Skirting the issue at work.

[partlyscot]

Actually, finally taking it head on.

I had asked the boss about wearing a skirt or kilt at work, ( as it happened, she had just finished talking about what and wasn't acceptable clothing, basically, clean and neat. ) and she said "go for it"

With that confirmed, I brought a plain polycotton nylon blend skirt in,....and stashed it in the locker. Where it sat, for quite some time. Several co-workers had seen me in a diagonal plaid wool skirt at a couple of parties, and had talked about it to others...but couldn't quite get up enough courage to put it on. Please note, the job is retail, I am in close contact with our customers, while the clientèle is generally fairly liberal, we do get a few who are more conservative.

Last week, while talking to a young female co-worker, I couldn't ignore her clothing, not a skirt, but an extremely short pair of stretch fit shorts. From behind, you could think that she was only wearing a t- shirt. Up close, there wasn't a lot of difference between the shorts and a pair of boyshort underwear. ( might have actually been that for all I could tell. )

To myself - "If she can wear those, a skirt longer than the shorts I am wearing now has got to be acceptable "

Excused myself from the floor, went upstairs, and changed into the skirt. So far, it has prompted some discussion and questions, but it is fairly well received. Many more than I thought saw it instantly, but others that I thought must have noticed, didn't, until it was brought to their attention by others comments. With only a couple of exceptions, the customers response has been a quick flick of a glance, a faint look of surprise/confusion, and then carry on. I have the sense that there is a general approval from most, interactions seem to be a bit friendlier. There have been a few that have seemed to avoid me, something under 1% I would say. For myself, it feels much more free, though that's partly because I've been over thinking it, and it's a relief to drop that. Walking around the store feels much nicer, and that will be a stronger feeling as we get into Summer. It does take a little getting used to, the airyness keeps triggering a tendency to check my pants aren't unzipped, ( Oh, right, no pants! ) Strange combination of vulnerability and freedom. I hadn't considered the fact that I sometimes have to climb ladders, but so far it seems to be OK, the skirts is knee length, and experimenting with an angled mirror at the bottom of my stairs at home, only someone standing right by the ladder and more or less trying, to look will see anything, and then all you will get is a flash of colour, I exclusively wear snug briefs, absolutely nothing dangles or hangs out. if someone is rude enough for that, I don't care for myself, but I will give them more than enough grief to put a stop to that nonsense.

I'm sure that before long, there will be some interactions that are noteworthy, and will probably post them in this thread.

[Caultron]

It sounds like you have a great boss!

And bravo on overcoming your fears!

...With only a couple of exceptions, the customers response has been a quick flick of a glance, a faint look of surprise/confusion, and then carry on...

Yes, that's how it goes everywhere. 97% little or no notice, 2% smiles and compliments, 1% frowns but nothing serious. And you get some frowns no matter what you wear.

What type of business is this?

[partlyscot]

What type of business is this?

Outdoor gear and clothing. Don't want to be more specific than that, or give the name. If you know me, you could find this posting, but I don't want the company name linked to this in a casual search. Should not be an issue, but just being cautious and avoiding potential issues down the road.

[Stu]

This story illustrates how we have progressed into another phase.

Twenty years ago, a story like this would have been unbelievable: the writer would have been humiliated and ordered to change, or dismissed. A decade ago, this would have attracted at least some serious negativity from bosses, colleagues and the public. Now, if you have the motivation and courage - it barely registers.

Twenty years ago, the vast majority of the public would have said the idea of a man wearing a skirt was ridiculous - proper men don't wear skirts. A decade ago, we may have seen a 50/50 approval rating for this. Now you have majority acceptance and, often, expressed approval.

If this is where we are, then that's brilliant but we are ready to move on to the next phase. People have to see not just that the odd individual is prepared to do this, but that there is a significant number who would actually like to expand their sartorial options in this direction. In other words, where partlyscot has been the pioneer, others must follow his path.

If we do this, in a decade we will have not just approval, but complete normalisation and every shop which sells clothes for men will have a selection of skirts.

If we don't, we could be back to Square One.

[STEVIE]

Hey Partly Scot,
Very well done indeed, I spent a big chunk of my working life in retail and would never have dreamt that it would have been possible to operate in a skirt.
From what you say your employer seems to have a fairly laid back approach, even the girls I worked with would never have been allowed to appear in the attire you described your colleague in.
Nobody has followed my lead but you may just start something.
Steve.

[Caultron]

This story illustrates how we have progressed into another phase...

I suspect this is more a result of general LGBT acceptance than with us specifically, even if we don't actually place ourselves in those communities.

[partlyscot]

I don't want to give a false impression here, I am in Canada, where there are laws with teeth to protect various forms of self expression. Technically, if I had an issue, and needed to resort to workplace or general laws, I may need to invoke the transgender clause. I don't think of myself that way, but from the technical description, it could fall under that, and my opinion is that what I am trying to do ( apart from the comfort issue ) is to question what society defines as feminine / masculine. The company has been traditionally very laid back, though of late, it has become more corporate, but not anywhere near as formal as most others. Example, one of the old timers here told me a story of the day the guys decided to wear dresses, one borrowed his GF's little summer dress, his GF was average height, he was not. You can imagine where that put the hemline! He had the general appearance of a lumberjack, and looked hysterical in the dress. He deliberately approached a customer who looked like, and was dressed like, another lumberjack, plaid shirt and all. Apparently he was totally stunned, couldn't even speak! The intention was to actually have a bit of fun with the customers and it generally went over well. These days I think that might be going a little overboard, but it's only about 3 years since one guy dressed as a prostitute for Halloween. Leather skirt, fishnets, 3 inch heels and low cut blouse. ( No forms, and hairy chest, with the cheap wig that really made it clear that humour was the desired result! )

It's not likely that there will be any backlash on me, indeed, we had a Head office staff visit, and pep talk meeting, to which I did not wear a skirt, ( too cold that morning ) but one of the other guys turned up in an actual kilt, with sporran. Another one has said he plays the bagpipes, and will turning up in his kilt at some point. I fully expect a Utilikilt to turn up soon as well. In recent weeks, I have seen the previously described short shorts, one guy who often wears very brief running shorts, ( he does lead a run group at times though ) one guy in a pair of board shorts in a near neon pink. Many of the girls wear various types of yoga pants, from staid to err... well fitted. Many wear skirts, either on random days, or as a habit.

Apparently one guy approached my GF, ( who also works there ) and said "I see partlyscot is rocking a skirt today?" She told him that I had been wearing them at home for some time, her totally calm response gave him something to think about I suspect. I have been looking through my collection, and seeing which others I think I can wear. I have made no secret of the fact that it is a skirt, but the general outline is very similar to a kilt, without any pleating. Most have taken it to be some form of kilt, and are tending to regard it from that point of view. I will be wearing ones more definitely a skirt, but I'll stay away from the very flouncy stuff I think for now.

[STEVIE]

Partly Scot
It doesn't matter how you get around it, you've achieved the most important step and done a good days work in a skirt.
If you are productive and profitable there by, the "bosses" will be quite happy.
It's worked for me, so far.
Steve.

[crfriend]

It doesn't matter how you get around it, you've achieved the most important step and done a good days work in a skirt.
If you are productive and profitable there by, the "bosses" will be quite happy.

This is, actually, the crux of the matter. If it's proved that we -- as guys in skirts -- are as productive, or better yet, slightly more so, than what convention dictates, then the day will absolutely be won. The more men who are exposed to the notion, the better; I'm not saying we're at the "tipping point" just yet, but we may be getting close.

I ran across my first "bloke in a skirt" likely about 30 years ago when I was working computer field-service in Boston, and it was a notion that stuck in my mind. It's not something that would have flown then, but wind the clock forward to the early 2000s and it did. As far as the notion of trans-* goes, I make no bones in my assertion of, "There is no subtext. This is a fashion statement and precisely nothing more." I find that immediately blunts all speculation and lets everyone get back onto the same page quickly and effectively.

To those folks upon whose shoulders I stand, I salute you! With any luck, I'll have made an impression as well as I certainly tend to get out and about enough. I was supposed to go to Town Meeting this evening, but I was just too tired to even contemplate staying up that late, although I have shown up for those in skirts before and am well known about town for it.

[GerdG]

Congratulations, Partlyscot!

Actually, finally taking it head on.

Strange combination of vulnerability and freedom. I hadn't considered the fact that I sometimes have to climb ladders, but so far it seems to be OK, the skirts is knee length, and experimenting with an angled mirror at the bottom of my stairs at home, only someone standing right by the ladder and more or less trying, to look will see anything, and then all you will get is a flash of colour.

Excactly my experience:



Add to that that your skirt must be well above the eyes of the spectator and that he/she must be directly under you.

[pelmut]

... only someone standing right by the ladder and more or less trying, to look will see anything, and then all you will get is a flash of colour.

Excactly my experience:

In the early days of kilt wearing, I had to help clear up at the end of a dance; to my horror I suddenly realised that this would mean climbing a stepladder to take down some cables. I decided the only way was to just get on and do it, it would have caused more fuss and bother if I had tried to refuse. I consoled myself with the fact that I had not come dressed in a kilt with the express intention of climbing ladders and exposing my underwear, so I mentally prepared myself with a few witty remarks in case anyone drew attention to me.

As I began climbing, I noticed one of the helpers was standing directly beneath me, so I called down to him, "Don't look up or you'll go blind!". Joke over ...and I got on with the job without any further ado.

[dillon]

Very good, Partlyscot. For me, it still remains an impossibility, though I am considering retirement and some other avocation. In that case, time will tell...

[skirtingtoday]

Partlyscot - great to hear your latest forray into the skirted world!! Even better that your boss is quite accepting of it.

Glad it went well for you and I look forward to hearing of any further discussions/comments etc.

I think I might take some encouragement from this - we have a barbeque for the staff this Friday afternoon at the rear of our office and I was considering wearing my black UK to it. In fact I will! Just about 40 staff members to consider though about 8 or 9 have been regaled with it at a 10-pin bowling night.

Nobody commented on it then.

Most of them have seen me in a tartan kilt. (in fact at our Xmas lunch, one of the Directors said he would have been disappointed if I hadn't worn it! )

Just checked our office "dress code" and the only referencse there are that we "...are expected to dress appropriately at all times in relation to your role..." and the company does "...not seek to inhibit individual choice in relation to your appearance" My role is as a structural engineer and based mainly in the office but I do have external meetings with clients on construction projects. (Personal hygiene and grooming is important too.)

I have no problem keeping a pair of "breeks" to change into for those specific occasional meetings but am wondering if they would consider a skirt "appropriate"?

Ross

[crfriend]

This story illustrates how we have progressed into another phase.

Twenty years ago, a story like this would have been unbelievable: the writer would have been humiliated and ordered to change, or dismissed. A decade ago, this would have attracted at least some serious negativity from bosses, colleagues and the public. Now, if you have the motivation and courage - it barely registers.

Indeed. It registers, but it registers at a different level than it did twenty years ago. Sure, some look at you askance, some look at you like you're pursuing a trans-* agenda, and, likely. most just don't care any more because their own lives have gotten more threatening and complex.

I have long held that we here stand upon the shoulders of giants -- and those giants are the chaps with balls of solid rock or brass who had the courage to pursue the idea twenty -- or even thirty -- years ago. Those guys are made of stern stuff indeed. We have a few here who still visit from time to time, and I hope they enjoy the outcome of a process that they started. We owe them a debt of gratitude, and we also owe it to them to make sure that it doesn't go entirely off the rails.

This is why I tend to harp on the "believability" aspect of things. If one makes the conscious decision to swap trousers for a skirt, it's really up to that individual to be an exemplar for how to carry the look -- to make it a look not only worthy of emulation, but one desirable to emulate. It's through this process that the more timid may be enticed to join the liberated.

As Stu intimates, "Let's not turn the clock back by botching things and looking silly."

[partlyscot]

This is why I tend to harp on the "believability" aspect of things. If one makes the conscious decision to swap trousers for a skirt, it's really up to that individual to be an exemplar for how to carry the look -- to make it a look not only worthy of emulation, but one desirable to emulate. It's through this process that the more timid may be enticed to join the liberated.

As Stu intimates, "Let's not turn the clock back by botching things and looking silly."

I think I understand what you mean by "believability"

I'm not sure I would use the same word, and my concept of it may differ, but it's something that I spend a lot of thought on. I am considering options of which skirt to use next, nothing too short, or floaty, as I already said, but definitely starting to move away from anything that someone could mistake for a kilt.

It's important to me that it looks good, at least to my eyes, and to a slightly lesser degree, that it isn't too jarring. There are other considerations, mostly that I can ride a bike in it, in particular getting on and off without flashing my underwear at someone. It also needs to be not loose, or long enough, to catch things at work. There are also "uniform" requirements, in that a certain shirt, or soon, vest, needs to be worn. The colour needs to be taken into consideration. A lot of my colleagues seem to give little thought to that, but for my own satisfaction, and to make a case for skirt wearing, it's important to get it right.