Should we be critical

[RichardA]

Please don't shout me down, but we all want to be excepted as normal guys, but in a skirt or dress don't we, but if someone here posted a picture of themselves and they look terrible in it should we say so.
The main reason for this it we are trying to get something off the ground, something new, yes I know men have been wearing skirts like garments since time began, but we as a whole should be setting an example and want people to say......well nothing yes nothing at all because we are not standing out we just mingle with the crowd.
When I wear my kilt with all the extras, jacket, hose ect I make sure that I'm perfect as I'm representing my Scottish Clan and people are very quick of the mark to say that you have something wrong.
When I put up a few photos on here most said I looked great, but I would not have been offend if someone had said "you look a right prat in that" "have you tried so and so" yes it is a put down, but when we see ourselves in a mirror we only see our view and not others, I know we should be ourselves, but we should try to be appealing to the outside world.
I'm very sorry it this has offended anyone as it was not ment too
Richard

[cessna152towser]

I think it would be useful to be able to criticise so long as it is done politely with no personal insults. When we post pictures here we usually think we look good in this particular outfit, it would do no harm to be told if something doesn't really work. Quite often I've discarded photos because there is obviously something less than perfect, maybe one sock lower than the other, perhaps a slip showing, things which you can't see for yourself until you set the self timer on the camera to take your picture. Then the best shot of the photo shoot will be chosen for posting, if its still not right will somebody please say so.

[Big and Bashful]

I think if someone asks which is the best skirt for them then that is a good chance to be honest.
However if someone sticks a picture up with a couple of hairy legs sticking out of a miniskirt, a look which I find erm, not wonderful, I will refrain from commenting because I know it is just my dislike of that image, if they feel comfortable dressed like that what gives me the right to critisise? So I don't.
As well as the above reticence (Bet that is spelt wrong!) my shaky confidence when wearing skirts would easily be knocked by my chosen look being rubbished by someone on the cafe. And that is from someone who just doesn't care what others think, as long as they don't ridicule me!
Isn't the male ego a strange little thing?

[crfriend]

I think if someone asks which is the best skirt for them then that is a good chance to be honest.

That, I think, really sums it up. If I ask for criticism (note that criticism does not need to be negative; it is actually the act of making an examination of something and stating what is one's opinion on it) I would hope to gather commentary -- both positive (if appropriate) and negative (if appropriate). In short, if I'm asking, I myself have doubts about how an outfit "works" and am looking for advice on the matter.

What's important to remember is that we should be commenting on what the individual is wearing not the individual himself. Too, since each of us have different tastes and senses of the aesthetic, our commentary will, quite naturally, be somewhat skewed. Here, the principle of mutual respect is key, and in these cases I feel it best to take responsibility for one's statements by using "'I' statements" (e.g. "I don't think it looks quite right; here's why...") rather than rubbishing the individual.

However if someone sticks a picture up with a couple of hairy legs sticking out of a miniskirt, a look which I find erm, not wonderful, I will refrain from commenting because I know it is just my dislike of that image, if they feel comfortable dressed like that what gives me the right to critisise

If they asked they should expect some honest answers. The answers don't have to be "brutally honest" (e.g. "You look like a bloomin' fool!"), but can be more nuanced (e.g. in the above case, "I think that rig would look better if the legs were better groomed or had neat covering.").

As well as the above reticence (Bet that is spelt wrong!) my shaky confidence when wearing skirts would easily be knocked by my chosen look being rubbished by someone on the cafe. And that is from someone who just doesn't care what others think, as long as they don't ridicule me!
Isn't the male ego a strange little thing?

Full marks on the spelling!

It's all in the way the criticism is delivered, and how thick your skin may be. I have a fairly thick hide, but a steady diet of negativity grates on even me after a while; all of us need some positive reinforcement in our lives. But, if the criticism (which, recall, is just stated opinion about an observation) is well thought-out and respectful then it should be welcomed. We might all benefit from it.

[Departed Member]

Very difficult this, bearing in mind the (almost!) world-wide participation here! In the UK, "Call a spade a spade!", although subject to potential PC erosion, is, in my mind, preferable to the apparent, "If you're not going to say anything nice, then don't say it!" mentality of ( a majority of?) US citizens. I'm not referring specifically of the inhabitants of this forum, but purely observations o'er a good few years! I always taught by this rule. If you're prepared to offer criticism, by all means do so, but - qualify that criticism. In other words, "You look cr*p in that!" is of no value, unless you're prepared to say, why!

[Kilty]

It depends on what the criticism is, as there is a fine line between criticism and abuse. We all have our interpretations on 'fashion freedom' and as long
as our choices don't infringe on our fellow man then we should treat others as we wish to be treated.

If we don't like how someone is dressed we should keep it to ourself as it is their choice and interpretation.

[Since1982]

I'm with Kilty on this one. I don't think anyone should be critical of how a man wants to wear his skirt or kilt. I think it's good enough he's wearing one. Not too long ago we had a regular in here who was extremely critical of who should be "allowed" to wear a skirt, even to the point of being discriminatory about it, referring to "those people" shouldn't do this or that..You say "you people or those people" to some people and you may not walk away from it. If a 32" dwarf wants to explore skirts and kilts for dwarfs I say, good for you, do it! No one should be excluded from wearing whatever he wants to, as long as he's happy with it and it's not an obscene public spectacle that could get "anyone" arrested.

[shropshire steve]

I think it would be most helpful to get constructive and helpful comments from other male skirt wearers. If the person making the comment is themselves struggling to work out a 'good skirted look' then it would be somewhat hypocritical to simply attack someone else's look. But constructive suggestions on how the look could be improved seem like a good idea to me.

However, i am, to say the least, not very photogenic, I do not look good in trousers so it is hard to look good in a skirt! I was in fact wondering about posting a few pictures for comment. How is it best to do that? I have a photobucket picture album to which i can insert links or is it possible to post pictures direct to messages on this site?

[RichardA]

can insert links or is it possible to post pictures direct to messages on this site?

you can do both, img or unload attachment

[Pythos]

I find this thread very ironic because not too long ago I was doing just what is being discussed.

My point for being critical was not for my edification but instead it was getting across the idea of presenting a good image for our "cause"

One person posted what I thought were terrible pictures. I believe the gist of what I was commenting on was not necessarily the outfit (though it was in need of help), but the way the picture was taken. The subject of the picture looked for lack of a better term clueless. The original poster responded by getting all over my case. This was later joined in by others here tearing into me. They accused me of being mean to the OP, when what I was trying to do was help the OP present a better picture for the world to see. What I think makes a terrible impression of men in skirts are men in skirts looking like the world is smashing their shoulders, with a deep scowl upon their mug. On the other side of the scale would be guys in an exaggerated "feminine" pose. We need to present as normal an image as possible concerning attire.

I'll be honest I haven't even gotten poses down. There I times I try the more appealing "fem" ones, because I frankly think most of the "male" poses are as limited as our clothing. With this, I may exceed the "good pose" limit.

When I have posted pictures I want criticism both positive and negative. There have been times I have been tempted to put together the most awful outfit I can think of a posting a pick just to see how many "atta boys" I get, so I can get a fair gauge of the b.s. ers that are on this site. I think we owe it to ourselves to be honest. I will take the critique and either apply the suggested ideas, or throw them aside. If someone says in reference to my "disco pant", "well men simply shouldn't wear tight pants like that", I would consider that statement for .5 of a second, put into the category of sexist, and move on. If I get a critique that says "good try, but the shirt bulge really ruins the look, might I suggest..." then I will either use that info or move on. I want to hear "your hair looks not so great in that shot", if my hair is indeed a mess (this is one of the hardest things to deal with for me). Most of all, I want criticism from both men and women here.

[sapphire]

Critical does not necessarily mean negative. In community college critical thinking is stressed. In this case, critical thinking means examining something objectively and analytically, forming a cogent opinion and delivering that opinion in a way, if at all possible, will be of use to the recipient of that opinion.

In art school, we regulaely critiqued each other's work. The student would present his or her work and give a brief introduction of what the work was aiming to achieve, why the colors or shades were chosen, etc. Each and every student would respond both to the work and to what the presenting student's goal were and how well they were met. Finally, the professor offerred his comments.

Critiques are valuable in this forum. Do the colors work together? Are the chosen styles flattering to the wearer? If the look is not intended to be flattering, does it convey the message that the wearer desires? etc.