I Have Had Enough

[jamie001]

I wanted to make a public statement that I am leaving this forum Pythos was correct in that there is a lot of bigotry here. I was personally attacked by a member of this forum and the moderators didn't even remove his offending post. Therefore I must assume that the moderators condone and support such attacks.

Men will never achieve fashion freedom while maintaining bigotry towards other men that have a feminine flare. The problem in a nutshell is that this forum doesn't understand the definition of the word Crossdresser and assumes that any bloke that wears skirts in a "non-masculine" manner is a crossdresser. This forum assumes that any male that wears fem accessories ior makeup n addition to their skirts is a crossdresser. This is an incorrect assumption because we are not trying to deceive folks that we are women and we don't use feminine names. I am a bloke that likes skirts, high-heels, and makeup and that is all that there is to it. I am a feminine male and there are many other males like myself. The amount of bigotry here toward feminine males is overwhelming. It is a very good example of societies homophobia that is directed toward feminine males that in the overwhelming number of cases are heterosexual. It is simply a result of being closed-minded and bigotted.

Anyway, I assume that the moderators will remove my posts from this forum so that they can return to their fantasy world where only masculine men wear skirts and maintain a masculine appearance.

I also respectfully request that you delete my membership from this forum. I don't want to be publically associated with the bigotry that is condoned here.

[Bob]

Jamie,

There is nothing wrong with being a feminine male. However, this forum is not about that. This forum is about skirts and kilts for generally non-feminine men. Out of respect to long-standing members who came here for a forum about non-femine men, it needs to stay that way. These people may not be validating your needs, but that does not make them bigots.

I'm sorry SkirtCafe did not provide what you were looking for.

In any case, I'm about to launch a new site, freestylecafe.org, which may be more of what you are looking for. Would you be interested in becoming a moderator? In any case, you will be able to take an active role in defining what the forum is and is not about.

Sincerley,
-- Bob

[crfriend]

Jamie,

I have no idea whether you'll read this, or if you do, whether you'll take it to heart, but I hope you do, and I'm posting this openly so that others may learn something from it.

I recall the post that you so violently reacted to, and believe that if you'd re-read it you would have found that it wasn't name-calling at all, but rather advice offered in a cogent (if somewhat agitated) manner. This is a common pitfall for folks who may not read postings or other articles carefully; I've been guilty of that in the past, as, I'm sure, lots of others have been. The difference is that when confronted with something that I interpret as needlessly offensive I sit back and read it again to make sure I didn't read something into it that wasn't there, and then delay posting a rebuttal to make sure I can hit the salient points rather than attacking the messenger. Cautioning someone that he "looks like" or "appears as" a fool is not the same thing as saying that he is one; it's a gentle hint that maybe some reflection might be in order.

As far as asserting that the moderators and administrators of this site condone personal attacks, nothing could be farther from the truth. Bob's hand is one of the most even and thoughtful ones I've seen in many years; you do him (and the other admins) an apology for that accusation. It was off-base and factually deficient -- in short, it's an outright lie. That was another instance of ad-hominem behaviour that is discouraged in virtually all civilised communities.

Finally, the SkirtCafe community uses the term "crossdresser" quite differently than the general public -- we specifically link it to the flawed concept of transvestism (as defined in the DSM of psychiatry) because the two words are equivalent -- "transvestite" was a coined term by a thesis author who needed a "fancy" term for "crossdresser", a term already in use). The concept is flawed because it is only applied to men; by definition, then, women cannot crossdress and that, understandably, incenses quite a few of us here. So, the focus -- in this community -- is on men wearing skirted garments as men, in a male "mode". This linkage is not, to the best of my knowledge spelled out here anywhere easily found, and that's something that needs to be rectified (and is being worked on). So, calling the locals "crossdressers" was a bit like throwing gasoline on a smouldering fire.

[Bob]

So, calling the locals "crossdressers" was a bit like throwing gasoline on a smouldering fire.

Well put!