Domestic abuse

[Gordon]

Yes it does happen once in a while.

[dillon]

If we constrain the definition of "domestic abuse" to incidences where physical violence is personally visited on the victim then I tend to agree with Dillon's and the DOJ's numbers. Conspicuously missing from the numbers, however, are incidences where the violence was done by proxy (as was in my case) or where the abuse is psychological in nature (which, in retrospect, I received a lot of, sometimes seemingly in simple gratuitous woundings). Also missing, are unreported incidents (obviously), and I'd posit that men are a lot less likely to report such things than women -- we feel more shame because of it. So, yes, murders of men by women show up (they'd pretty much have to), although proxy-killings may not be linked back correctly, but a long poisonous relationship (which can get that way slowly over time and nobody notices it happening) won't unless it explodes.

So, much is down to the source of the numbers, and whether those producing the numbers have some sort of objective in using them. Meaning nothing personal here, I am reminded of the old adage that, "Figures don't lie, but liars figure."

It's true that when a third party is involved the data may be more complicated. However, this was a survey, and not based only on reported violence. It included reported and unreported violence, and they did use statistical methods to try and estimate unacknowledged family violence. How correct those may be is naturally questionable.