Overly Flamboyant Outfits Detrimental to Mainstreaming MIS?

[LiuBang]

It's already enough of a battle for cis-hetero men to wear a plain, no-frills skirt with an otherwise masculine outfit to work. But at least if you do so, half the people will understand you're simply a cis-hetero guy who likes wearing skirts (even if the other half of the population mistakes you as LGBTQ).

OTOH, wearing a flamboyant skirt with high heels, blouses, or makeup is, IMO, simply going to reinforce stereotypes that MIS are simply cross-dressers, and 99% of people seeing you will think you're a cross-dresser or LGBTQ even if you're not. Especially when you're wearing a skirt outfit so flamboyant that even most women who usually wear skirts would wear them in a far more conservative, toned-down manner.

"But flamboyant or bust!" You might say. "If we simply wear plain skirts, we'll never get to wear flamboyant skirts!" Well honestly since Elvis it's been much more acceptable for cis-hetero guy to wear flamboyant pants than it is for him to wear even a super-plain skirt.

[timemeddler]

It's already enough of a battle for cis-hetero men to wear a plain, no-frills skirt with an otherwise masculine outfit to work. But at least if you do so, half the people will understand you're simply a cis-hetero guy who likes wearing skirts (even if the other half of the population mistakes you as LGBTQ).

OTOH, wearing a flamboyant skirt with high heels, blouses, or makeup is, IMO, simply going to reinforce stereotypes that MIS are simply cross-dressers, and 99% of people seeing you will think you're a cross-dresser or LGBTQ even if you're not. Especially when you're wearing a skirt outfit so flamboyant that even most women who usually wear skirts would wear them in a far more conservative, toned-down manner.

"But flamboyant or bust!" You might say. "If we simply wear plain skirts, we'll never get to wear flamboyant skirts!" Well honestly since Elvis it's been much more acceptable for cis-hetero guy to wear flamboyant pants than it is for him to wear even a super-plain skirt.

as a general rule i think you're on the right track, I for example try to avoid heels and skirts at the same time.

[crfriend]

as a general rule i think you're on the right track, I for example try to avoid heels and skirts at the same time.

The key here is not so much avoidance, but an understanding when one is getting "too far" outside the realm of believability. Once you get outside of that, you're getting into the range of outright drag, which everybody recognises almost instantly.

2" block heels of a modest type and a short skirt are well within reason. Skyscraper/nosebleed heels and a micro-mini are not -- and the difference is not subtle. Style is one place where exaggeration does not work. Know where the line is.

[jamie001]

CR is right on with this response. I only wear 2 to 2.5 inch clock heels or wedge heels with my skirts. They are comfortable and I can wear them all day. INMO stiletto high heels are a bit too much. Also, if you wear sandals, it helps to have a good pedicure with colored nail polish to complete the look.

[Grok]

A few members-SkirtsDad, for example-can make the flamboyant look good. But they have much more of a flair for clothing than I do. To wear a rig that looks good, some one like me would best aim for style. Which, while being more subtle, is something that can be learned.

[Barleymower]

Wear whatever you want.

[DrFishnets]

I try to mix women’s clothes with men’s clothes when I go out. When I dress for the day the women’s clothes are a skirt or dress, thick tights or leggings and sometime a woman’s scarf and beret. The men’s clothes are men’s boots, men’s underwear, men’s waistcoat, tshirt and men’s long trench coat. I only stick to black or dark colours but I’m really wanting to get into experimenting with colours. I’ve recently bought a pair of brown leather boots which would look good with a long purple skirt or dress.

[Dust]

Confidence.

You need to be confident in whatever you wear. Smile, be friendly without over doing it. It has to be genuine. If you are not confident people think you are up to no good.

The crazier the outfit, the more confidence is required to pull it off. Some here have it to the point they can pull off almost anything. If you are new to this, go with what puts you at ease.

I know I'm usually good in a kilt or plain skirt, but if I'm not feeling it, I'll go back to shorts. And I think that's okay.

[Uncle Al]

It's already enough of a battle for cis-hetero men to wear a plain, no-frills skirt with an otherwise masculine outfit to work. But at least if you do so, half the people will understand you're simply a
cis-hetero guy who likes wearing skirts (even if the other half of the population mistakes you as LGBTQ).

WHY must you continue to LABEL a man in a skirt as "cis-hetero"

By your words, you're labeling every member of Skirt Cafe' as "cis-hetero".
It doesn't matter what spectrum you fall on/under, you're still a man wearing a skirt.
Period End of statement Get over it

Mod Hat-ON
WARNING
Be careful with your choice of words or labels.
You may find yourself in a bit of unwanted trouble.
Mod Hat-OFF

Uncle Al

[Faldaguy]

Confidence.

You need to be confident in whatever you wear. Smile, be friendly without over doing it. It has to be genuine. If you are not confident people think you are up to no good.

The crazier the outfit, the more confidence is required to pull it off. Some here have it to the point they can pull off almost anything. If you are new to this, go with what puts you at ease.

I know I'm usually good in a kilt or plain skirt, but if I'm not feeling it, I'll go back to shorts. And I think that's okay.

The man is batting a thousand! The first word of Dust's 1000th. post is the beating heart of MIS. It should be emblazoned upon your closet in 72 pt. bold print.

Al is right -- the labels are not apropos.

If you are a human, you are generally, entitled to dress as you please, and the cloth, nor the shoes, or makeup, make the man anything else.

Perhaps Spock said it most succinctly: "Insults are effective only where emotion is present."

[JohnH]

I don't mix my women's clothing with men's clothing except for my men's white underpants. Otherwise, it's all women's wear. That includes dresses, heels up to 75 mm (3 inches), makeup, and earrings. And I have hair beyond shoulder length and a bust. But nobody calls me a sissy as I sing second bass in my church choir. And I use my real masculine name and speak in my normal voice as a man. I don't believe in pretending to be some woman with a made up feminine name.
I don't put on extreme makeup to look like a drag queen although someone suggested I could be one due to my chest mounds (she called them "tits").

John

[STEVIE]

Wear whatever you want.

Cut to the chase and this is the alpha and the omega.
All the verbiage that is produced here, changes nothing, it is neither beneficial or detrimental to mainstreaming men in skirts.
Simply being out there, going about one's business will and flamboyance in the right appropriate settings is merely one element.
If any one of us is thinking that their actions alone will have a significant effect either way then they are going to be sorely disappointed.
Face it, we just aren't that important.
Steve.

[Myopic Bookworm]

I don't think the mainstream women-in-trousers thing was markedly handicapped by the existence of a few radicals who went the whole way and dressed in men's suits. Did Marlene Dietrich in a tuxedo set back the cause of women's fashion? I think not!

I'm simply too shy to wear anything really flamboyant: the furthest I am currently prepared to go in public is a patterned skirt and a wacky nail varnish.

[Coder]

This post has been bugging me a bit. We want "fashion freedom" but at the same time there are imposed limits even on what we might want to wear (for the record, no, I'm not interested in sky-high heels ). But even women have those limits. If a woman dresses a certain way - flamboyant in a sense - she too will be judged and treated according to societies collective opinion.

It all comes down to your (as the fashion wearer) tolerance for criticism and scorn for pushing those boundaries in flamboyant dress.

As Barleymower put it, "Wear whatever you want." But I would add to that, in any circumstance, be prepared for any fallout.

The key here is not so much avoidance, but an understanding when one is getting "too far" outside the realm of believability. Once you get outside of that, you're getting into the range of outright drag, which everybody recognises almost instantly.

To me, this is where I land too. I'll wear what I want, so long as it's appropriate for the situation and doesn't deviate from the norm. Granted, the norm today are skinny jeans/leggings and not skirts - but skirts still remain a "normal" choice for women, and they should be for men.


To answer the original question - I don't think a flamboyant outfit in isolation is a big deal, especially when that outfit is worn with a GENUINE approach to fashion/style and honesty of the wearer. I think things like drag do not help our cause, they send mixed messages and draw the wrong associations with what I think the goals of this site are. Defining that line - well I think it should be fairly easy to do.

[moonshadow]

Wear whatever you want.

+1