The right time is now

[skirtedbrit]

I am in my mid seventies and have been wearing skirts and dresses for about 15 years. I got a skirt and a dress to ease the post op pain from groin surgery and I immediately thought that I had been missing out all of these years and should have been wearing skirts from early childhood.
However, coming from working class in North West England this would have been impossible due to to attitudes of the time. Bullying, violence and downright hatred from all, even my own family, would have been the norm. Even though I am straight I would have been cast as gay which was illegal at the time.
Attitude changes started in the sixties and gradual changes in the law and society have improved over the last 5 or 6 decades so that now I am at ease.
How about you? What if you had started skirt wearing in your childhood or teenage years? Is'nt the right time now? What if society had been as tolerent decades ago? How would your life have been different?

[Spirou003]

I'm in my early thirties, and it would have been unenvisageable to wear a skirt at school. I have been bullied from 11 to 17 years old (I'm from end of the year so I started university at 17) and the only way for me to feel safe at school has been to gather enough people in the same situation than me, into a group of friends. We did become numerous enough to protect ourselve from the bulliers during the break, in the classes the teachers were guaranteeing nothing (too) bad would happen and outside school I was not in contact with anyone. Bullies did continue, but physical threat was gone thanks to the group. I'm definitely sure that if I did wear a skirt at that time, I would not have had anyone joining me.
As for how I would have behaved if society was more tolerant at that time, I don't know. I guess that "it depends" how tolerant and obviously, if I would have been the only skirted one or not. I had less balls than I have now for things like that, but I had more for other things, I guess that's what we call "evolve"

[Myopic Bookworm]

I started wearing skirts about 18 months ago, in my 50s, having been wearing a kilt since my mid 20s. I was very self-conscious about the kilt at first, until I got into Scottish country dancing where it was common. Even then, I was unusual in wearing the kilt to classes as well as to actual dances. Now, of course, I am very self-conscious about the skirts, though less so as the weeks and months pass.

If society had been tolerant, I surely would have experimented with skirts at university, though probably not before my second year as an undergraduate, when I had enough confidence to step out beyond a rather traditional evangelical upbringing with which I had never really been comfortable. Possibly I would also have been sufficiently confident, and sufficiently well-informed, to come out as bisexual a few decades before I did.

On the principle that the right time is now, and to support any movement in what I consider the right direction, I have just bought two skirts for a friend's son who announced that he wanted to wear a skirt for the end of term. He's about 12: an age at which I would have loved to wear skirts and dresses, and would have died on the spot rather than admit it.

[moonshadow]

A couple of years before I started wearing skirts, I was having a conversation with a deli manager at one of the stores on my repair route where I used to work. Though I wasn't wearing skirts or dresses at the time, she allowed that she knew a guy, who was actually a department head in the store who used to be a crossdresser. Granted, I realize that's more than what most of us do here, but nevertheless, when his practice was discovered, he was terminated from his job, despite it having nothing whatsoever to do with his ability to run the department.

This case file dives into several case study laws and precedents regarding not conforming to gender stereotypes.

Since most men, and especially, young men are required to maintain outside employment to provide for himself and build his future, it stands to reason that though there may not have been enforceable "crossdressing" laws for the better part of two score, still yet, with very strict gender stereotype expectations levied across most industries in the United States with regards to how males and men are allowed to express themselves, it has resulted in the stalling of many endeavors to promote gender freedom and equality for men with regards to their gender expression.

Put plainly, if you're a man and you want to put food on the table, you'd better keep that hair short and trim and keep those pants on. That is, until very recently. In fact, I remarked to a few of my colleagues last week about how I was always forbidden to grow my hair out until the SCOTUS decision regarding the Civil Rights act of 1964, where it effectively abolished gender stereotyping in the workplace. In a nutshell, my employer can not require me to cut my hair, lest, they require all women to cut theirs too. They can require me to take care of it and now allow it to become unsightly, as these same expectations would be levied among females as well. As such, the hair is washed daily and brushed several times per day along with keeping it up in a proper pony tail during work.

So legally, there isn't much stopping us from wearing a skirt or expressing other traditionally feminine characteristics. However now law can change certain minds and how these minds adapt to change. I do still often experience negative blow back for my choice in attire. New friends were made, many on this website, however several old friends have gone. It is often difficult to find sanctuary in any tribe or community. Our choice in dress is highly unusual, even in our socially progressive world we live in, yet most of us do not identify on the trans* or nonbinary spectrum, and even for those of us who do *points at self*, often times we can still face shunning and other hostilities in the "T.Q." part of the acronym. Even if the LGBTQ community would accept us (and many would, despite our resistance to the labels), many of us *again, points at self* live so far out and away from this community that it is basically relegated to online interactions only. Are there trans and nonbinary people in Russell County Virginia? Probably. But I wouldn't know for sure, as after six years of living here, nobody has ever approached me and wanted to strike up a conversation or networking endeavor.

Being different can be a lonely walk, and sometimes, at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves and our own thoughts to try and solve the puzzle.

But yes, the time is NOW. The pendulum of freedom is swinging backward, rights that we have taken for granted for generations are retarding. We are definitely in a "one step back" phase right now, and many of us won't live long enough for the next "two steps forward".

[bikesaurus]

If not now, when? I'm only 37, so I haven't seen everything, but in my experience, acceptance of gender non-conformity is at an all time high. The laws in certain states trying to force a certain view of gender expression I think are a result of that acceptance. A last ditch effort to force people back into the norms they have persisted in society for most of the last century.

[rode_kater]

The paraphrase a well known proverb: the best time to start wearing wearing a skirt was 10 years ago. The next best time is now.

[bikesaurus]

The paraphrase a well known proverb: the best time to start wearing wearing a skirt was 10 years ago. The next best time is now.

That proverb works for planting trees and wearing skirts

[Layne]

A couple of years before I started wearing skirts, I was having a conversation with a deli manager at one of the stores on my repair route where I used to work. Though I wasn't wearing skirts or dresses at the time, she allowed that she knew a guy, who was actually a department head in the store who used to be a crossdresser. Granted, I realize that's more than what most of us do here, but nevertheless, when his practice was discovered, he was terminated from his job, despite it having nothing whatsoever to do with his ability to run the department.

This case file dives into several case study laws and precedents regarding not conforming to gender stereotypes.

Since most men, and especially, young men are required to maintain outside employment to provide for himself and build his future, it stands to reason that though there may not have been enforceable "crossdressing" laws for the better part of two score, still yet, with very strict gender stereotype expectations levied across most industries in the United States with regards to how males and men are allowed to express themselves, it has resulted in the stalling of many endeavors to promote gender freedom and equality for men with regards to their gender expression.

Put plainly, if you're a man and you want to put food on the table, you'd better keep that hair short and trim and keep those pants on. That is, until very recently. In fact, I remarked to a few of my colleagues last week about how I was always forbidden to grow my hair out until the SCOTUS decision regarding the Civil Rights act of 1964, where it effectively abolished gender stereotyping in the workplace. In a nutshell, my employer can not require me to cut my hair, lest, they require all women to cut theirs too. They can require me to take care of it and now allow it to become unsightly, as these same expectations would be levied among females as well. As such, the hair is washed daily and brushed several times per day along with keeping it up in a proper pony tail during work.

So legally, there isn't much stopping us from wearing a skirt or expressing other traditionally feminine characteristics. However now law can change certain minds and how these minds adapt to change. I do still often experience negative blow back for my choice in attire. New friends were made, many on this website, however several old friends have gone. It is often difficult to find sanctuary in any tribe or community. Our choice in dress is highly unusual, even in our socially progressive world we live in, yet most of us do not identify on the trans* or nonbinary spectrum, and even for those of us who do *points at self*, often times we can still face shunning and other hostilities in the "T.Q." part of the acronym. Even if the LGBTQ community would accept us (and many would, despite our resistance to the labels), many of us *again, points at self* live so far out and away from this community that it is basically relegated to online interactions only. Are there trans and nonbinary people in Russell County Virginia? Probably. But I wouldn't know for sure, as after six years of living here, nobody has ever approached me and wanted to strike up a conversation or networking endeavor.

Being different can be a lonely walk, and sometimes, at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves and our own thoughts to try and solve the puzzle.

But yes, the time is NOW. The pendulum of freedom is swinging backward, rights that we have taken for granted for generations are retarding. We are definitely in a "one step back" phase right now, and many of us won't live long enough for the next "two steps forward".

I’m here and have been for sometime, so I do offer some support for your position/opinion - BUT………

Why should a private business owner not have complete say in who or what he wants to represent his “brand”?

If a private business owner wants (for example) only short haired males in trousers to represent his brand - why is that not acceptable?

Why is your (our) right to dress as we choose any more important than his right to present his business how he (or she) sees fit?

[crfriend]

Why should a private business owner not have complete say in who or what he wants to represent his “brand”?

If a private business owner wants (for example) only short haired males in trousers to represent his brand - why is that not acceptable?

Why is your (our) right to dress as we choose any more important than his right to present his business how he (or she) sees fit?

I'm in agreement with this in that it's the decision of the business owner, not the employee. Only a completely insensitive (and selfish) individual would object to that. So long as it's laid out before the term of employment begins, and everybody understands the ground rules then it'll be OK.

Now, if there's a sea change in the middle of things (say following a buyout) and the ground rules change, then the employee has a valid gripe -- but not before.

[Layne]

Why even then? We very much seem to confuse rights and privileges?

[GoSkirtGo]

Would you side with a business who only wants whites representing their brand? Or, using characteristics that are ostensibly within the control of the employee (analogous to feminine-presenting men), only Christians? If not, then you're creating your own double standard.

ETA: After using religion as an example, I thought I'd clarify that we'd be talking about a secular business (and not for example a church).

ETA2: I thought of a better analogy than religion of something one could ostensibly change but represents a fundamental part of one's identity: An employer who does not want to hire an employee who prefers to speak a non-English language (e.g. at home, on breaks, etc.) (but does have any necessary English skills for the job).

ETA3: Religion was also used as an analogy to argue that Title VII protects transgender people - what if an employer discriminated against someone because they had converted from the religion of their parents? (Race was used in arguing sexual orientation - c.f. an employee who discriminated against an employee in an interracial marriage.)

[Modoc]

Why even then? We very much seem to confuse rights and privileges.

We very much do and probably always will because the definitions of the two are always subject to interpretation.
Make heads or tails of this if you dare:
https://www.encyclopedia.com/politics/e ... istinction
Not that there aren't differences spelled out by law, but people make those laws and are subject to interpretation and opinion.

[Modoc]

Not that there aren't differences spelled out by law, but people make those laws and are subject to interpretation and opinion.

Forgive my lack of proofreading before posting .
That should say. .....but people make those laws and they are subject to interpretation; the laws not the people.

[moonshadow]

Carl, Layne,

Shall we revert to those times? They weren't too far in history, not only could a man not express himself freely, but in many cases he couldn't even be a customer!

I guess there's nothing wrong with that. Of course, you never heard of a guy in a skirt for obvious reasons. Unless he wants to starve, he'd better comply.

It's easy to play the devils advocate when we all know there isn't a realistic chance of that devil taking away a privilege you enjoy.

A final parting thought. If a woman is free to choose how she expresses herself, why should I be denied on account of how God made me? Why should the natural construction of my body cause me to be subject to such prejudice?

Alas, we discover why capitalism grants us these privileges, for mankind's lust for money always outweighs his prejudice and bigotry.

Thank God for greed.

[Layne]

I’m reading this (and posting) from a Hooters restaurant; every employee on the floor is wearing the exact same outfit - they can certainly elect not to wear that, and work elsewhere?