Men in Skirts gaining acceptance

[crfriend]

I agree, LAY DOWN THE QAUNTLET. I respect that we must all be careful when it comes to our wives but at the same time we must not be afraid to stand for our rights.

Respectfully, I must disagree.

Whether we like it or not, a double-standard exists in this realm, and it has to do with the position of privilege that men have historically had over women. So, a woman "standing up for her rights" is doing just that, but for a man to do so is using coercion to further his goals. Does it stink? Yes, it stinks. Get over it and work another tack.

The other aspect to be aware of in delivering ultimatums is that they are inherently corrosive to any sort of supposedly equal relationship. One might "win the battle" in which the ultimatum was delivered but damage will be done to the relationship. Bluntly put, there are more mature ways of approaching the matter than declaring, "It's my way or the highway!"

[couyalair]

I have to agree with SRevolution; yes, we have to be firm. Perhaps making an ulimatum is not the most diplomatic way of maintaining a relationship (which is important after all -- I do agree with Carl), but in SR's case, it sounds to me that the Mrs had already taken a hard-line stance against her man's wishes. Was this not potentially as damaging as his firm reply? Sometimes, things have to be laid out fair and square on the table, and if we don't stand up for what we believe, who will do it for us?

Martin

[crfriend]

[... I]n SR's case, it sounds to me that the Mrs had already taken a hard-line stance against her man's wishes. Was this not potentially as damaging as his firm reply?

That action was certainly hurtful to the relationship, and in this case it sounds very much like the Mrs was engaging in coercive behaviour herself. What I think is needed here is a deft round of open and honest communication and negotiation; jumping immediately to a non-negotiable stance takes that option off the table and both parties, I believe, will suffer in the long run.

Sometimes, things have to be laid out fair and square on the table, and if we don't stand up for what we believe, who will do it for us?

Indeed, but there is a time and a place for it; I just think it's a bit too soon. However, recall that I am approaching this from a rational point of view, and it rather sounds like that's not what's going on in this case so my opinion may be invalid here. I believe it would be sad that open and honest communication would not work within the context of the relationship as that would likely augur the end of same.

[Since1982]

RichardA said: I sometime think as all of us as gays, years ago it was all done behind closed doors, but being gay now is not a sigma, but we still hear of guys being assaulted and even killed for being gay so all we can do is our own thing and hopefully some people will except us as men and not a freak show.

RichardA, liking to wear a skirt for comfort does not make me or anyone else automatically "gay" or "homosexual" which is another word for "gay".

Please do not lump all skirt wearing men automatically into the pot where homosexuals reside. I am happily heterosexual and plan to continue being so. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual if that's your choice, just not my choice. Thank you.

[RichardA]

RichardA said: I sometime think as all of us as gays, years ago it was all done behind closed doors, but being gay now is not a sigma, but we still hear of guys being assaulted and even killed for being gay so all we can do is our own thing and hopefully some people will except us as men and not a freak show.

RichardA, liking to wear a skirt for comfort does not make me or anyone else automatically "gay" or "homosexual" which is another word for "gay".

Please do not lump all skirt wearing men automatically into the pot where homosexuals reside. I am happily heterosexual and plan to continue being so. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual if that's your choice, just not my choice. Thank you.

When I wrote that I thought it was wrong the way I put it sorry, what I meant was gays were behind closed doors for years and it is only now that they are coming out, before that they would be thrown in jail.
I tried to put in in the same likeness as in “you can wear a skirt as long as you don't leave the house” as you may well know we have it on here husband does, wife said no.
I did not mean we are all gays far from the truth and I'm not either so if you thought I meant “we are all gays” all I can say sorry, but you got the wrong end of the stick.

[straightfairy]

RichardA said: I sometime think as all of us as gays, years ago it was all done behind closed doors, but being gay now is not a sigma, but we still hear of guys being assaulted and even killed for being gay so all we can do is our own thing and hopefully some people will except us as men and not a freak show.

RichardA, liking to wear a skirt for comfort does not make me or anyone else automatically "gay" or "homosexual" which is another word for "gay".

Please do not lump all skirt wearing men automatically into the pot where homosexuals reside. I am happily heterosexual and plan to continue being so. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual if that's your choice, just not my choice. Thank you.

While we're on the subject, being homosexual is not a choice in any way, shape or form.
I am. I didn't choose to be; I just am.

[Ray]

Nicely put, Straightfairy.

I happen to be heterosexual. I can't help it; it's just the way I am. Seems we both had the choice removed for us!

[phathack]

The thing I learned while spending all of my personal time this summer wearing a skirt, is I dont care what you think about me wearing a skirt. I wear one because I want to. I dont care if you think I am a homosexual. Thats something you will never know for sure. If your only basais for you judgment about my sexual preference is based on the fact that I'm wearing a skirt, you are letting your prejudices color your opinion. The only one that matter in my life is my significant other and she likes the way I look in a skirt. Though I think she looks way better in one than I do..

[Stu]

I do not see any connection whatsoever between a man's sartorial choices as to whether or not to have the option to wear unbifurcated garments, and his sexual orientation. The two characteristics are completely unrelated.

Stu

[skirtingtheissue]

I do not see any connection whatsoever between a man's sartorial choices as to whether or not to have the option to wear unbifurcated garments, and his sexual orientations. The two characteristics are completely unrelated.

Of course you are absolutely right! Just as there is no relation between men wearing women's clothes (in general) and their sexual orientation. The proportion of crossdressers who are gay, for example, matches the proportion of the general public.

But the trouble is that there are sizable elements of society where ignorance and prejudice have unfortunately established such connections. There are places I would not dare to go in a skirt. As our revolution evolves and spreads, the prejudices will eventually fade, but it will take a lot of time, and a lot more skirting behavior.

So my take on this topic, Men in Skirts Gaining Acceptance, is simply to wear a skirt as much as possible, be visible to friends and strangers alike in a variety of settings, gently educate when the opportunity arises, and show other guys that it's cool, comfortable, and especially POSSIBLE to wear a skirt.

[Sarongman]

But the trouble is that there are sizable elements of society where ignorance and prejudice have unfortunately established such connections

Ignorance profound and the consequent prejudice has absolutely no excuse, but merely shows the person who owns that particular mindset has the inability to think. As I pointed out in another forum, I was homophobic for a couple of decades due to an unfortunate incident in my teens. When I discovered that some very good friends were gay, it was an initial shock until I told myself "It hasn't changed anything, get over it!" The same goes, as S.T.I. points out, for our wearing skirts. the more people see us out and about, the more they will see it as just a nice bloke they know who has different dress ideas and, maybe----just maybe---- they will wonder if there is something worthwhile in this "new" (but very old) male dress code.

[Sinned]

The problem is my willingness to wear a skirt in public and my wife's opposition to this. I think that she's more worried about what other people will say, something I'm not worried about. Approached with confidence I think most pepole would be ok. No, it's my wire's opposition. In some ways she is supportive and has even encouraged me to buy skirts. But I think that she assumed that I wanted to dress in drag and look like a woman because she encouraged me to buy other female things - shorts, makeup etc. I did sort of flirt with this for a few months but decided that I didn't want to look like a woman - I just wanted to wear a skirt. She has accused me of wanting to cut off my penis and change sex ( ridiculous as my penis is my best friend after my wife ) or to be a transvestite ( again ridiculous as I don't want to go the whole hog and wear all women's clothes ). She has even suggested that I move out ( not sure that she is really serious - probably just using it to shock but I can't really say for sure ). I've been advised that people aren't that accepting out there and I may get beaten up. I've decided that a gradual exposure to others is probably the best bet and widen the circle of people who know I wear a skirt. My daughter and eldest son aren't bothered but I think my youngest son is resistant. Off on holiday to Egypt tomorrow and don't know whether to pack any skirts or not - probably not.

[crfriend]

Off on holiday to Egypt tomorrow and don't know whether to pack any skirts or not - probably not.

Good luck on your holiday, and whether you pack skirts or not I hope you all have a good time.

I sense some insecurity in your wife based on your comments, and it seems right down the track of "I'm OK with men wearing skirts -- just not my man." I think it's interesting that she remains critical even after you figured out that you didn't want to go the full TV route or otherwise "reclassify" yourself -- especially as you've shown resistance to those ideas (which may have been put forth in an attempt to put you off).

Obviously the dynamic is too complex to trivialise in a forum such as this, but it does sound like the classic case of an "open but shut mind". Guys with supportive wives and SOs should consider themselves highly fortunate; guys not in a stable relationship who openly challenge the notion that guys cannot wear skirts can use that to their advantage by way of it being an active "filter" that might weed out potential mates who would not be open-minded in the future.

[Milfmog]

Off on holiday to Egypt tomorrow and don't know whether to pack any skirts or not - probably not.

I wore my first skirt in Egypt; a sarong. I had burned the backs of my calves one day (fell asleep in the sun) and the following day a dive guide (female) suggested the sarong and lent one to me when she saw how uncomfortable I was in jeans. I wore it almost full time for the rest of the week (about 4 days).

Last time I was in Egypt I took a sarong and my Utilikilt. I wore the UK for going out to eat each evening and for the flights both ways with no issues at all. Both the kilt and the sarong were completely acceptable to the locals, though I got lots of Scotsman jokes while wearing the UK (almost entirely from the locals). The only comments I had about the sarong came from a “professional pillock” on the dive boat (it was really just a hamfisted jest, so I took it in the spirit it was intended) and from various others who kept pointing out that my wife had pinched my sarong again. She did that between dives more often than I could be bothered to count. Next time I’ll take at least two with me (sarongs, not wives ).

I sense some insecurity in your wife based on your comments, and it seems right down the track of "I'm OK with men wearing skirts -- just not my man." I think it's interesting that she remains critical even after you figured out that you didn't want to go the full TV route or otherwise "reclassify" yourself -- especially as you've shown resistance to those ideas (which may have been put forth in an attempt to put you off).

I’m with Carl on this. And I recognise the response from your wife. I have had some negativity and push back on occasions, but time and getting her really familiar with me being in a skirt around home, has led to progress. I rarely get any pushback from her now unless she’s feeling down about something else. A recent weekend in Newcastle when I wore my UK or a long black skirt most of the time was excellent. She saw how little concern anyone else had for my choice of clothing, in an environment away from home where she did not worry about being seen by anyone she knows. That experience has made her more comfortable about it around our home town; she had already pretty much accepted it, but now seems more relaxed than before.

Have fun,


Ian.