Cruise, sarongs and a dress code

[Charlie]

We've been on a cruise to in the Mediterranean for the past two weeks, where I wore sarongs most of the time, even for trips ashore to Spain, France, Italy and Morocco with no adverse comments.

We went to Rome (me in a sarong) and saw two guys in miniskirts – OK they were dressed as Roman soldiers but you know what they say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” - so I wore a 'skirt' When we boarded an open-top tourist bus, the young guy who took our money was enthusiastic about the sarong, saying he wore one around the house but had trouble keeping it on. I told him I used a belt.

On the cruise there was a formal night where we had the option to dress up and attend the Captain's cocktail party. My wife enjoys dressing up so I made the sacrifice and wore a suit jacket and trousers and ... a tie ... which was soon ripped off because I got too hot.

Other than the formal night, the published dress code was smart casual. The suggested gentlemen's clothing was: full length trousers and a button-style shirt or similar. The dress code advice went on to say that “shorts, vest style tops and baseball caps are not permitted in the restaurant during evening dinner”. My interpretation of this was that as long as your legs were fully covered, anything goes – wrong!

In the evenings I wore a deep purple sarong with a turquoise (cyan to you colour TV engineers) polo shirt. The Filipino waiters and waitresses thought it was great

The only place the dress code was enforced was in the restaurant. Once I wore a grey tee shirt and a sarong. We'd come back late from an excursion and went straight into the restaurant. On the way out, the Maitre d' diplomatically asked that next time I wore a shirt with a collar – he didn't mention the sarong.

The next evening I wore a polo shirt and trousers – no reaction, so the evening after that I wore a polo shirt and a sarong. This time the Maitre d' told me there was a dress code of long trousers, so I had to go and change. I was suffering from a well developed cold at the time and hadn't taken too much trouble to make myself tidy, so perhaps I just appeared scruffy. Anyway, I was feeling lousy and couldn't be bothered to argue. I'd rather had eaten in the buffet on deck which would have been healthier for everyone, but my wife liked the people we sat opposite in the restaurant and liked to chat.

Eventually, and much to my relief, my wife got fed up with the restaurant so I was able to wear a sarong all the time. It also meant we ate out in the sunshine and fresh air.

A woman asked my wife why I wore a sarong. She told her about me sunburning my legs on a previous cruise, and that I found trousers to be too hot and heavy. The woman said her husband had just sunburnt his legs, but she didn't think he'd be wearing a sarong. His loss

So, apart from a few hours eating in trousers (I can't see what difference sitting in trousers or a skirt makes when you're eating), I wore sarongs all the time, even on the flight home.

Charlie

[Bri]

Some places have strange dress codes and next time would be a good idea to ask the maitre'd about the women there wearing skirts/dresses, as in point to them and say well, they're wearing this so I can wear this. If i were me without the developed cold I would've argued, with it, hmm maybe put up with that crap for a few min. or just say well I'm going to the buffet because they don't seem to think this *pointing at what you're wearing* is acceptable on a cruise that I paid for and no one else has a problem with.

[Since1982]

Not me, I'd just have one thing to tell the Maitre'd, no problem sir, I'm sure there are plenty more cruise ships that would love my money and the money of my friends. As I don't OWN any trousers, I'll just have to check out, find a nicer ship and restaurant next time, tell my friends about your Hitlership and take a new trip. Huge smile.

[Pythos]

My view on dress codes is that if I am paying money to attend an event, then I do not want someone telling me what I can wear. I do think people should be sure to use some decorum though in what they wear. (arriving at a black tie event in a string bikini, or speedo wouldn't do I would think).

But if I attended a black tie event in a gown or nice skirt suit, I should be able to stay.

[Peter v]

We are of course not always in a mood to argue ( again ) about our rights, but in this case, you may have even stepped to the captain.... or at least as mentioned, pointed out that there were women were wearing practically the same and were allowed to stay. Talk about discrimination.

[david30101]

I dont see a differance, A woman can wear a skirt in the dinning room which is no longer then shorts...Why cant a guy wear the same type of skirt (for guys) in the same situation? At least its not shorts..

[crfriend]

In overall defence of the cruise line's dining room -- and the attendants -- Charlie did mention that due to his head-cold he may have looked a bit scruffy. If that was the case, the maitre-d's action was understandable if not completely defensible.

The way to get silly rules changed in commercial settings is to challenge the rule once you've been inconvenienced by it. Cruise lines, like other commercial ventures, exist to make money -- and in times like we're experiencing now the consumer has the upper hand. In this case, there likely would have been a telephone call politely asking if Charlie enjoyed his cruise (a veilled attempt to beg him to take another) and if he'd be doing business with the cruise line in the future -- and it's here that Charlie could politely say, "No. The cruise was enjoyable enough, but the rules and regulations pertaining to dress-codes' is sufficiently backward that I'll be choosing the competition for my next excursion." One need not "name names" or pick on any given individual (unless somebody was extraordinarily unprofessional and rude) but simply poke a stick at the offensive policy of "long trousers" for men when there is no similar constraint for women.

Note that I am not condoning slovenly appearances here; when in a highly social setting (such as a cruise), one is expected to present a reasonably smart appearance. A bloke showing up in a miniskirt, a tank-top, and flip-flops would be "jarring" to other folks in the setting; however, a chap arriving with a jacket, collared shirt, and a decent skirt would likely not be so jarring a to cause offence -- especially once sat down. A garotte^W necktie would further limit any potential outrage at the uncommon sight of a man in a skirted rig.

[david30101]

Ive been on about 17 cruises since 1998. However I havent worn any type of skirt or kilt on a ship yet, The next one I book for this yr I will be taking my kilt/skirt to wear. I may wear it in the dinning room the first night out to see what happens. Its not the type for formal nights but looks good for the other occasions, (cotton Midas wrap skirt) 21 inch length. Before that time i need to get a couple more so i dont wear the same one every day.

[Kilted Musician]

... I may wear it in the dinning room the first night out to see what happens.

A few years ago, I took a 3 day cruise and wore my tan Utilikilt most of the time. When I wore it into the dining room for the first time, instead of waiting for the Maitre d' to say something, I asked if the kilt was ok to wear. He just smiled and said no problem. I must have left an impression with some people because on the last day because when I didn't wear it, total strangers came up to me, smiled, and said, "Where's the kilt?"

--Rick

[david30101]

After several days on a cruise, people get to know your habits.

[r.m.anderson]

Charlie:
Would be interested in what cruise line you had this encounter.
I have been in the travel business for almost 30 years and have seen a lot.

I have been on three cruises. My first was on Princess from Vancouver to Long Beach.
Two was on Carnival; Mexican Rivera and three also on Carnival; Alaska inside passage.
All three of these trips were of length that there were two formal nights.
I wore my Anderson tartan (check avatar for pattern) kilt with kilt hose flashes and black
loafers - topped off with a Prince Charlie jacket, tuxedo shirt with an Anderson tartan bow tie.
No weddings. No funerals. Just a hella of blast of fun. Everywhere I went on the ship was
a conversation starter and the ship's staff was ready at any request for service. It was a
lot of fun and yet a bit of overkill on the dress code which I like to twist.
For my many years of service in the airline business the employees had the dress code rammed
down their throat. You want to travel - wear a suitcoat & tie; no sandels; no shorts; no this and
no that. It was absolutely ridiculous - you could always tell the non-revenue airline employees
on a flight "They were the ones dressed up like penguines (tuxedo suits)".
I must admit that I would rather sit next to a well dressed individual than someone else not
so nice. But times change and so did the dress code. So the theme now is to blend in and
not attract attention. This is called Casual. But still no sandels or shorts.
Getting back to cruise ships dress codes. The Princess line is step above Carnival in dressy
wear and cruise activities. As for Carnival the Mexican trip was a bit more formal than the
Alaska trip. Just an observation of the clothing worn at non-formal evening resturaunt:
Mexico cruise - slacks/trousers and beach type open collar polo shirts (warm weather clothing) and
formal nights tuxs, dark suit coats and long sleeve shirts with ties.
Alaska cruise - jeans/denin and flannel shirts or color block sweat shirts (cold weather gear) and
formal nights not many tuxs mostly suit coats with open collar shirts with or without sweater.
Time of the year and place have a great deal to do with the code.
In europe whether you are on a large vessel or small sailing ship the dress code is so what can I
say - "so James Bondish". You are expected to dress the part. Think of the Titanic and its 4 classes
of passengers. The more important you are or the class you are traveling in dictates how you will
dress.

"Now add skirts to all this and 'WOW' you have opened up another conundrum and halloween is
several months away! What's a well intentioned Maitre d' going to do. There ain't no Roberts
Rule of Order for this sort of thing and you have a fare paying customer starring you in the face
and you are expecting a nice tip at the end of the cruise (Maitre d's are not paid out of the usual
service fee applied to your shipboard account). Frankly the best way to handle this is the low
key route: seat the person without fuss and go about you duties.

Additional note: Carnival owns Holland America; Princess; Cunard and Yachts of Seabourne and
has over 120 ships in service in all corners of the globe.

rm

[Charlie]

Charlie:
Would be interested in what cruise line you had this encounter.
I have been in the travel business for almost 30 years and have seen a lot.

The ship was the Thompson "Destiny". They go in for allocated tables and times in the dining room, and you're stuck with the same people at the same table for the whole of the cruise. My wife and I dislike this because we like to meet lots of different people. Having said that, we knew what we were taking on, so can't really complain - the main thing was that the cruise went where we wanted to go.
The cruise we liked most was with Island Cruises "Island Escape". Here they assigned you to a table as you went into the restaurant, so you never knew who you were sitting with. All you had to do was book a time to eat. Also, the dress code was much more relaxed i.e. no code, which allowed people to use discretion in the dining room (and perversely, I'd probably wear trousers because I'm not being told that I must). That cruise was before I started skirting, although it was a major factor in getting me unbifurcated - I bought a sarong at one of the ports of call and started on the slippery slope to freedom and comfort
Next time I'll take a kilt, to look tidy and have the benefit of not trousers
Charlie