Paradigm Shift On Shoes

[JeffB1959]

One upon a time when I was a member of a forum for men who liked wearing high heels, I was slavishly loyal to just one shoe style: the classic pump, the basic enclosed shoe. For the longest time, they were ALL I wore when I was on that forum, nothing else appealed to me back then, and that included any sort of style with open toes and/or backs, most notably mules or slides, or, as I called them, backless heels. Shoes like those I thought were ugly.

Fast forward to today. I've long since left that forum because the mods disliked my focusing more on outfits than shoes and came here, and, for reasons I couldn't quite explain, a fondness for backless heels came with me as well. That fondness didn't happen overnight, it began with sandals, both flat and heeled, a style I had disdain for became a staple for wearing in spring and summer, finding them more fun than I thought they'd be, and I came to prefer them over pumps. Next came backless heels which I came to greatly appreciate for both their style and ease of wear and how they looked good with my skirts and dresses, all at once, I couldn't get enough of wearing them, especially the Bellini "Fuss" slides which I just adore and wear as often as I can. This led to an experiment I conducted a few days where I took the LifeStride "Artist" shoes, cut off the back two straps, changing them from sandals to slides, and I just LOVED how much better the shoes looked (see before and after picture below).

So, now I'm fully sold on backless heels, nothing else does it for me, and that includes pumps which I haven't worn in years and probably won't ever wear again.

[Brad]

I find it difficult to wear anything without a back. My feet want to slide off the shoe.

[kingfish]

I remember that forum. I still surf it about once or twice a year.

My footwear of choice has been boots, the taller the better (especially the otk and thigh high varieties).
I still haven't grown tired of them yet and am looking forward to a new fall season when they'll get to come out of the closet once again.

And ohhh yeah, keeping the look coordinated makes all the difference. The act presenting examples that not only involve the item, but also properly framing them makes all the difference.

[JohnH]

I can't stand flip-flops where there is no back strap on the heel. I don't like the fwap-fwap feeling as I walk.

John

[DrFishnets]

I’ve been wanting to buy black high heel mules to go with a pair of sheer black fully fashioned nylon stockings I bought a while ago but it’s difficult finding a pair of those high heel mules that are a UK men’s size 11. Before anyone asks the black nylons are only worn in the privacy of my home when I am cosplaying as French maid or st trinians girls with my partner. However, I am tempted to wear those nylons with a long black midi T-shirt dress and a trench coat. Anyway back on topic my favourite high heels are black high heel court shoes or mules. Anyway, I’d have to lose weight before thinking of high heels.

[Uncle Al]

I am tempted to wear those nylons with a long black midi T-shirt dress and a trench coat.

An interesting look yet hidden by a trench coat

Anyway back on topic my favourite high heels are black high heel court shoes or mules.
Anyway, I’d have to lose weight before thinking of high heels.

Why do you keep talking about losing weight That should not stop you from enjoying
wearing what you want. Granted, I've lost 65lbs this past year. I now get to replace
many items in a smaller size

As for shoes - the wearing of heels - your weight is mainly carried on the ball of the foot.
Your toes and heels help you balance your weight, not support your weight.

My problem is edema(fluid retention) in my legs. I finally found a pair of shoes(made in China)
on Ebay, that actually come in my size. In a woman's style & size, I wear a U.S. 14.5,
that is a U.S. men's size 13. Take your size and add 1.5 sizes to get a woman's equivalent.

Next 'problem' is finding a shoe company that makes woman's styles in really large sizes,
without breaking the bank to pay for them

Uncle Al

[Mouse]

So, now I'm fully sold on backless heels, nothing else does it for me, and that includes pumps which I haven't worn in years and probably won't ever wear again.

I am nowhere near you on open heels. All of my public heels have been boots. I am not sure whether that is because I see boots as less feminine or boots are what I liked best on women when I was young. My only public open sandal type shoe is a Dr Marten sandal. In private I have some heeled sandals but I have never worked out, how to work them into my style.

This year I have got closer with my embracing Mary Janes into my style and I now have a couple of heeled versions that I have worn in public. So may be next summer, I will try to work in heeled sandals and even slides. The journey never ends, which keeps us interesting.

[JeffB1959]

JohnH: None of the backless heels I own make that sound. Other than the clicking of the heels on the ground, my shoes are relatively stealthy.

Mouse: I understand your reticence. Backless heels clearly aren't for everyone, and I'm fairly much a recent convert myself. Still, I've come to find those shoes to be fun to wear.

[DrFishnets]

An interesting look yet hidden by a trench coat

Why do you keep talking about losing weight That should not stop you from enjoying
wearing what you want. Granted, I've lost 65lbs this past year. I now get to replace
many items in a smaller size

As for shoes - the wearing of heels - your weight is mainly carried on the ball of the foot.
Your toes and heels help you balance your weight, not support your weight.

I’d actually be wearing black fully fashioned nylon stockings with Doc Martens or black timberland boots with a long T-shirt Midi dress when I’m out shopping or out in public in general and I would leave the high heel mules for wearing in the privacy of my home.

Concerning my weight I fear that I may break a heel because I am 280lbs at the moment and 6ft in height. I have some shoes where the heel part inside my shoes are squashed down and it’s making me think it’s because if my weight.

[rivegauche]

Most of the time i have been wearing court shoes with skirts and dresses but in public I have been adopting similar shoes with block heels just because they are easier to walk in on uneven surfaces. I own boots but I rarely wear them because I find them as stifling on my legs as trousers. Sandals are fine for bare legs in summer but not backless ones as I don't want them slipping off. I have flat shoes including ballerina shoes and loafers that are distinctly neater then the male version but I feel they draw attention because of the clicking sound they make on hard surfaces. I don't mind the clicking sound if I am presenting as a woman but it is one thing to be wearing a skirt as a man in public but another to draw attention to yourself when doing so.

[Ray]

Jeff, I remember you at HH place. You looked great in your pumps, and when you graduated to skirts, I loved the skirt/hose/pumps look that you exhibited. That was my favourite look of yours

You have evolved in a direction that’s not where my tastes lie, but you have done it in a tasteful and considered manner.

Much respect to you.

Ray

[Uncle Al]

Concerning my weight I fear that I may break a heel because I am 280lbs at the moment and 6ft in height.
I have some shoes where the heel part inside my shoes are squashed down and it’s making me think it’s because if my weight.

I've been where you are at. If the shoes are a favorite pair, the 'squashed down' insides
would be from consistent use. I just replace the insoles when mine wear out.
($30.00 for insoles versus $200.00+ for new shoes....) Just over a year ago, I was at 285lbs and 6ft 2 inch.
Now, I am at 218lbs and 6ft 1.5 inch in height. I have shrunk a bit with age

Previously, I have worn a sandal type of shoe, with a 2.5 inch block heel.
Like these:

My difficulty with those shoes was when wearing hose, my feet would slide around in the shoe,
causing me to feel I would lose my balance. I now stay with Oxfords or flats with a low heel.

I had the least amount of back-pain/strain when I wore Western Style Boots, with a riding heel.
Similar to these:
I wore these around the 1978-1982 time frame.

Now, at 73 years of age, I wear SAS shoes.(SAS-San Antonio Shoe) Extremely durable.
Like these:
The last pair I purchased, I've been wearing for 10+ years. The pair before that,
I actually wore the soles down to where the insides of the sole could be seen.

I have noticed a steady 'thought' in your posts, one that I hope you will be able to conquer.
You use the word 'FEAR' quite often.

What is F.E.A.R?
F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. There's no true threat of immediate physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us, actually nothing there at all.
F.E.A.R. is an illusion - something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real. Jun 17, 2020

As a child, did you fear falling down when learning to ride a bicycle
You conquered that fear and learned how to deal with, and control, a bicycle.

Same thing goes with doing, or wearing, something new or different.
Each person "learns to ride a bicycle" at a different pace but, with persistence, they will succeed

Uncle Al

[DrFishnets]

I have noticed a steady 'thought' in your posts, one that I hope you will be able to conquer.
You use the word 'FEAR' quite often.

What is F.E.A.R?
F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. There's no true threat of immediate physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us, actually nothing there at all.
F.E.A.R. is an illusion - something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real. Jun 17, 2020

As a child, did you fear falling down when learning to ride a bicycle
You conquered that fear and learned how to deal with, and control, a bicycle.

Same thing goes with doing, or wearing, something new or different.
Each person "learns to ride a bicycle" at a different pace but, with persistence, they will succeed

I wasn’t aware a lot of my posts were based on fear. I do suffer from an anxiety disorder and have depression but I am getting better and I think the bravery of me starting to wear skirts, dresses and tights in public is helping with my anxiety disorder and helping boost my confidence in life. When I learnt to ride a bike I did indeed have fear of falling off but the more times I did it the better I became and I love cycling and mountain biking. I think a lot of us have that fear when learning to ride a bike. All I need now is the confidence to wear high heels without the fear of breaking the heels.

[Uncle Al]

All I need now is the confidence to wear high heels without the fear of breaking the heels.

I suggest starting with a 2 inch, block style heel.
They offer sturdiness, which one can not get with a narrow heel.

Just my $.02 worth

Uncle Al