Having problem to get out in public

[hairy]

I've been determined that this summer I would wear my skirts out and about, and today was going to be the day. Its been a warm day and Me and wife were going to a quiet garden center, I was in car with black T shirt and suitable black cotton skirt. There should have been no problems and wife was fine about it and told me to just do what suited me. We pulled into the car park and yes at last minute on went my jeans.
Most would say there''s something wrong with bloke in a skirt but I think there's something wrong with me for not being able to step out in one when I want to. It was a safe place to do so, so why couldn't I do it? Do any of you have any tips for getting over that stage?

[Kilted_John]

Leave the trousers at home next time. That's the only way you can do it. It has taken 13 years, but I'm now to the point where trousers are only worn when I do auto repairs. I might also wear them if I'm dealing with a new computer repair client. Subsequent visits frequently are done in a utilikilt...

-J

[partlyscot]

Can you state what is the fear? Ridicule? Attack, verbal or physical? Having someone you know see you? Getting back to work? I won't say it's easy, at first, I went out early to the local corner store to get milk the first time, saw some dog walkers. A bigger step was when I went on a 6 day trip to the West coast, and found it very comfortable, ( physically and emotionally, ) to walk around in a skirt. That helped a lot. Still took a fair while to have the nerve to put one on at work and face co-workers and customers. When I did though, yes, I got the impression that some were a bit startled, or confused, and even some disapproval maybe. In the end, as long as it doesn't negatively impact you, ( example, the boss thinks you are a weirdo and decides to dump you ) then it doesn't matter. It still feels strange, at every new step, new groups of people, but I've had no problems at all, and I do feel that many of the ladies react very positively to me.

You have the *BIGGEST* thing covered, having your partner on board, that was huge for me.

[STEVIE]

Hairy,
For a start, do not feel bad about this, you chose to wear trousers on that occasion, so what?
That only means that you weren't quite ready, it's not wrong.
I remember that my first time lasted less than 5 minutes before I ran back to the safety of the car.
That was a little more than three years ago, now I spend a lot more time skirted than trousered.
The best advice I can give is time and to give time to yourself. I'd agree that having the support of your partner is a wonderful thing but you must also feel ready for yourself. I'd disagree slightly with J, keep the trousers on hand as an option, do not give yourself more stress.
Also, try to remember that most people are so busy with their own lives that they really don't care what you are wearing.
Take the steps gradually, find a place where you are comfortable and then go to other places.
In time you will be able to not care and go just about anywhere, really enjoying it too.
I hope this helps a little.
Steve.

[JohnH]

I walk the dog quite frequently in a local park wearing knee length denim skirts. Nobody, I mean nobody cares at all that I wear skirts. If I hear anything at all it is "What a beautiful dog you have" or "Nice dog". My dog is half German Shepherd and half Great Pyrenees and she is a handful since she chases after squirrels and other dogs.

John

[Caultron]

Just do it.

Then after the first minute, call that a success and go for two.

And so on.

Your only enemy is yourself.

[hairy]

partlyscot, I don't know what my fear is, there was no worry of attack or anything along those lines. I don't understand really because normally I don't care what other people may say or think about me. I wear my skirts about the house all the time and while doing the garden too. My daughter now knows and has seen me skirted, I've been out under cover of darkness and feel so free in a skirt. The garden center had a number of older people walking about but it was totally safe. I can only think I didn't want people looking at me, but I'm a biker and used to standing out in a crowd. I'll try again on next hot day.

[johnb]

I think some good points have been made here, and from my own experience I can understand why you might have decided not to go through with it. One big plus point you have is that your wife is on side, mine has been out with me when I've been in a utility kilt a couple of times, but she isn't really keen on being with me when I'm in it.

The main thing I learned when wearing a kilt or skirt in public is to be confidant, and don't act as though you are guilty of something. That was the advice I' picked up from this forum, and its certainly true. I'm sure that it will work out right for you sooner or later, and from then on it will probably get easier each time.

John

[Orca]

Also get some confidence in going out with your wife. A man alone in a skirt can be more easily ridiculed than a man walking around with a woman. Somehow people perceive a skirted man in a group different than a skirted man alone. If the group (2 or more people) show consent in your skirt wearing then what comments can you make as a bystander? If you mock someone who's part of a group, you can get the whole group against you. Most people do not want to risk that.

you can try to get more confidence from these thoughts:
* It's not illegal
* your private parts are covered
* skirts are only out of fashion for men. (how many others do you see that don't follow fashion? quite a lot I guess!)

And of course a smile is the best accessory for wearing skirts.

[RichardA]

Just a quicky have you thought of a kilt

[hairy]

I won't be out alone without the wife because she drives the car I only ever use motorbikes when I'm alone, hence the riding around countryside last summer in a skirt where no one would see me.
I only want to go public when I'm sure that I will look confident about it, maybe I was not sure yesterday.
Richard, I got a kilt a few weeks ago and posted here about that when I had to send it back because of size. I found it would have been far too hot to wear in summer and on me it was too long. I do intent getting another one at some point for winter use only.
I think part of my problem could be not wanting my legs on show. I know that I don't even want to be seen out in a pair of shorts, this is probably because my legs are very smooth and slim, to me they look feminine which is odd because the of me is hairy including full bikers beard. I've always had problem with people seeing my legs. I don't like covering them with long socks etc as that defeats the object of comfort. I also only like skirts on the short side, so it does seem to be my leg problem.
On another subject I feel that any young blokes wanting to wear a skirt should start doing so ASAP rather than wait and miss out on so much. I've been wearing them in private many years, and now in my late 50s I feel I've left it too long.

[crfriend]

I only want to go public when I'm sure that I will look confident about it, maybe I was not sure yesterday.

That happens occasionally to all of us -- I know that it certainly does with me from time to time, and when that happens I default back to trousers. These is no shame in that. Recall that if you're not feeling confident that will be part of the image you project; folks will pick up on it.

Take Orca's points a couple of posts back; me makes good ones.

I think part of my problem could be not wanting my legs on show. I know that I don't even want to be seen out in a pair of shorts, this is probably because my legs are very smooth and slim, to me they look feminine which is odd because the of me is hairy including full bikers beard.

Your "bikers beard" will more than offset your slender legs. Trust me on that one; I speak from experience. Beards offset many things. They might not counter a pink tutu, but they definitely offset regular skirts.

One of the things that tends to depress me is the number of people who either hate or are ashamed of their body-type; this, whether we like it or not, is part of who we are, and we'd be healthier mentally if we just accepted -- or, better yet embraced -- it. I'm a bit horse-faced, and I'm starting to lose the hair on the top of my head, but all in all I'm quite happy with my body-type. If I wasn't happy with it, I'd be miserable in many more ways as well.

On another subject I feel that any young blokes wanting to wear a skirt should start doing so ASAP rather than wait and miss out on so much. I've been wearing them in private many years, and now in my late 50s I feel I've left it too long.

I advocate for that as well. Youngsters should absolutely give it a go, but usually our younger brethren have more pressing matters to attend to. What's that old crack about "youth being wasted on the young"?

[partlyscot]

Some interesting comments there, I am in somewhat the same boat as most of you, but my feelings about it are different. I too, wish I had done so many things when younger, but being older does give one a sort of authority. My legs are, not slim, I would say, but certainly not chunky. They are, smooth, mostly because I work at that. You could call them feminine, but I don't. When the GF and I are out both wearing shorts, we both have very definitely muscular, but also visibly different legs, her hip to waist ratio is extremely marked, and she carries more subcutaneous fat so less definition. ( this is actually an annoyance to her, as I have better muscular definition, so it looks like I work out harder than her, not so ) On my own, the smooth legs in shorts or skirt, does look slightly femme, to most people, but I don't think it should, and is one of the reasons I like to wear skirts. Compared to how most guys dress, particularly the younger set, I show off more leg. It's deliberate. The fashion, at least around here, is shorts that drop below the knee, I call it the climber look, in other areas, it's more the gangsta, or thug look, and is achieved by low slung shorts. This is all about "fitting in" as far as I am concerned, and is something that I never liked. I have a few pairs of shorts actually marketed to women, as they are better fitted. I dislike bunchy pants or shorts, and I prefer having a better fit around my butt, and these days the women's shorts are shorter, mostly about 2" above the knee on me, I can't stand the look or feel of them below the knee.

Hairy, if you don't like your legs looking slim, try a different kind of biking, the pedal powered variety. Your legs may still look slim, but with skirts above the knee, the muscles you develop in the thighs will certainly counteract that, and most women will er.... appreciate them.

Being looked at? Yes, it's something that most people feel uncomfortable with, but I tell myself that's part of why I want to wear skirts. It makes me obsess over the outfits, to see that they work. Then I take a breath, brace my shoulders back, and step out.

[hairy]

partlyscot, I don't mind my legs looking slim because they really annoy the wife and daughter as mine are best. I do go pedal cycling a bit and with all the gardening I do I have good muscle tone. My legs do look good in a skirt as the wife tells me, but to me going public they are a bit fem.
Generally speaking I have no problem with my body shape or looks.

[Caultron]

...I think part of my problem could be not wanting my legs on show. I know that I don't even want to be seen out in a pair of shorts, this is probably because my legs are very smooth and slim, to me they look feminine which is odd because the of me is hairy including full bikers beard. I've always had problem with people seeing my legs. I don't like covering them with long socks etc as that defeats the object of comfort. I also only like skirts on the short side, so it does seem to be my leg problem...

Although I realize it may not be so easy, don't sweat the slim smooth legs.

• I'm sure they look better than fat hairy legs, especially with a skirt.
  
  Without being too obvious, take notice of other men's legs when they're wearing shorts. I'm sure you'll see a lot more smoothies than you expect.
  
  Many athletes shave their legs, including among others swimmmers, runners, bicyclists, dancers, and acrobats. It's not wimpy.
  
  Consider opaque tights.