I remember this from days of old and it could be adapted by replacing bread for food.
Bread Kills!
1. More than 98% of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.
5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:
a. 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread.
b. 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
c. 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
d. 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
e. 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently.
6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the people born since 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.
7. Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.
9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
10. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90% water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
12. New born babies can choke on bread.
13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
15. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
a. No sale of bread to minors.
b. A nationwide “Just Say No To Toast” campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
c. A 300% federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
d. No animal or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
e. The establishment of “Bread-free” zones around schools.
Don't try and analyse the logic behind this - it's so absurd. But I do believe that our reliance on processed high fat high sugar foods full of preservatives, flavourings and colourings are really gad for us. Even our fruits and vegetables have had most of the things that made them good bred out of them. Has anyone noticed how the flowers that you can buy, particularly roses, have no scent nowadays.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
BUT we all need to consider what we eat can 
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