Hola from Ticolandia

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Faldaguy
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Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Faldaguy »

I am not sure why I joined; or why I am writing this bit...but was delighted to find the site that seems to focus on the simple common-sense of men wearing skirts as opposed to more outlandish explanations.

I stumbled into the skirt thing when my wife gave me a 'wrap-around' for the beach when in our 20's, but other than that or a quick cover-up somewhere, I failed to see the bigger, better picture for a long time. It was not until about 4 years ago at a Women's March I attended in support, wearing a crazy outfit of an African ladies blazer; a hajab, a skirt & Wellingtons with a sign saying "It is not the clothes you wear" that I made the leap. So many of the women seemed pleased to have a man wearing a skirt in support, that I almost felt a calling.

I need not reiterate the comfort of skirts for the male anatomy or warm weather, but I was indeed reminded during that event. I had been wearing skirts about the house at times for comfort so the notion of wearing them daily was not entirely foreign, but my public ventures had been few and with a distinct awareness of myself 'standing out' and being a bit fretful of the reception I might get. I had worn skirts in public a few times in Thailand, mostly around the beach/water/holiday events, but again, not as daily wear--more as costumes--but the appeal was working it's magic on me. I then had to test the reception more widely, first with a wife that was not accustom to seeing me in skirts and raised her eyebrows a bit; especially when I stayed in a skirt during the day when visitors might come by, and/or ran an errand to the store without bothering to change, but gradually she came round to accepting it despite expressing a preference for my wearing pants. As a very 'progressive' person politically and socially I was a bit surprised at her reluctance despite not seeming to feel there was a problem with other men wearing skirts if they wanted -- just not her husband! I think she has found there are no real repercussions and now that I've learned a bit more about the 'fashion aspects' of color, etc. she may even add a bit of counsel on my choice of skirt style, or shirt match. Over time I've come to appreciate the variety of cuts, fabrics, color and 'mood' that skirts can offer over over pants, and it does bring out a 'feminine' side to even a rather distinctly hetero male, and I confess to yet a bit of reluctance at times to allow myself full range to the options as some seem a bit too frilly or female despite my intellectual knowledge that this too is silly!

Sadly, it took too many years of concern about what others might think before I said to 'hell with it' I'm gonna do what feels good for me. I'm retired so I do not have to worry about what a client, or boss, or colleague may think which makes it easier; but it took a few months of wearing skirts in public to really come to 'own it' and not always be aware that I might stand out. Nowadays, with all the blatant discrimination around I feel it is almost an obligation to boldly wear my skirts, hoping to make folks question their pre-conceived notions, biases, assumptions, and conformity. Not often, but once in a while you get to help hammer home the messages that clothing is not gender orientation, gender identification, or anything else except clothing with a by-stander, friend, or someone brave enough to say something directly. Interestingly it seems some of the public have a more difficult time adapting to a guy in a skirt than we do!

My pants have been relegated to the least accessible part of my closet and about 30 or 40 skirts stand front and center. I live in a "macho" Latin country, and seem to be the only male the has adopted the skirt, though several chaps have told me they too use to wear skirts in other places -- such as Austin TX -- but not here yet? Don't ask where I wear skirts, as they are my regular daily wear, so all the normal places people go here. I have declined to go through US Customs/Immigration/TSA lines in skirts given the hate atmosphere and crazies there, but I've worn them readily in the Costco, clinic, hospital, public parks, restaurants, etc during our Oregon visits (family) but find I am still a bit more aware and concerned about reactions in some settings than in other countries like NZ, AU where accepting people as they are seems to be more the norm. I'd think I'd be quite concerned in some places where the GLBT communities are so victimized, so there may be some limits on where men can brandish the skirt yet, but hopefully it will eventually come back to us!
Falda Guy
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by skirtyscot »

Hello and :welcome: Faldaguy!

That's quite an introduction, and it answers most of the questions people normally ask new members. So please take a seat, join in the chat, and let us see some of your skirts!
Keep on skirting,

Alastair
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by oldsalt1 »

Welcome to the Café its great that your wife is accepting of your skirt wearing.
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Jim »

Welcome. We have a lot of similar experiences in our skirt-wearing evolution.

I had to look up Ticolandia.
ticolandia
Nickname for Costa Rica. Derived from their penchant to use tico as a diminutive and as an alternate to Costarriqueño.
Freefrom
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Freefrom »

My my, what a pleasant introduction and so well expressed that it's a pleasure to read.
Your experience is so similar to my own Ticolandia that it could almost be written about me; location and time apart. Welcome aboard.
Faldaguy
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Faldaguy »

Ooops, I was in the middle of a reply when I backed out to look up a title, and when I returned the draft was gone -- apologies if some truncated, partially duplicated message went out.

Yes, "Ticolandia" is a polite familiar diminutive for Costa Rica.

I am not familiar with much of the techno side of blogs or such as I have not done any "social" media save email and blogs from a friend or two as I've believe despite some utility, Facebook, Twitter, etc add to the decline in our real-world ability to engage face to face in a civil fashion -- so, some guidance here would be welcome as I have a question that may challenge the feelings of some on this site. I suspect new topics or questions should be entered as a new topic on the skirts and kilts section, as this 'introductions' is limited to just that?

In quick response to those who commented to my intro note: I was surprised as I read though some of this site to find that issue of wives accepting skirt wearing by their partners a seemingly wide-spread issue. I thought it a bit peculiar that my wife was initially reluctant as it seem she and so many women readily expressed acceptance of men in skirts -- but apparently that does not apply to "their" men! Perhaps there should be a section of the site with tips for men first venturing into wearing skirts to bring their significant others around? I am glad my spouse came round fairly readily -- in fact now we even share or swap skirts -- though I sometimes think she gets the better deal as she takes a fancy to some new item I've bought, and being the doting husband I am...I just have to go shopping again!

So, at the end of this intro section their is a post dated on my birthday from a chap who now seems to a 'master barista' that goes to the heart of my new query -- so where shall I take it?
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by crfriend »

Faldaguy wrote:
Thu Feb 06, 2020 10:53 am
I suspect new topics or questions should be entered as a new topic on the skirts and kilts section, as this 'introductions' is limited to just that?
Whilst the general setup of the overall forum does have such a scheme, in practise things can pop up almost anywhere, just as they do in real-world conversation. Overall, it's useful if topics are at least opened in the section with the best fit, but it's worth noting that said threads or topics can wander fairly widely from the original idea.
I was surprised as I read though some of this site to find that issue of wives accepting skirt wearing by their partners a seemingly wide-spread issue. I thought it a bit peculiar that my wife was initially reluctant as it seem she and so many women readily expressed acceptance of men in skirts -- but apparently that does not apply to "their" men! Perhaps there should be a section of the site with tips for men first venturing into wearing skirts to bring their significant others around?
That's an observation that many have made in the past, this writer included. Whilst I used to have a very supportive wife, she's gone and now that I'm single again with quite a few women friends who are just about to a one entirely enthusiastic about my sartorial style I have not had the slightest luck at lighting anything romantic with any of them (of note is that the overwhelming majority are either married, involved, or otherwise "taken", and most of the rest are "age inappropriate" or bad matches for anything "serious"). I'd enjoy being romantically involved again, but do not expect it to happen in my lifetime.
So, at the end of this intro section their is a post dated on my birthday from a chap who now seems to a 'master barista' that goes to the heart of my new query -- so where shall I take it?
That'd probably be me. To what post do you refer?
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Faldaguy
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Faldaguy »

Ah, yes...but ye were replying, not the original author ...so, I'll just head to new topics in the general or kilt section. And, as I re-read the entry I made, looks like I need to edit my own stuff!
cheers,
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by denimini »

Faldaguy wrote:
Thu Feb 06, 2020 11:37 am
Over time I've come to appreciate the variety of cuts, fabrics, color and 'mood' that skirts can offer over over pants, and it does bring out a 'feminine' side to even a rather distinctly hetero male, and I confess to yet a bit of reluctance at times to allow myself full range to the options as some seem a bit too frilly or female despite my intellectual knowledge that this too is silly!
Yes, me too.
I have purchased a few skirts with frills or floral prints, cheerfull sort of things that I liked the look of and I think look fine on me. I haven't worn them out and about much as I think that I am considered by locals to be enough of a rebel just by wearing a denim mini skirt.
I believe in the principle that we should be able to wear anything and hope to keep pushing the envelope. Locals might adapt incrementally, one small flower .......... then a bunch ........... then a pink tutu? :)
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Sinned »

" Perhaps there should be a section of the site with tips for men first venturing into wearing skirts to bring their significant others around?"

I don't think that there is any formula for "bringing their significant others around". I wish it were that simple. I'm sure others that are affected, as I am, will agree their opposition seems so very well entrenched that they may never agree to our wearing skirts or to our wearing them in very limited circumstances. So consider yourself very fortunate that your other half is so agreeable. It is so hard to understand their opposition but since it is an emotional issue no matter of logic and discussion can get them to change their minds.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Style and spouse approval, stray thoughts from Ticolandia

Post by Faldaguy »

Well, I'm not sure my own sense of style will grow to pink tutu's, but I concur with the notion that clothing is just cloth for decor and protection--limits be damned, if you've got the verve!

And I concur with the thought that there is no "formula" for bringing significant others around, but perhaps a bunch of tips or techniques some have found work, to pick and choose from or test. I'll have to ask my wife what brought her around--she was not there instantly--in fact I was quite taken back when early on and we were headed out, that she declared she was not going shopping with me "if I was wearing that" as she looked pointedly at my skirt!

My take, is that she came round fairly readily upon a combination of intellectual appeal and limited exposures when friends came round the house or we were in places we were not known and she observed that the world did not end, nor were there any real consequences to me, or us, if I was attired in a skirt. The first few times in our own community, I went out on my own to pick up a grocery item or such, and she inquired if the whole community had now seen me in a skirt, so there was really not much point in avoiding declining to go with me -- folks knew anyway. Perhaps there are other reasons, but I suspect it was like many of the men have expressed, an initial hesitation, fear to venture into known public places, but that very quickly gives way to the discovery that few folks really give a dang, even if they do notice. Once I started getting compliments or supportive comments from others (mostly women) I think the last of her reservations gave way. That is not to say she might not still prefer I wear pants -- "be an ordinary guy" -- but it is no longer a problem, and as noted, she will, mostly when asked, provide advise, express a preference for the occasion, or even commandeer or swap skirts with me. They still look better in my view on her, and women, than on me -- but I've always dressed for comfort and not conformity to style.

I've seen a few questions along the line of "What would you think if your husband wore your clothes..." on Quora, but the queries are not well designed for a useful survey -- it would be a great topic for a research project in a Psych, Sociology or Women's study program -- hint, hint you professors!
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Re: Style and spouse approval, stray thoughts from Ticolandia

Post by pelmut »

Faldaguy wrote:
Sun Feb 16, 2020 7:07 am
I've seen a few questions along the line of "What would you think if your husband wore your clothes..." on Quora, but the queries are not well designed for a useful survey -- it would be a great topic for a research project in a Psych, Sociology or Women's study program -- hint, hint you professors!
I remember seeing a report of an experiment along those lines in the 1960s.  A psychiatrist put on a perfectly ordinary-looking dress and went out in public to see what reactions he got.  Probably because this was England, there was very little reaction, but the article was entitled: "Psychiatrist Cure Thyself"!
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by skirtyscot »

Faldaguy, my wife's attitude to my skirts has been pretty much the same, except that I wouldn't say she came round readily. It took a long time. Even once she realised that everyone locally had seen me, she continued to be reluctant to go out with me in a skirt. But she slowly relented. I'm one of the lucky ones, you are doubly so.

There's no formula. You can reason with her on the grounds of equality or comfort, but to some people it's just wrong for a man to wear a skirt. Everyone gets told this consistently and from an early age. It's deeply engrained, and some people can't get away from the idea. Some don't want to.
Keep on skirting,

Alastair
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Sinned »

Faldaguy, MOH knows that I have been out often on my own in a skirt ( when she is not around to have a cautionary effect ) and that I have not made a secret among those around me that I wear a skirt. She tolerates them but I often get snide remarks about them as well. So to follow your line of thinking it should be no loss to her to accompany me out with me wearing a skirt but she doesn't even seem capable of considering it. A pity really but emotion and logic really are not compatible.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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Re: Hola from Ticolandia

Post by Freefrom »

Sinned wrote:
Sun Feb 16, 2020 11:23 am
Faldaguy, MOH knows that I have been out often on my own in a skirt ( when she is not around to have a cautionary effect ) and that I have not made a secret among those around me that I wear a skirt. She tolerates them but I often get snide remarks about them as well. So to follow your line of thinking it should be no loss to her to accompany me out with me wearing a skirt but she doesn't even seem capable of considering it. A pity really but emotion and logic really are not compatible.
I love my significant other half for what she is, not for what I want her to be.
For what it's worth she is quite comfortable with either of us wearing whatsoever is decent, modest, respectable, practical and comfortable about our house and it's surroundings. When receiving visitors into our own space and venturing out into the world at large both of us feel more comfortable wearing modest apparel; for myself that limit of modesty reaches the boundary of a Kilt, sometimes a denim mini.
I don't exist in this world to satisfy my very own ambition, I share it with my dear Wife's comfort zone too and Vice versa.
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