Little boy in skirt, not so nice opinion

[moonshadow]

So there's a little bit of "good story", followed by some "bad opinions".

Sitting at my homestore today, doing my timesheet, and as I was sitting there I overheard an interesting conversation. I couldn't hear the whole thing, but I heard enough to get the points...

A young lady (low 20's) and an older man were sitting at the table, both worked at the store.

Young lady: "so yeah, like I saw this little boy the other day wearing a skirt, and yeah, I was.. [indistinct chatter]"

Older man: Oh really? Do you think he might have been one of those Scottish type? You know, the ones that wear those.... what are they... kilts?"

Young lady: "I don't think so, I think it was a regular skirt [indistinct chatter followed by mild laughing on both sides, then more indistinct chatter] ...I think it's disgusting."

After that the man chuckled in agreement, and the subject changed.

So it was good to hear of a little boy wearing a skirt, which implies that a) the little boy wanted to wear a skirt, and b) his parents let him.

However the downer is the young lady's very narrow minded, if not outright bigoted opinion of the boy in question. I thought it rather mean to imply that a young child is "disgusting" just for wearing a skirt. Although in all fairness, I couldn't make out the exact wording that led to the remark, but I'm reasonably sure she was referring to the child.

I can go with sissified, queer, strange, girly, wrong, immoral, "not right", silly, stupid, dumb, even ugly.... but to say that someone is "disgusting", regardless of whether it's a boy, man, girl, or woman.... just seems very mean spirited.

Some people....

I held my tongue. However she has given rise a new reason for me to wear skirts.... for that little boy, and all the other little boys like him. I'd have loved to met him, and his parents.

Stay strong and beware of disgusting souls.

[Disaffected.citizen]

I wonder if, somewhere in the "indistinct chatter" there was a shift in the conversation. You may have to rely upon the tone of the initial discussion:

Young lady: "so yeah, like I saw this little boy the other day wearing a skirt, and yeah, I was.. [indistinct chatter]"

Older man: Oh really? Do you think he might have been one of those Scottish type? You know, the ones that wear those.... what are they... kilts?"

Young lady: "I don't think so, I think it was a regular skirt [indistinct chatter followed by mild laughing on both sides, then more indistinct chatter] ...I think it's disgusting."

After that the man chuckled in agreement, and the subject changed.

I cannot say what happened, not being there, and yield to your description, but the words you used convey some positivity at the outset. The "disgusting" comes after the "indistinct chatter" and I wonder if they were referring to somebody else's reaction to the situation. Maybe they were of similar mind to you/us that it's great but someone else was rude and critical, which they found disgusting? Then again, maybe I'm completely missing something (often the case) and they were just narrow minded bigots. Somewhere in there you are completely right about someone, though. I don't know, but thanks for sharing the story.

[Kilty]

I would have stormed over there as quick as my tight skirt and heels would have allowed me, put my hands on my hips, and glared at the b*tch and said loudly : "what was that you were saying about my son?" and watch her stammer and try and back pedal

Then as you say, some are "disgusting", bigoted and not worth the time of day

[moonshadow]

A big part of the reason for holding my tongue kilty was as D.A. pointed out, I didn't know what was in the indistinct chatter. I could have easily been: "some people were laughing at the kid, and I think that's disgusting..." which while I feel was unlikely given the tone her her voice, still I would have made a fool of myself not having all of the facts.

The other issue is her right to an opinion. While I may not agree with it, if I begin to attempt to silence her, then I'm no better than the oppressors that attempt to silence us. However had I known the whole statement she made, and it was that her view of men in skirts is indeed "disgusting" I would have probably approached her, and said something like:

"I couldn't help but overhear you find men in skirts disgusting. I wear skirts when I can, does that make me disgusting?"

Put her on the spot, and see where it goes from there. Chances are, she would begin back pedaling. However if she held her ground (which I would at least respect) I would have probably followed with something like:

"Well, you have a right to your opinion, however that said, I'm not going to stop being disgusting in your eye just for the likes of you." I would glance down at the trousers she is wearing and continue,
"I see you're wearing pants, I suppose if I were as bigoted as you seem to be I could find that equally disgusting, and yet it's not your pants I find disgusting, it's your blatant defense of this double standard, and your shortsightedness that I find disgusting. I thank the stars above that the world doesn't have to live by your tyrannical standards, and I might suggest that when you have a chance, you attempt to pry open that closed little mind of yours and let some light in. Good day."

Just as she has a right to her opinion in public places, I have a right to defend mine equally.

[Charlie]

Perhaps instead of going over and saying something to them (with the possibility of verbal abuse) it would send an equally powerful message just to walk past them wearing a skirt - making darn sure they saw you.
Charlie

[dillon]

A big part of the reason for holding my tongue kilty was as D.A. pointed out, I didn't know what was in the indistinct chatter. I could have easily been: "some people were laughing at the kid, and I think that's disgusting..." which while I feel was unlikely given the tone her her voice, still I would have made a fool of myself not having all of the facts.

The other issue is her right to an opinion. While I may not agree with it, if I begin to attempt to silence her, then I'm no better than the oppressors that attempt to silence us. However had I known the whole statement she made, and it was that her view of men in skirts is indeed "disgusting" I would have probably approached her, and said something like:

"I couldn't help but overhear you find men in skirts disgusting. I wear skirts when I can, does that make me disgusting?"

Put her on the spot, and see where it goes from there. Chances are, she would begin back pedaling. However if she held her ground (which I would at least respect) I would have probably followed with something like:

"Well, you have a right to your opinion, however that said, I'm not going to stop being disgusting in your eye just for the likes of you." I would glance down at the trousers she is wearing and continue,
"I see you're wearing pants, I suppose if I were as bigoted as you seem to be I could find that equally disgusting, and yet it's not your pants I find disgusting, it's your blatant defense of this double standard, and your shortsightedness that I find disgusting. I thank the stars above that the world doesn't have to live by your tyrannical standards, and I might suggest that when you have a chance, you attempt to pry open that closed little mind of yours and let some light in. Good day."

Just as she has a right to her opinion in public places, I have a right to defend mine equally.

I have to agree fully with you, Moon. We can't expect full agreement or even rational benefit of doubt from others, but we must acknowledge the validity of others feelings and opinions. If we don't, we cannot ask the same of them.

One thing that bothers me about today's young people is their haste to silence any voice they disagree with, by use of pressure to obtain an executive action. It is far better to resolutely explain and clarify your position in a way that challenges others to think while letting them understand the importance of it. Sometimes it's futile, but you retain your self-respect and dignity, by being concise, honest and clear.

[JeffB1959]

This is just my viewpoint, but I wouldn't waste my time confronting people about what others wear. Those people have their minds firmly set in concrete and pretty much nothing will change them, so why bother when it would result in a possibly unpleasant confrontation with people who's innate stubbornness would only further cement their opinion and lead to anger when that opinion is challenged. Who needs that nonsense? We're not going to change the minds of everyone that there's nothing twisted or perverted about men (and boys) who wear skirts, but trying to force that belief onto others makes us no better than those who believe that isn't the case.

[denimini]

We say it by our actions, any words diminish that, unless prompted by a sincere question.

It is always nice to hear of a boy wearing a skirt - no surprise to hear people being critical of that, if that was the case.
People talking amongst themselves is their business and doesn't really matter. If they said something nasty to the little boy, then it would be appropriate to verbal them.

[moonshadow]

Good advice about just leaving it be. It's just very hard to remain silent when prejudice lurks in the room.

We could say something, but light travels faster than sound. So let the prejudice SEE us in our skirts, not HEAR debate, which as you said Jeff, is most likely a waste of time anyway.

Another saying is "actions speak LOUDER than words".

I suppose a lot of what I posted "I might have said" on this thread is just me venting. Because the actual fact of the matter is, while I was tuned in... my mouth remained closed.

[Disaffected.citizen]

..........
People talking amongst themselves is their business and doesn't really matter............

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!" Oscar Wilde (sorry if I've mis-quoted)

[Caultron]

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!" Oscar Wilde (sorry if I've mis-quoted)

Yes, be notorious. Break the mold. Defy convention. Be odd. Be yourself. Have fun with it.

[JeffB1959]

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!" Oscar Wilde (sorry if I've mis-quoted)

Yes, be notorious. Break the mold. Defy convention. Be odd. Be yourself. Have fun with it.

Sounds like a plan to me! I like it!

[Fred in Skirts]

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!" Oscar Wilde (sorry if I've mis-quoted)

Yes, be notorious. Break the mold. Defy convention. Be odd. Be yourself. Have fun with it.

I do not worry about being talked about. I have been the subject of many conversations and not all good. The haters are always going to talk about someone and if its me they are letting someone else rest. I have always marched to the tune of a different piper.

Fred