Noobie here!

[Toll]

Hey everyone. I'm Toll. I'm a straight 23 year old male looking to try on a skirt. The first time I had the interest in doing so was maybe when I was 11 or 12. I would stretch my tv shirts and wear them from the waist. Haha but the neck holes were tolerant so mom never found out. Anyway, almost a year ago, the idea of being in a skirt sparked my interest for the first time as an adult. I've been thinking a lot about society and how gender roles are hurting us. Even little things like clothing are included and I just can't stand that. Everyone should be able to wear what they want.

So anyway, I have great interest in trying on a skirt. Earlier this year I bought long tv shirts from the big and tall department that would go down to almost my knees. I would wear these shirts around my apartment (I lived by myself at the time). I loved the freedom my legs had. It was unreal and just very comfortable. I would cook, watch tv, do my artwork (I'm a cartoonist) and sleep in these shirts. So I wanna take the next step and try on a real skirt to see how that feels. I really don't wanna spend a ton of money on something I'm experimenting with. I have no problem ordering a skirt from the woman's department if it was the easiest way. I just want something neutral and black that almost touches my knees.

The big problem which of course is incredibly common is my family and going out in public. What will they think? I guess I could just talk to them, right? There is no valid argument for why a man can't wear a skirt. I can't possibly lose to them in a debate. I just don't feel that they would accept it even if I could beat them in an argument.

I've been thinking about how to go about this and I don't think I should bring up the skirts thing alone especially when going out in public. I'd be far more comfortable walking the streets with my guy friends who are also wearing skirts. I feel I would have a lot of anxiety if I were to go alone. I don't want to be stared at and singled out but if I was with friends who were doing the same thing than I think I could manage. They would be getting the attention too and it wouldn't be all on me.

I really don't want to wait until it's socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in western countries. ( I live in Pennsylvania, U.S.) Who knows how long that could be. I'm not getting any younger. I have a youthful body and I wanna start wearing skirts before I'm old, ya know? While I'm in the best shape of my life. I would regret not trying a skirt in my youth all because I was too scared. But it's all so nerve wracking.

I'm happy I found this site, because now I can get some good insight from you skirt wearers. What's your best advice for this 23 year old?

[Stevie D]

I really don't want to wait until it's socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in western countries. ( I live in Pennsylvania, U.S.) Who knows how long that could be. I'm not getting any younger. I have a youthful body and I wanna start wearing skirts before I'm old, ya know? While I'm in the best shape of my life. I would regret not trying a skirt in my youth all because I was too scared. But it's all so nerve wracking.

I'm happy I found this site, because now I can get some good insight from you skirt wearers. What's your best advice for this 23 year old?

Welcome Toll!

I think just about everyone here has gone through similar thoughts about how they should first start wearing their skirts out in public. And I think the best piece of advice we can give you is just do it. Yes - it will be scary at first, but if you choose a skirt which is conservative in style and colour (knee-length denim skirts seem to be especially good) you will find that practically no-one, if anyone at all, will take any notice of you. You might begin to feel that you are invisible.

For your first outing, try just going to your local mall or supermarket in the middle of the day, buy a few things and go home again. It will almost certainly be an emotional rush for you, but also a non-event. Hopefully it will give you confidence to do it again. And again...

If your goal is not to be noticed particularly, my advice would be to do it by yourself, rather than collect a group of skirt-wearing male friends around you, which could (a) take time and (b) make you all more conspicuous.

Above all, wear your skirts comfortably and with confidence. You are not doing anything illegal or immoral. It's really no different than wearing a pair of jeans.

No doubt others will chime in with their advice too, but I will repeat my first piece: just do it.
Best of luck! Let us know how you get on.

Stevie D

[barefoot_kevin]

I really don't want to wait until it's socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in western countries. ( I live in Pennsylvania, U.S.) Who knows how long that could be. I'm not getting any younger. I have a youthful body and I wanna start wearing skirts before I'm old, ya know? While I'm in the best shape of my life. I would regret not trying a skirt in my youth all because I was too scared. But it's all so nerve wracking.

I'm happy I found this site, because now I can get some good insight from you skirt wearers. What's your best advice for this 23 year old?

Welcome Toll!

I think just about everyone here has gone through similar thoughts about how they should first start wearing their skirts out in public. And I think the best piece of advice we can give you is just do it.
Stevie D

Welcome!

I agree. Most folks won't notice at all, and if they do probably wouldn't say anything. Who cares what anyone else thinks anyway? There is a lot more fashion freedom in the US than most folks think, or are willing to risk. I live in conservative central Virginia, and don't have a problem wearing a skirt in public. The reactions I have had have all been positive, with the exception of my wife, initially, but she has come around.

[skirtyscot]

You're dead right about family: reasoning doesn't really come into it. If they're uncomfortable with you wearing a skirt, you're unlikely to be able to argue them out of that. But maybe they will be quite happy with the concept; you never know until you try. Tell them about it when you are wearing trousers.

Shops don't mind. Your money is as good as anyone else's, and the staff have probably seen it before.

[Couya]

Something turned up on the web the other day : three young men in plain t-shirts and short denim skirts because they lost a bet. They were obviously tickled by their exploits (much giggling and pushing each other), but as they progressed through a public park, it was quite obvious that no-one was the slightest bit interested; people all around them, all ages, barely looked at them, guys in skirts; so what?

I did not make a note of the URL, but, apart from showing how self-conscious these fellows were and how indifferent the general public was, there was nothing memorable about their "exploit", so you are not missing much.

We are not the nombril du monde, though we may think we are.

Martin

[Toll]

Thanks everyone for all the warm welcomes and the replies. You all have such great replies that I wish I could muti-quote all of them. I hope doing this is ok. hahaha

@Stevie D
Hey ya know that makes a lot of sense. The group thing sounds like it would attract more attention. Maybe I could at least go with a friend who's not wearing a skirt just in case I find trouble I have someone there with me? I don't know. I've read a good amount of posts on here and I noticed that many have said that they don't have much or any trouble at all. Am I really just being paranoid? The hardest thing is just having the nerve to actually do it, I guess?

And I like the knee length denim skirt idea. I guess knee length is the best way to start perhaps?

@Barefoot Kevin
Seriously? Positive comments? Wow that just makes me happy to hear that. I have no idea how my area would react. I've read here that it's usually the significant others that react negatively to their men wearing skirts more so then the public. That's very interesting.

@Skirtyscot
Yeah I definitely feel I should just ask them what they think of the idea before actually telling them I have interest in wearing skirts. They will be surprised regardless but it's better than not saying anything first and coming downstairs wearing a skirt and putting them all in shock.

@Martin
Yeah, you're right. The group thing is a bad idea and would be counterproductive. I don't want to make it look like I lost a bet. I want to show everyone that men can wear what they want and have that freedom to express themselves.


Well again thanks for the replies, guys. I definitely wanna scratch the idea of going out with friends wearing skirts. I think my next step is to actually purchase a real skirt and wear it around the house in private (when family is not around). I need to know what it's like to walk around, sit, lie down, etc. I think once I've become used to it I'll bring up the question with my family about it what they think of guys in skirts. I don't know exactly when I'll go out in public (before or after talking to my family). I feel that I could do it anytime when I'm by myself. Going out in public a few times with the skirt might be the confidence boost I need before mentioning anything to my family.

Bringing up "What do you think of a guy wearing a skirt" conversation to my family is definitely going to raise that question. They will surely ask "Do you want to wear a skirt." I don't know how I would respond to that. My face is gonna turn all red and I'm surely gonna be hesitant when I speak. I need to think of a good answer for that. My parents aren't the most open minded people but I think my brother might support me. Maybe I should mention it to him first since I'm more comfortable with speaking with him.

[partlyscot]

Hi Toll, welcome.

First, a good way to experiment with this is to go browse the thrift shops. You can play with sizes and styles for way less money than buying new, and you can often find styles that aren't in fashion or just don’t exist anymore. If you are not comfortable doing this locally, go next town over. Right now is a good time to do this, if you get questioned, just mutter something about Halloween in a secretive manner....

As far as getting over the hurdle of it feeling normal, is to just make it so. I started going out for early morning walks to the 7-11 to pick up milk, late evening walks in the local area, finally, I had a week long trip which provided a great opportunity to expose myself (in a manner of speaking) to a great swath of the public that I could just walk away from if it got awkward. It never did. See my post on Driving and camping. http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewtop ... =2&t=17240

I am somewhat fortunate that my GF is completely OK with this, and even encouraging to a certain extent. None of my friends and co-workers that have seen me, or been told, have expressed any problems with it, (they may have some reservations, or even be laughing behind my back, but that's fine, as long as it doesn’t impact me negatively) I am fairly certain that I will be allowed to wear them at work, just haven't quite raised the courage to actually ask permission yet.

Couple of issues with your post. Don't think you have to be young to look good, I'm knocking on 60 and I think I look pretty damn good! Secondly, what is a tv shirt?

[RichardA]

Hi & you've taken the first step, the second step maybe a bit harder, but we all have to start somewhere good luck

[Sinned]

Welcome to this site Tll, and don't forget that if you have something to contribute to any of the threads then do so - don't say silent as we are interested in how you develop skirt-wise and what experiences you have. It's not just for those of us that have been a member for a while. Also look through the threads and you will find lots of advice, tales of woe about those close to us who are not supportive, humour and tales to gladden the heart. Any support from wherever is always nice.

[Toll]

Welcome to this site Tll, and don't forget that if you have something to contribute to any of the threads then do so - don't say silent as we are interested in how you develop skirt-wise and what experiences you have. It's not just for those of us that have been a member for a while. Also look through the threads and you will find lots of advice, tales of woe about those close to us who are not supportive, humour and tales to gladden the heart. Any support from wherever is always nice.

Thanks and yeah I plan too! I'm not going to approach this in one day but I'll be sure to share my experiences. I just gotta go out and buy a skirt so I can get some experience. Thank you for the welcome.

[barefoot_kevin]

@Barefoot Kevin
Seriously? Positive comments? Wow that just makes me happy to hear that. I have no idea how my area would react. I've read here that it's usually the significant others that react negatively to their men wearing skirts more so then the public. That's very interesting.

Most of the positive comments that I have received are from women. As a matter of fact I have had more than one defend me verbally, usually stating something to the effect that I showed more courage wearing a skirt than it takes to criticize me. My friends accept me, some just consider me eccentric, but they are still my friends, and we have a mutual respect. Your real friends will care for you no matter what you choose to do, and they are the only ones worth having anyway.

As Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are, and say what you mean. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

[Toll]

@Barefoot Kevin
Seriously? Positive comments? Wow that just makes me happy to hear that. I have no idea how my area would react. I've read here that it's usually the significant others that react negatively to their men wearing skirts more so then the public. That's very interesting.

Most of the positive comments that I have received are from women. As a matter of fact I have had more than one defend me verbally, usually stating something to the effect that I showed more courage wearing a skirt than it takes to criticize me. My friends accept me, some just consider me eccentric, but they are still my friends, and we have a mutual respect. Your real friends will care for you no matter what you choose to do, and they are the only ones worth having anyway.

As Dr. Seuss said, "Be who you are, and say what you mean. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Huh that is really encouraging! It really makes a lot of sense though. I mean I'd admire someone too if they were doing something that took a lot of guts. I know I have friends that will accept me when I start wearing skirts. I think my friends are open minded enough to not really care what I wear. I guess the real challenge is breaking it to the family. Seriously thanks for the words of encouragement.

[Grok]

Welcome, Toll.

[crfriend]

I think my friends are open minded enough to not really care what I wear. I guess the real challenge is breaking it to the family.

Family, it seems, is always the toughest nut to crack -- spouses especially.

One can always tell one's friends to "stuff it" when it comes to opinions, and it'll usually be taken in the right vein. I've told several of my pals who have "expressed reservations" in no uncertain terms to simply, "put a sock in it". Good friends deal. Marginal ones won't. This is an indication.

Now, family... Family always thinks that they have unlimited power to criticize and control you. If you really believe in what you're doing, don't bend nor waver. Be strong and convince the naysayers of your position ("Defend your thesis."). Beware, however, that there may be some "strong medicine" involved in the process. I'd wanted long hair since I was way too young to grow it; I reached full adulthood, and defied my parents' and grandparents' notions about it. I was happy with my decision, but my grandfather simply would not let go, and eventually pushed me so hard that I pushed him out of my life. One moment he was tossing the schoolyard slur of "fag" at me and, to me, almost the next moment, I was at his memorial service looking at him in a wooden box. (Even though almost a decade intervened.)

First, assess your willingness, then assess your strength in going through with it. There is a chance that your fashion choice (and how silly is that?) may have serious repercussions with your family. Are you ready? Really ready? Marriages have come apart for vastly less.

If none of my commentary above comes to pass, then you can consider yourself truly fortunate, and I hope that's the way it works out!

[Darryl]

Welcome Toll!

I've always planned to get a kilt and bagpipes. I shared this with some friends and one...well, every time I said 'kilt' she said 'skirt.' Well....ok, I said what's the difference and after about three weeks of pondering I went to Lane Bryant and asked the polite young lady if they had something that would be quiet, reserved, and wear well for a man. She showed me a knee-length black knit pencil skirt, and I also got a very lightweight knee-length black skirt with vertical pleats.

I wore both around the house for a couple days, then walked around the house at night, then around the block and in less than a week I went to a local mall and walked around with lots of people ignoring me, some guys looking, and a lot more ladies looking and smiling. Laughing or encouraging, it matters not. After several excursions to the malls and bookstore and grocery and so on I got a swim-skirt, and sport skirt and a running kilt (a wee bit longer than a mini-skirt, about 1/2 to 1" from my fingertips to the hem with my arms straight down. Mid-thigh for sure. Worn them walking and hiking in the park, mowing the grass and about any excuse I could find where it seemed appropriate. Will sometimes wear the running kilt under my trousers and when I leave work, stop in the park and drop the trousers (in the car) and take a hike before heading home.

Some of the neighborhood teenage boys sort of stared for a few times and the 6-8 year-olds were even more obvious weren't afraid to ask annoying questions: why am I wearing a skirt? Do I wear a bra, too? Do I like guys? All the usual misconceptions. Note: I spent many years emulating my interpretation of Spock so I generally look at them and did the classic eyebrow-raise.

So, I wore the lightweight black knee-length with vertical pleats to the local Highland Games and no one raised an eyebrow, spoke with a few pipers and got an invitation to join them Sunday evenings for practice and will hopefully go on to be a piper.

Skirts are comfortable. Skirts are cool. Skirts are kewl. Note: I'm 62 and though I've had the desire to take up the bagpipes and wear a nice kilt-suit (say a Prince Charlie and an Argyle outfit with a casual shirt (Jacobite?) and whatever. I just finally said it's now or never, time to fish or cut bait, etc.

I'd just say go for a very masculine upper-body look and stay conservative with your skirts at least at the beginning. Go with complementary colors and test the waters, one step at a time. There's a lot of great advice and experience to be found here.