Why men don't wear skirts ...

[sapphire]

If I may, I would like to share some thoughts as a woman whose SO/husband suddenly announces that he wants to wear skirts.

This can be a time of uncertainty for a woman especially if the desire to wear skirts seems to come "out of the blue".

Skirt wearing by men is a departure from the norm and when it is perceived as a sudden change, the partner has to go through a period of questioning and adjustment.

Like it or not, fair or not, true or not, the general perception of men in skirts is associated with crossdressing or transvestism.

For a woman in a relationship with a man who wants to wear skirts, questions arise:
Is he gay?
How is our relationship going to change?
How will this affect our children?
Is he going to leave me?

For a woman in a visible, public postions , there are additional questions that are not easily answered within the context of the relationship itself.
Will I lose my job?
Will I become less effective in my job?

If your skirt wearing is going to change your relationship, be open about it. If you do not feel that your skirt wearing will have an impact on the relationship, then try to have an open discussion about her fears regarding both the relationship and the impact, real or imagined, of your skirt wearing on her professional and/or community life and standing.

In our case the outcome was happy. Sure I asked myself those questions and quickly discarded them as not applicable, but I've had a unique life.

For me, and I may be unique, Carl's skirt wearing had lead to a happier Carl, a closer relationship and a new shared interest in fashion.

[sambuka]

Thanks for sharing your insight, Sapphire.

I could not agree more with your statement ...like it or not, fair or not, true or not, the general perception of men in skirts is associated with crossdressing or transvestism. I believe that pretty well all the problems I face are somewhat stemming from that.

[shropshire steve]

[quote="sapphire"]This can be a time of uncertainty for a woman especially if the desire to wear skirts seems to come "out of the blue".
Skirt wearing by men is a departure from the norm and when it is perceived as a sudden change, the partner has to go through a period of questioning and adjustment.

I think that is exactly what troubled my wife, where had this idea suddenly come from? My analysis of myself and 'why' came to the conclusion that for most of my life i was so keen to get on, make the grade and achieve the career, that i would cheerfully do just about whatever it took to get there. In reality I never understood why people would be bothered if i wore skirt but i could see that they would and that any deviation from the norm might hinder my progress . Then I hit 50 and realised i had made it, good career, good job, good pension fund, great family and now i did not have to try any more, in a way work now needed me more than i needed work!
I no longer needed to try and impress , I could relax and be myself, which did come as a bit of a shock to my wife. In 'coming out' as a skirt wearer i think it has shown up some of the differnces between our characters and, who knows possibly about the differences generally between men and women.
My wife has a strond innate sense of doing the right thing by her female friends and is very sensitive to what is right and what is wrong in a social sense. But i can happily wear a skirt without being 'bothered' about what people think. In fact it is only really the reactions of my wife and family that worries me at all about skirt wearing but it is a very important consideration.

[Since1982]

I must remind a lot of people of one teeny thingy. TIME marches on. IF you're going to keep waiting until everyone agrees with or approves of your skirt wearing, you just might die before you do it. Since I came out of my house publically skirt wearing 4 years ago, I wonder all the time why it took me so long to get over worrying about what people would think. I found that it was nearly ALL in my mind. Most folks have their own problems and don't care or worry about things that make other folks hide their true feelings and desires. Just DO it. It's really no big deal.

Ever ask your wife if she thinks herself BETTER than you? I can imagine no other reason why a wife would feel the right to dress anyway she pleases but try to keep you in a pigeonhole.

[Peter v]

I must remind a lot of people of one teeny thingy. TIME marches on. IF you're going to keep waiting until everyone agrees with or approves of your skirt wearing, you just might die before you do it. Since I came out of my house publically skirt wearing 4 years ago, I wonder all the time why it took me so long to get over worrying about what people would think. I found that it was nearly ALL in my mind. Most folks have their own problems and don't care or worry about things that make other folks hide their true feelings and desires. Just DO it. It's really no big deal.

Ever ask your wife if she thinks herself BETTER than you? I can imagine no other reason why a wife would feel the right to dress anyway she pleases but try to keep you in a pigeonhole.

I want to react. I hope not to offend anybody, but will be strongly defending the man. These issues are never simple. And every one is unique.

If a man does not wear, then he does not wear. But I think that not wearing through influence from his wife is not just. A fact is that many women have ... difficulty recognising and accepting the man's newly found self, which in this case materialises in wearing skirts.

We men only begin to say "We have the right to wear" in defence when our actions are called to a halt. Not before.

I agree to what "Since1982" wrote, and actually all the other writings. They all encompas truths. One truth is very hard. That is the time we have to enjoy being ourselves. This is a point the wives aparently sometimes don't even think about. We don't have time to lose waiting for another person to give us permission.

Sapphire,
This can be a time of uncertainty for a woman especially if the desire to wear skirts seems to come "out of the blue".

This may be true, but when a man would hint, "darling, what would you think if I wore a panty under my pants to work today?" "Are you mad"
",,...,,... um" "Don't let me catch you doing that."

And I'm not even talking about skirts yet. Even in the first inklings that a man has, his brain being stimulated from where he and no one knows, to wear a skirt, if he so much as suggests that, it will be shot down in flames by his wife, just to stop him in his tracks before he actually does it and then she will have to declare to him why she doesn't want him to do that.

Thank you.

I've been there. So stop him before it begins, she may think. That is possibly why it builds up in men, until they secretly buy a skirt, experiment when the wife isn't there, and then it looks as if it comes "right out of the blue". There is always a first moment when the partner hears about the thoughts for the first time, Everything "comes out of the blue" in your life. So why should women have a day, week, month, year, ten years to think about something that HAS TO HAPPEN NOW. The man has been waiting all his life, and finaly HE is ready, It has to happen NOW. The wife, not being """stupid""" ( please don't accuse me of saying that) should take it up in only a few days, let him do it, NO the man should wait a few days, giving the woman time to adjust, and then wear the skirts.

In the mean time, the woman can think what she wants, but NOT KEEP THE MAN FROM WEARING. "darling, I'm in a mid life crisis, I have 100000 dollars to spend and want to ride a Harley." " No you will not be a Hell's angel. I will think about it, and when you're 85 I'll give you my answer."

If it's going that way, well I might as well be dead. Not only does the wife show no respect for the husband, she has broken the man. His last chance to finally be himself, and she kills it. He has been slowly evolving since his childhood, and this is a new fase in his life. He is not a different person. This is an ongoing thing. Men don't always understand their wives but that still is not per definition an excuse to stop all her actactivitys until you agree. (depending on the ernest of the activity.) And don't say that wearing skirts is such a terrible thing. We are talking about a man and wife situation. You owe it to each other. The wife can't accuse him for changing who he was, he was evolving all the time, just as she was and is.

Or for example: The wife to the husband: "You got cancer, now I will think about living with you, you didn't have cancer when we married, how could you do that to me? How dare you. Stop immediately." This is a strongly worded example, but is chosen to demonstrate how it should not be. It should also not be in the same way when the man finally tells his wife of his new found self. Live and let live.

Just like never letting your kids outside for their whole life, you never know what may happen to them. The fact is then that you are sure they have NO LIFE. Might as well shoot them at once and be done with it, at least you will know how they died. Don't take me litterally.

A man has the ""right"" as a human to evolve, to learn, and that is what he is doing when he starts wearing skirts.

A man only has to look at the expression on his wife's face to realise he HAS TO SAY: I "Choose" not to wear. But is that really his choice?

The man: "I am going to have a very good job in that sector." "No darling, my girl friends don't want you to work there." So I won't let you. be jobless instead.

The woman should stand behind her man and say, that's a fine job, you will be hapy there, I am very happy for you. We will have a good income. My stupid girlfriends don't want you to work there, but you are my husband, I love you. You do what you think is best, for us. Those girlfriends are not married to you. Who cares what they think.

Who is it good for if the man is denied being his true self?

Respect, love. sure no way about it. But not to preventing a man being himsef. Not even manipulating him so that he says, I don't wear because I choose to, That may be true, in individual cases, but it can be manipulative on the woman's part. The man fears that the woman will not accept and is forced to take the step to decline all skirt activity. Skirt wearing is MUCH MORE than just donning a piece of cloth. It is the man's personal development. Which is an ongoing thing, for BOTH persons. To deny him that is actually breaking the marriage vows.

Again that was my opinion, and I in no way wish to put a negative look to any one, man or woman. This is my vieuw in general. Not in any one specific situation. Women are not all terible people who keep their men under their thumb. They are of course normally tender, loving, warm people.

Peter v

[sapphire]

I hope that no one thought I was suggesting that a man ask for permission to wear a skirt and wait until that permission is granted. No, I was suggesting a continuing dialog occur where couples talk about skirt wearing and that each undererstand the other's feelings and why those feelings exist.

It is kind of funny that Peter v mentiond men wear tights under their trousers. Carl and I live about 50 miles west of Boston. For many years, Carl took the train to work. After freezing on the platform, a fellow rider, a woman, suggested that Carl might feel warmer if he wore tights under his trousers.

WHen Carl first suggested the notion, I thought it was strange, but quickly realized the practicality of the idea.

I do not support the idea of either spouse restricting/not allowing/or requiring the other to dress in a manner that is comfortable and expresses oneself in a harmless way.

[Peter v]

Sapphire, you are a wonderful person, from what I read at least. I agree with you. Ongoing discussions, T A L K I N G and L I S T E N I N G to each other is vital.

Peter v.

Ps the Dutch panty site is:
http://herenpanty.6.forumer.com/index.php

[Departed Member]

It is kind of funny that Peter v mentiond men wear tights under their trousers. ..... After freezing on the platform, a fellow rider, a woman, suggested that Carl might feel warmer if he wore tights under his trousers.

It's been perfectly normal practice in the UK (for well over 40 years) for lots of blokes who work outside/standing about/in the cold to wear tights under tr*users. Policemen, builders, railwaymen - you name 'em! I find it hard to believe that there are blokes who (apparently) get a 'thrill' out of wearing tights. An item of 'last resort' in extreme weather conditions..........

[crfriend]

It's been perfectly normal practice in the UK (for well over 40 years) for lots of blokes who work outside/standing about/in the cold to wear tights under tr*users. Policemen, builders, railwaymen - you name 'em! I find it hard to believe that there are blokes who (apparently) get a 'thrill' out of wearing tights. An item of 'last resort' in extreme weather conditions..........

This is precisely how wearing tights (especially heavier-weight ones) was represented to me so long ago by one of the "community of commuters" I travelled with five days per week.

By way of history, when I was still commuting to the local "big city", I found myself in the midst of a cadre of women, and much to my surprise I was welcomed into "the fold" (Diana was in the crowd early on, but I stayed on longer). These were remarkable gals, covering an age range from late 20s to mid 50s. I remember laughing like hell with them over sick and silly jokes, I remember commiserating with them when things were going badly in relationships, and I remember crying when one of us was diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately she's a survivor and returned to our midst. To this day, I hope all of them are well.

Maybe my eyes were opened just a little bit by two hours a day on a conveyance. Such is the power of community.

[miniskirt07]

well men can wear skirt so easily once shave hair that look very nicely - I do shave legs first (usual Veet cream to clean out hair instead shaver which make you easier) and then wear opaque tights and then denim mini skirt and put black suede calf boots that look so cool as I feel very comfortable also I cant wear some of men clothes of my size problems which im suffered form weight loss as I used women jean which has suitable size -- I prefect mini skirt more. Men look so cool with any skirt as I think it best for men and women clothes to mixed up at at dept store with easy size chart - dont you think?

[Peter v]

Thank you, "Miniskirt".
Some problems with the english gramma, making it difficult to read, but not bad.
I must assume that you are from a non english speaking background.
I agree, If it were posible, to have one sizing system. But women generally have other body shapes than men do, which makes one sizing system virtually impossible. Catering openly more to men / women mixed would be nice, but is actually done in the shops. As I am always helped very friendly by the shop assistents, male or female.

Thank you for writing.
Peter v.

[miniskirt07]

Sorry Im usual mixed in Scottish and English as my English are wee bit mixed up (Im Scots)... and I understand about size and shape.

PS; I find quite comfortable to wear knit mini dress with tights and boots - it so soft... I just tried to see and seem quite nicely... no need to be afriad just try out and see what it look like

[Sarongman]

Miniskirt07, is (Scots) Gaelic your first language? Scots, Irish & Manx are closely linked as Welsh, Cornish and Breton are linked yet never the twain groups shall understand each other!! My great great great grandfather emigrated to Australia from Scotland ( Andrews, a subclan of the Ross clan) in 1832 and his Bible, in Gaelic, is in a museum on the mid north coast of N.S.W.

[miniskirt07]

Miniskirt07, is (Scots) Gaelic your first language? Scots, Irish & Manx are closely linked as Welsh, Cornish and Breton are linked yet never the twain groups shall understand each other!! My great great great grandfather emigrated to Australia from Scotland ( Andrews, a subclan of the Ross clan) in 1832 and his Bible, in Gaelic, is in a museum on the mid north coast of N.S.W.

No I used Scottish Gaelic and English also other Scottish words like you read the Oor Wullie/The Broon books that how I usual find this so easily as I usual mixed up --- Yes Im Scots.

[miniskirt07]

Im wearing black warmer polo wool jumper, black Wolford Cotton Velvet tights with black mini cord dugaree and black suede calf boots that look nicely also it much wamer cos it very cold in my home area...

I have plenty og snuggy boots (knee length and calf boots) - I do have lots of boots like ankle, calf and knee lenght (flat heel) - it so comfortable..