MIS Skews Older?

[STEVIE]

We just have to accept that our motives may be misconstrued and I find that the older I get the less I care.

I had a conversation to this effect with an 86 year old lady who is a ward mate of my wife's who is currently in hospital.
The lady and I concurred on this, she emphasised the point with a middle finger salute.
My wife was not impressed by this show of support for my attitude and choices.
I'd love to be privvy to some of their future gossips.
Steve.

[Barleymower]

Rightly or wrongly the simple answer is I (think I) would be single in a minimum wage job if I did not conform.

Reflecting back to 1981, my last year in school. I would have been sent home if i had gone school in a school skirt to change.

In 1983 when I met my first real girlfriend, would she have danced with me if I had been wearing a skirt? She probably would have danced with me but I would not have got into the disco to ask her. I probably would have been laughed at in pubs and punched on the walk home. Such was life then.

[Spirou003]

To answer the OP, crfriend did cover it nicely with his first answer.
When being young, we need to prove ourself at work, as a citizen (neighbours), when getting the drivers license, to rent your first home, to get a loan, with women, and so on. All this can be made harder if what you look like or "what you are" doesn't please people you're facing, said differently if you're out of the box. So young people may want to avoid being discriminated on the primary basis that they're out of the box, which I can understand (I'm 31). It is much wider than just "wearing or not a skirt", however, and that kind of discrimination will never disappear. A good example of this: when random people in the street ask someone if they know something that could help them, how can they distinguish between "sorry I can't help you" = "I would happily help you if I could" and "sorry I can't help you" = "I don't want to help you"? What makes the asked person to decide they don't want to help, can be whatever you want including the classic discrimination. Similar things can appear at any stage mentioned above ("sorry I made a mistake"... you see )

[DrFishnets]

I dispute that assertion, and the reason why was given above. It's the the ones on the SD Spectrum are using the skirt (and note that I am not using the term "feminine" anywhere in here) for entirely different reasons than straight guys are.

What I meant was that for guys starting out today in a skirt and dress it’s an advantage as the trans and LGBTQ are more accepted now in the public than away back in the 1970s and 1980s.

I know that there are men who like wearing skirts and dresses who are heterosexual like myself that don’t want to be tied in with the LGBTQ stuff from members of the public.

I wear skirts and dresses purely for comfort and I think they look nice and more interesting than guys clothes. However, at the same time I have come to the conclusion that I don’t care what the public think I am heterosexual or trans. I know I am heterosexual and that all that matters and I continue to enjoy wearing skirts and dresses. Most people out the public don’t really care what you wear and others can think what they like.

[Mouse]

I am a child of the sixties. It took me another 50 years for me to feel free enough to begin letting the real Mouse into the public world. And even then small steps over a number of years.

My early life had heavy religious input where being gay was sinful... So saying I liked things women wore....I learnt early on to hide many things inside my own brain where things were safe.

My prescribed route in life was to join the small church/sect my parents belonged to, find a girl who also belonged to the same church, marry, mortgage, work, kids... you get the picture. Trouble was my brain had many questions that vague answers didn't address. So work and mortgage seemed something I could do and that was my position through my twenties. Living on my own allowed dressing in private and odd midnight jaunts.

Women/Girls, you ask? Well two problems there.
1. Do I look for a mate inside the church pool, where I would have to join, but this would then please my parents. Or do I look for a mate outside the church and disappoint my family?
2. I have this scary secret that I like dressing in skirts, lycra etc, along with many solo kinks I was into.

My solution to both of these was typical head in sand and carry on working hard and paying the mortgage. This worked almost all the way through my twenties until someone liked me and I got two Valentine cards.... The future Mrs Mouse was also from a church family of another sect who also hadn't followed her prescribed plan in life. We had a common link through both being disappointments to our families. I told and showed my scary secrets and she didn't run away.

Thirties and forties were taken up with two children, So, it was in my fifties where I began to feel more free to be me. I am now 60 and I went to my first latex party. I wear skirts every day to work and play. So, I believe I have found me at long last and it has taken me 50-60 years to do it.

The question is, if I was starting again in the modern environment, would it have taken so long? Part of me desperately wants to rerun my twenties, but you have to work from where you are. I believe at the moment, I am in the happiest part of my life on this planet. How long it will last before my age catches up with my twenty year old brain I don't know. I do know that I am not waiting, I am planning the next latex outfit, the next set of boots, I have material to make more skirts, etc.

This is my answer to why I am an old MIS

[Uncle Al]

It seems like most on this forum skew older than the median age of males in the Anglosphere. Why?
And why are young men more afraid of wearing skirts than older counterparts are?

To answer this question, you need to look at the length of membership at Skirt Cafe'.

I started back when it was "Tom's Cafe" (circa 1998), a much more difficult to navigate message board.
I "Re-Joined" when the new format came into existence. That was in Oct, 2003.

We all age, we all started skirting when we were much younger. Stop complaining that 'Young Men'
are afraid of wearing skirts. Older skirt wearing men had to start somewhere/sometime, that's how
they became 'Older Counterparts'.

I was in my early 40's when I donned my first kilt. Loved every bit of it.
Today, at age 73, I wear what I want, when I want and where I want.
I'm of Scot's-Irish heritage, with a small mix of European mainland tossed in.
I still(mostly) pinch my pennies but I still spend them to much on new clothes.

Your "question" sounds like you wanted an answer 5 minutes before you asked the question.
Stop asking these kinds of questions, showing your inadequate preparation before showing
the Cafe' your impetuous nature. You'll gain more information, and understanding, when you
start listening to the experiences of others so you don't make the same mistakes/blunders.
Skirt Cafe' archives are full of the same questions you've been asking. Use the 'search' function
to gain more insight into what 'older counterparts' have asked, and gone through in their lives.

So, "Us Older Counterparts" started somewhere and I've been a Kilt, Skirt and Dress
wearer for almost 35 years.

Uncle Al

[crfriend]

It may be a flag regarding gender identity, but is not a flag regarding sexuality. A person can be gender nonconforming and still be straight. I am living proof.

I'm trying to get across how the average straight guy regards the whole SD Spectrum. He doesn't care what part of the "spectrum" is involved, he sees it as a binary. The average person is just that -- average -- as in mediocre. And some of this stuff, for assorted sociological and belief factors is really highly offensive. Until that association is broken (NOT reinforced!) the normal guy in a skirt is going to have a hard time.

[LiuBang]

Indeed, and it's complicating things greatly for the vast majority identifies as "straight", This causes the garment to be incorrectly construed as a flag regarding sexuality where there is actually no reason for it. This, in turn, causes the straight population to turn away from the idea. And that window is closing rapidly. Unless the "straight" majority claim a stake we'll lose the opportunity for at least several generations.

I agree with your premise overall, but I disagree that "the window is closing rapidly." I'm pretty sure 50 years ago a straight man in a skirt would have been just as easily misconstrued as being LGBTQ except back then they would have been called a "f*ggot". I don't think the window was any wider 50 years ago, or 40 years ago, or 20 years ago, or 10 years ago. The window isn't getting any wider, but nor is it getting any narrower, because there never was much to begin with.

[LiuBang]

the odds are that the guy wearing the skirt is straight vastly outweigh the odds of him being on the "Spectrum".

A glimmer of hope? Perhaps most men in skirts...are indeed cishet men, rather than pre-op trans-women? Perhaps my skirt-wearing colleague who used the men's restroom, had a deep voice, muscular build, stubble, zero hormones, zero surgery, but identified as female was an exception, not the rule?

[Grok]

It may be a flag regarding gender identity, but is not a flag regarding sexuality. A person can be gender nonconforming and still be straight. I am living proof.

I'm trying to get across how the average straight guy regards the whole SD Spectrum. He doesn't care what part of the "spectrum" is involved, he sees it as a binary.

Binary, as in "normal" versus "queer."

[phathack]

It may be a flag regarding gender identity, but is not a flag regarding sexuality. A person can be gender nonconforming and still be straight. I am living proof.

This applies to me: Your position will be different.
Technically I am Gender Nonconforming and a Cross Dresser.
Gender Nonconforming is simply I dont Dress, or Act in a Stereotypical male way.
Because I wear Skirts, Dresses, Leggings, Yoga Pants, Bras etc. that makes me a Cross Dresser.
For me they both come down to I wear Womens Clothing and Present as a Man.

[jamie001]

It may be a flag regarding gender identity, but is not a flag regarding sexuality. A person can be gender nonconforming and still be straight. I am living proof.

This applies to me: Your position will be different.
Technically I am Gender Nonconforming and a Cross Dresser.
Gender Nonconforming is simply I dont Dress, or Act in a Stereotypical male way.
Because I wear Skirts, Dresses, Leggings, Yoga Pants, Bras etc. that makes me a Cross Dresser.
For me they both come down to I wear Womens Clothing and Present as a Man.

phathack,

I can really relate to your response, however I take issue with one comment in your post:

If you and I are crossdressers, then so are women that wear men’s clothing and act in an aggressive manner in business and in their social lives as they are trying to emulate men. Society does not see these women as crossdressers. Society simply sees them as women that are attempting to raise their status. This is the root of the problem. I do not believe that a women can crossdress. I have seen women hosting the Oscars wearing a suit and tie or a tuxedo and no comment was made other than “cute outfit”, however when Billie Porter was on stage it is presented as total shock and awe.

As men we have a long way to go to obtain fashion freedom and the future does not look good. That is the reason that I accept the fact that I will be categorized as LGBTQ even though if the situation was reversed and I was a women wearing men’s clothing this stigma would not exist.

[Ozdelights]

Society does not see these women as crossdressers.

I agree and If so then no man deciding to wear a skirt or other attire should be labelled a crosdresser.

Society simply sees them as women that are attempting to raise their status.

I think that's a broad assumption. My partner wear pants for comfort, both physically and mentally. Some may be using it for status.

[Skirt18220]

When I was younger wearing a skirt never entered my mind although I did always want a kilt. Never got one as the cost was astronomical. During covid I suppose like everyone else spent a lot more time on the computer on line. I found Kilts in light weight material out of Pakistan for under 50 dollars. so I bought a couple. Found out I liked the feel of a skirt. Made a trip to the local used clothes retailer and picked up a couple of blue jean skirts for under 10 dollars. I was hooked. I now only wear skirts and kilts. I now have 19 kilts, four what would or might be considered proper and a dozen different skirts.
I will admit I had blue jeans (pants) on the other day while I was crawling around on the ground under my antique sports car doing repairs. For some things a skirt just isn't practical.
That's okay. I like my skirts and kilts but I'm not opposed to wearing pants if there is a need.

[Grok]

That's okay. I like my skirts and kilts but I'm not opposed to wearing pants if there is a need.

Yes, the important thing is having the option of wearing skirts.