Newbie

[supertaff]

Hello All. New here so I though I make an introduction.

I'm a skirt/dress wearer from cardiff (That's in S. Wales for those not in the UK)
Basically, I'm a crossdresser, but not of the usual ilk.
I don't want to be feminine, I just love the clothes.
Sometimes I go the whole hog for the sexual thrill, but more often than not, I like to slip into something "more comfortable"

Though I do wear ladies undies at times, it's not a must do for me.

At the moment, I'm wearing my netball kit. Blue "airtex" top, and pleated skirt.
It's by far the coolest ensemble I have to wear.

I have quite a few skirts and dresses, but I rarely get to wear them.
My wife does not agree with my "deviant ways"
I presented myself to my wife last night wearing my kit. She was not amused.
She knows I like to dress this way but never wants to be part of it.
Strangely, when we were younger, she used to dress me in her underwear quite frequently...These days, she'd shoot me if she caught me wearing them She has allowed me to keep a "stash" but she's not happy when she sees it's been disturbed.

Reading through the messages on this forum, I feel it's more my kind of place.
I've been on CD forums but it's all a bit weird. At least you guys on here are guys on here. Few of you use fem names or call each other girls.

I don't want to be a girl, I'm more than happy being male. I just like the feel and comfort of female clothing. Everything from the underwear outwards feels much better than the crap we get to wear as men.

My wife is a high flying business woman. I haven't seen her in a skirt or a dress for over a year. It's OK for her to dress in "male" attire 100%, but for me to don a skirt (albeit a very short netball skirt) is utterly wrong .
I suffer bouts of depression, and dressing this way relieves a lot of this.
My wife would rather see me on drugs for the rest of my days than in a skirt.

My wife is away on business tonight. After I put my son to bed, I changed.
I've just been sat out in the garden where there is a cool and welcome breeze.
The wind up my skirt is an electrifying feeling, one that I hope to be able to feel more often.
After presenting myself to my wife last night, she knows that I'll be dressing this way in future. Not too often, but when I need to. Hopefully she'll get to accept it over time.

She's known of my desires since we were 16. I guess she thought that I'd grow out of it I'm nearly 40 now and my desires are stronger than ever.

A few years back I used to play netball in a mixed team. My wife encouraged it. We had bespoke kit consisting of a netball dress. The girls on the team insisted that the boys wore the same kit( I didn't argue). They even insisted that we saved our legs.... We gave up on this after a few months, but the kit stayed. Sadly the team disbanded after three of the girls became pregnant.
I got to keep my kit, but rarely wear it these days as I prefer the skirt/top to the dress.

I get very frustrated that girls can wear what the hell they like, but a man puts on a skirt and get humiliated and shunned for being a pervert.
It's bloody annoying! Why can't we wear what the hell we like. They can!

That's enough from me for a first post.

It's a great group. I'm glad I found you.

ST

[Bob]

ST, welcome to SkirtCafe! You are right, this is a site for "manly men", not men pretending to be women. In fact, feminine names are banned by site policy (women excepted).

I would challenge your assertion that you're a "crossdresser". We've had a lot of discussion on the issue and opinions vary. In my view, the difference between cross-dressing and wearing a skirt is whether or not you're trying to pretend to be or pass as a woman. A woman wearing jeans is not crossdressing, and neither are you wearing a skirt. But if you wear a skirt, a padded bra, a wig and call yourself "Susie" --- well, that's a different story for a different bulletin board.

So again, welcome!

[Since1982]

I just like the feel and comfort of female clothing. Everything from the underwear outwards feels much better than the crap we get to wear as men.

One thing for you to think about, it's NOT female clothing if a male is wearing it. It's then MALE clothing. Comfortable MALE clothing. A skirt/dress/netball kit/etc. worn by a MAN is MEN'S clothes. Just like the pants suit your wife wears is not MEN'S wear, it's WOMEN'S wear because a WOMAN is wearing it. Hence a word we use here a lot, M.U.G. = Male Unbifurcated Garment. Bifurcated means 2 tubes for 2 legs, like trousers etc. Unbifurcated means 1 tube for 2 legs. ie: Skirts/dresses/netball kits/sarongs/sulus/tupenas/kimonos/kilts/bearskins/buffalo hides/surfkilts/your wifes curtains..etc etc etc..you get what I mean..

Welcome to the SkirtCafe and many happy returns!! As long as you don't start referring to yourself as Susie or Beverly, you're at the right site!

By the way, I've been skirting publically for nearly 2 years now and wonder constantly why I didn't start doing that when I first wore a sarong in the Central Pacific in 1972 or when I first started wearing actual skirts in my home in 1982..Hence my screen name.

Check my avatar, taken at this years World Series Of Poker last week in Las Vegas, I played in a Seniors Tournament, didn't win but had a lot of fun, didn't take even ONE pair of trousers with me. Spent the entire week in Vegas in various skirts and a purple jumper. Got tons of compliments, no negative comments at all. Overall a great vacation and experience.

One of our members came up with the best response to anyone who asks why I/you/we/us are wearing skirts. I like it..>>> "Comfort Before Conformity"..

[Bravehearts.us]

First of all, welcome to the Café, Supertaff. We’ll be looking forward to more of your post.
I have a few thoughts that I would like to share in regards to your post.

“I get very frustrated that girls can wear what the hell they like, but a man puts on a skirt and get humiliated and shunned for being a pervert.”

It’s a misconception that women can wear whatever they like without consequences. They get labeled and excluded too. But it goes without saying that they do have more freedom and options in regards to their clothing.
Humiliation starts from within. It’s something YOU feel because of something. It’s not something anyone can do to you if you don’t let it happen.
Are you a pervert? Do you feel like a pervert? Or are you assuming others see you as a pervert because of your clothes?

“It's bloody annoying! Why can't we wear what the hell we like. They can!”
We can do anything we want but as with all things there are degrees of consequence that we all face. Acceptance of males and females are at different levels for different things in this world. There was a time when women couldn’t vote or wear pants. They gained those freedoms gradually. That’s where we are with UGs…gaining acceptance.

“After presenting myself to my wife last night, she knows that I'll be dressing this way in future. Not too often, but when I need to. Hopefully she'll get to accept it over time.”
Need suggests a hole, an emptiness, a void. So what is the need that gets filled by the clothes you wear? Is what you have a true need or is it a desire?

“It's OK for her to dress in "male" attire 100%, but for me to don a skirt (albeit a very short netball skirt) is utterly wrong”
Does she truly purchase and dress in male clothing or is what she wears a female version of it?
Who decided that it was wrong?

“She has allowed me to keep a "stash" but she's not happy when she sees it's been disturbed.”
Allowed? I have to question that word in any relationship. Do the two of you have parts of your relationship that you rule over each other?

“I don't want to be feminine, I just love the clothes.
Sometimes I go the whole hog for the sexual thrill, but more often than not, I like to slip into something "more comfortable"
Many of us like the clothes of the opposite sex for many different reasons. This goes for women also. For many of them it’s a sexual turn on to wear their husband’s underwear. Clothes are designed for appeal, whether it’s status, sexual or whatever. Many times we see something in a catalogue thinking we are going to look like the model that wears them. We want to look like that. When men look at women and “want to look like that”, then there are other issues then just fashion freedom. We aren’t trying to look like that any more; we are trying to BE like that. To LOOK like and to BE like are totally different. One is a copy or and they other is the essence of.

Hoping to hear more from you soon.
Lar

[supertaff]

Thanks for all your replies. Most interesting.

A few things.
When I refer to ladies clothing, I'm refering to clothing that is traditonally worn by ladies. Clothing that is styled in a feminine waye etc etc etc.
I fully understand the point that if a man is wearing it then it's male clothing.

As for being a crossdresser.... well I guess that's open to debate. I never go by a girls name (if a boy were called Susie, would not Susie be a boys name?)
I have (most of the time) a lot of facial hair. Shaving has never been my favouite pasttime. I'll never look feminine, nor do I intend to. I just like the look and feel of the clothing. To me a crossdresser is someone who wears the clothing (traditionally thought of as being) of the opposite sex.... I accused my wife of being a crossdresser the other night... Oops!
I know back in history men traditionally wore tights, and boys were traditionall dressed as girls.

As for being allowed to keep a stash...
Neither of us own/rule the other, but we do have to live with each other and respect each other's wishes. If my wife wanted a tattoo, I'd have something to say about it. If she wanted to go out and party every night, I'd have something to say about it. Maybe "allowed" was too strong a word. My wife has not objected (that strongly) about me keeping a stash.


Need or desire...
Both.
Sometimes it's a need, sometimes a desire. I depends on mood.
When I'm stressed, and feel depression coming in and my anger threshold is rapidly shrinking, nothing helps the situation better than popping on a skirt and perhaps some underwear.

Sometimes, I'm perfectly happy and just get the urge to "dress up". I desire the feel of the underwear, and want to "dress as a girl"
This is where my belief that I'm a CD comes from. Though I'll never "pass" or even want to, sometimes I want be dress "all girly"... I never call myself Susie though

It's just about 8:00 AM here. My son as been packed off to swimming class, my wife is 100 miles away. I'm about to start tidying the house. I'm not stressed at all, I'm quite happy. The sun is out, there some great music on the radio, but I'm dressed in a skirt,blouse and undies... I think I look great. I feel great. Today is definately a desire day, not a need... This is why I feel I fall into the two camps.

With me it's very much like drinking.
Somtimes I like a drink, sometimes I have to have one.
A hot summer's day sat in the garden, I'd like an ice cold beer.
Life is throwing all the crap at you, the misses is yelling, the nipper is running about like a mad thing.... I NEED a drink.
Same with my choice of clothes.

I never wear a skirt out publicly as society (around here at least) has yet to accept the idea. I don't worry about what people think of me, it's how what is said/done effects my family. Most of the people around here wouldn't care what I wore, but a few would, especially the youngsters. These brats could make life hell, and it's not fair on my wife and child for me to put them through it.
I get enough stick for wearing cycling shorts, God help if the brats saw me dressed the way I am at the moment

ST

[Skirt Chaser]

Strangely, when we were younger, she used to dress me in her underwear quite frequently...These days, she'd shoot me if she caught me wearing them She has allowed me to keep a "stash" but she's not happy when she sees it's been disturbed.

Sounds like it was all in fun when dressing you up was under her control. When you dress for yourself now it probably makes her wonder who you are. If you haven't already and if she is open to discussing the issue give her the same reassurances you have told us- you are happy as a man and that men can wear anything without changing who they are. Yet at the same time you also seem to get pleasure from them being clothes sold as women's so it sounds complicated.

It can always be something as basic as taste that is off-putting for your wife too. To give an example, I'm on this site from the supporting side, my wonderful guy wears skirts I think he looks great in. He also has a few that are in more teenager styles that just don't suit him to my eyes and don't attract me. I want my man, not a mall rat. :shake: Nevermind I feel I should be able to wear anything I want even if it isn't considered age-appropriate, he of course deserves the same choice so I know it is not a reaction based in logic.

Welcome to posting, Supertaff.

Quiet Mouse

[Departed Member]

Ever thought your other half might be accepting of a Kilt? Wales is the latest nation to 'adopt' the traditional style, complete with brand new tartans in the names of several of the more common Welsh families? Whilst I would fully admit to having never seen anyone Kilted in Wales (with the notable exception of (primarily) Scottish visitors for Internationals, oh, and myself!), would this be regarded as 'acceptable' by your wife? They've even given it a new name, "Cilt", to try and attract Welsh interest (well, they had little choice as Welsh is five letters short of an alphabet, including "K"!).

Many of us have/had spousal problems, skirt-wise, to some degree. Wife's friends, Sisters-in-Law, even Mother-in-Law all accepting, nay, approving, but not the one you'd hope and expect support from! That said, I think you've got to try and see it from their (albeit, narrow?) point of view. Does the donning of, say, bras, high heels, make-up or whatever, indicate a latent desire to 'become a woman', thus undermining/destroying their relationship? Only the individual can answer this. The vast majority of contributers here adopt a strictly 'masculine' approach - a skirt is a piece of apparel, that is more comfortable than the (usual) bi-furcated alternative.

[sterlin6]

Supertaff

Your story sounds a lot like the way I first felt when I started to wear kilts a lot more often than the odd family wedding or dance etc. As has been said the good thing about the kilt is that it is accepted ,ive found, in the UK in general as a very smart and manly form of dress. Ive worn mine in England,Wales(north) and here of course and its always attracted attention but most of it very complimentary which makes me feel good.
It also allows me to get the feelings of wearing a skirt which I find quite pleasureable because my whole thing about wearing kilts started when I was a boy here in Scotland.
Try a kilt . Your good lady might be more understanding to that. If you want to talk more then PM me if you like. The guys and girls here probably dont want to know my whole boring life story.
All the best
Ian

[Tripp49]

Hello Supertaff,and welcome to the Cafe.You may be very surprised just how well a skirt or kilt is accepted in your neighborhood if you just put one on and go out.If a skirt is too much to try at first get a kilt,I will just about bet you no one will say anything.Chances are you will get some great comments. Most of our fears are in our own minds.It is unreal how much society has accepted a man in a skirt over the last few years,and a kilt is a non issue.So just go for it,just act as if a skirt/kilt is your everyday attire.

Tripp49:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

[boca]

Welcome Supertaff!

I would like to emphasize that it is how you hold yourself as a person, for example your attitude, composure, etc., is and clothing only accentuates this. Granted that someone may see a conflict between what you wear and how they percieve you as a person, but this is simply their own expectactions of society's norms and not a judgement on who you are.

When you mentioned in your first post that your wife used to dress you in her underwear and now she won't do it period, this seems like it has to do with her growing into a more stricter view of what society expects. Also as you say you still have the same clothing style preferences as you had when you had first met. It seems to me that she has been highly influenced from society as she has grown up, and this really didn't have much to do with you as much as how she has carved her own path in life.

[Bravehearts.us]

I have to commend you on your trust and openness here. Many find that difficult when they are new to this. I think you are going to get a lot of good information, support and make many friends.
Thanks for responding to my questions.
Lar

[Since1982]

It's all about confidence. When I was in Las Vegas last week I only had 2 instances of people that "might" have said something negative if I'd not shown the absolute confidence I did. One older gent looked me right in the eyes and then slowly moved his gaze down to my skirt, looked at it a while and brought his gaze back up to my eyes. I stared him right in the eyes with a big smile and a defiant glare and he wilted before saying anything negative at all and he stooped slightly and wobbled away...I think he was well into the middle stages of drunkeness. The other instance was a younger guy that said the famous line, "What's with the skirt?" To which I smiled and answered nicely with "In this weather it's tons cooler than those hot leather trousers you're wearing!" To which he just nodded his head, smiled and wandered away... So no really negative comments at all and about 15 positive ones. All the positive comments were from women from 15 to 45 in age. My favorite was from a nice young girl about 22 years old.."What a good idea for a man to wear" To which I BEAMED and said, I've been wearing them since 1982. She said, "That's GREAT!!!" then smiled widely and went back to the FullTilt Poker.com courtesy suite. :ninjajig: :ninjajig:

[wintermute]

Hi ST,

sorry to read about the pradicament you are in. As a suggestion, have you considered wearing a kilt? Perhaps in a way that would be a more acceptable form of skirt wearing in the eyes of your wife? See where it would lead from there....