What's in a name?

[Damon]

For most of my life I have been used to wearing a kilt for casual as well as formal occasions. My late wife rather liked it, but I knew her well enough to know for certain that a skirt would at the very least meet strong disapproval and likely make her less accepting of a kilt. So, though I envied her summer dresses and skirts I made do with shorts in hot weather.

It was only about 5 years after her passing that I saw the Skirtcraft Unaligned unisex skirt while lurking on this website and after a while screwed up the courage to buy a black one. But only because it was unisex and modelled by men.

It looks perfectly masculine, and my daughter suggested that if worn with long socks and garter flashes 99% of people would assume it was a kilt. It still took some time for me to follow her suggestion and wear it like that to go shopping. This was odd, because I am quite happy to wear the lightweight kilt my wife made for me much as I would wear a pair of shorts. And it's the same for my Sport Kilt Recon Hiking kilt, which is my favorite go to garment, though it looks almost more like a skirt than the Skirt Craft skirt.
The problem is partly in my head. But not solely as born out the first, and last time I did as my daughter suggested and went shopping wearing my black Unaligned skirt with knee high socks and garter flashes.

A man approached me in the supermarket and said "Excuse me but is that a Black Watch Kilt you are wearing?"
I replied that it was simply a plain black kilt, in a modern style with pockets that made it easier to wear than my traditional kilt. He replied that it was good to know that kilts were available in plain colors because he didn't think he was entitled to wear a tartan. And that was that.

I finished my shopping, and then in the car park he approached me again, this time with his wife smiling encouragingly and asked where he could buy a kilt like it.

He had used the word kilt. I had replied using the word kilt. He had obviously discussed it with his wife and she was beaming encouragement for him to get a kilt like mine.

But if course it wasn't a kilt. It was a skirt sold by a company called Skirt Craft.

The word Kilt is used by most people to denote a certain type of garment worn by men. The word Skirt to most people says a garment worn by women. How would he feel if he learned that it was a skirt, not a kilt that he was thinking of getting? How would his wife feel?

What should I say? What would you say?
I took the cowards way out and flat out lied. I said it was a Utilikilt and should be easy to find on the internet.

So Skirt Craft almost certainly lost a sale because of the name. And I have shied away from wearing my skirt in public ever since, in case that happens again.

I believe that if we want men to have the courage to try an unbifurcated garment and their wives to smile upon it, then words matter. I think many men might be willing to wear something like the Skirt Craft skirt if it did not carry the feminine and cross dressing implication of being labeled a Skirt.

I know many people on this site will disagree. They want skirts for men to become mainstream. So do I. But the first step really needs to be to get more men to try something unbifurcated. Using the word Kilt will encourage rather than discourage the tentatively curious.

I have had the experience of being asked where a man could buy a kilt like that while wearing a very masculine looking garment. How many men wearing more feminine looking skirts have been asked by another man where they could get a skirt like it? Not many I would think.

[Faldaguy]

Damon, I suspect your incident(s) of men asking where they can buy the "kilt" you are wearing is also slim. I do not believe I've ever been asked by a man where he could buy a skirt specifically like I might be wearing; but I've certainly had men confirm they like my skirt, style, etc. which has a couple of times led to suggesting thrift stores as a good source for finding lots of options.

You are correct, there apparently is some "comfort" in using the word "kilt" but once you've progressed to asking about where to buy it -- I think you have a man that well past being hung up on the name of an outlet containing that scurrilous word "skirt"!

I have been asked several times if the garment I was wearing is a kilt -- to which my almost automatic reply is; "No, just a a skirt" and that usually opens the door to a bit more conversation.

[Mouse]

In my journey, Skirtcraft skirts were a very useful stepping stone, since they are made for all humans, so you cannot be accused of wearing women's clothes. The kicker, however, is that nobody in the street sees it as a non gendered skirt, they just see skirt. This is useful when you realise this, since it opens the way forward to other skirts.

You have to remember that it is OK and not wrong to wear a skirt, and just own it. You are doing great to be out in a skirt and it is fine to alternate skirts and kilts, since it shows to all that you are the same man in skirt and kilt.

I am sure your interested man was on his own journey and you helped both him and his wife by just being out in public in something other than trousers.

These days I will happily tell anyone where I got whatever I am wearing. I now love talking about me....

I had a thought...In those places where you get thrown in jail for wearing 'women's" clothes, would you be OK wearing a Skirtcraft skirt or even a kilt?

[Barleymower]

I believe that if we want men to have the courage to try an unbifurcated garment and their wives to smile upon it, then words matter. I think many men might be willing to wear something like the Skirt Craft skirt if it did not carry the feminine and cross dressing implication of being labeled a Skirt.

I know many people on this site will disagree. They want skirts for men to become mainstream. So do I. But the first step really needs to be to get more men to try something unbifurcated. Using the word Kilt will encourage rather than discourage the tentatively curious.

I have had the experience of being asked where a man could buy a kilt like that while wearing a very masculine looking garment. How many men wearing more feminine looking skirts have been asked by another man where they could get a skirt like it? Not many I would think.

I don't think calling a skirt a kilt is going to make any real impact. Men of our age are locked into perception of what makes a man. In a lot of respects the world knows this and is running rings around men.

The real hope is for the younger generation to discard old values.

However, call it a kilt if it helps, it might push one or two men who wanted to anyway.

[Coder]

The real hope is for the younger generation to discard old values.

Amen to this sentiment! I truly think the path forward is just ignoring the fashion/style ways of old - they aren't bad / worse - just products of a different time. This is a new era, and we can "forge" a new path.

[Jim]

"What's in a name?" is a good question.

So many arguments are because people don't understand that words don't have just a single definition. Some people use a word to mean one thing and others use the word differently. Instead of saying, "I'm right, and you are blanking wrong" we can listen to what the other means.

Some care to use the word "kilt" to mean most any "masculine" skirt. If that makes them more comfortable, why argue?

[Damon]

I think if the curious man had been alone I would probably have told him about Skirt Craft. But his wife was right there and clearly they had been discussing it. My wife, who passed away ten years ago after almost fifty years together, was quite supportive of me wearing a kilt but I am certain she would have been hostile to a skirt, and any move in that direction on my part would probably have Scotched it for kilts as well. Forgive the pun. There was an incident which supports that idea. We were dressing to go somewhere and as I tightened my sporran strap it broke at the point where the leather met the chain. We tried to make a temporary fix without success.
"You'll have to wear trousers then," she said. I replied that my jacket had pockets and I didn't really need a sporran. "It's the sporran that keeps the kilt from being a skirt," she replied. "Wear trousers."
From the many posts about problems with Significant Others, I think this is fairly common. Women may admire, even like a man in a skirt, as long as he is not their man. The kilt often just manages to slip under that bar.

[Barleymower]

You'll have to wear trousers then

It must be difficult to have lost your wife after so long. My wife and I have been together for 28 years, it would be hard to imagine her not being there. My mum dead in 2020 and my dad is still grieving.

In a world of equality, what we wear is our own business.

[DrFishnets]

I have the same dilemma with dresses. I really like wearing t-shirt mini dresses and they cover my bulge when wearing leggings but if anyone was to ask me if I was wearing a dress I’d more likely say it is a very long t-shirt I’m wearing. I have a black pleated skirt that almost looks like a kilt but if anyone was to ask it would be a kilt. I do own two proper kilts which is Heritage of Scotland tartan and the other Granite Grey tartan which are just generic tartans. I wear those kilts in warm weather.

[Mouse]

It took me a few years to get past kilts and into skirts. If asked now I will tell anyone what I am wearing, be it kilt, skirt or dress. I still go back to a kilt if I am low in confidence or need to show my man card more clearly. On the other hand I am wearing a kilt today, because it is the coolest skirt I have in my work collection, so it purely out of choice today.

[STEVIE]

On the other hand I am wearing a kilt today, because it is the coolest skirt I have in my work collection, so it purely out of choice today.

Temperature or style Mouse?

This thread just shows the power behind pedantry and semantics!
Ye Gods, quit the tearing yourselves up, if it's a skirt or a dress, say the words, the world won't stop revolving.
Steve.

[Mouse]

On the other hand I am wearing a kilt today, because it is the coolest skirt I have in my work collection, so it purely out of choice today.

Temperature or style Mouse?

When I wrote the line I was referring to temperature. However on reflection I think both are true.

[Myopic Bookworm]

On the other hand I am wearing a kilt today, because it is the coolest skirt I have in my work collection, so it purely out of choice today.

Temperature or style Mouse?

When I wrote the line I was referring to temperature. However on reflection I think both are true.

One of my potential replies to enquiries (which I never get) is that in the matter of identity, I identify as cool.