Last time I posted, it was about my first journey into London by public transport, wearing a black mini skirt and semi-opaque beige tights. Everything else was fairly masculine. I realised that you would have to look quite close to notice I was wearing a black skirt rather than black shorts (check yourself when you see a woman wearing a mid-thigh garment - with everything black, it isn't as easy to tell whether skirt or shorts), or to notice I was wearing tights. Of course, this doesn't sound like a problem: "Hey, if people don't notice me, then I can go about my business in my preferred outfit". But, it makes you think "yes, but have I 'got away with it' because no-one actually noticed what I wore; would there be a negative reaction if many more people noticed my clothing choices?".
Hence, I wanted to step it up a bit - in several stages. My feeling was that 1) this would test out whether people really would react, 2) allow me to enjoy trying more adventurous styles (get more of a rush from the risk I guess) and 3) if I start to feel I can "get away with" more adventurous clothing, then just going to the shops or lunch in a basic black mini and tights suddenly becomes something I can do with confidence with no more worries than if I were wearing trousers.
Here is what I did in a number of steps over maybe a year:
More visible tights:
Wearing black or effectively invisible tights is my default, but is also not very noticeable. So I tried some more obvious styles.
1. Grey textured tights with my usual black skirt. Worn to various places.
2. Black lace tights over opaque black tights - walked around a local high street. Much more feminine, but you would have to get close to notice though.
3. Black lace tights over opague grey tights - walked around a major shopping centre. This was a lot more visible and no-one could mistake me for wearing men's exercise leggings under shorts.
Trying a different mini skirt:
4. Beige A-line mini skirt with buttons down the front - visiting shops and the Wisley gardens. Where the black mini is styled like jeans with the usual jean pockets, and the colour makes it difficult to tell it is a skirt, there is no hiding a light coloured A-line that is closed with a virtical line of shiny buttons down the front!
Trying womens' shoes:
5. I bought some black ankle-strap ballet flats. Wore them with black tights. First in a local cafe, and then on a train trip to London. In the latter I wore the same black mini, with semi-sheer black tights (again a first, because it is obvious they are womens' tights, not exercise leggings). I initially chickened out and wore plimsoles, but then changed on the train when I realised no-one could see me where I was sat. I used the underground and visited museums a cafe and department stores in a clearly much more feminine combination that again, was much more obvious to anyone who looked.
6. I bought some grey T-strap closed-toe flats. Perfect fit (as were the above ballet flats). Again, very feminine. Wore them with grey tights to the supermarket.
Interacting more with people:
7. So far I'd had minimal interaction with people while dressed like this. I'd had to deal with sales staff at supermarkets, Halfords, B&Q, coffee shops, etc. But never at any length. These were interactions lasting seconds. I expanded this by first wearing my now usual black tights and black mini skirt (plimsoles and male top half) to the hospital for a scan. Hopefully I didn't make the staff feel uncomfortable. But it did show that, well, I am just me, whatever clothes I wear, and can hold my usual conversations with people. Thinking about this, I can have chatty conversations with doctors even during fairly intimate examinations - maybe that is a sign of age, when you are no longer self-conscious about being naked in front of medics.
8. Expanding on the above, I had an eye test booked. Again, that meant staying in the same place for over 30 minutes and dealing with several people face to face. I stepped up the clothing combination and wore the grey T-straps flats, with light-grey ribbed woolen tights and the black mini skirt. All interactions with everyone were completely normal. So I went for a coffee afterwards, and then went to a local bike shop and spoke to the owner. The staff in the bike shop did a slight double-take, but that was it. Then again, given modern cycling gear, it would be a case of the pot calling the kettle black to point out that I was dressed strangely.
Ramping up the Womens' shoes:
9. What I hadn't tried so far was heels. I found a used pair of really nice, black, block-heel (about 2.5 inch), suede, closed-toe, T-strap shoes. Wonderful fit, and I feel they look really good on me, especially with some black ribbed tights. So, took these out to a visit to a supermarket and a short walk down the highstreet of a local town in them and my beige A-line mini skirt. Fantastic feeling! And again, no obvious reaction from anyone. I'm sure there were a load of double-takes, maybe even some people mumbling to each other, and undoubtedly people telling their friends what they saw in town today, but to my face / in ear-shot, nothing!
I think I said it before, but if you look confident, that puts people on the back foot - scammers use confidence to trick otherwise sensible people out of their money, so we are easily fooled by confident people, and I think that has a big impact. Plus, the second fear is "how will this person react if I say anything / react in any way?". If you are not skulking around looking weak and defensive, people may be concerned you could turn aggressive! This combination likely keeps them quiet.
So, I will say, I am really enjoying my skirting experiences, and enjoying experiencing them in more places. It goes to show that those initial fears we have are pretty much unfounded. Behave normally, behave with confidence and I also think, put together an outfit that looks good on you, and you will get away with anything!
Cheers,
Camperguy.