Educating the public about Freestyle Fashion

[Ryan]

Hi everyone,

I don't venture in public wearing Freestyle Fashion as often as I'd like, but when I do I'd usually give to people I encounter a strip of paper that I hope would educate them about Freestyle Fashion.

The wording on my current strip is a mash-up of wording from the "official" website about Freestyling, http://freespace.virgin.net/firey.fox/freestyle.htm. As did the "official" website, I titled my strip "What is Freestyle Fashion?" My strip's wording goes:

What is Freestyle Fashion? For too long, women have had all the choice when it comes to clothing. They have even developed their own style with traditionally male clothes, such as trousers/pants or suits. But now, many men are developing their own styles too, should they so choose, with traditionally female clothes, thus claiming their total clothing rights in the same way as women have. While Freestylers are "cross-dressing," we don't want to "pass" as women or deceive or necessarily adopt feminine mannerisms, as might be common in cross-dressing.That's what makes Freestyle different from cross-dressing or any transvestite related idea. The men who wear Freestyle do so, expressing their own personality as men; it's all about freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, [my e-mail].com.)

Over the years, I probably gave out hundreds of these strips with minor changes in the wording. (I once referred people to the "official" freestyle website's URL, but I've since nixed it.) I received many positive comments about the strips after people read them, but no one had ever contacted me for "more info." I now think the wording I used may be the reason why.

For one thing, to say that women "For too long" had "all the choice when it comes to clothing" . . . and that men are "claiming their total clothing rights" strikes a polemical or contentious tone and may have turned off many people, as did the strip's wording which, as a whole, sounds "over the top." And I suppose most people could count the "many men" they know who choose to wear Freestyle Fashion on their pinky, if that many. Worse, the strip does not answer the question, "What is Freestyle Fashion?"

What to do? Rewrite the text, of course, which follows:

What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, even traditionally male clothes, such as trousers/pants or suits. But now, men can also enjoy this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dresses. While "Freestylers" are arguably "crossdressing," they don't want to "pass" as women or deceive or necessarily adopt feminine mannerisms. This is how "Freestyling" is different from "regular" crossdressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so while expressing their personalities as themselves; it's really all about men simply enjoying fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, [my e-mail].com.)

I think you will agree that this version is not polemical or contentious. It talks about enjoying a freedom, in this case the freedom to wear whatever one likes. It also mentions the freedom for men to "choose" to wear Freestyle Fashion. It's also toned down and don't sound "over the top." And most important, it actually defines "Freestyle Fashion" and defines it in a positive light.

What do you think? Is this new version of my "education strip" ready for "prime time"? When you wear your Freestyle Fashion in public, will you give out such strips to people you encounter and try to "win their hearts and minds"?

Thanks for reading.

Ryan

[crfriend]

When you wear your Freestyle Fashion in public, will you give out such strips to people you encounter and try to "win their hearts and minds"?

I can very honestly say in response to that query, "Hell, no!"

Here's why. If somebody is genuinely curious, then a conversation will ensue, and it's through conversation that misperceptions and misunderstandings are best worked out. They won't be worked out by virtue of a little slip of paper thrust into a misunderstanding hand; in fact, thrusting a slip of paper into somebody's paw has the same level of subtlety as, "Your call is important to us. Please wait for the next available drone." -- it's less than worthless, it indicates an unwillingness to connect.

First and foremost, wear what you wish fearlessly and unapologetically; wear it with confidence and pride. Actively engage those who seem curious or even hostile. Hiding behind slips of paper makes one look weak and ineffectual -- which, I'd posit, is not the way we'd like to be perceived.

"Talking the talk" is child's-play. "Walking the walk" is tough. If one can do the latter, then the least one can do is engage folks in the former -- with humour, humility, and stories. That's how one captures minds.

[Ryan]

Hi crfriend,

Thank you for your forthright reply.

I can understand your objections to my "education strips."

What I didn't say is that I don't just give out the strips to everyone I happen to encounter. "Here madam, take this piece of paper, read it and learn."

Before I give a strip, I'd always establish a connection with the person first. This connection could be encounters I have with employees at stores where I shop for Freestyle Fashion. Or if I'm among a crowd of people, such as at a theater or a museum, and I strike conversations with them. Then when I'm asked about my outfits, it's a natural thing to give out a strip to start a conversation rolling. Or even if I'm not asked about my outfit (the persons may be too "shy" or feel it's too awkward to ask) and I sense their interest, I could lead off and say, "Oh, if you're curious about why I'm wearing this outfit, here's some information to help explain. (I'd then provide a strip.) Often, the person will say, "Yes, I was curious. Thank you for the info."

And then there are the occasional people who step up to me with unsolicited compliments about my outfits. What a great opportunity to give these people a strip and start a conversation going. Then I've had people who wanted to take a photo of me in my "frillies." Since the strip has my e-mail address, what's a more convenient way to get them to send the photo to me? (Regrettably, no one has yet followed through. Maybe with my new strips, I'll have better luck.)

So, crfriend, I hope I've set the record straight as to my "rule of engagement" for giving out my strips, which is simply: Establish a connection with the person first, then give him/her a strip, especially if he/she shows an interest.

I hope you will try giving out the strips. Besides, what if after you have your conversations with new people, and these people have other questions and want to talk further? How can they contact you again? Will you take the time to exchange your contact info with them or would you prefer to conveniently give them a strip? Besides, should these people not think of asking for your contact info, when you give them a strip with your e-mail address, they will have it for their "future reference" to either contact you again or use the info on the strip to tell their friends and associates about their "encounter with an interesting guy who wears Freestyle Fashion."

Thanks again for your forthright reply.

Ryan

[STEVIE]

Hi Ryan,
There's a copy of a poem kicking around the cafe that I penned a few years ago. I kind of understand what you are trying to achieve with the "strip".
I would let it be read by way of a light hearted explanation of my skirted preferences, I still carry it today but it's only been used twice in the past two years.
That was for the benefit of relatives, one to tell, the other who discovered.
I'm skirted every day, at work, out and about.
Folks see, they gape, laugh and occasionally, talk ,that's the best.
I can guarantee one thing though ,they all "think".
What the outcome of those thoughts are is anyones' guess ,I'd hope positive, but I can't do any more than that.
I just go on my merry way about my business, in a skirt.
Steve.

[Ryan]

Hi Steve,

Thank you for your reply, in which you said, partly:

Hi Ryan,
There's a copy of a poem kicking around the cafe that I penned a few years ago.

I apologize for the tardiness of my response. I'd like to read that poem. If you can direct me to it, that would be swell.

I kind of understand what you are trying to achieve with the "strip".

There's really no need to only "kind of" understand what I'm trying to achieve with the strip. It's really simple. I just want to reach out to people I encounter when I'm out and about wearing my "frillies," and educate these people about Freestyle Fashion, our hobby and for some, their passion. And I want to do this in a convenient and straightforward way. Why don't you try it?

I would let it be read by way of a light hearted explanation of my skirted preferences, I still carry it today but it's only been used twice in the past two years.

By "it," I first thought you were referring to my strip. Then I realized you had quickly changed up and was now referring to your poem. You continued:

That was for the benefit of relatives, one to tell, the other who discovered.
I'm skirted every day, at work, out and about.
Folks see, they gape, laugh and occasionally, talk ,that's the best.
I can guarantee one thing though ,they all "think".
What the outcome of those thoughts are is anyones' guess ,I'd hope positive, but I can't do any more than that.
I just go on my merry way about my business, in a skirt.
Steve.

It seems you've provided snippets of your poem here. Very good. Can't wait to see what the whole poem looks like.

Thanks again for your reply.

RYAN

[Ryan]

Hello everyone,

As of today, March 17, 2015, over three weeks since I first posted this thread, there have been more than 210 views, and I received only two replies. I had expected more replies, but what can I say? Still, aren't there more members here interested about educating or enlightening the polity about Freestyle Fashion? If there are, what method do you use? What do you think about my method of handing out written strips of paper?

Speaking of written strips of paper, in my original posting I said I would rewrite the strip to be less polemical or contentious than the writing on the strips I previously handed out.

The proposed draft is as follows:

What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, even traditionally male clothes, such as trousers/pants or suits. But now, men can also enjoy this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dresses. While "Freestylers" are arguably "crossdressing," they don't want to "pass" as women or deceive or necessarily adopt feminine mannerisms. This is how "Freestyling" is different from "regular" crossdressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so while expressing their personalities as themselves; it's really all about men simply enjoying fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, [my e-mail].com.)

I've recently edited the draft and I've provided four (4) versions of it, below. Please select or vote for your favorite version. If you would, please tell me why you made your choice, so I could get valuable feedback from you.

So, before I "go to press" with my strips, here, in no particular order, are the revised versions of my strips. You might see subtle or "evolving" differences that seem to make big differences between the versions. But then, maybe I'm just being too "OCD" about this. Do vote away.

Version A:
What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, including traditionally male clothes, such as trousers or suits. But now, men are also enjoying this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dressses. While "Freestylers" are arguably "cross-dressing," they don't want to "pass" as women or necessarily adopt feminine mannerisms. This is how "Freestyling" differs from "regular" cross-dressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so while expressing their personalities as themselves; they simply want to enjoy fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, myemail@com.)

Version B:
What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, including traditionally male clothes, such as trousers or suits. But now, men are also enjoying this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dressses. While "Freestylers" arguably are "cross-dressing," they don't want to "pass" as women or necessarily adopt feminine attributes. This is how "Freestyling" differs from "regular" cross-dressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so while expressing their personalities as themselves; they simply want to enjoy fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, myemail@com.)

Version C:
What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, including traditionally male clothes, such as trousers or suits. But now, men can also enjoy this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dressses. While "Freestyling" is arguably "cross-dressing," it differs from "regular" cross-dressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity in that these men don't necessarily want to "pass" as women or adopt feminine attributes. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so while expressing their personalities as themselves; they simply want to enjoy fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, myemail@com.)

Version D:
What is Freestyle Fashion? When it comes to clothing, women have long enjoyed the freedom to wear whatever they like, including traditionally male clothes, such as trousers or suits. But now, men can also enjoy this same freedom when they choose to wear "Freestyle Fashion," or traditionally female clothes, such as skirts and dressses. While "Freestyling" is arguably "cross-dressing," it differs from "regular" cross-dressing or other transvestite or transgender related activity in that "Freestylers" don't necessarily want to "pass" as women or adopt feminine attributes. The men who wear Freestyle Fashion do so, simply to enjoy fashion freedom. (For more info, Google, "men's freestyle fashion" or contact me, myemail@com.)

There they are.

Thank you for your interest and for your vote. And lest I forget, I invite your comments and suggestions.

RYAN

[Pal]

I'm afraid I'm with crfriend "Hell no".

You are apologising for your fashion choice, and then, by introducing terms such a crossdressing, transvestism etc. and acknowledging they might think that, you are giving them a stick to beat you with.

I'm old enough to have seen the arrival of men's long hair, hippies, punks, goths, new romantics, men's pony tails, piercings and earrings, tattoos become mainstream and a heap of other fashion changes and none of these people ever felt they had to justify why they made their fashion choice. In general their attitude was they were in the vanguard and if you didn't like it you were out of step.

My feeling is, if you feel so strongly about handing something out, it should be assertive of your confidence in what you are doing not pander to their prejudices.

Maybe something like a card with "It's called freestyle fashion, educate yourself here (url)" or (tongue firmly in cheek) " at least I thought about what I'm wearing".

As other people have said on the site confidence in what you are wearing is all. Handing an explanation out is a sign of weakness which people will exploit. Your attitude should be 'why should I justify my fashion choices to you'.

[Milfmog]

I have to confess that I have chosen not to reply to this thread until now because, long ago, I was taught that if I have nothing nice to say, I am better off saying nothing.

I do not like the idea of carrying an explanation around with me, and an apology is an order of magnitude worse than that. If you must carry something that you can use as a crutch, at least make it positive and assertive. You really don't want to look as though you are cowering or uncertain; the pack rats WILL notice and then things can rapidly cease to be fun.

I do actually carry some cards in my hat. The hat manufacturer calls them "brag tags" and that is exactly the attitude that I believe you should adopt. An attitude similar to "This is me. This is how I dress. If you want to learn more, look here..."

I'd certainly keep any message short, avoid any mention of crossdressing and look the other person straight in the eye (both literally and metaphorically). Perhaps you could try something along the lines of:

"Clothes do not have to be boring. I enjoy my choice of clothes; can you say the same? If not, then perhaps you should visit http://www.skirtcafe.org"

OK. That's my advice and it is worth exactly what you paid for it, so feel free to ignore it if you wish.

Have fun,


Ian.

[Taj]

I'm reminded of the religious tracts that the "Jesus Freaks" of the 1970s used to hand out on the street. I'm not convinced that this practice ever converted anyone. Ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish and if your effort will really make any difference. I gave up trying to change anyone's mind but my own.

[Couya]

... over three weeks since I first posted this thread, there have been more than 210 views, and I received only two replies.

Could it be because the majority of the regular contributors* here are not sold on "freestyle" and reject notions such as cross dressing with "traditionally female clothes"?

You mentioned "frillies". Frills went out before WW2, and I'm not sorry. I don't think frills are of any interest to the modern person, man or woman, most of us preferring a down-to-earth look, embracing efficiency, and preferring practical garb, for warmth or for motility, and managing quite well without the extra buttons and bows -- or the handicap of high heels, for example.

Furthermore, I am probably not the only one to think "Do what you will with your strips; you won't convince anyone, but you are doing no harm."

You received few replies because, in general, café patrons avoid upsetting each other.

Martin
* the number of regulars is quite small.

[Caultron]

...I don't venture in public wearing Freestyle Fashion as often as I'd like, but when I do I'd usually give to people I encounter a strip of paper that I hope would educate them about Freestyle Fashion...

I think most people would respond much better to a friendly smile and a polite answer to any questions than they would to a printed manifesto.

[Sinned]

I'm with cltrn on this. I work in retail and I get much more positive sales when I TALK to customers. I can reinforce their decision to buy a particular product, say it's a nice design ( or whatever ), massage their ego in other words but I also get feedback. I have talked to customers about a man wearing a skirt ( not a dress ) and 99% of replies have either been positive or neutral. I have had very few negative replies. I have also been on the handing out leaflets for various organisations and the leaflet without any two-way communication is useless. So would I hand out a slip advocating skirts or freestyling - no, because I don't think that on its own would do any good - a waste of paper and time. I would rather educate by example and discussing if they ask questions, otherwise it is none of my concern.

[Big and Bashful]

I don't wear freestyle, I wear a skirt as an alternative to trousers. It's as simple as that, hardly anyone has queried my clothes and if they do I talk to them, verbal like. Most questions come when I wear my kilts, normaly about the tartan sometimes the old chestnut about underthings, a few have questioned me when I have worn one of my cargo denim skirts, never negatively. I don't see what you think you are going to achieve by handing out bits of paper, it seems like a propaganda handout to me. Sorry, but you did ask! (twice!)

[Uncle Al]

Ryan,

I've waited on making any kind of reply to your posts as I need to keep the thought coherent.

A) I like your positive attitude and willingness to promote 'alternative fashion'.
B) Your 'methods' are akin to the 'door-to-door' gospel spreaders claiming
'theirs is the best or only religion'. INSTANT TURN OFF for 99.9999999999%
of the populous.

My suggestion is to 'bin the whole concept'(when did I start using European terms?)
Most of the people will automatically trash the hand-out as soon as you're out of sight.
(I know I would, thinking this 'guy' is a nut-case.)
They won't waste their time to read it let alone 'check-out' the info.

A straight-forward approach is the best. Be polite, don't agitate any situation into something
you can't handle. Be confident and answer their questions, but don't over-elaborate your
answers. Remember the old acronym KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid

A great speaker is often silent, listening to what is going on around him/her.
Then the speaker has a better feel for his audience and how his 'speech' will
be accepted.

OK - Putting away the now


Uncle Al

[crfriend]

A great speaker is often silent, listening to what is going on around him/her. Then the speaker has a better feel for his audience and how his 'speech' will be accepted.

Those words are as close to gospel as they get. Recall, too, that those of us who attire ourselves "differently" need to have the poise, bearing, and confidence to really pull it off -- and remember that sometimes it's fine to blend back into the woodwork.

Being "different" takes guts; it takes nerve; and it takes a sense of self that's overwhelming. However, in the case of (many) guys wearing skirted garments, we are not so "different" from the rest of society; it's merely our sense of style, and that can be a powerful tool indeed. Foremost is the point that we should not apologise -- or seem to be doing so -- for our attire; this is something to be proud of. To even hint at apology is to give the entire game up at the starting gun. If somebody doesn't like it, that's his problem. Why make it yours?

Folks are always curious about the brave and confident ones in their midst. They fairly well gravitate to them. This is why the guy in a kilt always gets chatted up more than the bloke in jeans. Stand tall. Actively engage those around you who are curious and approach you -- they'll listen. Over the years I've found the best approach to be seeking common ground -- to point up that (In my case) "I'm just a regular bloke who happens to have tired of the same old day-to-day routine and decided to strike out on something different." Sexuality and the usual rubbish don't even have to come into play; as I had to do with a roomful of PhDs and MDs a couple of years ago to shut down all the "speculation": "There is no subtext to this. I happen to like the style, the fit, and the comfort. Nothing else." (I got the sense that the entire room was rather disappointed; they were expecting "more" -- or at least a "diagnosis".)

If one has the stones to head out onto the street wearing a skirt, he's got the stones to actively engage folks in conversation.

Now, sometimes, one, out of necessity, doesn't have time to actively engage. I recall that situation a few years ago when challenged by somebody, gesturing at my outfit, "What's with all this, then?" I merely pointed up that, "These are my clothes. Excuse me, but I have a train to catch." (which was entirely accurate).