A little observation I made today re: confidence (Eureka)

[moonshadow]

My first time out in a skirt, I must admit, my head constantly looked down. I know I was emitting a vibe of someone who felt "out of place" as I would hurry from one side of every room to the other. If any of you ever have watched the movie Napoleon Dynamite, with his overall awkwardness, this pretty well describes my first day skirted in public.

Also on this first day I noticed most of the ugly looks, snares, and nasty mumbles others were making.

By my third time out, I didn't notice anything, in fact, I was being very social, cutting up with people at checkouts, nodding my head at passer-by's, grinning, laughing, and just generally being myself. I noticed people seemed to treat me better.

What changed?

I had a eureka moment today while pumping gas at work. I looked across the pumps to the payment kiosk and I saw a young lady who was paying for her fuel. She was dressed in a dress, and I would say had an over all attractive appearance. But as I looked at the expression on her face, she struck me as snobbish. Well, that wasn't the word I was going to use, but I don't know if I can say what she seemed like to me on this site. But generally, just had an overall look of a person that would snub her nose up as you walked by, and wouldn't so much as give you the time of day. Despite her attractive appearance, I was put off by her mean vibe, and decided that this woman was one to be avoided.

I then realized that I don't think it's so much what we wear that justifies how society handles us, but rather, how we conduct ourselves. This woman was after all, very attractive, and yet I, a heterosexual man was absolutely repulsed by her overall demeanor. So I'd encourage anyone reading this, next time you skirt out, muster up as much of your normal everyday attitude as you can and see how society treats you. My personal try with this netted positive results. Try not to be a Napoleon Dynamite, just be yourself. It's just clothes... really that's all it is. You're wearing a skirt, not sacrificing babies on an altar, or robbing little old ladies.

I mean... lets just take a step back and look at the big picture here, is it really that big of a deal? I think we make it more of a big deal that the vast majority of the public does. I write this not to come off as some kind of a jerk, but rather, these are the things I tell myself every Saturday to get me out of the front door and into society with a skirt on...

I hope these tidbits may help another man do the same...

[Caultron]

...If any of you ever have watched the movie Napoleon Dynamite, with his overall awkwardness, this pretty well describes my first day skirted in public...

..By my third time out, I didn't notice anything, in fact, I was being very social, cutting up with people at checkouts, nodding my head at passer-by's, grinning, laughing, and just generally being myself. I noticed people seemed to treat me better...

Exactly.

[Sinned]

I'm at the stage where it's not a big deal and something I accept as natural. I make no apologies for my skirt wearing and don't make a swcret of it but to a certain person close to me it does seem to be a bigger issue. I still hope to change her view on this.

[JeffB1959]

Can't say I'm surprised, moonshadow. Like with that woman who exhibited that snobbish vibe you described, by acting nervous and awkward, you attract the attention of people who, out of curiosity, instinctively wonder what the deal is with you, thus, unwanted attention. However, by acting calm and cool as if what you're wearing is no big deal (and, in the greater scheme of things, it isn't), people will leave you alone.

[Caultron]

I'm at the stage where it's not a big deal and something I accept as natural. I make no apologies for my skirt wearing and don't make a swcret of it but to a certain person close to me it does seem to be a bigger issue. I still hope to change her view on this.

Hang in there. Everything's temporary if you give it enough time.

[TheSkirtedMan]

A good eureka moonshadow.

I always try and engage with others in my vicinity like checkouts as an example but there seems to be quite a few people out there, men and women, like the woman you encountered. If I meet too many in one day I tend to start to mutter to my wife about them and become less enthused but she always says smile, keep at it because the next one may not be.

I do think what you have said does pay off as I frequently end up talking to someone but I also see the type of woman you mention, men and women, far too often. It doesn't always work but if you see them often enough and as my wife says, keep chipping at them, quite often they do give in and smile/talk back, not always, perhaps only those having a temporary off day! My wife is far more keen on talking to these type of people than I am after a couple of times I tend to say to myself "oh sod off misery".

[moonshadow]

A good eureka moonshadow.

I always try and engage with others in my vicinity like checkouts as an example but there seems to be quite a few people out there, men and women, like the woman you encountered. If I meet too many in one day I tend to start to mutter to my wife about them and become less enthused but she always says smile, keep at it because the next one may not be.

I do think what you have said does pay off as I frequently end up talking to someone but I also see the type of woman you mention, men and women, far too often. It doesn't always work but if you see them often enough and as my wife says, keep chipping at them, quite often they do give in and smile/talk back, not always, perhaps only those having a temporary off day! My wife is far more keen on talking to these type of people than I am after a couple of times I tend to say to myself "oh sod off misery".

I generally try to bring people out of bad moods and cheer people up, however this woman was more of a snotty attitude. That's one weakness of mine. People who act stuck up I simply avoid. She had the look that she was tired of being hit on, despite wearing a provocative dress. So, in response, I gave her exactly what she seemed to want. I totally looked the other way and ignored her.

Besides, I like more "average" women anyway. Not really much on girls who think they're all that. Excessive ego is a turn off... I find a touch of humility attractive. And I don't mean women who constantly complain that they are too fat, or too this, or too that. No, I just like a woman who's happy with who she is, but also is aware of the fact that she's not Gods gift to mankind.

[TheSkirtedMan]

People who act stuck up I simply avoid.

Likewise, the arrogant and the show offs. We came to this planet the same and we'll leave the same. It's how you are in life that matters to me. These I love to stand in their vicinity and ignore as I know my, presence, perhaps others as well, makes them feel superior due to their body language. Engaging with others, the same ones they too are 'snooty' with is a bonus and this often works as the other person picks up their 'snooty' vibes. My wife will have an attempt of polite passing acknowledgment like "hello" or "Good morning" etc but just walks away if blanked. The both of us on the whole are quiet happy to acknowledge anyone, a basic form of hello as one briefly passes through life, taking it further if the other wishes. Man or woman, fat or thin, bald or hairy, tattooed or not is irrelevant. To be at least offering a minimum basic human decency and respect but we differ with the 'snooty' or negative body language. I ignore instantly.