That was easier than expected... :)

[Barefoot Joe]

Just a few weeks before, when the first thoughts about how it would be wearing a skirt came to my mind, I had serious doubts about it. I already came out twice in the last four years with being barefoot and wearing nailpolish, so I know how it feels and what's the best way for me to do it. But those things are to some degree already common for men - yes, even nailpolish, which is worn by male celebrities from time to time. But skirts? If I would be asked what best defines a woman, "a skirt" would be my answer. What would wearing a skirt mean for me? And even more important: for her? Just imagine nailpolish of hands and feet and a skirt in between. How far am I into crossdressing with it? Wouldn't she think this is just a beginning? And yes, she did when I first came around the corner wearing a sarong. As any wife would. We had some late night coffee talk about it and I did my best to make a clear statement that it's just for fun, experience and to bend "evil gender rules". I made it perfectly clear, that there's nothing sexual involved and that it has nothing to do with me wanting to become or pass as a woman.

Looking back everything went surprisingly smoother than expected. Sure, it was a minor shock for her seeing me in a sarong for the first time and she definitely needed some time to wrap her mind around it. I expected quite some days of quarreling as she always needs ages to ease off. But the very next day she already was back to normal. I went back to trousers for a day then changed to the sarong more and more. Over the last weeks she got used to the look and didn't even object when I was outside the house with it (we have lots of neigbours around us). I bought a few more sarongs and started wearing them for my shopping trips (the ones without her). Since she was still fine with that, I made the next big step today. The sarong might be uncommon here but it's still a male garment around the world. For some time I already owned a "real" skirt, a woman's skirt I bought online. The one from my avatar picture which I choose because it's low-key, waist-adjusteable and has pockets. ( http://www.amazon.de/Frapp-1502607-Dame ... B00N79HSAQ ). Today I took all my courage, put it on and went down in it for breakfast. She was a little uneasy about it being a "real womans skirt", but accepted it after a few minutes. And there's even more: She didn't object to me wearing it for our weekend shopping (which involves three big stores with lots of publicity!) No sign of rejection, everything was just as normal as in trousers. We spent a great time shopping together and naturally she noticed some second looks, but she also found that it's really not a big deal having a skirted husband at her side.

Overall I really have to be deeply grateful for her making things so easy for me. I would have never thought of going from zero to full-family-accepted skirt wearer in just a few weeks.
Of course, this won't be the end of the story. I still have a mini skirt and a kilt to introduce some day and I already told her about the skirtcraft campaign and that I'm supporting it.

Isn't life an amazing sea of endless possibilities?

[Caultron]

Bravo, sounds like you've arrived!

[Sinned]

Barefoot Joe, I'm envious of the acceptance shown by YOH. I just wish that I could get such from mine, more resignation than acceptance although I have been pushing skirtedness for nearly 3 years now. Good luck and keep on truckin'. But I don't know why you would define a woman and skirts in the same set! I work in a national store selling household goods frequented by loads of women and the majority that I see wear jeans or black trousers. Out of the hundreds each day I normally see less than 20 wearing skirts and fewer wearing dresses. Of course now that the weather is warmer that number has increased slightly and so has the number of dresses but the majority are still in jeans or trousers. There is a previous thread somewhere where I quote numbers from my informal survey. Women just aren't wearing skirts that often any more to the extent that a skirt could no longer be classed as a woman's garment ( if you go by popularity or usage anyway ).

[STEVIE]

Well done BJ and you are well on your way now.
Steve.

[dillon]

Very good, Joe. Keep your line of communication open, as it may hit an awkward point where neither of you are discussing your feelings about it. I think that often in our spouses, they not only don't understand why we are driven to be uniquely dressed, but also that we may lack the full ability to articulate our own motivation. My advice is to just make it clear that you love her and are grateful for her open-minded attitude. When we make deep-seated changes the fears our spouses have are often that they are losing their life partner. So reassurance is vital. Others will resist your changes, thinking they can enforce an order that will preserve your shared life in the form that she always believed was correct. If our spouses are at least tolerant, even if not encouraging, you can make things work.

[Barefoot Joe]

Barefoot Joe, I'm envious of the acceptance shown by YOH.

I think my history of being different paved the way for her acceptance. We both went through the whole "what will other people think?" twice for being barefoot and wearing nailpolish and each time we learned that scarcely anybody does react and that the positive reactions are hugely outnumbering the negative ones. Additionally we got some very positive reactions from her closest friends and I think those were key moments for her, showing that an unconventional husband even is something you can be proud of. And above all it's keeping our relationship fresh and interesting. There's nothing worse than a relationship where everything is said and done and even the slightest changes are suppressed because they are seen as a danger to the relationship.

I just wish that I could get such from mine, more resignation than acceptance although I have been pushing skirtedness for nearly 3 years now.

Maybe she just needs some more time? What are her fears with it?

But I don't know why you would define a woman and skirts in the same set!

Oh, that's just the usual imprint. From early childhood on I learned that skirts are only worn by woman and I've always seen only woman wearing them. Add to this the erotic component of woman in skirts and you'll get a pretty strong connotation...

Women just aren't wearing skirts that often any more to the extent that a skirt could no longer be classed as a woman's garment ( if you go by popularity or usage anyway ).

You're absolutely right, I see the same every day commuting to work on the train and at the stations. Most woman unfortunately are abandoning skirts and dresses in favor of trousers these days but I don't think that makes a skirt a man's garment automatically. It might become one if more men would be wearing skirts in public, but since I've never seen one in public for 50 years now (except a few kilted men), I'm afraid we're still far from it.

[Barefoot Joe]

dillon, my wife and I are far from being good in spoken communiction. But after 30+ years we know each other to an extent where we can also hear the unspoken. And of course to some small degree we also learned to speak about our feelings. In our earlier days this lack of good communication was in fact a major problem and it always took us ages to find out the real causes of our quarrelings. It's a miracle that we got over that phase without separation and divorce.

My advice is to just make it clear that you love her and are grateful for her open-minded attitude.

That's a really good advice. Thanks!
I already told her some of the stories of other woman's reactions to their skirted men and how grateful I am to her for not murdering my skirts.

[DonaldG]

Great to hear of your positive actions BJ, and of your wife's good response. My wife had some reservations at first, but now regards it as normal when I go out wearing a skirt. I think part of this is because I 'just do it ' regardless of the consequences, and then there aren't any!
Be bold, positive and confident, and Just Do It.

[skirtingtoday]

Excellent news BJ!! It's great to hear of supporting wives who accept who you are and not try and change you in any way!

And YES, it is a lot easier that expected going out skirted - sometimes I almost forget when I am out wearing one as I do have to change in the car before I get home. I just wish I had such acceptance from MOH as you have in yours.

I have a problem with my wife (similar to others here) in that there is NO acceptance of her man in a skirt - evn thouugh she is all for equality in many things including thinks like gay marriage.

At the moment I still wear skirts including minis (and enjoy it!) but not with her at all. We just don't talk about it all as though to her, it isn't happening.

She does accept kilts, but only on (very) special occasions and sarongs but only on the beach - not even walking back from the beach. I have a beige UK which she took one look at mne wearing it and said, "NO!" I also have a black UK which I haven't told her about, and is fine with all others that I have met, but I believe she will just say "NO" again.

[hairy]

I must be one of the lucky ones in that my wife is OK about skirts, (we brought me another one today) but getting to go out in public places was just a little harder. I do tend to pick and choose where I go but when it really comes down to it I'm not too bothered now, its more just a matter of hoping for warm weather to be bare legged. Your coping OK BJ.

[crfriend]

Back when I had a wife, she was entirely supportive of my skirt-wearing -- mainly because it awakened an actual sense of style in me instead of me simply using clothes as a baseline tool to simply cover my innate nakedness. Those who have wives and significant others who are supportive are truly lucky, as it seems that those are in the minority; those closest to one are always the toughest nuts to crack.

Funnily enough, yesterday I was asked by an employee at a local supermarket I was in whether my wife supported my skirt-wearing (I had on a red velvet-and-velour panelled skirt) and I mentioned that "When I had a wife, she was very supportive." I believe the young woman took it that I was a widower (which I'm not; the relationship simply blew apart after 26 years).

[TheSkirtedMan]

I must be one of the lucky ones in that my wife is OK about skirts, (we brought me another one today)

Likewise. MOH has always been accepting and even suggested I wore skirts at home back in 1998. She became concerned when I went public in 2011 due to anticipated backlash but that didn't happen. MOH strongly believes in this day and age and with womens drive for freedom and individuality men should have the same. She supports me in all aspects of skirt wearing and other society labelled female clothing and has never had any concerns about me as a person or our relationship. I am still a man, her man just prefer womens attire with regards clothing. It's as she says, it is no different to women now in male style clothing. I don't wear mini's, heels or nail polish. I don't have long hair, in fact a bald patch on the top and don't hide it at all even with a wig. It's all irrelevant. We have seen men in such and it's each to their own. Who is so perfect and has the authority in the world to be able to criticise one yet accept others!

In the mean time just keep gently talking and suggesting. You seem to be doing OK BJ and Hairy is like myself as too a few others on this site.

[skirted_in_SF]

I don't have long hair, in fact a bald patch on the top and don't hide it at all even with a wig.

When I had hair, it wasn't long. Now my bald patch covers 60% or more of my head and I don't cover it in a wig either. I do cover it with a hat because a sunburned scalp is truly painful.