DALederle wrote:The reason I titled this post "The Perfect Skirt For A Man" was that I was thinking of a type of skirt, other than a kilt, that would most be accepted by other people when a man was seen wearing it out in public. It was for the purpose of searching for that skirt that could be a cross over in acceptance out on the street. As "normal" (whatever that is) wear. Let's face, there are some skirts, kilts and sarongs that can get "frilly" and cause some people problems when a man is seen on the street wearing them.
This sort of idea keeps coming up in one form or another here at the Cafe, and I think the people who propose it are barking up the wrong tree.
For one thing, what do you mean by "accepted"? I go all kinds of places in all kinds of skirts, and nobody has said anything negative. Nobody calls me "ma'am". In fact, a number of times I've had people -- both men and women -- tell me they think it's great that I'm wearing a skirt. Young people (in their teens and twenties) seem particularly intrigued with the idea. That's one kind of acceptance.
I haven't worn my skirts around my family (brothers and sister, etc.) -- e.g., at a family reunion or a wedding. If you do that and nobody bats an eye, that would be another kind of acceptance.
I don't see men in my everyday life (outside of Contra dances and dance festivals) wearing skirts, or people in the mainstream seriously considering the idea of men wearing skirts. If we ever got to that point, it would be yet another kind of acceptance. (Actually, I
do see this in the Contra Dance community.)
For another, your question assumes that what kind of skirt you're talking about really makes a difference. I'm not convinced it does. Unless the whole look gives the impression that the man wants to be mistaken for a woman (cf. Peter V.), for most people, a skirt is a skirt, and one kind of skirt is as unlikely a thing for a man to wear as another.
Any kind of skirt on a man is so unusual, it's off the charts, anyway.
That's why people don't say anything when they see you in a skirt, not because they don't see it. In my experience, the people who are going to give you a hard time for wearing a skirt will do it even if you're wearing a kilt (or, say, tartan trousers, for that matter.) The people who don't mind will accept pretty much anything that is reasonably presentable.
As for the idea of a "transition path" to skirts on men being seen as "normal": I don't think we can predict it. It's worth looking at how trousers for women became accepted. A century or so ago, a small group of women was promoting the idea of bifurcated garments for women, and, feeling that men's-style trousers would be seen as too un-feminine, they invented bloomers. The idea never took off, and bloomers remained a niche garment, the way kilts (outside of Scottish events) are for men. When women started wearing trousers in significant numbers (the 1950's?), the most common kind they wore were men's jeans, which were (by the standards of the time) about as masculine and un-feminine as you could get. The clothing manufacturers tried to distinguish "men's" from "women's" by using side zippers, but basically, women's jeans looked pretty much like the jeans that the men were wearing. It was only after men's-style trousers were established as women's wear that things like pants suits and the like began to appear (the 1970's or so.)
If skirts-for-men took the same sort of path to acceptance, it would be the more
feminine skirts that would become accepted first. For what it's worth, that's what I'm seeing. Most of the men at Contra Dances that wear skirts wear flowery, full skirts, the sort that would look quite feminine (whatever that means) on women. And when I see (non-crossdressing) men in other settings wearing skirts (e.g., Deadheads), they tend to go for things like the loose, brightly-colored Indian skirts, rather than the "masculine" skirts people at the Cafe tend to promote.
Finally, you can't exclude kilts from the discussion. Kilts are still not seen as "normal" wear, even though they don't have the associations of femininity that any kind of skirt does. Most men wouldn't consider wearing one. If you wear one to a wedding, unless it's a Scottish-themed wedding, you'll usually be seen as trying to take attention away from the bridal couple. Very few workplaces will allow them. I
have gotten a few negative comments when wearing a kilt. Etc. I find it hard to believe that a "masculine" skirt will be considered "normal" wear before a kilt will.
Thanks for all the fish.
