Hello again, hope this is allowed

If you're new to the Cafe, please grab a seat by the potted palm, settle down with a nice big latte, and tell us a little bit about yourself. Please also look here for forum principles and rules.

Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Sat Apr 13, 2019 9:35 am

i just wanted to say hi again in the Introductions. Because I am new here I'm not quite sure how to move forward but I wanted to give a bit more info about myself:
I really like what this forum stands for, in the core values of freedom for men to be free in the fashion arena and, yes, wear skirts.
Of course there is alot more to it than that.
For instance I have been talking to D.... privately here and he has a fascinating line on the position of men in society - where we are seen a bit as expendable. Tough, manly, non frivolous, forgiven for lacking the full quota of emotional intelligence.
But how fun is it just to be a rather thick stud muffin? [Especially if we are not at all that type.]
I don't want to get too involved now - but just to say:
My story is that when at an all boys boarding school I was three times selected to play a female role and this involved wearing a dress. Why me? Why was I chosen? I was mortified and yet strangely elated. Now I don't want to get too stuck in this - especially because this forum is about men in skirts wearing skirts as men – but it did give me a lifelong insight into the joys of wearing a non bifurcated garment. The airiness, the pleasures, the power it gave me.
Funny thing is today I can't really get to grips with even wearing my ONE skirt I own - albeit a nice one (M&S Woman as it happens but again I wear with a male 'upper' like a shirt and tie. It is brown, just below knee and has a nice satin brown lining.
I just feel so like I can't wear it and only do so very occasionally in my house.
Oh well hope this can change.
Thoughts anyone?

PS Thank you those who responded to my first post - very welome comments thank you. :)
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby Jim » Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:11 pm

Maybe your one nice skirt is too nice?

I wear shorts a lot. I started wearing skirts that looked almost like my shorts. It was simple and didn't make me look much different than people were used to.
User avatar
Jim
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 591
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:39 am

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby crfriend » Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:36 pm

hillaryskirt wrote:My story is that when at an all boys boarding school I was three times selected to play a female role and this involved wearing a dress. Why me? Why was I chosen? I was mortified and yet strangely elated.

There's no way to draw anything like a solid conclusion or context from so few data, but you may have been one of the ones that at an early age was already able to "think outside the box" that you were placed in at birth because of your anatomy. Unfortunately, over time, that little tiny box you were placed into so early has been shrinking ever since even though you have grown. You're at least able to contemplate that there might be something outside.
Now I don't want to get too stuck in this - especially because this forum is about men in skirts wearing skirts as men – but it did give me a lifelong insight into the joys
Funny thing is today I can't really get to grips with even wearing my ONE skirt I own - albeit a nice one (M&S Woman as it happens but again I wear with a male 'upper' like a shirt and tie. It is brown, just below knee and has a nice satin brown lining.

Back to the "box" analogy. One would think that the walls would be rather brittle, but in fact they're surprisingly robust, and that's because we ourselves reinforce them with the "guidance" of society which tends to abhor "difference". To crib the line from Men in Black, we have the case where "A person may be smart, but people are stupid and panicky." -- herd mentality really, and it works that way from an observational perspective. Another community member here cribbed the notion of "We are prisoners of our own devise" -- and that sums it up well, too, as it touches on the way we subconsciously reinforce those walls.

A key here is, that the first step is always the most terrifying -- but, once that's behind one, the going gets pretty easy after a while. You will notice less hostility after a while, but that'll be mainly due to your confidence and outward behaviour. You'll also find that folks are not laughing at you they're entirely likely laughing at something else. The big hurdle is that first step. Lots of advice has been given here on tactics for assisting in taking that first step -- and much of it is good. Ultimately it'll be down to you to steel your nerves, gather courage, open the door, and step outside.

To the notion that currently your single skirt might be "too nice", that is possible. If you're afraid of damaging it you'll always be on the defensive a bit. (This is also true for very expensive stuff that one tends to acquire after having been at it for a while.)

Good luck!
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
 
Posts: 10316
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby skirtyscot » Sat Apr 13, 2019 4:25 pm

Hi Hillaryskirt, I agree with the others. If your one and only skirt is too smart, you need to buy something more workaday. You may also feel a little less conspicuous in it. I'm currently wearing my red cord mini, but I'm about to go and mow the lawn, so I'll put on my old knee-length denim skirt. It was the first one I bought, a good few years ago now, and it has seen a lot of use. Now it's very faded, but just right for mowing: it allows a big enough stride and I don't care if it gets grass stains on it. It's just an ordinary thing to wear. That's what you should try.
Keep on skirting,

Alastair
skirtyscot
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 2969
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:44 pm
Location: West Kilbride, Ayrshire, Scotland

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby Fred in Skirts » Sat Apr 13, 2019 7:07 pm

Greetings Hillaryskirt from the not so sunny South. I have but one piece of advise buy a CHEAP DENIM SKIRT and wear it. Wear it around the house until it feels natural and then walk out the door to get the news paper or the mail. Walk tall and with your head held high and above all smile. Do this as often as possible it will become normal for you.

I now have a closet full of skirts and dresses that a few years ago I did not have, all of them can be worn any where.

Good Luck,
Fred
Fred :kiltdance:

:whistle: Hi I am Fred and I wear skirts and dresses all of the time. :hooray:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not"
Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
User avatar
Fred in Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 2235
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:48 pm
Location: Southeast Corner of Aiken County, SC USA

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Sat Apr 13, 2019 9:48 pm

Jim wrote:Maybe your one nice skirt is too nice?

I wear shorts a lot. I started wearing skirts that looked almost like my shorts. It was simple and didn't make me look much different than people were used to.


Thank you Jim I get the shorts progression.

My one skirt? Let's see - I don't think it is about not wanting to spoil it.
Yes the skirt and fabric is nice but skirt- fulfillment is more important to me.

No I think it's something our fellow member Moonshadow showed me via a link to their page. How males even alone in their house won't put on that skirt - as they've been too conditioned NOT to.
Sad almost tragic. But true.
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Sat Apr 13, 2019 9:52 pm

Fred in Skirts wrote:Greetings Hillaryskirt from the not so sunny South. I have but one piece of advise buy a CHEAP DENIM SKIRT and wear it. Wear it around the house until it feels natural and then walk out the door to get the news paper or the mail. Walk tall and with your head held high and above all smile. Do this as often as possible it will become normal for you.

I now have a closet full of skirts and dresses that a few years ago I did not have, all of them can be worn any where.


You are so brave. I shall try denim but may need to wear shorts under to smooth potential chafe.
Thank you again.
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:02 pm

crfriend wrote:
hillaryskirt wrote:My story is that when at an all boys boarding school I was three times selected to play a female role and this involved wearing a dress. Why me? Why was I chosen? I was mortified and yet strangely elated.

There's no way to draw anything like a solid conclusion or context from so few data, but you may have been one of the ones that at an early age was already able to "think outside the box" that you were placed in at birth because of your anatomy. Unfortunately, over time, that little tiny box you were placed into so early has been shrinking ever since even though you have grown. You're at least able to contemplate that there might be something outside.
Now I don't want to get too stuck in this - especially because this forum is about men in skirts wearing skirts as men – but it did give me a lifelong insight into the joys

Back to the "box" analogy. One would think that the walls would be rather brittle, but in fact they're surprisingly robust, and that's because we ourselves reinforce them with the "guidance" of society which tends to abhor "difference". To crib the line from Men in Black, we have the case where "A person may be smart, but people are stupid and panicky." -- herd mentality really, and it works that way from an observational perspective. Another community member here cribbed the notion of "We are prisoners of our own devise" -- and that sums it up well, too, as it touches on the way we subconsciously reinforce those walls.

A key here is, that the first step is always the most terrifying -- but, once that's behind one, the going gets pretty easy after a while. You will notice less hostility after a while, but that'll be mainly due to your confidence and outward behaviour. You'll also find that folks are not laughing at you they're entirely likely laughing at something else. The big hurdle is that first step. Lots of advice has been given here on tactics for assisting in taking that first step -- and much of it is good. Ultimately it'll be down to you to steel your nerves, gather courage, open the door, and step outside.

To the notion that currently your single skirt might be "too nice", that is possible. If you're afraid of damaging it you'll always be on the defensive a bit. (This is also true for very expensive stuff that one tends to acquire after having been at it for a while.)

Good luck!


Thank you so much sounds like I just need to be ball breakingly good. Like brave. Break down barriers many of which are self imposed.
Warm up my inner snowflake.
X
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:05 pm

skirtyscot wrote:Hi Hillaryskirt, I agree with the others. If your one and only skirt is too smart, you need to buy something more workaday. You may also feel a little less conspicuous in it. I'm currently wearing my red cord mini, but I'm about to go and mow the lawn, so I'll put on my old knee-length denim skirt. It was the first one I bought, a good few years ago now, and it has seen a lot of use. Now it's very faded, but just right for mowing: it allows a big enough stride and I don't care if it gets grass stains on it. It's just an ordinary thing to wear. That's what you should try.


Thank you Alastair - I like the sound of your old familiar skirt - like an old jumper..
The grass stains and the big stride sound nice!
Hillary
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby STEVIE » Sun Apr 14, 2019 3:50 am

Hi HS,
I concur absolutely with Skirtyscot especially and would expand on my previous suggestion, "enjoy".
The key there is to take the whole thing at your own pace.
Comfort in all respects is an essential element.
I own a suede skirt that first saw the light of day in Stirling more years ago than I care to remember now.
That was the occasion of our first Scottish meeting. I have been unable for various reasons to repeat the experience.
We are planning to do it all again in Glasgow around the weekend of the 20th September.
Join us, if you can. You would find a warm welcome and I may just pack that old skirt too.
Steve.
STEVIE
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1854
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:01 pm
Location: North East Scotland.

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby hillaryskirt » Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:29 pm

STEVIE wrote:Hi HS,
I concur absolutely with Skirtyscot especially and would expand on my previous suggestion, "enjoy".
The key there is to take the whole thing at your own pace.
Comfort in all respects is an essential element.
I own a suede skirt that first saw the light of day in Stirling more years ago than I care to remember now.
That was the occasion of our first Scottish meeting. I have been unable for various reasons to repeat the experience.
We are planning to do it all again in Glasgow around the weekend of the 20th September.
Join us, if you can. You would find a warm welcome and I may just pack that old skirt too.
Steve.


Hi Steve/Stevie,

Thank you so much for your suggestion of Scottish meet. Unfortunately I am not up in Scotland until two weeks after that date. Would there be any chance of second week of October?!!
As for the suede skirt - that sounds delightful. I would want sued to be lined and I think most men would.

Yours Hillary.
"The past is never dead. It's not even past." - William Faulkner.
User avatar
hillaryskirt
Active Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:55 pm

Re: Hello again, hope this is allowed

Postby STEVIE » Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:26 pm

Hi Hillary
Go to the Get Togethers and let everyone know exactly where in Scotland and when you will be around.
The September date has been fixed but that is not to say that another meet in October is out of the question.
If you prefer send me a PM and we will see what can be arranged.
Steve.
STEVIE
Member Extraordinaire
 
Posts: 1854
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:01 pm
Location: North East Scotland.


Return to Introductions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests