There's a word for it ...

[crfriend]

Carl lamented the unoriginal sameness in modern fashion called Normcore. I would offer that all through history there has been sameness in fashion. Look at old pictures of people. Men wore suits with hats and women wore tailored dresses. They all looked the same. The difference today may be that clothing is more unisex. But let's examine that in more detail.

Yes, the men looked like men and the women looked like women, both dressed in the garb that was appropriate to the period. To this eye, that period style (I will not call it "costume" although some might) is quite a bit more attractive than t-shirts and jeans for both sexes -- but that's just my own take on the matter.

What I see in play is a radical dumbing-down of the ability of people -- especially guys -- to actually use clothing as a signaling device. Women still have the "permission" to dress nicely; men, unless they're in an elite class, have a hard time affording anything really nice, and so are relegated to what comes off the peg -- Dockers and Hanes. It can be expensive, too, for the gals, which means that they will not deploy the style "when it doesn't matter".

From personal experience, I have found that women don't bother with dresses or skirts if they're not "hunting" (e.g. for a mate) or are doing so for another very targeted purpose. Men lament this in the standard refrain that we've all heard a few dozen times, "Before we married, my wife used to dress beautifully; beginning on the day afterward, it was pants and boring things!" Women likely do as well, but the contrast isn't as great as the range of expressivity allowed for the guy is typically very small.

Does it work the other way if men could wear skirts and dresses? Yes it does. We can experience the same sexy sensation by displaying our bodies in vulnerable ways that women can appreciate. We can experience the feeling of putting our body out there for women to judge and appreciate. Women feel threatened by a man in a skirt as do men feel threatened by a woman in a skirt. Women don't want to have to compete with men for attractive attention.

I rather suspect that when women dress provocatively it's down to hunting behavior or doing so to get something. Guys -- rightly or wrongly -- usually don't have to do this. I know that when I "push the envelope" is has nothing to do with trying to influence those around me, and has everything to do with what I feel. Therefore, the gals should not need to feel "threatened" in any way -- and even if they sensed it, we're pushing at cross-purposes anyway because I am not trying to attract a guy! There may be a momentary blip in the attention the guys are paying a gal who's hunting when a guy in a skirt walks in, but that'll be done with in a few minutes' time and for the guys it'll be back to basic biology.

It might be different when viewed the from a guy's perspective if the bloke in a skirt gets a lot of attention from the gals -- and this has been known to happen. In my case, I'm not "on the market" and that comes out pretty quickly which does seem to cause a loss of interest on everybody's part. I view this as good. The feminist refrain of, "I'm not wearing this for you, I'm wearing it for me" comes to mind.

And as much as Normcore is annoying to Carl and others on this board, figure this: Watch what women wear when they go out on weekends- super short low-cut dresses and stiletto heels. Yes they're dressing like women but they still look all the same. There is no variety. Sameness could be what we all want- our cars look the same, our houses look the same, and yes our clothes look all the same. It takes an artist's originality to have some style and buck the trend. And to be confident while being different.

I am not so much annoyed that "Normcore" exists -- it's the extent that it has destroyed the curiosity and desire to explore new regimes that gets my dander up. Women "on the hunt" dress in certain ways because it's a signal flag (sometimes a flare) -- and guys, like good little fish, respond to it. It's like chumming for sharks; through enough blood and bait into the water and sharks'll show up. Amp up the "input" (in the chumming case, the stink), and they'll show up faster. It's a tool. (And it's a tool that the guys don't have, mind.)

So Normcore is the status-quo, the way to slink through life unnoticed, and not have to answer to people who may ask "Why"? I find myself getting lazy and wearing jeans more than I should. I could put more effort into my clothes. I already own nice clothes, but then I figure that if the fashion bar is set low than why raise it?

Bingo. I might almost posit that "Normcore" could be a predecessor to mental illness and depression -- or an outright expression of said mental illness. Sapphire has oft commented that when she sees me wearing trousers for more than a couple of days straight she gets worried.

Which brings me to my last point which is, if you are a guy wearing skirts, have some style. Don't just wear what you found in the charity or consignment store. Find out which clothes are flattering on your body type and wear them. We guys are lucky that there are no rules for us wearing skirts as there are for women, so we can make up our own. Let's have style and show women the fun that they are missing.

Absolutely! It's not just about the skirt, it's about the entire package; the two are inseparable. Seek out a style that appeals to you, and it'll likely look good on you because you believe in it. Cultivate this. Diligently. Carefully. And with substantial power of will.

We get one go at our existence on this little rock we call home. "Normcore" is not the way to get the most out of it. I know what's waiting at the end of the road for me, and I'm not going to let small-mind thinking confine me to a particular box that some particular marketer wants me to be in. Just that it is said that, "Life is too damn short to drink bad wine" (or beer), life is too damn short to let others choose your path for you. Yes, that means a fight from time to time, but contemplate your dying thoughts. Will they really be, "Gosh, I wish I'd worn pants more often."?