Aggressive women

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
Brad
Distinguished Member
Posts: 114
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Rockland County, New York, USA

Aggressive women

Post by Brad »

I've noticed that when I'm wearing a skirt women seem to act more aggressively. I've had random women tell me I have nice legs. I never get that attention wearing shorts. It seems to me that a man in a skirt is considered vulnerable in a way that encourages women be more forward. Had anyone else noticed this attention from women?

User avatar
Jim
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 770
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 1:39 am
Location: Northern Illinois, USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Jim »

Brad wrote:I've noticed that when I'm wearing a skirt women seem to act more aggressively. I've had random women tell me I have nice legs. I never get that attention wearing shorts. It seems to me that a man in a skirt is considered vulnerable in a way that encourages women be more forward. Had anyone else noticed this attention from women?
The other day a female hardware store clerk told me "nice watch" on my $10 Casio digital watch. All that I could think of was my denim skirt. I said, "thanks." I don't know if this is aggressive toward one being more vulnerable, or just putting us in class (skirt-wearers) whose appearance it is acceptable to comment upon.

shadowfax
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 309
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:05 am
Location: UK

Re: Aggressive women

Post by shadowfax »

Brad wrote:I've noticed that when I'm wearing a skirt women seem to act more aggressively. I've had random women tell me I have nice legs. I never get that attention wearing shorts. It seems to me that a man in a skirt is considered vulnerable in a way that encourages women be more forward. Had anyone else noticed this attention from women?
I wonder if you're maybe seeing things the wrong way around? I don't see it as aggression. I believe that women may see Men In Skirts as less threatening and therefore feel able to comment more freely on our appearance.

Kilty
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 956
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:47 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Kilty »

Adversely, it could be more disingenuous as they may not see us as "real men" and could be a form of talking down to us... I've had comments about my legs and bum that if I was as a "real man" was to say such to a woman would get me in a lot of trouble in this #metoo society. Searches of forums like Mumsnet take you to loads of pages of women who hate their 'cross dressing partners' who fetishize the clothes and drive them away... they feel such men are 'parodying women' and insulting them...

It's a theory, but as gender roles change, they are becoming more forward than before :roll:

Grok
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1862
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:21 am

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Grok »

At this point in time, a skirted man is obviously an unconventional male. Would different women interpret this differently, based on their temperment?

Grok
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1862
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:21 am

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Grok »

shadowfax wrote: I believe that women may see Men In Skirts as less threatening and therefore feel able to comment more freely on our appearance.
Or the average male dresses so drably/dully that it isn't worth commenting on?

User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 4122
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Caultron »

Brad wrote:I've noticed that when I'm wearing a skirt women seem to act more aggressively. I've had random women tell me I have nice legs. I never get that attention wearing shorts. It seems to me that a man in a skirt is considered vulnerable in a way that encourages women be more forward. Had anyone else noticed this attention from women?
I prefer to think they find my outfit different and interesting, and that they're just making a nice comment.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron

STEVIE
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1923
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:01 pm
Location: North East Scotland.

Re: Aggressive women

Post by STEVIE »

I speak as a rather grizzled old dude who happens to wear a skirt.
In the times that I am out and about I have encountered interest from women but I would not see it as aggressive behaviour.
Indeed, many conversations have been sparked by my writing rather than just the skirts.
I like to fill my journal over a beer or a coffee. Some people are fascinated by good old pen and ink,
I don't think that in any other universe, I would have had such nice conversations if I had been conventionally attired.
I rather suspect that the root cause was simple curiosity and being sociable I enjoy the interaction.
I won't claim that it was my animal magnetism anyway but there is no fool like an old fool either.
Steve.

User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 10920
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: Aggressive women

Post by crfriend »

Caultron wrote:I prefer to think they find my outfit different and interesting, and that they're just making a nice comment.
I'm with Caultron on this one. I'd rather put things down to decent intent rather than ascribing them to malice or condescension.

Inappropriate comments/questions and unwanted physical contact, however, are not welcome at all. "If you don't want that sort of behaviour from me, then why do you think I want it from you?" Reciprocity and equality here, please.
Last edited by crfriend on Sat Dec 01, 2018 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed my own botched quoting.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

User avatar
moonshadow
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 4497
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:58 am
Location: Appalachian Mountains (VA)
Contact:

Re: Aggressive women

Post by moonshadow »

I also receive more feedback from women when I'm wearing skirts, but I wouldn't call it "aggressive". I think it's more like others implied, that we're more approachable from many women due to how we dress.

In fact, while some women occasionally glare from a distance, I'd hardly call that "aggressive". Likewise, the redneck women tend to get a little obnoxious, but that behavior transcends the sexes, as redneck guys can be just as bad.

In fact, as far as friendly feedback goes, women usually take the prize. Men hardly say anything at all.
-Moon Shadow
"Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation." - Benjamin Franklin

Brad
Distinguished Member
Posts: 114
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Rockland County, New York, USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Brad »

moonshadow wrote: I also receive more feedback from women when I'm wearing skirts, but I wouldn't call it "aggressive". I think it's more like others implied, that we're more approachable from many women due to how we dress.
I would agree with you Moonshadow that the behaviour may not be aggressive. Perhaps that term was too strong. But a man wearing a skirt seems to empower women to be more forward. It could be as Shadowfax said we may be considered less threatening. Or as Caultron said, they're just being nice.

User avatar
Daryl
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1160
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:25 am
Location: Toronto Canada

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Daryl »

Jim wrote:
Brad wrote:I've noticed that when I'm wearing a skirt women seem to act more aggressively. I've had random women tell me I have nice legs. I never get that attention wearing shorts. It seems to me that a man in a skirt is considered vulnerable in a way that encourages women be more forward. Had anyone else noticed this attention from women?
The other day a female hardware store clerk told me "nice watch" on my $10 Casio digital watch. All that I could think of was my denim skirt. I said, "thanks." I don't know if this is aggressive toward one being more vulnerable, or just putting us in class (skirt-wearers) whose appearance it is acceptable to comment upon.
I'm not sure "aggressive" would be the right word. I think the right word might be "forward". I've definitely noticed women being more forward when I am in a skirt, especially in a kilt. I've had comments on the skirt itself, and on my shoes and general appearance so far, from women who are complete strangers.

In one case it was a woman, herself also in a skirt, who led the conversation down the path of skirts just being preferable to wear, and how her daughter is only now starting to discover them. My sense was that a man being in a skirt was evidence for her that skirts are just good to wear, not mere sex-signals.

More frequently, when I wore kilts, women would openly and loudly proclaim their approval, even women who were public servants in a public place.

I think vulnerability has something to do with it, but not vulnerability in the sense of being able to be rude with no fear of consequences but in the sense of courageous vulnerability, which is openness and confidence. A man in a skirt, with no shield of excuses (Scottish, transitioning, Hallowe'en, etc.), is open and confident, and people can want to touch that and let a little rub off on them.

Let's be frank: the reason men avoid skirts and the entire pretty side of the aesthetic spectrum is simply fear, and everyone knows this with certainty. You want to humiliate a woman, shave her head. To humiliate a man, feminise him. Women with shaved heads probably experience something like what men in skirts experience, in terms of people seeing them as being open and confident, and therefore approachable. I know I've merrily commented on a woman's shaved head before, saying something like "I like your hairdo" while rubbing my own freshly shaven scalp.

I don't think the value of openness and confidence can be over-emphasised. That it makes us more approachable can only help us gain acceptance and further the cause of choices for men.
Daryl...

partlyscot
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 714
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:05 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by partlyscot »

I'll pretty much echo Daryl here. I've had many comments from women about my skirts, and I've welcomed all of them. Nearest thing to an "aggressive" comment was "well, you've certainly got the legs for a skirt"

I particularly remember one conversation where the lady happened to be wearing the exact same skirt, and she said that I was well ahead of the curve, and couldn't understand why more men didn't wear them.

I think that sometimes women get a bit pissed off with men who can't make a polite approving comment about their outfits, and come out with something offensive like,"nice rack!" When they see a guy prepared to be a bit more outgoing in their own clothing, they're more likely to be appreciative of said outfit.

Happy-N-Skirts
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 340
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:39 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Happy-N-Skirts »

Most people don't notice when I am wearing a skirt. Of the women who have noticed, I only get positive comments such as my legs or that I look comfortable. Some merely smile. One lady asked, "what are you wearing?" I replied that it was a hiking kilt and they are getting very popular. She said, "oh, well you look nice." I have never had a man notice or say anything.

User avatar
denimini
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1668
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2015 2:50 am
Location: Outback Australia

Re: Aggressive women

Post by denimini »

I don't think of these comments as aggressive, perhaps assertive would be a better word.

I had a lady (that I had met before) greet me with "great legs", which I replied with a "thanks". It was a short mini skirt so my legs were a predominant feature of my appearance.
I took no offence and thought it was a friendly and light hearted greeting. Perhaps it was her response to confronting an unexpected situation. Some people I meet glance down and then try and hide their surprise. I probably prefer the honest and direct approach.
Commenting on legs could be interpreted as aknowledging one is wearing a skirt yet accepting the skirt as normal attire.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia

Post Reply