Is it our duty?

[Sarongman]

I have, twice, while going skirted, been told by both a woman and a teenage girl that their husband, in the first case and father in the second, wears skirts or sarongs in the privacy of their own home and they wished the men in question had the courage of their convictions and would wear same publicly. (Good Girls!)

I know there are members of this forum who haven't yet gone public, and it is a nearly overwhelming step--until you've done it. Many men, on the beach, will wear their beach towel as a sarong (but don't tell them that, or the sky will fall) There must be a much larger contingent of "wannabes" out there without the guts to actually do this amazing thing. I think it could well be our duty to BE out there portraying a male skirted look, which may actually jolt them into trying a public outing for the sake of it. Although, as a (controversial) caveat, I do think the more "femme" look does our cause no great good in this regard.

[Caultron]

Granted, it would be much easier to wear skirts in public if the sight were more common.

It's too bad that there's no organization to publicize the idea, organize conventions, generate publicity, declare National Men In Skirts Day, and so forth.

Celebrities in skirts would help, but I think it would take much more than one appearance. Michael Jordon did a lot to promote and legitimize earrings for men, but only because he wore his continually.

Meetups would help as well. I know it would be much easier for me to wear a skirt in public if I were with others doing the same thing. If it's somewhere with a chance of being in the newspaper or on TV, so much the better (but also so more the nerve, I realize).

cauldron

[crfriend]

Granted, it would be much easier to wear skirts in public if the sight were more common.

This, unfortunately, is a circular argument that will guarantee that things never change. As Ghandi was rumoured to have said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." I doubt that truer words have ever been spoken.

Is it tough? You bet! Especially the first few times; it gets easier after a while and eventually becomes second-nature. Will you get the occasional bit of grief for it? Possibly; however, if you are strong and confident the odds are small. Will folks try to make trouble for you behind your back? Possibly, but it will only be the lowest of cowards who will.

In short, if you want the world to change, some of the onus falls on you. Hold your head high and step out the door; you have nothing to lose but your chains.

(Not that I'm a good example today as I'm wearing trousers. My excuse is pouring, driving, rain and almost 50 MPH wind gusts.)

[skirtyscot]

Is it our duty? No. But nobody else is going to lead by example!

Nobody apart from a few famous men, that is. C'lebs in skirts are a help. Mark Jacobs, Eddie Izzard and the rest of them. Every photo of a skirted man in the papers is another step on the way to making the image normal. The best ones are the ones who don't look all designer-y and up themselves, but simply like they felt like wearing a skirt instead of trousers that day.

As for the femme look not helping, what exactly do you mean by that? Tights, for example? True, it is very rare to see a picture of a skirted man wearing tights. It's bare legs or under-trousers, almost without exception. But round my way it's cold at this time of year, so I cover my legs with a long skirt or tights. Tights must help to draw attention to the fact that I am in a skirt, but I reckon that what registers with people is just that I am a man in a skirt. Few observers will think much about the tights, far less think that my outfit would be less outre without them. The alternative would be me not doing my duty, and that would be terrible!

[rick401r]

I have, twice, while going skirted, been told by both a woman and a teenage girl that their husband, in the first case and father in the second, wears skirts or sarongs in the privacy of their own home and they wished the men in question had the courage of their convictions and would wear same publicly. (Good Girls!)
.

It seems to me these wives and daughters should be the ones encouraging their husbands and fathers to go public.

[Caultron]

Granted, it would be much easier to wear skirts in public if the sight were more common.

This, unfortunately, is a circular argument that will guarantee that things never change.

Granted on the circular argument, except I didn't say it was impossible to wear skirts in public without more men first doing so -- only more difficult. And it does provide hope that appearing skirted in public would get easier if more men did it.

I also included a few suggestions for making the practice more common. But I agree that those are difficult or unlikely, and that the most immediate step we can take right now is simply to appear in public ourselves.

caultron

[partlyscot]

It is one of those chicken and egg situations, it would be easier to go out in a skirt if others were already doing it, and I'm fairly certain that if I started doing it at work, more would follow. As a cyclist, i have found it to be true, that cycling in the city becomes safer and more pleasant the more of us do it. When I've got this apartment move over and done, I certainly intend to purchase a kilt, and approach the management about wearing it to work. Baby steps.

As for the femme look? Depends what you're talking about. Wearing falsies, and cultivating a female outline, that's something else, and at the very least, confuses the issue. On the other hand, i have seen several pictures on here of guys wearing outfits that....just don't sit well with me. I have come realize that most of that is simply because i am not programmed to see men dressed that way. I think a kilt works, and some classic looking pleated skirts, even some long skirts i could see myself wearing. It's interesting for me to analyze my reactions to various styles, I would say that I'm allergic to looking too "girly" but then i get into what is girly, and why i think that girly is negative. For me, i don't like frilly and fluffy, I don't usually go for it on a woman either.

Some of this is "It's just clothing" Some of it is considering on what defines male and female, masculinity and femininity, and what that says about society and our roles in it. Skirt wearing is not the last word on this, but it can generate some useful discussions, and maybe some useful reconsiderations of roles and behaviors.

[Caultron]

I'm fairly certain that if I started doing it at work, more would follow.

Any idea who those others might be? Maybe you could organize an unofficial skirt day.

caultron

[Caultron]

As for the femme look? Depends what you're talking about. Wearing falsies, and cultivating a female outline, that's something else, and at the very least, confuses the issue.

I, too, have no interest in wigs, makeup, bras, blouses dresses, pantyhose, high heels, purses, and so forth. I accept others going for that but I just don't.

I do have earrings and wear a pony tail, but I also have a full beard and male-pattern baldness that I don't cover up. As a result, I don't think I apprear feminine.

Some years ago (maybe 25?) I screwed around with panties and pantyhose, but I never went public except under long pants and calf-length socks. And after a few months of that it got old and I drifted away.

I can't remember when I first started thinking about wearing a skirt, but it's been a long time. I only just now did anything about it. It's mostly about the freedom and the experience and the shock value, and not at all about looking like a woman. The fact that skirts are considred feminine is an annoyance to me, and not an objective.

caultron

[partlyscot]

I'm fairly certain that if I started doing it at work, more would follow.

Any idea who those others might be? Maybe you could organize an unofficial skirt day.

caultron

Possible, they are looking for fun theme days, maybe something along the lines of that thing in India. i know one guy dressed up at Halloween ( in the store ) as a hooker, not the idea I want to promote. 2 others wore full on kilt outfits at the Christmas party, another used to wear a utilikilt, at least in backstock area and at the pub, he's left now. Will think on this, I want to have an honest approach, not just suggest it and use it for my own ends, but on the other hand, I'm hesitant at straight out admitting I'm a little nervous to be first and only.

[Sarongman]

It seems to me these wives and daughters should be the ones encouraging their husbands and fathers to go public

They may well be encouraging their S.O.s to go out skirted. There was, for some years, actively. on this forum, a member who went under the title of "Quiet Mouse" who tried valiantly to get her "quiet man" to go out in his skirts This, it seemed was to no avail.

While I am not slagging off those who wish to explore the "femme" effect, I am just considering this from the standpoint of someone, maybe as conservative (in a myriad ways, though also in some, "off the wall") as myself. Such a look may set back their "stepping out" by some margin, and then, if they consider their own options, maybe not.

[crfriend]

While I am not slagging off those who wish to explore the "femme" effect, I am just considering this from the standpoint of someone, maybe as conservative (in a myriad ways, though also in some, "off the wall") as myself. Such a look may set back their "stepping out" by some margin, and then, if they consider their own options, maybe not.

From a personal perspective, I tend to look at the matter more from the lens of whether a particular "look" is believeable or not -- i.e. does it look natural and "right" on the person wearing it. This will, of necessity, vary from individual to individual and from setting to setting. To me, the thrust should be to put outfits together that speak to our own inner selves, express the notion outwardly, yet still look natural and unforced, with some emphasis on "unforced". The notion of "forcing" I think might be best expressed by the mixing a numerous "hyper-masculine" items with a skirt to "offset" the skirt; the offset should not be required if the entire thing is deftly put together.

I've received some stick here in the past over some of my rigs, but I have never been accused of "trying to look like a woman" (mainly because that's simply not possible); what I have always tried to do is put together cogent rigs that appeal to my own aesthetic sense in a way that looks "right" on me.

In the context above, "femme" only has a place if that's what appeals to one and that's what one is comfortable with -- and if it is, then it makes sense. Will it "help the 'cause'"? Does it matter?

I will posit that it does not, and here's why: Guys, for the most part, tend to be very "earthy" types; they're typically (and, yes, I am generalising here) competent technicians (in a broad sense) who just get things done with a minimum of fuss -- and this usually applies to what they clothe themselves in. Frills and frippery are almost universally eschewed, save for certain "status bits" like watches and other functional things. However, this need not be the case; history is replete with examples of blokes making lavish use of things like lace and velvet. So, if that's what you're comfortable with, and you can carry it with confidence and style, why the ruddy hell NOT cultivate it? I think the ultimate arbiter of this argument might be to look at yourself in a photograph (mirrors tend to taint the image) and say to yourself, "Would I wear this to work?"

[Kirbstone]

I like your bottom line, Carl.

For me there are two distinct dress codes: 1/ for work, and 2/ for leisure. For me, work attire is divided into presentation/chat very conventional clean-cut professional appearance and gowned up for nitty-gritty Operatory knife & fork attack mode (in the nicest possible way!)

Leisure attire depends on what I'm doing and the season/ambient temperature. Skirting comes firmly under this latter heading and is indulged in just to please myself, not others, so one can argue that it is a selfish pursuit/hobby.

T.

[crfriend]

For me there are two distinct dress codes: 1/ for work, and 2/ for leisure. For me, work attire is divided into presentation/chat very conventional clean-cut professional appearance and gowned up for nitty-gritty Operatory knife & fork attack mode (in the nicest possible way!)

In the case of certain professions who must deal with folks who "may not be at their best" this is prudent, and is the right thing to do. In this case, it's all about the patient and not about the doctor. I am fortunate in that my "patients" aren't sentient feeling creatures, although I sometimes treat them so.

Leisure attire depends on what I'm doing and the season/ambient temperature. Skirting comes firmly under this latter heading and is indulged in just to please myself, not others, so one can argue that it is a selfish pursuit/hobby.

But the general argument still applies, although it might be altered to read, "Would I wear this to the local pub?" In my prior comment I used "work" to invoke a sense of shock and awe about the importance of not having something look outlandish.

[Vince5680]

It is interesting that the woman & girl told you about the closet men in skirts.
Now that I have come out to my close family. I was talking to my daughter about the looks I sometimes get from men. She said they are probably only jealous! So I may even help a few others to get out there, if I get out there myself more often!