A New Salesman

[Uncle Al]

A New Salesman

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a
big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid
says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give
him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store
was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns
and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!?
Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your
employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales
force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable
in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."

The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the
boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked
(semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold
him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where
he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was
going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold
him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic
would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold
him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him
a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy
tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot,
you should go fishing.

Uncle Al

[straightfairy]

I've heard it before, but it's still very good.

[Sinned]

Then there's the one about the clown who goes into a men's clothing shop and orders a new suit for his act. The salesman takes measurements and the clown says that he wants the suit brightly coloured with one lapel being orange with yellow stars and the other lapel being blue with green spots. The main jacket is to be red and the trousers yellow and so on to produce a really gaudy suit. The suit is ordered and the final fit done. But the clown is killed in the circus when an elephant steps on him. Tragic. So the suit is put in with all the other ready-made suits and hangs there unsold for a long while. Anyway the shop salesman leaves and after a decent interval a replacement is advertised for. The only applicant is a young lad with long hair and a rather less conservative appearance so the shop manager is forced to consider him. He calls the lad over and says, "You can start the next day".

When the lad turns up the manager tells him "You're a week's trial and if you can sell that clown's suit over there then you definitely have the job and if you can get the full price for the suit then you will get a bonus".

So all morning the manager keeps an eye on the lad then goes to lunch. The manager comes back from lunch and the clown suit is gone. Well he's staggered by this so he calls the lad over and asks him "Did you sell the suit?"

"Yes sir," the lad replies and produces the store's copy of the receipt. The manager looks at it and is even more surprised that the suit sold for the full price.

The manager says rather unhelpfully, "Did you really get the full price for the suit?"

"Yes sir," he replies.

"Did the customer like the suit?" the manager asks.

"He certainly did," the lad replies, "the customer was delighted with his suit but his guide dog nearly went mad".

[skirted_in_SF]

"He certainly did," the lad replies, "the customer was delighted with his suit but his guide dog nearly went mad".

I laughed until my side hurt. Thanks.