Not being helped in retail stores

[Bri]

Anyone have a problem when going into a retail store and looking in the women's section for something, and either not really being helped, or just being ignored by the staff?

Either that or when you point out something you like in the women's section, they walk you over to the mens? I don't know if it's just me, but that's what's been happening lately, somewhat more in the malls, but I'll try again in some of the stores that aren't in malls.

[SkirtDude]

Deleted.

[sapphire]

I'm with Skirt Dude as far as talking with the management. You can point out that the attitudes of the staff are really a revenue avoidance plan.

I'm miffed that you've been treated this way.

[crfriend]

Bri -- What you may be dealing with here is a lack of experience in the retail sector. In another post you remarked that many of the sales staff seem to be of high-school age or thereabouts: I hate to sound like a pessimist, but teenagers (of whatever age) are simply not equipped to "think outside the box" when it comes to things like clothing. This is the direct result of their entire life experience, and, in this instance, it's carrying over into a place where it does not belong. Do not blame the kids; they don't know any better.

Retail stores, whether they be in malls, along posh avenues, or little hole-in-the-wall mom-and-pop joints, exist for one reason: to move merchandise. The "retail experience" you're getting subverts that goal -- in spades -- and likely causes you to spend less which then causes the retailer to take in less. It's lose-lose all the way 'round, both for you and for them. A quiet chat with Management might be in order, or, if you're not the type to demand the attention of the floor supervisor, then at least a polite letter to the home office. Everybody'll benefit from it.

I've bought "feminine" attire over the counter in the past, and nobody batted an eyelid: which is the way it should be. That said, I still think the notion of a 6'-plus bearded bloke buying tights and a slip is fodder for laughter (in many ways) and that'll not stop me from doing so again -- and laughing with the folks involved -- in the future. If one can't laugh at one's self from time to time, it's likely that there's something amiss.

[Peter v]

Over here in the Netherlands, up 'til now, even though I am somewhat feminine dressed, with pumps, pantys en jewelry, even lace camisoles, but definitely NO makeup, false boobs or wig!! I have been helped very well by everybody in the shops, of all ages, even the young women. They all like me. And very frequently ask all about my wearing choice, and compliment me by doing so.

Even if I am fitting various women's clothing, the shop assistents will bring on more of the same soort of clothes, no problem. Just great all the positive attention I get, wouldn't want to mis it for anything, almost. Quite an enjoyable experience. Most often the stores I visit are only women's clothing stores, but also stores with both, no problem. Might be because I am so obviously dressed.

I even got overtaken by a attractive young mother on a bycicle, when I was riding on my bycicle on the way home after visiting Town. She had seen me more often, and just had to compliment me on the way I looked, end said that many women were obviously not so well dressed as I was.
That makes you really feel good. Although most on this forum would be very manly dressed, as those here who dare to wear in public are, people here are very tolerant and helpful.

I find that even the youngest of assistents very interested in what I do, and are very willing to help me.

So who knows, it may have something to do with how you look, that puts some people off in some way???? Or they just need to get a better education in how to treat customers.

[r1g0r]

I'm ...<micro-snip>

<end micro-snip>...I'm miffed that you've been treated this way.

ya know, sapphire, i'm looking at your avatar. ya LOOK miffed!

[sapphire]

No. My avatar is not miffed. She's just a kitten.

But the miffed me looks like Mr. Spock with a hangover and a handgun.

I'm just really upset by the treatment your guys have experienced.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

[knickerless]

think most of just like to browse and then get served when we want and get assiatnce when we need it. For the less adventurous, having some assitant leap out from behind the racks and interogate them before they had a chance to look, will be very off putting.

but is it not like this in most stores now.

If you want help you can't find anyone over the age of 16 and the youngsters have little idea what you are talking about let alone whether they stock it and if you just want to browse in an electrical store - some one leaps out from behind the TV sets with a clip board in his hand and then when you want to place an order these clipboard bandishing salemen have vanished...

Nick

[Eborian]

There are a couple of the large retail stores that I visit where the Store Assistants are unfriendly and seem to avoid me. Luckily they seem to be in the minority. At most of the stores I visit I get friendly service and at one I go to often the staff will give advice on what type of skirt will suit me, and advise me on whether or not I should wear tights with the skirt.

[JRMILLER]

From my experience, it depends on your attitude and how you act. If you simply walk through the area and browse, you are not likely to get much help. They don't know what to make of you and the assumption is generally negative.

If instead, you walk up to the counter or a salesperson and ask for help and tell them what you are looking for, then this works much better. They immediately see that you are a reasonable person, not some weirdo drooling over women's clothing.

[Bob]

My experience is never getting help with anything, anytime, anyhow. The age of K-Mart has covered the landscape with cut-rate, no-help stores.

[Sarongman]

The situation in Australia is much the same. Many of the older shop assistants are friendly, courteous and professional. Funnily enough, the fast food outlet we go to occasionally has kids on the counter who are also friendly, courteous etc. In the big retail chains, however, from the younger generation, you are more likely to encounter apathy, blank incomprehending looks or just plain rudeness as they talk for some minutes, knowing full well you are right there in front of them.

[darshan1412]

Actually I’ve had a few experiences of the opposite sort. Here’s a couple of examples:

I was in the J.Crew store in a large mall (we live in the Bay Area), when a young female salesperson came up and said “Can I help you?” I told her I wanted to look at their casual skirts and she directed me to the right aisle and then asked “What size is she?”

I said, “Actually it’s for me.”

“Okay, do you know what size you wear?” she asked without missing a beat.

I told her usually 14-16 and she helped me find a couple of things including a green cargo skirt in size 14. “Would you like to try it on? IF that doesn’t work we can probably order a 16 from the catalogue.”

I changed in the dressing room and then came out wearing the skirt to the mirrors. She came back over and said “That looks great! How’s it feel?”

I said it fit nicely and I’d take it. She asked if I’d like to wear it out, and I said no thanks (didn’t have shoes to wear with a skirt). All in all a very nice enjoyable experience without any sense of weirdness or patronization.

The other experience was in a J. Jill store where an older saleswoman helped me with a knee-length corduroy skirt that was on sale. She was not quite as at ease as the J.Crew girl, perhaps a function of age -- but she was very glad to make the sale and complemented me on my taste after ringing it up.

I also shop occasionally at Lane Bryant and have always found the women there to be super helpful and encouraging. Dept. stores tend to be less accommodating, but again it depends on where you are (California vs. the South, & so on), the store (Nordstrom in general seems to have a strong policy on customer service), and the individual salesgal.

[Bri]

What mall in the bay are?

[Since1982]

Sarongman, no one can really complain much about rude young people. We (the older generation) did it to ourselves by holding back on CP when the children were young enough to understand that courtesy was good and rudeness was bad. WE were busy telling our kids that they were perfect and could do no wrong. So they created the "ME" generation and now we are seeing the downside of that. By the way, if anyone doesn't know what CP is, I'll tell you. It's properly applied Corporal Punishment. Always with an open hand across the bottom, firm but not to injure, just to teach. Every mother in the wild world, from Lions to monkeys spanks their children, it's the only thing that really works. We didn't, now we have to live with rude children..