Why I want to wear skirts!

[DALederle]

Surprisingly I have an almost perfect reason for wearing a skirt.
I get a severe rash between my legs when wearing pants.
It comes and goes and I have to be really careful about which type of pants I wear and how long I wear them.
It started when I was just 2-1/2 years old and woke up screming at 2 a.m. one night. This was while my dad was still in the Army during WWII. I had a rash throughout my lower body, from the waist down to my ankles. It was caused by the indigo blue dye from a brand new pair of blue jeans (which I called cowboy pants). Since that time I cannot waer blue jeans and I personally shudder every time I see someone wearing a pair.
My mother's solution to the problem, after I had been bathed in calomine lotion(the only treatment back then) was to put me in hand me down girls clothes barrowed from my older, girl, cousin. So I wore a lot of skirts and dresses as a little boy and my mother even taught me to say to people, "Hi! My Name Is Alice!" Which is the name of my old web site on MSN that I've had for 11 years now and the name of a new site I just started on Multiply since MSN is going away.
In fact it is one of the greatest sarrows of my adult life that EVERYONE I know wears "blue" jeans. Come on people, that is just plain stupid. The same color, over and over again with no variety at all. Personally I'm sick of seeing them.
But that's just me.
Now I can wear "jeans" in the form of denim pants. White, brown and black jeans are all okay, so far.
But every day of my life I wake up and have to force myself to put my legs into any pants I wear. My fear is that bad.
If I could make all trousers and pants go away I would.
But, sigh, I can't.
Though my alergy is dye specific, to indigo or anil blue dye I have found a smaller version of the same rash breaking out when I've been wearing other types of pants.
So far anything in nylon or soft cotton, like sweat pants are okay.
But I really don't like having to wear any kind of pants for any reason.
But this is, so far, just me.
I've never met anyone with this same rash or problem. It doesn't mean others out there haven't had the same problem. It is no more less probable then allergies of any other type, wether latex or peanuts. But no one else I've ever known HATES blue jeans the way I do. And the joke on me is that my wife, of the last 24 years whom I love with all my heart, loves to wear blue jeans and that would be all she would wear given the choice in the matter.
So I really hate pants and have a very good reason to do so.
I know there's some women on this board.
How would you feel if you HAD to put on something every day of your life that you not only feared but hated. I've heard women complain about having to wear skirts and dresses. Do any women hate wearing skirts because they were forced to wear them all their lives?
Any way, that's why I'd like to wear skirts full time and never have to deal with pants ever again.
Dennis

p.s.
I've been posting about this subject on the internet for about 11 years now, since I first got web TV in 1998 and joined both Tom's Cafe and Chris' Atrium. If you check some archieves I'll bet you find many posts by me there. I've just been busy with extreme health problems the last few years, which led to my retirement, prematurely.
COPD in the form of emphysema combined with congestive heart failure.

[Milfmog]

Surprisingly I have an almost perfect reason for wearing a skirt.

I have an absolutely perfect reason for wearing a skirt - I want to. I really don't need any other reason.

That's not to ignore or in anyway belittle your reason, I do feel for you. I can not imagine what it would be like to have an allergy that strong and have absolutely no wish to find out.

Have fun,


Ian.

[crfriend]

I have an absolutely perfect reason for wearing a skirt - I want to. I really don't need any other reason.

I could not have put it better myself.

The entire notion of, "because I want to" in an adult context indicates that one has control over himself and his immediate surroundings. It speaks of confidence and power. So, if you want to wear a skirted outfit, just do it: you need no more of an "excuse" than, "why not?".

[miniskirt07]

Yes Im the same when I wear jeans and i found there some rash like stratch on my legs - quite sore when I was in the shower that i didnt know the rash was there and changed to wear soft tights and skirt that give me very comfortable and my skin seem much better - im the same to careful what Im wear with fabric. Just wear skirt if you habe problems with pants - remember it your clothes to wear, no one tell you what to do so enjoy wear skirt.

[tooslowprius]

There are some many reason a man could list for wanting to wear a skirt. I think a few of mine would be:

• 1.) becuase I am a guy and I can wear what I want just like women can!
  2.) Becuase a skirt is far more comfortable to wear than pant's even if you do wear your skirt with some sort of leg wear it's still more comfortable!
  3.) See number 1!

I have for so long strugled with the in equallity that exist between men and women I just figured what the hell if a women can wear my pants I can wear her skirts if I want!

[sapphire]

Dennis,
I can answer your question, from a woman's point of view, regarding having to wear something I hated. While I do not necessarily hate wearing skirts or dress, I hate being forced to wear them. I hate not having the option.

For the entire time that I was in public school, girls were not allowed to wear trousers. In grade school, we could wear our snow pants under our skirts and we were forced to remove the snowpants in the hallway. We were allowed to wear boots on bad days. The whole get up was ugly and we were teased about it.

In junior and senior high school, in another school district, we were not allowed to wear pants under our skirts. It was considered more ladylike to get frostbite. We were allowed to wear boots. BTW the way the school district and the exact same high school is the one that gave us Sam Alito. Figures.

I did have slacks but they were only allowed for outdorr play or camping. This change of heart came about after I ruined several nice dresses while playing "too hard". I didn't get my first pair of jeans until I was a second semester high school senior. They were wheat colored and I loved them, probably because they were "forbidden fruit".

Until I left home, I was required to wear skirts and dresses to church. The one exception was church camp.

What I felt was just like what I've seen posted so many times on this forum: I do not want to be told what to wear. I want to choose, whether it be stylish or frumpy.

Sapphire

[crfriend]

There are some many reason a man could list for wanting to wear a skirt. I think a few of mine would be:

• 1.) becuase I am a guy and I can wear what I want just like women can!

I don't want to sound completely pugnacious about this, but that sounds more like whining than anything else. Making matters worse, the more that "excuse" is deployed the shriller and more forced it sounds. Yes, women can wear pretty much what they want, when they want to (within certain bounds) -- and it means precisely dick when it comes to changing western society's notion about skirted garments on males.

2.) Becuase a skirt is far more comfortable to wear than pant's even if you do wear your skirt with some sort of leg wear it's still more comfortable!

This argument holds water. It works because it's not whining about something we perceive to be out of our control, but rather talks to something that is within our control, and within our direct experience. That it's within our direct experience allows us to talk about it with authority and confidence -- something that a casual onlooker likely won't have. Think about this for a moment. Which sounds more convincing to a questioner who just asked, "Hey buddy, what's with the skirt?" -- "I find skirts more comfortable than trousers." or "Women can wear skirts, why can't I?" ?

3.) See number 1!

See my comment above.

I have for so long strugled with the in equallity that exist between men and women I just figured what the hell if a women can wear my pants I can wear her skirts if I want!

Equality is a wonderful ideal, and we're getting closer as time progresses. We're still not there yet -- women still make about 85 to 90 cents on the dollar for what guys make in the same job -- but things are closing in. As far as clothing goes, guys already have the "right" to wear what they wish. Of course if they stray outside the "commonly accepted societal norms" they're likely to get ridiculed, but women got ridiculed for wearing trousers years ago as well.

I suppose the whole thing could be summed up -- in a "sound-bite" -- by, "Stop whining and start wearing". Will we take some lumps for it along the way? Likely, yes. So did the women who first started wearing trousers in public.

Whilst railling against rigidly-enforced "dress codes" (see Sapphire's comments on that) is laudable, one needs to understand that in most instances in modern society such "codes" are not rigidly enforced against adults in non-work settings. There's "gentle guidance" to adhere to the norm, but that's it. You may take a bit of ribbing about your sartorial choices, but you're not going to get tossed in the lockup for it, you're not going to get a legally-stipulated whipping for it, and your parents aren't going to ground you for it. Am I saying, "Wear a dress and heels to the office on Monday"? No. I'm saying, "Choose your battles wisely."

[tooslowprius]

I suppose the whole thing could be summed up -- in a "sound-bite" -- by, "Stop whining and start wearing". Will we take some lumps for it along the way? Likely, yes. So did the women who first started wearing trousers in public.

I do wear skirts and I am no way shape or form "Whining" I made the same comment that a women would make. If you ask any women young or old why they wear pants I can garentee you that they will all say that "Becuase I can!" I have talked to so many men that have told me that they would wear skirt, but they just can't! When I enquire as to why they tell me becuase Im a guy! To me thats crap just becasue Im a guy dosn't mean I cant wear a skirt or I can't wear pink or some of the other stupid s(*t that we come up with to use as an excusse. If I sound a little upset I am becuase everything I said was taken completly out of context! I was not winning and never will about the fact I chooce to wear skirts!

[crfriend]

I do wear skirts and I am no way shape or form "Whining" I made the same comment that a women would make.

Just so we're on the same page here, I was not accusing you (or anyone else) of whining, I was pointing up that the argument in use sounded "whiney". In general, arguing that something "isn't fair" is an invitation to disaster because life, in and of itself, is inherently unfair. If you want something badly enough, and are willing to exert yourself for it, then go for it; it's rather pointless to gripe about the unfairness and expect somebody else to do something.

If you ask any women young or old why they wear pants I can garentee you that they will all say that "Becuase I can!" I have talked to so many men that have told me that they would wear skirt, but they just can't! When I enquire as to why they tell me becuase Im a guy!

The interesting thing is that guys can wear skirted garments, and, as the lot here have amply pointed up, do wear skirted garments. It's just that it takes someone who is very secure in who he is as a person to do so with the level of aplomb to get away with it properly. Face it, most folks never "think outside the box"; heck, I wonder if most can even see the walls of the box. That said, however, a guy in a well put-together skirted rig who is willing to face the curious and the detractors alike, can be a very powerful force for getting skirted garments accepted in the western world. Not everybody is a lemming, and once prodded, many will actually think about the ultimate notion of, "why not?", and make the jump into understanding; as it stands, all too many men in the "western world" have not been exposed to skirt-wearing men in normal every-day settings, and that's what skews perceptions.

To me thats crap just becasue Im a guy dosn't mean I cant wear a skirt or I can't wear pink or some of the other stupid s(*t that we come up with to use as an excusse. If I sound a little upset I am becuase everything I said was taken completly out of context! I was not winning and never will about the fact I chooce to wear skirts!

Of course it's crap that just because of the plumbing one has between the legs dictates what one can and, by proxy, cannot do -- it's utter lunacy. However, it's lunacy only to those who have sat down and rationally thought about the matter. If one is to take the knee-jerk reaction then one is held immutably to the laws of inertia; it'll never stop, and it'll never change direction. When one reflects on what may be possible, it's perfectly reasonable that that trajectory may be changed -- but, it takes energy. As skirt-wearing guys, we need to be that energy.

In closing, please do not think I was having a poke at you with my commentary. My jab was at the arguments in use, and the ideas behind them.

[Inertia]

Nicely said. Carl and Tooslowprius and all the rest of you, you're here as ground-breakers at this point of history. And ground-breakers never have a comfortable time of it.

Guys *can* wear skirts -- all of you do. So does the guy I saw a few weeks ago outside a bookstore, wearing a red wool knee-length skirt and a dark blue jacket and a big red beard. So does the kilt-wearing fellow I've noticed fairly often lately, standing at a neighbourhood bus stop as I drive to work. So does the guy I see every Saturday morning these days, grocery shopping in a Utilikilt with his little boy (training the next generation of skirt-wearing guys!). I'm noticing more and more men in my city wearing skirts; they're still not the majority by any means, but they're doing it. If anyone's told them, "You can't wear a skirt because you're a guy," their response has apparently been something like a dismissive gesture and the phrase, "Sez you!".

The perception of skirt-wearing as a female-only practice is an inequality you can change. I, personally, can do little or nothing to change the fact that I will always make 15% or so less money than any man would, nor to convince the government of any one of several countries that their population's women have the same basic right to literacy as their men do. I can't do much to change these inequalities because they are imposed by authority-structures, and the effort of one individual against an authority-structure counts for very little. But, gentlemen, there are no anti-MUG-wearing laws where any of you live, and while corporations may require both men and women to dress in a certain way, those are the conditions of working for such a firm; there are other companies without such dress codes. You gentlemen, personally, individually, can change your society's idea that "you can't wear skirts because you're guys", simply by wearing skirts! Maybe the guy in front of the bookstore decided to wear skirts because he met the guy in the grocery store who does it. And some other guy will start wearing skirts because he got the idea from the guy in front of the bookstore. This is the kind of situation where individual efforts *can* change society. You guys are empowered. Go for it.


Cheers,

Jill

[Brandy]

Dennis,
I can answer your question, from a woman's point of view, regarding having to wear something I hated. While I do not necessarily hate wearing skirts or dress, I hate being forced to wear them. I hate not having the option.

For the entire time that I was in public school, girls were not allowed to wear trousers. In grade school, we could wear our snow pants under our skirts and we were forced to remove the snowpants in the hallway. We were allowed to wear boots on bad days. The whole get up was ugly and we were teased about it.

In junior and senior high school, in another school district, we were not allowed to wear pants under our skirts. It was considered more ladylike to get frostbite. We were allowed to wear boots. BTW the way the school district and the exact same high school is the one that gave us Sam Alito. Figures.

I did have slacks but they were only allowed for outdorr play or camping. This change of heart came about after I ruined several nice dresses while playing "too hard". I didn't get my first pair of jeans until I was a second semester high school senior. They were wheat colored and I loved them, probably because they were "forbidden fruit".

Until I left home, I was required to wear skirts and dresses to church. The one exception was church camp.

What I felt was just like what I've seen posted so many times on this forum: I do not want to be told what to wear. I want to choose, whether it be stylish or frumpy.

Sapphire

Sapphire, thank you for the reminder of what life use to be like. I never had your problem, even though I did like to get into my older sisters skirts, she left behind when she left home.

Your comments reminded of one time back in a previous life. My Ex and I were getting ready to go out, on that Saturday there was a lot of dirty work outside. It felt really good to shower and put some nice clothes on for going out. Then my Ex did one of her sneering remarks "your not going to wear that? are you?" she was just refering to my choice of slacks and shirt!! Later after she was ready her remark was " doesn't it feel good to dress up to go out?" My answer was "No". What I was wearing was her choice not mine.

-- Brandy

[AMM]

...My Ex and I were getting ready to go out, .... Then my Ex did one of her sneering remarks "your not going to wear that? are you?"

I can sort of see how you and she ended up being "exes." Or at least a piece of the story.

begin{rumination}

It makes me think how a person's postings here at SkirtCafe mostly only show a leaf or two of the tree that is that person's life. We read about their skirts and maybe look at their pictures, but where the skirt-wearing fits into their life appears only in little bits and pieces over the years, if that.

People who meet me now, seeing me wearing a skirt and hearing that I'm divorced, might imagine that the skirt-wearing played a role in the divorce.

They would be mistaken.

If anything, the collapse of my marriage is what led, by roundabout ways, to my wearing skirts now.

For most of my life, though I felt like my life had been off the rails since I was born, I had the fantasy that if I worked hard, sacrificed enough, and tried my best to act Normal(tm), I would have a loving girlfriend/wife, happy, well-adjusted children, a good job, and lots of good friends who would invite me to their parties (and come to mine.) I had had occasional thoughts about how skirts and dresses looked so nice, but they made me so uncomfortable I would have rather thrown myself in front of a subway train that seriously imagine wearing "women's clothes" myself.

This fantasy started to come apart with my first child, with whom none of the child-rearing advice did any good; the only things I found that were any help came from the part of me that I believed had been responsible for me being "off the rails" in the first place. My wife could not cope with the difficulties and kept flipping out, so now I had two (later 3) "impossible" children to deal with. And when I tried to talk/commiserate with other parents, most of them looked at me like I had three heads and sidled away from me. The academic career that my IQ (feh!) and training was supposed to have equipped me for was going nowhere, and though I found a few people I could talk to, the "lots of friend" and the party invitations never appeared. My kids were not happy -- I wasn't even sure they'd be able to take care of themselves when they grew up -- and my marriage was killing me. The years of marriage counselling had finally convinced me that my wife was not going to change: I could either live with her as she was or get out, and I realized that I would not live much longer if I stayed with her.

So I found myself divorced, after two decades together. As I saw it, my attempts to act Normal(tm) had failed, and the only things that had worked had been the things I had been told all my life were "weird." So when I saw some guys wearing skirts at a Contra Dance and thought it looked like fun, I started to figure, why not? What have I got to lose? My Ex already has a melt-down 3 times a week, my kids are already seen as "weird" by the other kids in the school district (and by this point, they were already in an out-of-district program), most of the Normal people in town already won't invite me over, how much worse can it get if I become known around town as "the guy in a skirt?"

Every now and then, someone will come up to me with the kindly advice, "lose the skirts if you want to get a girlfriend." My answer is always the same: if a woman can't deal with my wearing skirts in my free time, how is she going to deal with all the other ways that I'm not Normal(tm)? Some folks say it's just my way of pushing people away, but I figure it's actually a good filter. Why waste your time with people who want a GI Joe or a Ken doll?

Finally, when you come down to it, I just got tired of trying to be what other people need me to be, and started trying to be me, whoever he is. I've squandered enough of my life trying (without success) to live up to other people's expectations. Now, other people can either take me as I am, or go away and not bother me.

end{rumination}

[Uncle Al]

begin{rumination}
It makes me think how a person's postings here at SkirtCafe mostly only show
a leaf or two of the tree that is that person's life. We read about their skirts
and maybe look at their pictures, but where the skirt-wearing fits into their
life appears only in little bits and pieces over the years, if that.

<snip>

Finally, when you come down to it, I just got tired of trying to be what other
people need me to be, and started trying to be me, whoever he is.
I've squandered enough of my life trying (without success) to live up to
other people's expectations. Now, other people can either take me as I am,
or go away and not bother me.

end{rumination}

AMM,

Well put! As you said, we don't really know the roots of our members
Trees of Life, but you have just shown us a new branch of your tree.
This helps us in understanding each other.

Your statement -
"I've squandered enough of my life trying (without success)
to live up to other people's expectations."
- is one that most of us here have lived through.
Some more successfully than others, but we've managed to get through.

You've said what most of us would like to say, but are un-willing to go
'outside-the-box' and put our thoughts/feelings into words.

I appreciate your candidness with us, and the fact that you feel comfortable
enough to share this information with us. Thank you for your faith in us.

Uncle Al
Duncanville, TX

[Brandy]

AMM, thank you.

You are right, that remark was only a symptom of our problems. Our problems ran much deeper it took many years to figure out my contribution. I can only guess about hers, as we have not spoken in years. It has only been recently that in reflection of past triggers (events that caused me to change) that I got it wrong. Some of the critical looks/comments I got the wrong impression and leaped through to the wrong conclusion. Now the $64 question? What would I have changed? Not sure. As IF we were still together I would still be fighting the "SO acceptance battle" and there would be a lot fewer skirts in my closet. I did see her once after our divorce, I made sure I wore a UK and the sneer was still there.

Here is a summary of were I was in 2004; http://www.hhplace.org/guys/1958-help_c ... #post44810 post # 56

It is an interesting thread from 2003/4 and deals with the issue of tell/not telling your SO of our hidden agenda. Having an agenda is one thing. Not understanding your self is some thing very different.

Part of SO acceptance is their own self confidence, some SO’s can not stand any challenge to their perceived position in the relationship. Their position is defined by other people’s opinion/perception. When that perception is challenged by your actions then you’re in trouble. For the exploitive SO it can be used for control.

For my Ex she knew control was no longer going to work as I was already questioning her opinions and my actions made her wonder about her status. For her, her status was for me to be wearing a 3-piece trouser suit – skirt suits were for her only, she eventually left for a three-piece trouser suit. It turns out she had been playing around at work for a long time and everyone there knew about it.

The good news is this threw me into a crisis and I needed to find out who I was, what I was. This was a painful process, it actually did not last very long as soon as I found Tom’s Cafe and Chris Atrium I knew, acceptance took much longer and is still a work in progress. And yes permission to “wear” well that comes from within. If it does not come from within you will never be at ease. Like the girl at a cocktail party who’s skirt/top is to short/low. When you are at ease others are at ease and acceptance comes …. Challenging others power base or phobias does have an element of risk.

I do not miss the fights, I miss the companionship, I miss the caring and love that is possible. Would I give up the skirts, etc. NO! They are part of me just as I would give the Lady a choice I reserve the same right. We come as a package, to leave out a piece is self-denial of part of ones self, I already know how self-destructive that is. Wearing a UK/skirt in public is self defense, those who do not approve need not apply and saves a lot of explanation later. What you see is what you get.

-- Brandy

[Milfmog]

Nicely made set of points brandy and thanks for the link.

I have a pad of scribbling paper on my desk which has a quote on each sheet. The one on the top right now reads:

When one is out of touch with oneself one cannot touch others.

The quote is attributed to Anne Morrow Lindbergh (aviator and wife of Charles) and seemed very appropriate.

Have fun,


Ian.