Great essay!

[ChrisM]

I recommend this essay: http://hubpages.com/hub/Wife-Wont-Let-Y ... ns-Clothes

Text follows:

"So, as you know, I spend a great deal of time telling my readers how wonderful it is for men to wear women's clothing, and how much they should indulge their fashion sense to its fullest limits. I do realize, however, that many men who like to wear women's clothing are very much restrained by other influences in their lives. These influences usually come in the form of women that the men in question want to remain married to or living with.

"Although, in an ideal world, men would wear whatever they wanted and women would be okay with it. (That might sound far fetched to you, but most women can wear whatever they want without the men in their lives being able to hold a negative opinion about it. In fact, the only women strictly bound by dress codes in the way almost all Western men are, are women who are subject to fundamentalist religion. Think on that men. The inequality may seem frivolous and unimportant, but it runs deeper than you may imagine.)

"Unfortunately we now live in a world in which men are often quite simply told what to do and what to wear by their female partners. If they do not comply, the female threatens to leave, and whether through a sense of love, or loyalty, or a desire to keep his children living under his roof, the man complies and promises either not to wear women's clothing, or to do so only in secret.

"Again. Imagine if Western women were told they could only wear what they wanted in private. There would be a revolution. There was a revolution. But men have not staged their revolution as yet, and so remain beholden to outdated norms.

"I cannot, however, in good conscience, blame men too harshly for this. A woman has a great deal of power in a relationship, especially if she's managed to marry a man and bear his kids before coming over all shrew like and controlling. Is wearing lingerie and a skirt worth losing half your assets and custody of your children over? No. No it's not. But I hope that this article is read by at least one woman who refuses to let her husband or partner be who he truly is, because I have this to say to them:

"You are missing out on the most intimate parts of the man in your life. You are pushing him away and forcing him to be what he is not. Your relationship will never be as deep or as connected as it could be because you are more interested in keeping up appearances than loving the realities of the man you're with.

"It's a tragedy, because you're trading the shallow for the meaningful, the frivolous for the deeply important. If you're currently living with that niggling voice in your head, the one that tells you life was supposed to be more than this, better than this, it may be because you've sold your soul, the part of yourself that wants to love and be loved for who you are, not what you wear.

"On your deathbed, you will not care about the fact that the neighbors always thought you were a nice couple, but you may find yourself caring about the fact you never really truly knew the man you loved. "

[nicothoe]

hmmmmm, interesting blog...must add it to my reader.

[Skirt Chaser]

Unfortunately we now live in a world in which men are often quite simply told what to do and what to wear by their female partners. If they do not comply, the female threatens to leave, and whether through a sense of love, or loyalty, or a desire to keep his children living under his roof, the man complies and promises either not to wear women's clothing, or to do so only in secret.

At first I was really put off by Hope Alexander's view of relationships. I would hate to think this happens often to anybody in a relationship disagreeing on any topic. Reading more of her posts at hubpages I got a better picture of her views and was pleased to see she tells men that they need to be upfront about their tastes- "I believe that it is also always the responsibility of the male to communicate his desires and indeed, the reality of who he is to the woman before serious commitments are made." A bunch of her articles are relevant to the Cafe and alternative fashions like this one http://hubpages.com/hub/Men-Advise-Men- ... Look-Manly.

[AMM]

I have to say, some of the things Hope writes have made me wonder what her background is. I've looked at her posts, and they seem like they could easily have been written by a cross-dressing man or maybe a trans woman (M2F transsexual.) While I certainly can't say that she wasn't born a girl, if she was, it seems odd that her writing contains so little of the experience of being female in our society, and so much about the experience and perspectives of men who want to wear clothing intended for women. I mean, if she's a woman and that obsessed with certain types of clothing on men (i.e., not herself), she must have some pretty strong responses to men dressed like that. I'd expect comments about how "hawt" they look, or how amusing, or something.

Instead, we get lots and lots of posts about how men should wear panties, and how they can get their wives to go along with it. Lots of posts about how cool it is for men to wear dresses and other feminine attire and how uncool it is that men "aren't allowed" to wear them. It really sounds like the sort of thing that M2F crossdressers write in CD fora, and that some men write here at SkirtCafe.

[skirted_in_SF]

I've been reading Hope's hubs for about two years now. Maybe a year or so ago she posted a couple of audio blogs. Unless she got someone else to do them for her, she is a woman with a fairly pronounced New Zealand accent. Yes, I realize several participants here would just consider that to be a normal voice.

I was surprised to see her work reposted here since much of what she writes is, shall we say, outside the scope of this board.

[Skirt Chaser]

Once I noticed Hubpages are designed as an ad revenue bloggy type site it made sense for Hope to post a lot about the topics she knows well and certainly generates interest. My vibe on her is that she is a woman who at some point had a boyfriend with non-mainstream clothing choices. As a fan of a skirted man I know the benefit of telling my guy he is not weird to me. Just as I am happy to be at the cafe giving the same message, she does a similar thing at Hubpages for a larger audience AND gets some click through money when a guy makes a purchase through one of the ads. Smart lady.

[AMM]

I have to say, some of the things Hope writes have made me wonder what her background is. I've looked at her posts, and they seem like they could easily have been written by a cross-dressing man or maybe a trans woman (M2F transsexual.)

It seems I am not the only reader of Hope's posts to have asked this question. Apparently enough people have wondered to lead Hope to post an article on the subject.