'm more and more comfortable to wear a skirt without having to sacrifice any maleness/masculinity. I don't see myself adopting a female alter-persona any time soon!

Hola Skaterboy: You raise a couple issues here that may generate some 'feedback' -- we have quite a number of chaps strongly defensive of Kilts, and though I agree they are seen as a "male" garment, and therefore "acceptable" male wear --they do help keep folks cognizant of 'alternative' styles being OK for men, and I think that does help the rest of us MIS too.

As for the response to Rokje, you may not know enough of her background to appreciate all the implications of her comments. She had her time as a 'man' in a skirt; and came to know, correctly I believe, herself as female and still wearing her skirts as a female -- thus not really confusing anyone, but just a person who can rather thoroughly understand the issues from several perspectives and contributes as such to this community. As others have noted, we have a diverse community here -- yet all have a helpful role and things for us to learn. My apology upfront if I have misspoken or stepped out of line in this 'defense' of Rokje's comment, or yours -- I just want to emphasize there are many here and though we often do not agree, we can all gain some insights from pretty much all the comments if we listen carefully.

[Chirp]

Hi and Welcome

[Rokje]

by Skaterboy » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:38 am

I'm based in Scotland - and you immediately think 'Great! You can wear a kilt!' But while the kilt is ok as a garment for some times, I have issues with it as the default, go-to, solution.... Besides all of which, the kilt is definitively a 'male' garment, so wearing one does absolutely nothing to advance the cause of general male-skirt-wearing acceptance.

I have to take the same issue with @Rokje. Your subscript makes it clear that you adopt a definitely 'feminine' style - even down to a traditionally feminine name. While I absolutely recognise that as a valid expression of identity, I think it's the complete opposite of trying to normalise the skirt as an expression of male identity. It may even be counter-productive as it tends to confirm the general perception that men who wear skirts have some kind of problem with their male gender identity. As my own confidence with skirt-wearing grows I find my initial doubts about gender identity actually decreasing and I'm more and more comfortable to wear a skirt without having to sacrifice any maleness/masculinity. I don't see myself adopting a female alter-persona any time soon!

Hola Skaterboy: You raise a couple issues here that may generate some 'feedback' -- we have quite a number of chaps strongly defensive of Kilts, and though I agree they are seen as a "male" garment, and therefore "acceptable" male wear --they do help keep folks cognizant of 'alternative' styles being OK for men, and I think that does help the rest of us MIS too.

As for the response to Rokje, you may not know enough of her background to appreciate all the implications of her comments. She had her time as a 'man' in a skirt; and came to know, correctly I believe, herself as female and still wearing her skirts as a female -- thus not really confusing anyone, but just a person who can rather thoroughly understand the issues from several perspectives and contributes as such to this community. As others have noted, we have a diverse community here -- yet all have a helpful role and things for us to learn. My apology upfront if I have misspoken or stepped out of line in this 'defense' of Rokje's comment, or yours -- I just want to emphasize there are many here and though we often do not agree, we can all gain some insights from pretty much all the comments if we listen carefully.

Well said sir.

When I read about men in skirts it did something to me. It planted the seed to become what I'm today, a woman. At least my passport says I am.
Skirt wearing as a man was such a great feeling. My experience is that people do look, but they don't see very well. They go on with they're lives. I never had trouble, or bad things done to me when I was wearing a skirt in public. Some nice lady in Rotterdam asked me about my skirt wearing, and I told her that is was wonderful. We both smiled.
I just wanted to say, that wearing a skirt doesn't make you female, you're still a man. And you're not alone.

[Big and Bashful]

Hi, and Welcome!
Like you, I live in Scotland, I do own a couple of kilts but rarely use them, too heavy, too expensive to spill a drink on, too warm indoors, but by 'eck if I have to go to some sort of formal gathering or don't feel like wearing a skirt I do like to don the kilt. I think it was last worn at the Troon ale festival last year. When travelling or generally committing skirt in public I normally wear a denim cargo skirt, either knee length or ankle length dependant on the weather. I have a fair variety of skirts now and at home I have taken to several different skirts, skater skirts being a favourite, soft, loads of room to move but needing care in storms like we are getting just now! The lack of pockets is annoying though.
If Covid ever takes a back seat and if we get round to having another Scottish gathering, I hope you can make it!

[Skaterboy]

Thanks for the welcome @Big and Bashful!

To be absolutely clear about my earlier post, I intended no personal criticism of @Rokje. I tried to make it clear that a commitment to mutual tolerance underlies all my comments.

I believe my core point still stands. There is a profound and unchallenged taboo against men wearing skirts, with a presumption that it is inevitably in some way 'effeminite'. Many male skirt-wearers appear to embrace this perception, and adopt styles that express their femininity. I have no problem with this, but this does tend to confirm the prejudices of wider society. Men who wear skirts are labelled as 'transvestites', and their behaviour can thus be written off as irrelevant to the mainstream. My ambition is to define a distinctively male style of skirt-wearing that cannot be so easily written off, and is effective in challenging the continuing underlying inequality in gender politics.

Practically every day we read about people being abused, harrassed and assaulted because of their sex, gender, race, religion, appearance, or whatever is perceived as 'different'. The global trend is towards greater intolerance. It's time for us all to choose which side we are on.

[Skaterboy]

Oh, and thanks @Chirp too +1

[Spirou003]

Welcome in the cafe, Skaterboy

Even if I'm currently not wearing skirt outside anymore (too much rain, too cold, too much lockdown, too much darkness, too much brother with his dog, too much everything then ), I share your opinion about wearing skirt as a man, with no thought about feminity.

[crfriend]

First off, Welcome aboard Skaterboy.

There is a profound and unchallenged taboo against men wearing skirts, with a presumption that it is inevitably in some way 'effeminite'. Many male skirt-wearers appear to embrace this perception, and adopt styles that express their femininity. [...] My ambition is to define a distinctively male style of skirt-wearing that cannot be so easily written off, and is effective in challenging the continuing underlying inequality in gender politics.

[...] The global trend is towards greater intolerance. It's time for us all to choose which side we are on.

It's more than appearance alone; one's behaviour and demeanour play an enormous role in how others view and treat us -- more, ultimately, than what's "on the cover".

One thing that is key, is "be true to one's self" in what one does and how one goes about getting it done. People respect courage and integrity. If you're "trying to get in touch with your 'feminine side'", then so be it -- there's your answer and your driver. Let folks deal with it. In my case, I happen to like the skirt as a garment as I find them more comfortable than trousers, and much more "expressive" about how I may be feeling in ways that cannot be done with conventional male attire (what I term "drab") -- so there's my answer to the occasional query. It never fails to work, either, because it's genuine; in all other ways I am a fully-functioning hetero male -- who just happens to like the feel of "nice" fabrics and "pretty" clothing and I don't let it get in the way. If somebody cannot wrap their head around that then it's their problem and it speaks more to them than to me.

I think I'll riff off of Skirts Dad's latest purple rig and do one of my own. The world around here needs a little bit of colour now that we're descending into the pit that is winter in New England. Not to mention the general malaise that's come about with multiple simultaneous existential threats coming at us as a society.

[Grok]

My ambition is to define a distinctively male style of skirt-wearing that cannot be so easily written off, and is effective in challenging the continuing underlying inequality in gender politics.

Hello, Skaterboy.

Could you please elaborate about this style of skirt-wearing?

[Skaterboy]

Thank you @Spirou003, and thank you @crfriend, and thank you @Grok for your welcomes. Thank you

I absolutely agree with @crfriend that current fashions in male attire are utterly dull and devoid of style. All baggy polos, baggy-bum jeans, and nondescript trainers. There is a palpable fear of 'standing out'. Quite apart from skirt-wearing I try to dress in a slightly more edgy style. As I said earlier, I'm finding the tights and shorts combo working well, especially if you also think about key colour highlights (like matching colourful Coverse baseball boots with a neck buff). Where we part company is at your aspiration for "pretty". I don't think that's what I'm trying to achieve.

@Grok, I'm still working on creating the styles; but a good starting point is the kilt - that's as masculine AF, and girls are practically orgasmic just to see it! The challenge for me is to maintain that response while breaking free of the strict definitions of what counts as a kilt. The reaction I'm trying to provoke is not "transvetite", or "gay", but "hot guy". As I mentioned earlier, I think denim and cargo/utility style skirts are a good place to start, then matched with masculine/unisex accessories - boots, hoody, mens' jumper, etc.

I think this may be a slow journey. I ordered a utility kilt for everyday to 'soften up' my community to the sight of me in a skirt. Come next year's warmer weather I'll start probing the boundaries of what counts as a kilt. Meanwhile I'm just experimenting at home, and getting used to what it means and feels like to live in a skirt.