Dear Abby!

[DALederle]

I don't know if anyone else read this but several days ago Dear Abby ran a letter in her column from a man who lkes to wear skirts. The letter gave a really good point of view froma man who simply feels better in a skirt then a pair of pants. This is not the first letter of this type that Dear Abby ran.
But in her reply she said something like, "If you have the legs for it then there's no reason why a man shouldn't wear a skirt." That's not a direct quote, I lost the item I had been saving to write this. But I think it's very close to what she wrote.
In otherwords, according to Dear Abby, if your legs look "right" (feminine?) then it would be okay to wear a skirt. Huh?
How about all the millions of women that are out of shape or have ugly legs. No one would dare tell them they can't or shouldn't wear a skirt or dress if they wanted too. In our current culture no one(except some work places) would tell them how much leg they could show too.
Ugly legs is one reason why women wear pantyhose, stockings and tights under their skirts and dresses.
Now when a man put on a skirt or kilt it is almost for sure that he isn't going to have feminine looking legs. Our bodies are different. Our leg muscles are different. Why should a man in a skirt be looked at the same way a women in a skirt is looked at? It's mixing apples and oranges.
I've seen many pictures of men in complete outfits and they looked fine. Not feminine but masculine, just wearing outfights normally associated with women.
So why does Dear Abby limit us to having to have the right "look" before we can wear skirts?
Is it just her pre-conceived notion at work?
Should she open her eyes and mind to new ideas?
Dennis A. Lederle

[Pythos]

The same reason obese people should refrain from wearing catsuits, or even spandex. It is a style that requires a "proper" build.

There are definitely women out there that simply look awful in skirts due to "misshapen" legs.

As with every style, there is a build that works best with it.

I honestly can say I very rarely see differences in the overall appearance of men's legs to women's legs. I think the difference is all in our minds.

[Kris]

Here's a link to the article:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20081231

DEAR JOE: Gossip is the province of small-minded people, and it is sad that your relatives have used the fact that you have chosen to be different as an opportunity to spread malicious falsehoods.

As long as you have the testicular fortitude and shapely enough legs to wear skirts, then you have my blessing. Some men's clothing designers have been trying for years to revive skirts as part of men's wardrobes. Because fashion trends not only change but often revolve, who's to say you're not on the leading edge of what's to come?

I wouldn't read too much into her "testicular fortitude and shapely enough legs" comment. I think it was just humor. She is generally very open minded.

Kris

[Since1982]

The same reason obese people should refrain from wearing catsuits, or even spandex. It is a style that requires a "proper" build.

That's deeply insulting, how about just suggesting obese people refrain from living period. A proper build huh..proper to who? Spandex is part of many types of tights too. No tights for obese people. Anything else we shouldn't allow obese people to do, have or wear??

[Inertia]

The same reason obese people should refrain from wearing catsuits, or even spandex. It is a style that requires a "proper" build.

There are definitely women out there that simply look awful in skirts due to "misshapen" legs.

Goodness, but you sound judgemental, Pythos! I hope some day you fall madly in love with a woman whom everyone else thinks looks "awful" because of her "misshapen legs", and whom you adore as the most gorgeous creature on Earth.


Cheers,

Jill

[Pythos]

Inertia, you read too much into my statement.

I will be honest, I find morbid obesidy to be a very sad state of affairs. Most of my relatives were morbidly obese, and as a consequence had inumerable health problems. I have a friend who is also much heavier than she should be, her hips are failing, her back is a wreck, and her heart is not that great...she is 35.

I don't like to see morbidly obese people because it is one more person who has their bodies to go completely out of control, usually from the intake of too many fatty foods.

That being said, I lament the fact that the demise of spandex styles can be traced directly back to overweight people being jealous of the more "fit" people showing off their bodies. Some took the bull by the horns and went out wearing the styles, and most did it well, others...not so much. But the ones the really ruined it were the ones that referred to wearers of such stuff sluts, and whores and so on.

I might fall for a woman that does not fit societies description of beauty. Hell I did. I loved this girl in high school who some of my friends said had eyes that were too far apart, and she wore glasses. Ooo, horrors upon horrors.

When it comes to weight, I do have a preferred range. If a woman is big, but healthy, I don't mind. If a woman is big and unhealthy, then I get skittish. If she is obese and has numerous health problems, chances are I will run, unless she has a really good personality. Don't go and get upset with me with this last line. I am being honest and admitting I have a prejudice. Which many people do not actually do not admit to.

[Since1982]

Inertia's right, you're just wayy too judgemental for someone so young. You, (if you're lucky) have a lot of life ahead of you. Things change, maybe they won't for you, but maybe they will, and not for the better. Everyone that's young and fit doesn't always stay that way, some do, most don't. Most people are overweight to some degree by the time they're 35. Some even sooner. When I was 24 I was a Gunnery Sgt. in Vietnam, in perfect health and judgemental of others not so lucky as me. I learned the hard way not to be that way. Hopefully, you'll learn the easy way.

[cessna152towser]

Yes, we learn as we grow older. My first wife was violent to me and I had to get away yet with hindsight her problem was post natal depression and she has proved a perfect mother to our daughter. My second wife was young enough and fit when we married that we planned on having children together yet soon after we married she was diagnosed with diabetes which led to a series of strokes and now as we approach our 25th anniversary she is confined to a wheelchair, but I wouldn't leave her because it is not her fault that she can no longer be the companion she once was.

[Pythos]

I love this... really.
I am judgemental because I dislike something that is becoming a serious health problem in our society. Have I not made clear it is MORBID OBESITY that I am "judgemental" about. That friend of mine with the failing hips, I recall having a chat with her about her health. While saying to me she could not help her size, and that she was big boned, I kid you not, she was packing down a bag of Ruffles potato chips, by the end of the conversation a party sized bag of Ruffles was in her belly. I was kind and did not state what Dennis leary said when it comes to overweight people in response to the line "I'm big boned" His response "YOUR BIG ASSED!!! Maybe if you stopped horkin down all those greasy burgers, and fries, and maybe order a kid's meal, you might lose some tons."

I could have told her this in a much nicer way, but I didn't, because she knew the real reason for her health problems, she just chose to not do anything about it.

My roommate, who really "ballooned" (her term) when she reached 28. She used to be a healthy weight, then all of a sudden she could no longer fit into her chenonsam. She still can't, and most likely will never again. But she realized that it was her consumption of High Fructose Corn Syrup (a bane to our society), that was causing this increase in her weight. What finally had her cut back was the pain she was getting in her legs, and hips (seems a really badly designed part of the body).

My metabolism has slowed down, so in response my intake of food has decreased, I have eliminated greasy snacks as regular meals, I have cut back on sugar, I have removed soft drinks from my diet for the most part. I don't eat at Mac Donalds or other fast food joints every day. When I get into one of my catsuits and see a bit of belly bulge, I cut back a bit more and throw in some exercise. I am 36 years of age, which I know is not that old, but it is around the age the metabolism slows down. I do not ever want a big belly like my grandpa had, it contributed to failure of his hips when he was 60 years old, but the failure started to happen when he was 50. I remember all the modifications he made to the Mustang just so he could still get in and out of it without further hurting his hips. Becoming big like that is not for me.

I acknowledge the fact there are hormonal problems that occur. But I have to ask this. Why is the rate of Obesity so low in counties that lack food? The Western diet is killing us. We eat meat that has been treated with growth hormones, we consume High Fructose Corn Syrup like water, it is in nearly everything we eat.

If I ever do get heavier, due to problems beyond my control. I will stop wearing lycra. I do not like how guys with beer guts, or "spare tires" look in the material, and do not want to look like that.

Yes I am judgmental. I get what facts I can about something and I make a judgment on said info. I am also flexible in changing my position when it comes to new info. Being judgmental has helped me in several potentially hazardous situations, or the complete avoidance of said hazards. I have yet to hear anything positive about Morbid Obesity, just very negative info.

On that note, I am not a fan of overly thin conditions, this is also a health risk. Saying that I never understood the hoopla about Kate Moss, she never appealed to me. Christina Applegate aka Kelly Bundy is still beautiful to me, even now, and she is quite a bit different and may I say heavier than she was when portraying Al Bundys ditzy daughter.

I hope this clarifies my stance for you.

[Kris]

On that note, I am not a fan of overly thin conditions, this is also a health risk.

Then again, there's this:
http://www.calorierestriction.org/

Not promoting it. I just thought it was interesting and apropos.

Kris

[Since1982]

Must be nice to be perfect. Although methinks
all your perfection is in your mind. You really need a
dose of reality. Join the Armed Services
go through basic training, you'd
be amazed how perfect
You're not!

[sapphire]

Pythos,
In the "Perception", thread you discussed being judgemental against overweight people. That's not only judgemental, but a prejudice.. You say that you have been averse to prejudice since you were a "weee lad". I don't see that in any of your posts on the subject.

There is a difference being making a judgement call in bad situation and passing judgement on a person because of their appearance. When you pass judgement on a person for that person's appearance, you are letting your prejudices loose. You'' pass judegment and avoid certain contacts wwith that person. That is discrimination.

Overweight/obese people are discriminated against. They have harder times finding jobs, for example. This is well documented. There have been court cases that have been won by overweight/obese people who were discriminated against. Some of those suits have been against various airlines.

What you seem not to know is that some people can't help being overweight. There are some medical conditions that are treated with drugs that have weight gain as a documented side effect. The most well known among these medications are certain medications used to treat depression and bi-polar disorder.

The question then becomes which is better, having a hot bod and strong suicidal tendencies, or being a happy, functioning overweight/obese person? Or are you also judgemental about mental illness?

Without knowing the person, one can not tell the difference between medication induced obesity and obesity caused by overconsumption of food.

You also stated that you would run from a woman who has multiple medical problems and is obese. What if the multiple medical problems occurred before the obesity and the obesity was caused by side effects of medication?

I would urge you to put aside your prejudices and not rush to judgement and discrimination.

[Pythos]

I give up.

There is just no way for me to explain what I am trying to say without it being twisted in such a way that makes me into a real jerk.

FINE!!! I am prejudice!!! On top of that, I am a jack ass!!!

It doesn't matter anymore, my living situation is changing in a way that I will not be able to wear a skirt anymore. Due to this economic BS I have to move back in with my mom. So on top of the other titles here, I am also a loser.

[crfriend]

I give up. [...]

It doesn't matter anymore, my living situation is changing in a way that I will not be able to wear a skirt anymore. Due to this economic BS I have to move back in with my mom. So on top of the other titles here, I am also a loser.

Pythos, be glad that you still have family when times get bad -- be very glad; things will change in ways you cannot comprehend when they're gone. Things may stink in having to move back in with them now, but they'd stink one heck of a lot worse if you didn't have that safety-net.

Recall, too, that skirt-wearing is only one tiny facet of who you are; if it's more than just a facet, then I think you're putting too much weight on it. Humans are too complex to be defined by one thing and one thing alone; don't box yourself in.

And as far as "giving up" goes, don't. You may need to refine your internally-held views a bit, or at least put them slightly differently in public, but "giving up" is not a realistic option in many circumstances.

[FloralSkirt]

I AM LUCKY. I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY MANY DIFFERENT WOMEN THAT I HAVE THE LEGS TO WEAR A SKIRT. Of course I shave my legs in the summer.