Your daughter needs to learn who is who in the relationship. Children do not tell their parents how to live their lives unless the parent is very much mentally incompetent. A polite request is one thing; a demand is something else.hairy wrote:I've had a set back regards this issue tonight, it seems the daughter does not like my wearing skirts and told me to wear shorts, that's something I've always had to do when she's home and I've hated it.
"Dad, it bothers me when you wear skirts. Please don't around me.", is one thing. "I hate your skirts. Wear shorts.", is something entirely different. When the question is approached and everybody is being an adult, a return question of, "Why does it bother you so? Have you thought about it at all from a rational perspective?" becomes a viable and very worthwhile option; unfortunately, in a demand situation that option is immediately removed from the table by the one making the demand. Which approach is more adult in nature?
Another tactic that might work is the approach of, "I stopped making demands of you when you turned 18. Why are you now making demands of me?"
Of note, is that funerals are not usually the best place to appear "out of the ordinary". That said, when a mutual friend of Sapphire's and I passed away, I did wear a skirt to his ceremony; however, he was a very counter-culture type, and his widow, daughter, and two sons approved of my choice (as I was later informed). We remain friends with the remaining family. Times like this aren't easy, Best of luck.