Hello from VA

[Double_Wasp]

Hi All,
I have been perusing the Skirt Café site for a while and recently created an account. I first want to thank the many members whose insight has helped me navigate the MIS world. I first discovered skirts in the early summer of 2023. After seeing a man working at Home Depot in a utility kilt I thought to myself - that looks intriguing! I mentioned the possibility of getting a kilt to my wife and to my surprise, she immediately shot it down. After a few months (now early 2023) while my wife was on an extended trip I got the idea of picking up a skirt at the local second hand shop. This was a revelation - I couldn't believe how comfortable and liberating skirts are, at least to me! At this point I was not entirely comfortable wearing skirts made for women (not that this should matter) so I ordered a skirt from Skirt Kraft. This boosted my confidence and led to me actually wearing it out in public a couple times while my wife (MSO) was still traveling.

When MSO returned I revealed the new skirt. Her reaction was immediate disappointment and concern. I assured her that I have no desire to present as anything other than who I was previously. This gave her some relief and she set some ground rules - only in the house, never in public and I will never go out with you dressed like that. The rules were a starting point I felt might relax as she became more convinced that I wasn't turning into someone different than who she married. Over time I sensed she was becoming more relaxed about me skirting and I ventured out a couple times in public skirted without her. She was not too happy with me when she discovered this, but at the same time admitted that she doesn't have the right to dictate to me what I wear. She continued tolerating me wearing my limited skirt collection with my regular man clothes at home.

The following spring (2024) I developed a scare tissue problem from a hernia surgery that caused pain and discomfort. Wearing a skirt provided so much relief that I was wearing them much more often and started wearing them to work (after explaining the situation to my wife). She tolerated this pretty well but sensed some increasing hostility from her when skirted. After a few months the scar tissue problem resolved itself and I returned to less frequent skirting.

In the fall of 2024 my wife and I had a long trip planned and I was very concerned about a return of the scar tissue problem while traveling (due to all the sitting) so I picked up a Macabi skirt on ebay to bring along just in case. I explained to MSO the situation and she reluctantly accepted this. The main reason for the Macabi was the bifurcation conversion feature these have. I thought this would help my wife feel more comfortable about me wearing it during our travels. I did wear it a few times and she mostly seemed ok, but she did become increasingly hostile to it. We had a marvelous trip and saw many great things, but I sensed the skirting issue was becoming more of a problem for her.

After returning home the situation has worsened. I went back to occasionally wearing skirts at home and did venture out once or twice skirted. This has led to my wife being completely hostile to me wearing a skirt at any time and I'm not sure what to do with this. She is generally a compassionate and giving person - her mantras are "Don't be a dick" and "No judgement" which I find admirable, but these do not apply when I wear a skirt. I find this very confusing and difficult to reconcile in my analytical brain. I don't expect an easy or straightforward solution to this. I love my wife and we have made a great life together in so many ways. There are some issues, as I expect all relationships have, but her reaction to me skirting is a great concern - not so much because of the skirting but more so because of the duplicity of her attitude.

Thanks!
Double_Wasp

[Barleymower]

HI Double Wasp and welcome to the cafe. You will surely find a warm welcome and kindred souls.
Your story is familar one, one that baffles many of is still. Acceptance or lack of acceptance varies from couple to couple, with a few it is total, immediate acceptance and the other extreme is total rejection. Rejection that never changes. One thing though that all MIS have in common is that every MIS wants acceptance, no man just puts a skirt like a clean pair of socks and goes about their daily life. The right to dress as you choose is a women only right in 2025.

Check out Chips thread on help with partners.

Goodluck

[Mouse]

Welcome. Your story is typical, skirting in public is the easy bit, skirting with family, more tricky.

[Double_Wasp]

HI Double Wasp and welcome to the cafe. You will surely find a warm welcome and kindred souls.
Your story is familar one, one that baffles many of is still. Acceptance or lack of acceptance varies from couple to couple, with a few it is total, immediate acceptance and the other extreme is total rejection. Rejection that never changes. One thing though that all MIS have in common is that every MIS wants acceptance, no man just puts a skirt like a clean pair of socks and goes about their daily life. The right to dress as you choose is a women only right in 2025.

Check out Chips thread on help with partners.

Goodluck

Hi Barleymower. I agree with your assessment, and I would love to contribute to the effort to change the "woman's only right"! I have seen Chip's blog on significant others on his webpage - everybodyskirts - he does a really great job with the site and his passion for providing practical advice.

[Double_Wasp]

Mouse wrote:
> Welcome. Your story is typical, skirting in public is the easy bit,
> skirting with family, more tricky.

Hi Mouse. Yes, I agree - my story is not unique and while skirting in public is sometimes nerve racking, I find it is always rewarding! I love your posts and your general attitude towards skirting and life is inspiring.

[Mouse]

Mouse wrote:
> Welcome. Your story is typical, skirting in public is the easy bit,
> skirting with family, more tricky.

Hi Mouse. Yes, I agree - my story is not unique and while skirting in public is sometimes nerve racking, I find it is always rewarding! I love your posts and your general attitude towards skirting and life is inspiring.

Oh thanks Double_Wasp.

Now you have made a few posts, you should be able to see the rest of the site where a number of us put more pictures of our outfits to show others what is possible. http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewforum.php?f=69

[Seb]

Your predicament is unfortunately quite common around here, we can only hope that it, in time, comes to a positive conclusion.

[Sepchugang]

I'd like to add my welcome too.

As several others have already said your predicament resonates with many of the members of the cafe. I faced the same problem and still do to some extent. Unfortunately logic (women can wear what men traditionally wear - trousers/shirts/ties etc. - without any comments so why can't I wear a skirt) simply does not get a look in. I think everyone has to find their own best approach as we are all in different situations and there is probably no one single piece of advice that is guaranteed to work. Maybe you need to try to discover why your MSO is so against you wearing a skirt once you have shown that you are still you and not some 'deviant'. The answer, I think, in my case is embarrassment. She was worried about what all her friends would think or say once they learned her partner wears skirts. My solution was to find one of her friends who I know well and who I thought would not have a problem and I worked to get her on my side. I talked to her beforehand and wore a skirt when she next came round to the house. She was great, very supportive and essentially did not make a big deal about it. This helped to alleviate some of my MSO's fears and although she still does occasionally make 'remarks' she will now go out with me wearing a skirt and tights to local restaurants and on a recent holiday made no adverse comments when I wore a skirt all the time for two weeks. Slowly does it, patience and getting others to approve seems to be working for me.

[Double_Wasp]

I'd like to add my welcome too.

As several others have already said your predicament resonates with many of the members of the cafe. I faced the same problem and still do to some extent. Unfortunately logic (women can wear what men traditionally wear - trousers/shirts/ties etc. - without any comments so why can't I wear a skirt) simply does not get a look in. I think everyone has to find their own best approach as we are all in different situations and there is probably no one single piece of advice that is guaranteed to work. Maybe you need to try to discover why your MSO is so against you wearing a skirt once you have shown that you are still you and not some 'deviant'. The answer, I think, in my case is embarrassment. She was worried about what all her friends would think or say once they learned her partner wears skirts. My solution was to find one of her friends who I know well and who I thought would not have a problem and I worked to get her on my side. I talked to her beforehand and wore a skirt when she next came round to the house. She was great, very supportive and essentially did not make a big deal about it. This helped to alleviate some of my MSO's fears and although she still does occasionally make 'remarks' she will now go out with me wearing a skirt and tights to local restaurants and on a recent holiday made no adverse comments when I wore a skirt all the time for two weeks. Slowly does it, patience and getting others to approve seems to be working for me.

Hi Sepchugang,
I believe MOH likely has the same issue as yours - fear of embarrassment. You have provided some great advice and this is an avenue to explore further - Thanks for that!

[denimini]

Welcome Double_Wasp. It is evident that you are already getting some empathy from other members experiencing your situation, which is what we are about. It has been a perplexing problem for many.

Anthony from Australia

[Ozdelights]

Welcome Double-Wasp, please join our conversations. I have found 'embarrassment' to be the biggest obstacle for moh. For me it's been a very slow process, we couldn't be seen in public together whilst skirted. Maybe long distance from people where we couldn't be recognised.

Late last year we both ended up in the shop together buying fuel and food on a long trip south. No comments. This week on a long trip home I was refuelling and moh headed to buy food, drinks and pay for the fuel. Then she stopped and I was invited to come and help choose the food. Slow progress and I do love her dearly.

Barry

[Uncle Al]

Side-Bar:

When I first read your screen name, I - with my aviation background - immediately thought of
the Pratt & Whitney R-2800 'Double Wasp' radial aircraft engine. Are, or were, you employed
by Pratt & Whitney Corp Do, or did, you have any ties to aviation

Just curious

BTW,


Uncle Al

[Barleymower]

There has been some discussion here about wives (partner) acceptance of their personal choice to wear a skirts:

"skirting in public is the easy bit, skirting with family, more tricky"
"Maybe you need to try to discover why your MSO is so against you wearing a skirt once you have shown that you are still you and not some 'deviant'. The answer, I think, in my case is embarrassment. She was worried about what all her friends would think or say once they learned her partner wears skirts"
" believe MOH likely has the same issue as yours - fear of embarrassment"
"Then she stopped and I was invited to come and help choose the food. Slow progress and I do love her dearly"

I think we need to clear up a few truths about the women or partners in our lives. Women have fought vociferously and physically for equal rights. They have fought and won. To stand there now and deny a man the the same rights is hypocritical. Blatant hypocrisy. If there man ventures out in skirt they owe it to him and themselves to support him. Or did they fight for equally rights only to deny others? If that attitude is taken then sooner or later they will be on the receiving end of inequality and not necessarily from men but from other women.

If they cite fear, shame and embarrassment as a reason to attempting to deny a man from dressing as he chooses, then "Get over it!". Fear, shame and embarrassment are something we all deal with all the time. The man who ventures out for the first time in a skirt has more to deal with than you do.

Is it deviant? Deviant : Actions beyond human comprehension
This is just another one of the tools to put you back in your box. Accuse you of something indefensible, force you to back down. I can remember when it was said gay men should not be left alone with children. That attitude is still out there and it could not be further from the truth.

A skirt is just a piece of cloth around the waist. Partners should remember that when they are stood there with a piece of cloth wrapped around their waist demanding someone else take theirs off.

[Double_Wasp]

Side-Bar:

When I first read your screen name, I - with my aviation background - immediately thought of
the Pratt & Whitney R-2800 'Double Wasp' radial aircraft engine. Are, or were, you employed
by Pratt & Whitney Corp Do, or did, you have any ties to aviation

Just curious

BTW,


Uncle Al

You are correct - it is a reference to the PWA R2800 - arguably the best aircraft engine ever built. I spent most of my life manufacturing aircraft engine parts for engines like the R2800.

[Uncle Al]

You are correct - it is a reference to the PWA R2800 - arguably the best aircraft engine ever built.
I spent most of my life manufacturing aircraft engine parts for engines like the R2800.

For the Gas-Guzzlers among us, the R2800 has a 'certain sound' that can't be found anywhere else
The PT6-A is, IMHO, the best Kerosine burner around (Hey - it still swings a prop )

Uncle Al