Will soon be going public

[Dasani]

Hi all, I am a newbie to this forum.

I am a 25 year old guy straight as can be. Led a very normal childhood and life.

Ever since I was really young I have been fascinated with the clothes that girls got to wear, and when I was alone quite often would wear my sisters skirts, dresses and tights just to see how it felt, and I loved it. So then as others have said, this led me to wonder if maybe I have gender issues. I am perfectly happy and content with the fact that I am a guy. The only hangup I've had is the fact that girls get to wear all these other cool clothing items, therefore leading me to believe that maybe the best thing would be for me to be a girl so I could get away with wearing those clothes and not fall under any persecution.

I am not really interested in really brightly colored or frilly skirts. I have always been more attracted to the more conservative looking skirts anyway. I don't like real colorful frilly skirts on girls or myself. I think girls look very cute and attractive in the same type of skirts that I would like to wear.

Anyway, as soon as I moved out of my parents house, (and very carefully when I still lived with my parents) I started wearing skirts when I was by myself. I would never go out around anybody. Been wearing skirts at home for about 7 years or so now.

Well, of coarse like I said earlier, my thoughts were that if I love wearing skirts so much, I must have some gender issues or something. But luckily due to the wonderful advent of the internet, I recently began searching for "men in skirts" and things to gain more understanding into the subject. Was very happy and pleased to find out that I am deffinently not the only guy in the world that wants to wear skirts, but not in an effort to appear as a woman such as a TV or TS. And furthermore, I was very happy to find that there are actual skirts designed for men, along with plenty of argument for men wearing skirts, and that it is perfectly masculine to do so!

So it got me thinking more and more about the stupidity of the idea that skirts are a girls only clothing item. I mean come on! From research I now understand how that whole change came about, and that the only reason it is somewhat unnacceptable for a guy to wear a skirt now days is simply because people are not used to it now, and have been conditioned through time, that it is only "Normal" for women and girls to wear skirts.

So thanks to the information in this and other forums on the internet, I am finally very close to going out in public. But in order to do so I need a skirt that will not draw too much attention to me, and will look good on me with my dress style. I am not all that fond of kilts personally. I may try one some day. But I really prefer long skirts that go atleast to my ankles with no slits up the sides or anything. I was very happy to come accross the Macabi because it posseses the exact look I have been looking for all this time. I have read just about every review I could find on them, including the ones on this forum. None of the things mentioned as negatives seem to be enough to keep me from buying and wearing one. So I ordered a long black one. Dont' really ever intend to use it's conversion features since I want to wear a skirt and that's what I am buying it for. It should be arriving in the next few days.

Now as far as my family goes. I do not live in my parents home, but I live close to them and visit them often. I am sure that when they first see me wearing it, that it will raise quite a few questions, and because of our religious background it may even bring up conversation of the morality of a man wearing a skirt. But I am prepared for those possible discussions. After the questions and discussions are over, I feel that they will be quite accepting and realize that it is only a different type of clothing, and that they have not lost their son to Transsexualsm or anything. That I am a perfectly straight guy perfectly happy with the fact that I am a guy. And the way I plan to wear it with the kinds of mens button up shirts I will be wearing with it, I don't think will be much of a problem. I do love tights though and would love to be able to wear tights under my skirts, so hopefully I can work that in sometime. The skirt is long enough that as far as they're concerned, maybe I'm just wearing thin socks. So whatever.

Now as far as church goes:shifty: In our church normally the girls all wear skirts or dresses and all the guys wear pants, and white shirts and ties. Very seldom will you see a young man wear a skirt type clothing item or Sarong because he has been called to serve a church mission in a foreign country where that clothing is normal for men, so he will wear that to church as a symbol of his preparing to go to the country or whatever. But that is the only time in our church that you ever see a guy wearing a skirt.

However, I plan to. I intend to wear my black Macabi skirt together with the usual white shirt and tie. So from the waist up I will look perfectly normal to everyone there. And if they can get over the fact that skirts are not only a girls clothing item, I'm sure I will look just fine. I am however worried about a couple people there who have kids especially the ones with young boys who might be concerned that I may be confusing their sons and possibly causing them to want to take on this disgusting practice. And I do want to be a good example to the kids around me, so that is my main hangup about wearing a skirt to church. But I still think I am going to do it. Besides, there are pictures of Jesus Christ all over the walls of our church, and you show me one picture where he is wearing pants. I think it would be good for the people to explain to their kids that years ago everyone wore skirt like clothing, and that it only seems weird for a guy to wear a skirt now, because we are not used to it. Not because it is wrong.

I LOVE skirts. I love the look of a person wearing a long skirt, I love the feel of wearing skirts, and for years I have wished so bad that I could wear skirts everywhere I go. Like walking around Disneyland, or going to a movie. Whatever! I just love the comfort of wearing a skirt! I find myself sitting and watching girls in skirts very closely, and how they walk, and sit, and every little thing they do in the skirt and I think of how nice it would be to be able to wear a skirt myself everywhere I go. So I am so glad to have come accross this and other websites that help me to realize that it is OK to do! And I'm glad that the internet has helped me better develop a stradegy in my argument when confronted by my parents and others for the first while that I am wearing skirts around them.

I have read what other people have said about the Macabi looking too much like a girls skirt. But I love the looks of it. I love denim skirts too, but to me those look more like a girls skirt than the Macabi does for some reason.

Anyway, sorry this was so long. I have a lot more to say, but I'll end it now. Happy to have found that I am not alone.

[skirttron]

Yikes Dasani that's quite a brain dump. Congratulations on deciding to go publicly skirted. My own pet theory on why some dislike skirts on men (especially those shock troops of convention, very young dumb men and very old women), is that seeing us wearing them upsets their cherished internal model of the world, that they have spent their lives building up. It is this kind of model shock that makes people laugh or react stupidly, because they suddenly realize that everything they know is wrong.
I hope you have a great time in your skirt, and by the way, you got round to wearing one a lot sooner than I did.

[cessna152towser]

A very interesting post which must have taken a lot of courage. Yes thanks to the internet us men are realising that we are not alone nor sexually abnormal in wanting the freedom of wearing a skirt like garment. I'm probably at an advantage being Scottish and therefore having occasionally worn a tartan kilt for dancing and special occasions for many years before my wife bought me my first solid black kilt at Christmas 2002. Now I own six kilts and seven trousers. Of my six kilts, four are traditional Scottish style and two are lightweight polyester kilts by Mercy Clothing company. The Macabi skirt sounds a very bold step for a first public skirting and you may feel more at ease by starting with the Mercy Kilt. It won't look quite as macho as a real Scottish kilt, having fewer pleats and being slightly longer, and doesn't have the swing of a real kilt, but is very light and a very comfortable material and can be bought on e-bay for under £25. If you don't want a tartan it is available in solid black or black with pinstripe. Fashions change. When my wife and I married more than twenty years ago she wore skirts and dresses every day and I wore the trousers. Now she wears trousers every day as most women do and she prefers me to wear kilts. In a few years time there will be more men than women wearing kilts/skirts. Best of luck and happy skirting. Let us know how you get on, especially with the issues of parents and church.

[ChrisM]

Welcome aboard Dasani.

I recently inventoried my closet and I find that I own 5 trousers and 35 skirts.

I will admit that I wear only a very small subset of the skirts to church (Calvary Chapel). I try to pick those that will be perceived as kilts.

But I wear a much broader selection to our home group / bible study group, and so far nobody has said anything.

Welcome aboard, and best wishes.

Chris

[Dasani]

Thanks for the welcomes.

Yeah I am far from scottish so it's not like I could really feel comfortable wearing a kilt trying to pull off a scottish look:-) But I know a LOT of you who wear them are not scottish either. I just feel better about my whole legs being covered especially at church since just about anything less than calf length even on girls gets looks of disapproval.

I almost feel like if I'm going to go skirted and make the statement and argument that skirts are not only a girls clothing item, I might as well go with as much as an actual "Skirt" as possible:-) I don't think I could do it wearing something that was not designed specificly for men like a kilt or the macabi skirt. Because part of my explanation will be that the skirt I am wearing is actually made FOR MEN!!

Anyway, yeah if the time comes and I actually have the guts to do it I will let you know how it goes. ha ha

[W.M.]

...I recently re-joined the church I was baptized in, and hadn't gone in a long time. Since it is a conservative church, I was a little concerned myself. Before my Mom died last year, the pastor (a really nice guy and now a good friend) would visit my house and see me in my skirt/kilt, and it was never a problem. On my Mother's death bed, I promised her I'd go back, and so I did. And guess what...?

They welcomed me back with OPEN ARMS, kilts and skirts and all, and even had a special potluck to welcome me back (along with other new members) and I had to stand up in front of everybody and tell them about myself! Now I go every Sunday and to all the Lenten services, and will be going to Easter Sunrise services. I also take communion in a kilt, and It's never a problem.

It would also happen to be that I'm probably the only male in the church's 106 year history who has worn a skirt of some type to their services.

(tbh, I could tell a few amusing (although positive) anecdotes about the above).

Does your church have a written dress code, or is it just implied?

[Dasani]

Well my church kind of somewhat has a written dress code I think. But it is more of a thing suggesting that guys should wear nice slacks and white shirts and ties. But it's not like it's something that is enforced or anything. If you are going to be doing certain duties in the church like administering the sacrament, you are asked to be sure you are wearing a white shirt and tie. But I think it's just kind of one of those things where the guys wearing skirts hasn't really been an issue to be discussed. Guess I'll give 'em reason to discuss it real soon. ha ha. I'm pretty sure that as long as you are not immodest, and wearing a really short skirt that is flashing your thighs and stuff, that no one would really have a problem.

And I kind of take back what I said earlier about kilts. I have been looking at them more seriously today and as long as I got one that was atleast 27 inches long wich I've found, I think I would be okay with that. But I will not wear the Sporan, nor will I wear the socks, or the hat:-) If I can get away with wearing just the kilt itself and none of the other usual stuff that goes along with it, and as long as it goes atleast a couple inches below my knees, I could handle that I think. And I'm also not into not wearing anything underneath. Would deffinently have my underwear on:-) I don't mean any disrespect to the full blown scottish kilt, it's just not for me.

[Departed Member]

And I kind of take back what I said earlier about kilts. I have been looking at them more seriously today and as long as I got one that was atleast 27 inches long wich I've found, I think I would be okay with that. .... If I can get away with wearing just the kilt itself and none of the other usual stuff that goes along with it, and as long as it goes atleast a couple inches below my knees, I could handle that I think. .... I don't mean any disrespect to the full blown scottish kilt, it's just not for me.

PLEASE, Please, if you're going to wear a Kilt (regardless of the accessories!), don't wear one that goes below your kneecap!!!!!! :shake: That look is just plain awful.....................!

[Since1982]

I know!!! If it's a kilt that is 27 inches long and goes below his knees can't we call it a wrap skirt? Wrap skirts can be any length right? Also if he is a bit on the chubby side like me, skirts don't look all that great if they're too short. Our slenderer members can get away with mid thigh and above skirts but us chubbier guys just look fatter if the skirt is too high. That's my opinion and anyone has the right to disagree. ~pray~

[Dasani]

Also if he is a bit on the chubby side like me, skirts don't look all that great if they're too short. Our slenderer members can get away with mid thigh and above skirts but us chubbier guys just look fatter if the skirt is too high.

Exactly my problem! I am on the heavier side, and shorter skirts just would not look right on me. So okay, if I get a kilt that goes below the knees I'll call it a wrap skirt and still wear it:-)

[ChrisM]

I wear 'kilts' that are below the knee. Indeed my favorite length is about 30 inches (I am 75 inches tall). Yes, I know they aren't 'proper' kilts - indeed they were manufactured and sold as ladies kilt skirts. But tough. I like the look. And I find it much easier to sit modestly in them than in a 24 inch standard kilt.

And in the USA there are few people knowledgable enough to know the difference.

I wear a suit jacket, white shirt, and tie. Black wing tips and gentlemen's socks. I get compliments on this look frequently. I have a ladies' handbag that I wear like a sporran. (I prefer the handbag because it is adapted to modern life, with credit card slots, currency slot, even a cell-phone pouch.) Again, the look gets compliments and represents nothing more than a contemporary adaptation of the traditional kilt.

Someone hereabouts used to say "Kilts are clothing, not costumes." That captures the intent of my modifications. I do not intend to be bound by some rules about what should or should not be worn with the kilt. After all, this IS about fashion FREEDOM, not a new kilt tyranny.

That said of course please understand that I try very hard to maintain an outstandingly good look. I want to advance our cause, not harm it by, as the naysayers might have it, "dressing like a clown."

Dasani, please let me also suggest that you Google Deuteronomy 22 and prepare yourself for the argument that a man should not dress like a woman. While in my church I have never been called on this, my church is pretty easygoing. My previous church would not have taken it in stride.

My reply - as yet unused - is to ask the brother to read a little further down to the subsequent verse about not wearing garments made of mixed fibers, and then ask him if he will first go home and throw away all his mixed Cotton/Polyester blends.

But my point is not to coach you in your reply, but to encourage you to have a reply, and have done the research to use it.

Best wishes to you,

Chris

[davereporter]

Dasani,

Visit Steve at http://groups.msn.com/whynotskirtsformen. He has had considerable experience with the church's attitudes to men in skirts (some good, some not so good).

I suspect is has a lot to do with the openness of your group.

Dave

[Dasani]

Okay, I told you all that I was planning on wearing a skirt to church on sunday. So today I put on my standard white shirt and tie, then I put on my long black macabi skirt and sandals (with no socks).

Okay so first I had a before church meeting with some other guys including my dad. A couple of the guys asked if I was going for a samoan or hawaii'an look and I just said "Maybe" so they dropped it and didn't pay any further attention to me. A couple of the other guys looked but did not say anything. My dad however got this really big stupid grin on his face and said "What are you wearing?" I said "A men's skirt" he goes "Why!?!?!" so I say "Why not?!?" then he says "Okay" with a continued perplexed look on his face, and then he walked off to do something. And he didn't say anything more after that and didn't really give me more oportunity to explain. So we had the meeting just fine.

Well after the meeting, some other people started showing up for church and really didn't pay much attention, or appear to anyway, and no one said anything. So I was sitting there on the bench waiting for church to start and here comes my mom, sister and brother in law and they get ready to sit down next to me. My mom looks at me and asks "What are you wearing?" I said "A skirt" she says "Why are you wearing a skirt?" So I was trying to explain it to her when she just totally flipped out, dropped her bags right there on the floor and said "I can't handle this" and she walked out of the chapel. Then my sister and brother in law were sitting there trying to tell me why it was wrong that I was wearing a skirt in church, so I figured I better go find my mother and try to explain it better, so I find her and she is crying and just totally flipped out about the whole thing. And she goes off about how she never in a million years thought that I would do such a thing, like I had murdered someone or something, and she says that it is entirely un-appropraite for me to be dressed like that and that she is feeling sick now and just wants to go home because she can not handle this. That someone else is going to have to teach the lesson that she was supposed to teach because she can't stay there now, because this is just too completely weird and un-acceptable. She was mostly worried about how it would reflect on her as my mother, and that is totally selfish as far as I'm concerned. Then someone came along and needed to close the door to the doorway we were standing in, so I left and got in my car and came home before church even really got started.

I was perfectly fine there, and was prepared to handle whatever comments other people would throw my way, but I had no idea my mother would respond with such disgusting disdain and un-acceptance as she did. Was the most intense situation I have experienced in a LONG time!! Shortly after getting home I decided that it wasn't fair that I should miss church because of her, so since my skirt apparently caused such a ruckuss I changed into my pants and was going to go back to the church and pretend that nothing ever happened, but right before I was ready to leave, here come my mom and sister who had followed me home to discuss the issue. Weirdest freakin conversation on the verge of a fight that I've ever had. I mean telling your mother and sister why you should be able to wear skirts, and that you are not gay, and not a cross dresser, or a TV and trying to convince them that they are the irrational ones here and that what I did was not so incredibly weird and sinful!

Holy freakin hell I tell you what! That was NOT COOL!!! I love my family very much and was so much looking forward to being able to wear skirts around them and have them accept it. I had all these dreams of being able to go visit places and go on vacations with them and wearing skirts and being so much more comfortable. But all that was flushed down the toilet today with an absolutely pathetic outright overboard reaction of my mother. I'm sure it flipped my dad out too, but he is more reserved and quiet about stuff.

So much for my dreams! I will have one hell of a time ever going around them now and not having this discussion hanging over my head and knowing that they know I would rather be wearing skirts. Who knows, maybe they will realize how much it means to me and tell me that it wouldn't bother them if I did, but I highly doubt it and do not expect that to ever happen, and even if it did, I would feel weird about doing it. I would just move away and dress how I want to, but there is too much here for me, and there is a little girl I have befriended in our church who has become the most important special thing in the world to me, and I could not imagine leaving her for any reason! It's bad enough that my mothers reaction caused me to leave church today before I got to see my little angel!

I am very very hurt and upset right now and am not sure what to do. Can't move away just yet, but I can't excersize my freedom to wear the kind of clothes I want to either. What a crappy situation!! Damn I swear I just wanted to find a rock to crawl under rather than have the conversation I had with my mother and sister!

[cessna152towser]

Your mother needs to realise that you are 25, and an adult, and its no longer her place to try to dictate what you wear. She needs to let go of her little boy. Somebody needs to explain to her that fashions change and that nowadays you choosing to wear a skirt is no different from your sister choosing to wear trousers. That said it is perhaps unfortunate that her first introduction to the skirted you was in a public place like a church rather than letting her come to terms with the idea first in her own home. It isn't easy to advise you how to get round the present awkwardness. I had a steady girlfriend from the age of 15 whom my parents liked very much, but when she went off with a transexual and I was about your age, I began dating a look-alike who was a totally incompatible personality whom I then married within a few weeks. This caused a lot of argument with my parents, particularly my mother. The marriage broke up after a year or so and I felt almost suicidal, but I made peace with my father, then with my mother, then I married Ann whom I'd known as a friend for a long time. We've now been married 22 years. My mother died 14 years ago and my father died 2 years ago and I thank God that I was on good terms with them in their later years. The answer is for it to be somehow explained to your mother that nowadays skirts for men are perfectly acceptable and that she should be proud of you for having the courage to be in the vanguard of fashion and that she has absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. Do you have an older friend who approves of your skirt who might have a word with her? If she needs evidence that there is nothing wrong with you, there are lots of kilts/menskirts sites on the web. There are plenty of straight and normal guys like me on this forum - I've always had a regular girl, been twice married, fathered a daughter who is now 25, yet nowadays I wear kilts (including modern non-wool, non tartan kilts which many people would call skirts) as often as I wear trousers. My wife says she likes seeing me wearing kilts and my daughter, who is a goth, says I look cool in my black kilts. I am sure I am not alone in understanding how you must feel and you will be in my prayers tonight that you will be at peace with your mum and that she will understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to wear a skirt.

[Since1982]

Cessna, I'm not so sure that as long as he lives in his mother/fathers house he really will have any say in who dictates what he is allowed to wear. Only by moving out to another city by himself and paying his own bills will he have the freedom we all wish/enjoy. Plus his father being a Bishop of the local Mormon church ward will have definite obligations for him as long as he lives at home. I watched a movie on TV the other night about a Mormon missionary in the 50's going to Tonga to teach the ways of the Mormon faith and even in a country where all the men wore Tupenas, (a wrap skirt like a sulu or pareo) John Groberg still wore his white shirt, tie and pants. One time he tried a tupena and seemed ok with it but was never in the movie seen in it again. I doubt his mother and father in Cedar City would have allowed him to wear a tupena there at all. The Mormons are very strict in what you can do and what you can't. I wish him good luck with the parents problem, but personally, I can't see it improving. ~pray~